Just Remember

Please note: In these early sections, William refers to Grell with masculine terminology. This is not meant to be disrespectful of Grell and will also transition as the story progresses. I thought I was done with Grelliam, but this one pulled me back in for one more trip.

Chapter 1:

The building was dark with shadows hanging from the corners like forgotten secrets as an overwhelming silence choked the air. An old man, who had no proper home, had chosen this foreboding place to die. Perhaps he had been attempting to escape the stares of the world that had so cruelly isolated him, but even here his progress had been thoroughly observed. In this dark, dank place, his final struggles were watched carefully by a set of gold-green eyes that missed nothing. Even though this was his first mission without a senior reaper present, William T. Spears had already developed quite the work ethic.

"I wish the old geezer would just kick off already," announced an annoyed voice to his right, "This place stinks. Why is all of the living world so filthy?"

William glanced over at Grell. The aforementioned reaper was running a hand through his scarlet hair, which William noted had grown since graduation. "We have a job to do," he said, "Also, it has not been that long since we were a part of this world ourselves." Since they were still both rookies, it was true that they had been human themselves up until rather recently by reaper standards.

Grell offered William one of his sharp toothed smiles before walking over and leaning his head on the taller man's shoulder. "Perhaps," he relented, "but we escaped and became something more."

"I'm not positive about becoming something more," William said in a quiet tone, although he was fairly certain that Grell wasn't paying attention as another sound, soft yet unmistakable, filled the space. The man had finally taken his final breath.

"Finally," Grell said, "Come on, darling. Let's get this over with."

"I'm not your darling," William replied automatically. Grell had been saying things like that ever since their final, but William still wasn't sure what it all meant. One minute Grell had been ready to kill him, and the next he was announcing his love. At first, William had thought Grell had acted that way simply to confuse him, but the more time he spent around the vivacious redhead, the more he found himself wondering if there was any truth to what Grell proclaimed.

"Not yet," Grell said in a cocky tone. He laughed lightly before turning and rushing headfirst into the unknown.

Still unsure of what all this meant, William adjusted his glasses and followed. The man whose records they had been sent to collect was lying in darkened room near the back of the complex, but William had been so focused on simply doing the job, he didn't smell the demon until it was almost too late. Apparently, neither had Grell.

Grell was ahead, but as he rounded the corner, a dirty man with stringy hair leapt from the shadows. His rotten teeth were bared in a gruesome grimace as the smell and sweat and vomit clung to his nearly skeletal form, but the smell of demon was even stronger. A blade flashed in the light as the demon that was within him gave the man inhuman speed. If not for his own superhuman speed, Grell's face would have slashed by the blade, but he jumped out of the way so that only a long lock of hair was cut. Seeing the look upon Grell's face, William couldn't think that cutting the hair that Grell was trying so carefully to grow was probably more dangerous. The hair in question floated down almost serenely to the dusty floor where the vibrant strands seemed to glow despite the darkness.

Cursing loudly, Grell swung his scythe around and was ready to stab the man cleanly, but William quickly grabbed hold of his arm and shook his head.

"We can't interfere," he said.

"But my hair," Grell whined.

"You know we can't do anything for a human that lets themselves come under a demon's control," William stated, "and we definitely can't kill someone who's not on the list." Turning, he stared at the man and realized the demon would not be long with this one for his health was declining rapidly. "Of course, reaper code 662-65371A clearly states that any human who interferes with the official business of a reaper for any reason can be detained and subsequently terminated if deemed necessary by the reaper in question."

The possessed man stared at the two, and William knew that his strategy was working. Demons that had no physical forms of their own and had to resort to temporarily using the bodies of others were some of the weakest of their kind, and this one seemed to realize that taking on two reapers, even if they were green, was probably suicide at best. What it didn't realize was the code that William had rattled off were for human directly involved in matters that could render a soul unsalvageable. Even if he was threatening them, if he or Grell actually killed this man, they would be punished. After several minutes of staring, the man turned and retreated. His form melted into the shadows as if he had become part of the darkness itself.

"You were so forceful, Will," Grell cooed, leaning closer to him. His hands slid up the shaft of William's scythe until they were resting gently on his fingers. "You know how to make a girl's heart melt."

That was something else that William didn't understand. Grell had stated recently that, despite his physical body, he was female, and this made no sense to William. He had at first thought that it was just another play for attention, but Grell wasn't backing down on his assertion despite a fair amount of ridicule. Now, William was started to wonder if there was something to what Grell said, although he was admittedly still confused. "We need to get to work," William said in lieu of his internal dialogue.

