So...I spent about half of my weekend writing this and I can't help but think I should've been more productive in getting things done around my place. I mean, I did laundry and I moved some furniture...so I think that counts as being productive. Right? Anyways, this is the first time I've had true inspiration in months and I really wanted to get it all written out. The idea came to me after listening to my new favorite song, Hold My Hand by Jess Glynne (if you haven't listened to it...you should...but after you read my story ;) lol). Anyways, it's a little bit different than how I normally write my stories so I hope guys enjoy it.
Also, holy shit...that season premiere. I replayed the ending about a million times. What made the scene so amazing was that the acting was so freaking on point. Amazing job by Jesse and Monica. On a side note, can we talk about Jesse's arms?
Hold My Hand
Standing in a crowded room and I can't see your face,
Put your arms around me, tell me everything's ok.
In my mind, I'm running around a cold and empty space
Just put your arms around me, tell me everything's ok.
"Let's go," Matt insisted, removing the towel from Gabby's hand and discarding it on the table she'd been in the process of cleaning. Taking her hand in his, he led her towards the bar. He gave Otis and Herrmann a nod, "you guys don't mind if Dawson cuts out early, do you?"
Though they hadn't heard what was said between the former couple, they'd witnessed the affectionate exchange between the two of them and neither of the other two co-owners of Molly's attempted to disagree with Matt.
"No, not at all," Otis assured.
Gabby stopped just long enough to grab her purse from behind the bar and caught Herrmann's knowing smile before turning and reclaiming Matt's outreached hand.
Otis threw up a quick wave, "have a good night! Be safe!"
"Ah, I think it's too late for that," Herrmann muttered.
"What do you mean?" Otis asked in confusion.
Outside, Gabby and Matt walked in silence towards Gabby's car.
Upon reaching their destination, Gabby turned and looked up at Matt. "You haven't said much," she whispered, taking a step back and leaning up against the driver's side door. She smiled when Matt took a step forward and reached for her hands.
"When did you…when did…" Matt was still in a state of shock that he couldn't even form a complete sentence and shook his head in slight embarrassment. "I mean, I know when…" he chuckled, "not a day goes by that I don't think about that night…"
Gabby felt her cheeks warming at his admission and ducked her head away from the light shining from the street lamp above that would be sure to call her out on her embarrassment.
"…But when did you find out?" Matt whispered, placing his hand under her chin and bringing her head back up so he could meet her eyes. Her eyes were rimmed with tears and he silently hoped they were happy tears. "How long have you known?"
Gabby took a deep breath, she didn't want to remind Matt of the night he was trying to so hard to cope with. Holding his gaze, she managed a small smile, "The night that…that you…" she shook her head, "at the club. I went to your apartment to tell you and that's where..."
Matt nodded, understanding what she was referring to. He frowned, a thought occurring to him as he thought back to their shift yesterday. "When you came into my office? You tried to tell me, didn't you?"
"Yeah…"
"I knew something was going on when you had called me Matt instead of Casey…" he shook his head, angry that he hadn't prodded her farther into talking to him. "If I would've shut up and let you tell me then you never would've been in that house when the roof caved in-"
"Don't!" Gabby reached up and took his face in her hands, giving him no choice but to keep her gaze. "Don't do that! We are not going to play that game. No 'what ifs', ok? Because let me tell you, I've played that game enough for the both of us over the past couple of days. What if you'd been hurt in the club? What if you'd been kill…" she choked up, unable to even say the word out loud. "What if I had to raise this baby on my own? I can't do anymore 'what ifs', Matt. I just can't!"
"Ok, ok…" he nodded, "no more 'what ifs'…just, what now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Back inside…when I said that being with you is the only thing that makes sense, I meant it. I mean it."
Gabby nodded, "I know you do." She sighed and dropped her gaze to the off-white buttons that adorned the top of his shirt. "But I also know that there are still things we need to talk about…I love you and I can't imagine my life without you but I never, ever want to end up where we were when I ended things last need to be able to communicate with one another. No matter what our titles are at work." She sighed, "now that I'll be running into fires anytime soon. But my point is, you can't shut me out, Matt."
"I know, I know. I just wish I would've come to my senses before it was too late." He shook his head as he tried to resist the anger he still held towards himself and his choice not to go after her that night she left. "I know I said it before but I'm really sorry about everything that happened…the all nighter with Kelly that left us at some woman's house…and hooking up with…"
"—It's fine," Gabby insisted, not wanting to think about it. "You were free to do what you wanted and you did. I'm the one that walked out on you so you certainly don't owe me an explanation."
"Yeah, but…I'm still sorry." In his mind, he did owe her an explanation.
"I know you are. Just," she sighed, "the next time you get so frustrated with me that you feel the need to drink, please do it at home and not somewhere where there are a whole bunch of sluts on the prowl."
