| Title: Nocturnal Fadings |
| Author: Ghostbot aka Aydin S.K. |
| Rating: PG-13 |
| Summary: Giles and Willow are casting a spell to give Spike a soul, it goes awry, and as a result Spike doesn't have any recollection of his relationship with Buffy. A test for Buffy, as well as Spike. |
| Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. No copyright infringement intended nor implied. Don't sue me for my creative contribution. |
| Author's note: Story was set in s6. This was my first B/S fic. Please be gentle :) |
"...and he shall be given the hu..-"
"Hey, have you seen Anya?"
interruped Xander as he bursted into Giles' place, where Willow and Giles were performing a spell.
"Oh, you were chanting, what are you guys..-"
"Thank you for.. not knocking,"
Giles sarcastically responded, appearently very annoyed by the interruption, and ignoring Xander's questions.
"Yeah, yeah, what ever, 'knock-knock', now where's Anya?"
"Oh no, Giles, we messed up..big time..!"
Willow said as she was reading the instructions of the spell.
"What? How? We didn't even got to finish it!"
Giles shouted as he gave Xander a look.
Startled by Giles' sudden outburst she reluctantly answered him,
"Well, that's kinda the problem..."
"Well, what does it say?"
"It sais: 'Leaving this spell unfinished will have disastrous concequenses' ."
Giles listened patiently, waiting for Willow to spill out the plot.
"What, that's it?!"
was his disgruntled response and janked the book out of Willow's hands.
In the meanwhile Xander felt quite ignored,
"No thanks guys, I think I can find Anya myself. Thanks for the offer though. I'll be on my way now,"
and pretended to leave.
Giles looked up,
"Hm...Oh yes, no problem, Xander,"
he mumbled while reading the instructions, made a waving gesture, and continued reading.
"Willow!"
Xander shouted enthousiastic and rushed to her,
"I bet you can help me fi..-"
"Goodluck, Xan,"
she smiled, as a subtle hint to 'get lost'.
He frowned, then got all excited,
"Oh, right, I see what's going on here! You're planning a surprise party for me!"
"What the bloody hell for..?"
Giles snapped at him as he took off his glasses. Willow gave Giles a look, for he would see the advantage of this situation.
"Oh, I see, well, erm, yes, actually we are. Now, be gone, don't want to ruin the surprise,"
Giles stuttered.
"Ha, that is SO cool! See you guys later!"
Xander did a goofy happy dance, and made his way to the door and left.
Giles seemed relieved, and smiled at Willow.
"God, is he really that stu..-"
"Giles..."
"Yes, right. Let's get on with it."
Giles couldn't get that smirk off his face, but Willow wasn't as near as amused.
"Giles! Let's focus on the problem here! We don't have time for...leading Xander on, to afterwards laugh about it!"
"Well, you bloody well forced me into lying with that, that, innocently malevolent look of yours!"
With that Giles rises, and drops his glasses on the table.
For a few seconds they stare at each other's serious faces, to both burst into laughter. Giles was the first who stopped laughing,
"Well, that's quite enough, let's focus on that problem Xander helped to create,"
He sat down, and resumed the search in his trusty books. As did Willow,
"Yes, we probably should fix this problem, big problem.."
"Big problem..?"
Buffy asked when she walked in on them.
"Do I get to save the world again?".
"Oo, nothing. Not a problem. Everything's fine!"
was Willows quick response, trying to grin her way out of it.
"Fine, fine, fine! You know me!"
Buffy took off her coat and sat down,
"Okay, guys, what's the what..Spill it."
Giles took it on him to confess,
"We did a spell."
Buffy didn't seem to be surprised, she just leaned back,
"Oh...no big deal."
Giles and Willow went silent. Silence that gave away, that indeed there was, a biggie, and Buffy straightened,
"I smell a 'biggie-vibe' in Giles' house."
"It might be erm..a biggie, we're not entirely sure,"
was Giles' answer to her question.
"What kind of an answer is that? You, watcher, books, lots of info. How can you not be sure?"
Willow hesitated to add something to it, but decided against it. But Buffy noticed Willow mouthing, and turned to her.
"What is it Willow?"
"Nothing. Wasn't gonna, say anything if that's what you're implying!"
Giles stood up,
"Buffy, it's Spike."
"Spike? What about Spike?"
To make things more complicated, or perhaps awkward, Spike appeared at the doorstep, with his ubersexy grin,
"Yes, what about me?"
Buffy stood up to give him a welcome hug,
"Hey Spikey. What brings you to Giles' humble home?".