"Of course, darling," Grell said, before turning and bouncing into the room as lightly as a child skipping towards a freshly wrapped presents.

"I'm not your darling," returned William, but Grell wasn't listening. Adjusting his glasses, he started to follow, but his gaze was drawn back down to the dusty floor. Almost without thinking, he retrieved those long strands of hair that were as vibrant as fresh blood and stuffed them into his pocket.

((x))

Time had no real meaning to a reaper. There was talk of overtime and hours, but everything was measured by what had to be done currently and in the near future. It seemed pointless to look beyond that since their sentences could stretch for all of eternity, but the passing of days and weeks suddenly gained new meaning for William. He had realized, little by little, that he was falling for Grell. It wasn't all at once. He didn't simply wake up one morning and jump from the bed shouting, "I love Grell!" It was little things he noticed, such as collecting Grell's cut strands of hair, that made him realize his feelings were changing. He still didn't understand Grell, and the chaos that surrounded the red reaper even frightened him a little, but it was utterly pointless to deny the way he felt. As much as he complained, a part of him liked when Grell invaded his personal space and he got a whiff of a new perfume. It smelled faintly of vanilla and roses, and William now associated both scents with Grell. Even when he managed to keep his face as blank as a wall of stone, his heart thundered in his chest and threatened to shatter that mask. Somehow, he would have to work the courage up to talk to Grell about the situation.

Each day the opportunity arose, but William just couldn't seem to find the words. He practiced exactly what he was going to say by looking into a mirror, but even his reflection didn't seem impressed. It appeared that he was simply going to have to take a chance, even though he had never been much of a risk taker. Finally, he decided he had waited long enough and he marched straight to Grell's desk only to discover that the redhead had momentarily stepped away. Hoping not to look suspicious, he stepped over to a nearby water cooler and poured himself a cup of water. Hovering nearby and sipping at the cold water, he waited for Grell to return. As he stood, two older reapers came over to get their own water, and William couldn't help but hear their conversation.

"I know why I'm so unhappy now," a tall man with shaggily cut brown hair said.

"Why's that?" his companion asked. Unlike his friend he was a short, slightly stocky man with closely trimmed dark hair.

"It's because this is all a punishment," answered the first man, as we waved his arm to indicate the office, "If we're having fun, then we're not being punished. If we're not punished, we can't be redeemed."

"So, you're saying we have to be miserable? I guess that makes sense, but it sounds harsh."

"Punishments are supposed to be harsh," replied his friend, "So, I'm not happy, but I'll take some solace in that. Besides, what is worth more; being unhappy now or not finding redemption and finding out exactly what happens to reapers that are never redeemed?"

William's hand reflexively crushed the tiny, paper cup in his hand, which was thankfully empty by this point, as the weight of the man's words began to sink in. None of them truly knew what happens to those reapers that didn't find redemption just as no one was sure what happened to the ones who failed the academy. Did they simply disappear or would they be sent on to Hell? Somehow, not knowing precisely made the whole situation worse.

"Why hello, Will," a familiar voice said close to his ear so that the hot breath of the speaker tickled his lobe, "Were you lonely without my company and decided to pay me a visit?"

"Of course not," William sputtered, not even daring to turn and look at Grell directly. "I was simply thirsty. Excuse me." He shoved past Grell and hurried down the hall to the restrooms, although he had no desire to use the facilities. Despite the water he had drank, his throat and body felt dangerously dry.

Stepping inside, he saw that he was alone, so he walked slowly over to the mirrors. He had never seen so much confusion and uncertainty on his face, and he couldn't help but wonder if what he had heard the other two reapers talking about was true. Being a reaper was a sentence and a punishment, and punishments were unpleasant. Perhaps being happy was enough to prevent someone from redemption.

Perhaps loving Grell was enough to damn them both.

The thought made him jump and, as he looked into his own eyes, he made a firm decision. He couldn't take the chance. While he could love Grell in his heart, he could never display his emotions openly. He had to push Grell away, even though it would hurt both of them. He could take the pain in his heart a million times over rather than think that his actions could lead to a horrible fate for someone he had grown to care about so deeply.

