AN: Okay, this is another fic that Sekara and I wrote together. The other is on her account under the title Dilemma. Anyways. We don't own Digimon. Please review when you're done.
Hm. Colors. Well really one color with dark areas, and that's able to flow from your body. Red. Dark red... kinda feels good...sorta. I never knew...blood could be so comforting. Especially when it's your own flowing... no cascading from you wrist... I feel dizzy... Is it just me or is the room spinning? ... It's me.
"Ken, are you okay?" the lavender haired girl asks concerned.
Where am I? ... Oh. I'm here again. Dang hospital. Why do they always do that? Don't they know hovering is rude?!
"I can't believe you would do that. After all you've been through to change." Yolei's eyes tear as she says it.
You'd slit your wrists too if your mom and brother were dead... plus ... an abusive father. That doesn't help at all. But I can't say that to her, not out loud. She doesn't know about...everything. All she knows is that I was the Digimon Emperor and... I was the Digimon Emperor. That's as much as she knows. And I don't want her to know anything else. But, what do I say to her now? I can't say I'm sorry, because I'm not and I don't want to lie anymore. Not anymore than I have to. I can't answer her and tell her that I'm fine. Because... Well... I am so not all right. In fact, I've never been this screwed up in my life! Well...maybe twice.
"Ken! If something wrong...at home, maybe... I'm worried, can't you see that!? We're all worried. This time and last time! But what do you do? You do this! You drag yourself so low; without a chance to get back!"
Help. Hmm, I think I've tried that once... Nope... Hmm...
"I mean look at you! Urgh! I hate watching you destroy yourself. You're too good for that. What if it had worked? What would your dad think?"
My dad would either (1.) laugh in joyous hysteria, or (2.) actually go into a deep depression. Doubt it.
"What would your friends think?"
Friends? ...What friends?
"Whether you like to admit it or not, you have friends."
Did she read my mind? Maybe I did overstep my boundaries. Maybe people do care. I think Yolei has changed me. Her lecture has motivated my heart. ... Not!
"Did you really want to leave me?"
Crap. She got me... Wait! What's she trying to imply? Uh... Oh shoot! Something at the back of my mind is telling me to talk. Deny what she's saying. Change the subject. Say something!
"Where is my dad?" I whisper, trying to sound as weak as possible. Judging from the horrified look in Yolei's eyes, I'm thinking it worked.
"He's just outside," she stammers, heading to the door. He's here?! Crap! Yolei steps outside and my dad steps in. His eyes are large and red and glassy. It looks like he's been crying. Yeah right. He's probably been drinking in celebration. or wait, maybe he was crying. After all, I didn't die.
"Uh... Hi."
"Shut up, boy! You hear me? Shut up!"
"Yes sir." Crap! Not again. Doesn't he know that he is why I'm here?
"I can't believe you would even think about pulling a stunt like that! You...!"
As Mr. Ichijouji pulls his hand to send a blow into Ken's face, Yolei peeks her head in. Mr. Ichijouji sighs and gives Ken and evil glare before leaving. When the door shuts Yolei's eyes widen.
"Was he about to do what I think he was about to do? Ken... I had no idea it was that bad. Why didn't you ask for help? Why didn't you mention that?"
"Because if I did he would beat the crap out of me." gasp "Did I say that out loud?"
"Don't play games, Ken. I'm gonna help."
"No... Please don't... I wouldn't want to lose...wouldn't want to get you in trouble with him..." Everything I think is coming out. I never knew I had feelings for someone. It's a new revelation. God, I hope I didn't say that out loud.
"What could he do?" Yolei demanded. "He can't hurt me. I'm not his kid. In fact, he can't do this to you. He-"
"He isn't really doing anything, Yolei," I interrupt, smiling as lightly as I can. "He just gets upset sometimes. It wasn't him that made me...do this."
"Then what was it?" She actually looks like she believes me. At least a little. Good. One good lie and I can get her to leave me alone. But what? What would she believe -? Oh, I know!
"You."
"Huh?"
"You. You and Davis and Cody and all the rest of you. Hell, everyone in Japan helped out! All I am to you is either the ex-Digimon Emperor-" I can't allow my voice to crack. I just hate saying that name out loud "-or a genius and soccer star. That is no way to live!" Well, it's half true. Yolei looks shocked.
"Ken, clam down..."
I can hear my voice rising, along with my body. Am I standing up? Yes. Uh... "Why should I calm down? Why, Yolei? Tell me why! I don't owe the world anything and if I want to actually tell someone, then by god I will."
Why am I moving backwards? There's a breeze at my back. Is that a window? What the heck am I doing?
"Ken, get away from the window. Your scaring me."
Wow. She really looks worried. How high am I? Wow. That's along way down.
A smile spreads across Ken's face.
"Why should I get away! Don't you want me gone? I was the Digimon Emperor. I killed so many innocent things..." By this point Yolei is tapping her foot and crossing her arms.
"If you think I had believed that lie for a second you're delusional. Now get down."
"No. I don't want to." How did I get in this situation. ... The window is open and I'm half way out.
"Please, Ken, don't... You're really scaring me. Stop playing around."
"Who said I was playing?" Dang I'm being cruel. I hope I'm not hurting her too much... I had to open my big mouth.
Yolei drops to her knees and starts crying. "Urgh! Darn you, Ken! You son of a gun!"
No. I'm a son of an abusive father.
"Go ahead, Ken. Jump. I don't care. You're right. Do it. I dare you!"
Umm... Maybe I shouldn't.
"Oh no. Don't you back down now. You were half way there and now you decide to change your mind and listen?"
"I'm sorry."
"What, I couldn't hear you. You're brave enough to slit your wrists and partially get out a window! I sure as hell should think you can speak up!"
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me..."
Yolei nods. "I bet you didn't. Now please get away from that window."
I start to climb back in, but something she'd said suddenly registers in my mind. 'Go ahead, Ken. Jump. I don't care. You're right. Do it. I don't care.' Oh lord! I finally have control of my body again, but I'm still halfway out the window. I want to believe that she was just saying that to get my attention, but I've never known Yolie to say something she didn't mean.
"Ken?"
As I've said, I'm in full control of my body. And my body is leaning backwards. The window frame slips past. Then the rest of the building. Then my life.
"Ken!"
Oh look. There's the street.
"You stupid idiot! I didn't mean it!"
Crap. I should have listened to my first instinct. This is gonna hurt. Yep.
Fini
AN: I say again, mate: Please review. Please. begging Please???