Just when she was about to kiss him, Spike broke free from Buffy's hug.
"Well, certainly not to be hugged by a Slay-- were you just about to give me a pack on the cheek?! Not feeling a hundred percent?"
Buffy was shocked, "W - what?".
And Spike was amused,
"Are you tellin' me you're actually surprised?"
Buffy lowered her head a bit, trying to hide her disappointment, and Spike was surprised by this.
Spike was ready to leave when he suddenly remembered why he came over,
"Right, I almost forgot, have you guys seen my band?"
Buffy gave him a look,
"W - what?"
"Again with the 'w - what', what part of me asking where my band is didn't you understand?"
Spike seemed to be serious, like, not kidding.
"You are kidding, right?"
"Slayer, read-my-sodding-lips; have-you-seen-my-band-questionmark."
Buffy turned around to Willow,
"What the hell did the two of you do?"
"A - a spell."
"Yeah, we already covered that part. Now tell me everything." she demanded.
"We did a spell to give Spike his human soul back...to make him more William and less Spike. That's...basically the recap.."
Willow nervously rattled.
"And..oooh, let me guess, something went wrong, right?"
Buffy was obviously and understandably annoyed,
"Quite wrong actually",
Giles interruped,
"we didn't get to finish it."
"Since when is that a bad thing?!"
"Right then, if no one bothers to tell me where my band is, I'll bugger off."
"Spike, stay. Giles, continue."
"Actually, if you don't mind me leaving, I have to find the guys, rehearsal y'know."
"Spike, you don't have a band."
"I do too!" Spike argued, Buffy, quite fed up, grabbed him firmly by his neck and threw him on the couch,
"Alright, I'll stay, if you insist."
"Now, what went wrong?Besides, not finishing it."
Giles grabbed the book and started explaining, and of course every now and again he would stipulate how much this was Xander's fault.
"Haha, oh come on, are you sayin' me and the Slayer are lovers? And because of your bloody spell failed, I can't remember any of it? Good one, almost had me. Try another."
"Erm, actually, we are very serious. You also seem to think you have a band, and I'm quite sure, you have not. Well, it is possible, since we never were, and certainly never will be, the best mates who share everything," added Giles.
Buffy had about as much disaster she could take, and interrupted Giles' babbling,
"Do you guys have too much time on your hands ? I mean...! Why - why the hell can't anybody leave my boyfriends alone?! And - and...!"
"Yeah, you tell 'em girl. Don't be too hard on them though, Slayer, I think the 'and - and..!' was very convincing. I'm all tremblin'." Spike sarcastically added.
"Spike, shut your mouth,"
she snapped at him and turned back to Giles and Willow,
"I didn't ask you to give him a soul. Been there, done that, remember? I finally started to like him, and.. You all noticed! He's good, helps us, even grew something we could call a conscious! Now you took it all from him, and he's back at being the most revolting dead thing- alive."
"Hey, don't go there you - you bint! Calling me revolting. I happen to be drop-dead-gorgeous you know, ask Dru! By the way, where is she? Haven't seen 'er around lately."
"That's because she's dead, Spike,"
Buffy lied.
"What?!"
furious Spike stood up,
"Who the bleeding hell is responsible for that?!"
"You are. Spike. You killed her. You wanna know why?"
Buffy said as she walked towards him.
"I did bloody what? Why?! And you're coming awefully close, back off lady, just- bloody sod off!"
But Buffy just kept coming closer, untill she had driven Spike into a corner,
"You killed her to proove you loved me. From dust to dust...Oh...that poor Dru..."
she whispered in his ear before gently nibbling on it.
"Bloody Christ, now you're starting to.. freak me out,"
Spike said with trembling lips.
"Ooo..what's that? Spikey wanna get freaky..?"
"What the hell's gotten into you, Slayer..! Oh, god no, don't touch that! Bloody hell.. guys! Help me!"
Giles cleared his throat,
"Erm, shall we leave the two of you alone?"
"Yes, leave us.."
Buffy answered and continued.
"No! Guys, don't go! You have to help me get 'er off me!"
"Well, you two have fun now. Willow, shall we?"
"Yes..p-please, don't feel like watching them, you know. I mean, goddes, EW. She's my best friend you know, and-and, I'm not into that kinky stuff, I wouldn't let her watch when me and Tara -"
"Willow, please do shut up."