With his mind made up, he washed his hands as if physically washing away the entire matter, and stepped outside the bathroom. It had always been whispered that he had been a bit cool before, but now he moved with an iciness that seemed to drop the temperature in the room. A few others even looked up as he walked past and moved steadily to his desk, but no one said a single word.

It was as if he had been reborn a second time, but this new William was even colder and stronger than before. He had no need for foolishness or the fickleness of emotion. Instead, he would be the ideal worker that thought of nothing but his task at hand.

As he walked back to his own desk, however, he paused for one brief moment to look across the room at Grell, who was now sitting at his desk, and a tiny part of his heart that hadn't turned to stone ached.

How cruel it was to finally learn to love only to have distance his own heart. Perhaps this was his true punishment after.

((x))

Their endless sentences stretched forward, and William found himself being promoted to supervisor. Most everyone agreed he was undoubtedly qualified even if he was now regarded with having all the personality of a houseplant. Only Grell seemed truly happy for him, even though William could now use his new position to place an even larger wedge between them. After all, everyone knew it would be inappropriate for a supervisor to have a relationship with any of his subordinates. It was be a gross misuse of power, no matter how willing the subordinate. He began to be rougher with Grell, to push him away more forcefully and reject him more cruelly. It stabbed at his heart each time, but William tried to tell himself it was all for the best. At some point, Grell should have moved on and found someone else to love. Even with the unsavory and frankly undeserved rumors floating about concerning the red reaper, there were still some that were obviously interested in the fiery redhead, but Grell had never wavered in his affections. William wondered at his tenacity.

His feelings about Grell was actually not on the forefront of his mind that day as he walked down the hall towards the conference room. There had been a sudden rise in demon sightings, and a few of his newest agents had been hurt quite badly in an unprovoked attack. There were already horribly short staffed, and the newest batch of recruits were not even close to being ready to go into the field. Earlier that day, he had gotten a report from Upper Management, which is why he had called this emergency meeting. The agents wouldn't be happy with this news, but he allowed only a minute part of his annoyance to show as he walked into the room.

Conversations ceased as soon as he appeared, except for Grell's rather animated conversation. He was actually seated on top of the table, his crimson hair spilling onto the polished surface, as he laughed loudly. Ronald nudged Grell and pointed towards the door, but Grell only turned slightly and eyed William almost casually with a rather satisfied smile painted on his face. Without rush or apology, the redhead slid off the table and took his seat while everyone watched rather nervously.

With no more commotions to attend to, William strode to the front of the room and adjusted his glasses as he allowed his gaze to drift from one face to the next. "I've heard from Upper Management," he began, in lieu of a proper introduction, "and informed them of the increased incidents in demonic activity. So far, it appears to be mostly limited to our branch. However, I have been instructed to take specific actions. From this point forward until further specified, at least two reapers will be assigned to every case. This will have no bearing or change on our workload."

A mumbled rippled through the room, but only Ronald bravely raised his hand. "Uh, what does that mean about our work hours?" he asked.

"As both agents will have the same number of assignments as when they were working alone," William began, "it means that our schedules will be increased comparatively."

Ronald groaned. "But when will I have time to go on dates?"

William readjusted his glasses even though there was no actual need. "Your issues concerning matters outside of this office is not my concern, Knox. You will have to arrange any social activities so that there is no interference with your work. Understood?"

There was some grumbles and nods to indicate that, while no one was happy with the news, they understood that they were to follow the new guidelines. "Very well then," William stated, "Everyone is to return to your desks as your new assignments will be arranged accordingly. Until then, I'm sure everyone has paperwork that needs attention."

Slowly, the reapers got up and began to file out of the room, but Grell hung around behind with the same strange smile on his face. He waited until everyone had left before approaching William directly. "Oh, Will," he purred, "I love when you are heartless and cold like that."

"Do you have a question, Sutcliff, or are you just annoying me when you should be working?"

Grell stuck out his bottom lip in a fake pout. "I was just curious if you'll be working in the field too since we're so dreadfully low on agents right now."

"There are no plans for me to do so at the moment," William answered. Thinking that this conversation was over, William turned and started towards the door.

"That's too bad," continued Grell, "because I'd be happy to volunteer to be your partner." He stepped forward and ghosted his fingers over William's arm as he spoke. "We might even find an abandoned asylum."

William stopped as if he had been struck as his mind filled with images. Him. Grell. The dusty, abandoned room with rubble and silence as their only companions. The first tentative touches followed by hungry kisses. William took a sudden deep breath as she shoved the memories back into the locked, desolate corner of his mind. "Get to work, Sutcliff," he growled as he stomped from the room without even glancing back.

