Twobit's attempt at getting a girl... This is a song fic for the song, "The Girl All the Bad Guys Want" by 'Bowling for Soup'

"I've got a date." Soda says. Everyone seems to have plans tonight. Even Ponyboy's going to some girl's house to study.

"Doesn't anyone want to go to the movies or somethin'?" I ask. I'm not sure why I try with these guys. It goes against the unwritten rule to break off a date so you and your friends can go to the movies, so I'm not surprised when they all get up and leave.

"Fine," I yell out at them, "I'll just go pick up a girl of my own!"

"8 0'clock Monday night and I'm waitin' To finally meet a girl who's little cooler than me Her name is Lola she's a rocker with a nose-ring She's wear's a 2-wig but I'm not quite sure what that means."

Buck's place isn't real crowded tonight. I scan the room for Lola, letting my eyes skip over the large groups of girls and into the large groups of guys, where she's sure to be. "Lookin' for that girl again, huh?" Buck says, smirking a little between sips of beer.

"Naw," I lie. "I'm lookin' for the beer."

Buck points me in the general direction of the kitchen. I'm trying to decide between beer and vodka when I spot her. She's with some guy laughing at every word he says. God that makes me sick. She glances over and grins when she notices me. I smile back as I walk towards her, never letting my eyes off of her.

"When she walks, all the wind blows and the angels sing. She doesn't notice me. She's watchin' wrestlin' Creamin' over tough guys Listenin' to rap metal turn tables in her eyes."

"Hey, Lola, honey. How's it going?" The guy she was talking to stops in mid sentence and glares at me. Lola's earlier grin is gone and now she's glaring at me and you'd think I were Satan. Guess I interrupted something. "It's goin', it's goin'." She says, with annoyance. Suddenly, Sandy runs up with Soda on her arm. "Lola, come on...we're leavin' and we're your only ride home."

The guy with Lola shakes his head. "She's not goin' anywhere. I'll take her home later." It suddenly occurs to him that he never asked Lola about his plans for her. She nods in agreement, though. Soda and Sandy leave, and Lola and her guy get lost in the crowd. Great, now I'll have to find another excuse to talk to her.

"It's like a bad movie, She's lookin' through me If you were me than you'd be Screamin' someone shot me As I fail miserably tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want."

It occurs to me that Steve and Soda were going to the same place tonight. And that only Soda is leaving. That means Steve must be around here somewhere with Evie, no doubt. I begin my search for Steve, but find Dallas first. I'm surprised that he's alone, just sitting and drinking beer. "Hey, Dally!" I say. He looks at me and nods a little. "Hey, Twobit. Watcha doin' here?"

We start talking a little. Dallas laughs slightly when I mention Lola. "Twobit, uh, hate to break it to you, but Lola, well, she's not your type. I mean, you can try, but..." He stops and shakes his head in a sarcastic emphasis.

"She likes the godsmack and I like the Cajun Orange Her CD changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad She said she'd like to score a reefer and a forty She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never get."

"When she walks all the wind blows and the angels sing She'll never notice me She's watchin' wrestlin' Creamin' over tough guys Listenin' to rap metal turn tables in her eyes She likes 'em with a mustache Race track season pass Drivin' in a Trans Am Does a mullet make a man? It's like a bad movie she's lookin' through me If you were me than you'd be screamin' someone shot me As I fail miserably tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want."

"I can deal, Dally. No girl is too much for Two-bit!" Dally's starting to get drunk. He laughs loudly. "Says the guy without a date!" he says. He does have a point... "Nonsense, she's just waiting," I pound my chest, "for a piece of this."

Dallas points at someone in the distance and says, "I can see that."

I look where he's pointing. At Lola with that guy. They're crouched in a corner, making out like crazy.

"There she goes again with fishnets on and dreadlocks in her hair She broke my heart I wanna be sedated All I wanted was to see her naked..."

I decide to get one of Buck's shot-glasses, fill it with the strongest alcohol in the place and drink it one-gulp right in front of Lola and her new boy-friend. Maybe I can pick up a pretty girl along the way. Isn't that the golden rule of getting' girls, to make them jealous of one another? This should be simple. There's a blonde right over there.

"Hey, sweetheart, come here a minute." The girl looks at me like I'm crazy. "Twobit? That you? Very funny. Be glad Steve is getting us something to drink, or else he'd be all over you for hittin' on me, even if you were just kidding."

Evie. Damn. "Yeah, Evie, but I could take him for sure!"

Every girl in this place is with someone. So I go to plan B, just to get the shot-glass and try to impress her.

I do that three times, but she's not even noticing I'm alive. Too "busy."

"Now I'm watching wrestling Trying to be a tough guy Listening to rap metal Turn tables in my eyes I can't grow a mustache And I ain't got no season pass All I've got's a Moped."

"Twobit, you drunk? You want me to take you home? Or to the Curtis'?" Steve is there, trying to talk to me. I think of what's going on. Lola's making out like mad and I'm trying to get her to notice me. I nod at Steve. "Yeah, sure, you'd better."

"It's like a bad movie She's lookin' through me If you were me than you'd be Screamin' someone shot me As I fail miserably Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A/N- Sorry, I know I need to update Secrets. I'm caught up in the Bible section of this site trying to figure out this thing we call faith. I like this song a whole lot, for some odd reason. Read and tell me what you think!