As Giles and Willow exit the room they can still hear Spike screaming his lungs out,
"She's taking off my jacket! Bloody do something! Oh God, sodding..-"
"Shhh...quiet now. Don't deny it Spike, go with it."
Buffy whispered and kissed him.
Part of Spike wanted to give in, but the other part was majorly disturbed. Not just by the thought of kissing a Slayer, but for Buffy trying anything to make him remember. Was it really so? Did he love the Slayer, and had forgotten it? It must be, normally she would kick his face. Quite the different kind of touchy-feely. 'Oh God, is that my conscious?' Spike thought to himself.
Suddenly Spike pushed her away,
"I can't do this. I mean, as much as I hate to admit it, you''ve got some bloody nice pair of..stones, Slayer, got to hand it to you..And you...Hell, you do everything right. But if it's really true, about the whole 'making-Spike-forget-spell', find another way to make me remember. It wouldn't be real if I don't remember."
Buffy had sat down, listening patiently to Spike's speech,
"What wouldn't be real..?"
"Well, us, shagging."
"Do I detect a conscious in Spike's head?"
"Well, could be the chip talking y'know."
"Look at us talking, all serious and stuff.."
Buffy said, and Spike just laughed, nervous.
"Well - where to did you threw my coat, I gotta get going, rehearsal in 10 minutes."
Buffy sighed and gave him that look again,
"Spike.."
"What? Oh right...no bloody band. Gotta get me a band then, this is.."
Buffy grinned,
"..extremely awkward for you?"
she finished his sentence.
"Yeah- well. Be seein' you, pet,"
he stood up, and made his exit.
Suddenly Buffy realized she didn't want him to go, "Spike, wait..!", but he had already disappeared. Not entirely though, he watched her from behind a tree, outside.
* * *
Spike isn't that skeptical as he at first appeared to be. For someone who has forgotten his feelings for a woman, he's still got it bad. One wouldn't be pondering about such a thing if every shread of feeling towards the Slayer had disappeared. It's apparent that deep down inside his non-beating heart he knows there is something.
Still watching her from behind the safe, big tree, as his mind had wandered off. Thinking.
'Can't believe it, just can't bloody believe it. The Slayer?!'
Spike shook his head.
"Spike! Just the person I was..not looking for."
Spike jumped up, quite startled, holding his hand against his..heart.
"Gah!"
he took a deep breath, relieved that it was only..
"Xander, almost gave me a bloody heart attack."
"Yeah..imagine it might, stop beating."
Xander looked around, looking for anything that might explain Spike's mysterious presence. He got the message when he saw Buffy standing in front of the window. Xander nodded.
"Ah..Buffy huh...She won't let you in? What did you do this time?"
Spike didn't answer, as his mind had wandered off to Buffy again.
When he finally snapped out of it he looked concerned. He didn't want to ask, well, actually he did. He just had to know.
"Xander, did Buffy and I, have a thing..?"
he asked, almost reluctant.
"What? Are you kiddin' me? A 'thing'?! You're a couple of get-a-roomies!"
Spike raised his eyebrow,
"Get-a-roomies? Just give me a bloody answer in non-Xander-slang."
Spike folded his arms, waiting,
"Today, Xander."
"Sorry, what?"
"Sodding daft person, do we or do we not have a thing?!"
"What us? Nah, I'm not into that sorta thing, sorry pal."
"I mean, me and Buffy, you bloody moron."
"Oh, that. I'm pretty sure you d..-- hey, did you just call me a moron?!"
Spike grabbed him by his sweater and lifted him up in the air.
"You've got 4 choices, North, East, West or..-"
"South?"
Xander squealed while pointing down.
"Please, put me down."
"Well, okay, yeah, you and Buffy have a thing. But why ask me? Aren't you supposed to know that yourself. Some boyfriend you are."
Xander moped, as he straigtened his shirt.
"Well, that bloody Brit and the wiccan red-headed tree screw up some sodding spell."
"Hey..!"
Xander got defensive.
"Willow isn't a tree. Well, actually, a willow is a tree, but Willow, she isn't a tree."
Spike was loosing his temper, and started to yell at Xander.
"Xander, could you shut up for one sodding minute! I'm trying to have a conversation here, and you're just going on and on about how Willows are and aren't trees ! Have you not noticed how this was a cry for help! Bloody hell, I am asking you for help! Doesn't that show how bloody desperate I am!"
In the meanwhile Buffy had heard all the noise, and rushed outside, watching the circus.
Attempting to calm Spike down Xander placed his hand on Spike's shoulder.