He was still shaking slightly as he returned to his own office, and the memories were threatening to spill out of him. Grell had been sworn to secrecy as to what had happened between them on that particular assignment, and he had never spoken a word about it since. William knew that he certainly hadn't told anyone because such a story would have been all over dispatch in mere seconds, but this wasn't what William needed to be focused on right now. His own problems would have to wait as he dealt with the demon issue first. His own problems always have to wait. Thankful to be entering the solitude and safety of his own office, he opened the door and quickly stepped inside.

Immediately, he learned that he wasn't alone.

A tall man was standing to the left of his desk staring out the large window that dominated the far wall. Since William's secretary had not told him that someone was waiting for him, this man had to create a portal to his office, which meant he could only be from Upper Management. William felt his mouth go dry, but he calmly shut the door behind him.

"May I help you, sir?" he asked.

The man turned around, and William saw he had rather plain features. He had a darker complexion than William, and his own black hair was thinning slightly in the front. Smiling slightly, as if it was an expression that didn't come easily to him. "Hello, Mr. Spears," the man greeted, "I'm Elias Rutherford. It is a pleasure to meet you." He extended his hand.

William walked over with what he hoped was a confident stride and shook the offered hand. "Likewise, Mr. Rutherford," William said, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Elias's smile grew, but it didn't reach his two-toned eyes that were nearly hidden by his thick-framed glasses. "Upper Management has learned that demons have been converging in the ruins of an old church within your precinct," he replied, "and it has been decided for you to investigate this matter. You are to do anything that's necessary, even if it contradicts your own moral guidelines." He produced a large envelope that had been hidden inside his jacket and handed it to William. "This will tell you everything that is required of you."

William opened the envelope and scanned the contents quickly, but immediately saw a problem. "Upper Management can't be serious. Are we really so desperate to resort to such acts?" he asked.

"We are, sadly," Elias replied, "If the information we've gathered from our spy network is correct, then we are facing a most dire situation, Mr. Spears. It is a time for all of us to put aside our own feelings so that we may protect the higher good." He stood up straighter and looked down at William slightly. "We all have to do what we must."

William nodded, although he was far from happy with the situation. "According to this report," he said, "there is a rumor that the library is also a target. Should the defenses around the library be increased?"

"We've already put up a holy barrier," answered Elias, "although I doubt there was a need. It's not like demons can simply waltz into our realm. Just in case, you might want to put someone in the library to guard it. That way, we will have all our bases covered."

"I will do that, Mr. Rutherford."

With a quick nod of his head, Elias walked swiftly to the door. "Remember, Mr. Spears," he said, "Sometimes we have to do things we prefer not to for the greater good." With those words of supposed wisdom, he walked out and hurried towards the elevators.

William returned the documents to the folder as he preferred not to think of the task at hand, but he realized that it wasn't something that he could put off for very long. Growing more annoyed by the second, he started to leave his office so he could get this unpleasant task over with, but he bumped into Grell as soon as he stepped past his door.

"What are you doing here, Sutcliff?" demanded William.

"I just came by to give you this paperwork, darling," Grell answered, holding up the aforementioned documents. "I'm completely caught up, dear. Aren't you thrilled?"

"Surprised is a more accurate description," stated William, "Go ahead and place them in my box so that I may review your reports later. I have to step out for the moment."

"Oh, you're going somewhere? Let me come with you! I haven't gotten any assignments yet."

"No!" William said, a bit more sharply than he had intended, but he couldn't allow Grell to know where he was going. He cleared his throat as he regained his composure. "Actually, I have an assignment for you, so you will not be able to accompany me. There has been some reports of demons possibly targeting the library. You are to stand guard there, starting now, until you are relieved by another agent later tonight."

"The library? But that's so boring, darling," Grell said, leaning closer, "I'd rather go with you."

"This is an important task," William continued, as if he had heard Grell's plea, "Try not to botch it up as you usually do."

"I do not usually botch things up!" Grell exclaimed, a bit of wildfire alighting in the green forest of his eyes. "I'll do this boring assignment, but you'll owe me, darling." Turning around, Grell walked away with an exaggerated swish of his hips.

"I'm not your darling," William said automatically, but those words no longer held any meaning. He watched as Grell walked away, completely unaware this could very well be the last time he'd see Grell as he was now.