"Spike, if you'd just stop shou -"
"Don't bloody tell me to calm down! I'm a victim, of a spell that's gone wrong! And apparantly vaporized my memory of having a thing with Buffy here! And obviously you are too bloody occupied with figuring out the essence of trees, to notice the pain I'm in!"
Buffy stepped forward, with folded arms.
"Are you quite done, Spike?"
Immediately Spike stopped shouting, and looked up, and hanged an arm over Xander's shoulders, pretentious chilling.
" 'ey there, Slayer" he grinned, "Yeah, me and Xander here were practicing...erm, some of the, erm..- how long have you been standing there?"
Buffy repeats some of Spike's words..: "..obviously you are too bloody occupied with figuring out the essence of trees, to notice the pain I'm in!"
and shrugs meaningful afterwards.
"Ah, well, right then,"
he let's go of Xander, who inches with 'disgust' written all over his face.
"I'd say bloody long enough."
Willow join's the club
"Hey, Xander. Did you succeed at finding Anya yet?"
Xander sighed, and shook his head.
Spike remembered that he saw Anya earlier tonight, when he dropped by asking if she had seen his band by any chance.
"Did you check the bloody Magic Shop? She works there you know."
Xander gave him a look,
"Why would I check there? It's way after closing time."
Spike rolls his eyes.
"Did it ever occur to that brain of yours, that she might be working late, counting her precious pennies? Always look for your woman at her working place. That's what I always do, I can always find Buffy patrolling at the cemetary, for a shag or -"
"Spike, PLEASE! Do not violate my mind like that!" Xander exclaimed repulsed.
Spike turns to Xander, and for a moment he considers to dignify that, but decides against it when realizing he remembered their ocasional cemetary-shags, and turns to Buffy, leaving Xander facing the back of Spike's head.
" 'ey, Slayer.."
But Buffy was far from paying attention, she just stared at Spike.
She pressed herself against him, letting her hands slide over his torso, she lifts her head and grins.
"I really think you look extremely sexy in all that leather.."
Spike gives her that cocky half-smile, the way that he does,
"Well, can't say that I blame you, pet."
Everyone had gotten back inside. Thinking of how to break the spell.
Xander jumped up, having one of his brilliant ideas,
"Oh! I know! Why don't the 2 of you get a room and get it on?"
"Yes, why don't we try that, Slayer?" Spike scoffs,
secretly he wouldn't mind it that much.
Then Giles suddenly mingled in the conversation,
"That didn't work out too well, did it? Spike screamed his lungs out at Buffy's attempt. We could hear it all the way outside.Well, he was actually more pleading for his life. Quite the amusing sight, before we went outside, of course."
"Giles, that's enough."
ordered Buffy,
"May I remind you that this is because of your doing? Why don't you undo it already."
"Yes, bloody undo it!"
agreed Spike as he stood up.
And then he completely lost it, throwing out all the bottled up feelings of the last, 2 hours.
"Because it's killing me! Knowing that I can have her, but not knowing that I had her! And on top of it, right now it bloody disgusts me of having her, a Slayer for crying out loud! God! All these mixed feelings! And even worse, I found myself wandering through bloody Sunnydale, looking for my non-existing band! What the bleeding hell does it take for you to sodding fix it!"
Furious Spike ran out of the house, leaving 3 stunned people and a majorly pissed off Slayer. They could still hear Spike's raged shouting,
"What the hell is wrong with these people!"
Buffy stood up, ready to go after him, but not before giving her friends a lecture;
"When I come back I want this to be fixed, hell, I don't even want to come back for that! You know what I want? I'm going after him, spend the night with him, and then I want to wake up next to a fully functional Vampire! Don't ever, ever, put a spell on any of my boyfriends again! If I don't like the way they are, I won't date them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a room to storm out of!"
* * *
When Buffy rushed outside, looking ahead to catch a glimpse of Spike, she suddenly tripped and fell, flat on her stomach. With a grunt she hits the ground, and was much too disturbed to get up right away. Buffy just gazed over the ground, confused, thinking to herself;
'I never trip over stuff, I never loose guard.. not unless I'm... Oh my God, I have a crush on Spike..'
All of a sudden the ground below her started moving. 'Great, earthquake, just what I needed' thought Buffy. She quickly jumped up when she heard someone moaning.
She obviously tripped over Spike, who was lying on the pavement, gaining consciousness.
"Hey...you're not an earthquaky."
"Well, ain't that a bloody kick in the head. 'Course I'm not a sodding earthquake."
"I tripped over you, now what's your excuse?"
Spike slowly stood up, stroking his hand through his hair, and straightening his coat.
"Well.."
Spike paused and shrugged.
"I tripped."
Buffy gives him a look and folds her arms as she walked a little closer to him.
"You tripped..? What, over the doorstep? That's pretty lame."
"Sure, rub it in! 'Spike's incapable of liftin' his feet over the sodding doorstep'!"
"Well, I wouldn't exactly put it that way, since you've already done that."
"Enough with the taunting, pet."
There was something in his voice, he sounded almost like the old Spike. He sounded...sincerely sweet and tender. Which he apparently was.
He reached his hand to her face, actually, the hair in front of her face. He brushed it gently behind her ear.
"You shouldn't be hidin' such a pretty face, y'know."
Buffy did nothing but smile. Thinking to herself that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if the spell couldn't be broken. Maybe he'd fall in love with her again.
Promptly Spike withdrew his hand, as if he suddenly realized it was wrong to touch a Slayer, with him being vampy guy and all.
Buffy sensed the uncomfortableness of Spike, and asked him what was wrong.
The only answer he could think of was,
"Us, this.."
The both of them went silent, and looked at each other for a while. Buffy was numbed, what was she supposed to say to this?
As Spike got nervous, he started making attempts to leave, and then walked back to her with the intention of saying something, but not knowing what.
Then she caught Spike staring at her.
"What are you looking at?"
Buffy asked as Spike imagined sinking his teeth in her neck. Not in a brutal manner, but passionately, like making love. In other words, he craved and longed for her.
To touch her, smell her, taste her, to know her.
"I want you-yoghurt, yes, I want, yoghurt!"
Spike attempted to safe face, with a very, very odd diversion.
"Huh...What..?"
Buffy replied with a disgusted face, when she visualizes Spike eating yoghurt. Until she realized he was staring at her neck, and quickly covered her neck with her hand. But in the end she didn't see the point of that, thinking that Spike couldn't hurt a human anyway. Not that he'd hurt her if he could, she'd kick his ass, after that chip fried his brain.
She lowered her hand and shrugged.
Spike sighed.
"Oh, come on, I wasn't thinkin' of bitin' you! Can't. Even if I cou..could..-"
Spike stopped talking when Buffy approached him to wrap her hands around his neck, looking him in the eyes.
"What in the whole wide world, do you want most right now..?"
Again, Spike looked at her neck.
"Besides..blood, Spike."
"No, don't want blood.. I want..you,"
For a moment they looked deep in each other's eyes, both expecting and wanting a passionate kiss. But neither of them made an attempt.
She then laid his head against her chest, and held him close to her for a bit.
Buffy took his hand and started dragging him with her,
"Come on, schizophrenic loverboy, I'll walk you home.."
"..-crypt."
On the way to Spike's crypt they barely said a word. They just held hands and, walked. When they reached his crypt, Spike turned to her.
"Buffy.."
Before she could say anything, he had his arms around her and sealed her lips with the most passionate kiss. She didn't resist, not at all.
They tumbled their way inside his crypt, neither of them had the intention of stopping this and soon their clothes were found all over the place.
That night they consummated their relationship. It didn't matter Spike was brainwashed by the awry spell, it felt the same. His love hadn't been vaporized, it had merely been tucked away somewhere where it was hard to be found.
When Spike had fallen asleep, Buffy was still wide awake. Not kept awake by worries, but love.
Softly she whispered,
"I love you, Spike.."
She said it even before she realized it. Soon after that she fell asleep, and a satisfied smile appeared on the face of our sleeping, yet aware, Spike.
Next morning when Buffy woke up Spike wasn't lying next to her, when she just wanted to get out of bed, Spike jumped up from behind the bed.
"Sodding..- Hey luv, did't realize you were awake yet."
"What..are you doing?"
"Well gah, checkin' for monsters under my bed of course. Hey, could you 'elp me look for my b -"
Buffy looked at him, " - your band?"
"Band? I don't have a bloody band, woman. Not feeling a hundred percent? I'm looking for my boots. What'd you do, tore them to pieces along with my shirt? Can't find those bloody bastards anywhere."
Buffy couldn't help but smile, everything was back to normal again. At last. All it took to break the spell were the words Spike ever so longed for to hear; that she loved him.
"Hand me my clothes honey, and I'll help you look."
Spike smiled meaningful,
"After you 'elped me look for your clothes, pet," he jumped on the bed with her, to wrap his arms around her and for some kissage.