Matt couldn't help but grin at the sass that outlined her tone, "I promise. But I don't plan on ever letting things get so bad that I need to drink my problems away. I want to be able to communicate with you, no matter how tense things get between us."
Gabby smiled, "good." She cleared her throat and pushed a few curls behind her ear, "I uh...I have an appointment tomorrow morning…"
"Oh?" Matt wanted to ask if he could come but he wasn't blind, he could see the hesitation in Gabby's eyes.
"Yeah, I figured I should make it official," she joked. "Make sure everything's ok…" she looked up and met his eyes, "it's at ten if you want to come with me…"
Matt's posture perked up and he grinned, "definitely! I'll pick you up and then maybe we can go for breakfast afterwards?"
She smiled, "Sounds like a plan."
"Yeah…like a date," Matt quipped, searching Gabby's eyes for a reaction at his choice of words. The brief flash of uncertainty gave him all the more motivation to make sure he could prove to Gabby that he would do anything to make sure their relationship found its way back on the right track.
Matt checked his watch for what seemed like tenth time since pulling up outside the apartment Gabby was currently sharing with Brett.
That was another thing he wanted to talk to her about…but right now his concern was making it to her appointment on time and he wasn't sure that was going to happen. They'd agreed that he would pick her up at nine fifteen, giving them enough time to get to the hospital and fill out the necessary paperwork before the appointment started. Though it was only nine twenty, Matt couldn't help but worry. He'd sent a text to Gabby letting her know he was here and it he'd yet to get a response. For as long as he'd known her, if she was even going to be a minute late, she would always let him know. Sighing, he killed the engine and jumped out of his truck.
The door to the apartment was opening before he even reached the top step, his stomach dropped when he realized it was just Brett. He gave her a quick smile, "hey."
Brett returned his smile. "I was wondering how long it would take you to decide to come up here." Stepping aside, she let him in and motioned down the hall. "She's finishing getting ready in the bathroom." She shut door and turned her attention back to Matt, "she's had a rough morning." Brett smiled at the confused look on Matt's face. "It's ok, I know. Congratulations, by the way."
Matt relaxed a bit and smiled, "thanks." Worry quickly settled on his face as Brett's words registered with him. "You said she's had a rough morning? Is she ok?"
"Morning sickness," Brett explained. "Come on," she motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. "This should help, though." She grabbed the to-go mug from the counter and handed it to him. "It's tea," she explained, noticing the confused look on his face. "My sister swore by it when she was pregnant."
Matt took the mug and nodded, "thanks." Both of their attentions turned towards the hallway when they heard the bathroom door open up.
With her shoes in one hand and her phone in the other, Gabby walked into the kitchen, not surprised to see Matt. "Hey," she greeted, managing a small smile as she took a seat at the kitchen table to put her shoes on. "I just got out of the shower otherwise I would've responded to your text." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as her stomach once again started to turn. "This morning sickness thing is a bitch," she mumbled.
"You alright?" Matt asked, moving so he was in front of her and holding the tea out in front of her. "Here, I'll switch you." He took her shoes from her hand and replaced them with the mug of tea. He gave her a reassuring smile when she opened her eyes and looked at him on confusion. "Apparently Brett's sister swears by the stuff." Not even bothering to ask her, Matt started to put her shoes on.
"Matt," she groaned, "I can still put my shoes on."
"It's fine," he insisted, lacing one of the shoes up, "you drink up and I'll do this. We don't want to be late to your appointment."
Taking a timid sip from the mug, Gabby swallowed the contents and relaxed her shoulders as she realized it didn't taste as terrible as she thought it would. She looked up at Brett and gave her an appreciative smile, "thanks. If this works, I'll be asking for the recipe."
Brett smiled and uncrossed her arms, "I've already copied it for you." She pointed to the refrigerator where the bright green piece of paper was being held up by a Molly's magnet. "I've got to get going, I'm meeting Chili for a run but let me know how everything goes, ok?"
Gabby nodded, "I will."
"Good." She slipped her phone in the back pocket of her jogging pants and grabbed her keys and purse from the table. She sent the soon to be parents a smirk as she had towards the door, "ok mom and dad…I hope the appointment goes well."
Despite the late start, they'd still made it to the hospital with time to spare. After checking in, Matt followed Gabby back into the waiting room and took a seat next to her as she immediately started filling out the paperwork the receptionist had handed her. He couldn't help but notice the slight tremble in her hand as she started in the top left of the form and worked her way through the questions. He frowned when her hand suddenly paused and he leaned in to read the question.
Marital Status.
With a quick flick of her wrist, she hurriedly checked the box that said single before moving to the next question. Matt's stomach turned at her answer and he moved his eyes away from the form and leaned back in his seat. His head met the wall behind him and he tilted it up and closed his eyes. This was not the status he'd imagined his relationship with Gabby to be in as they embarked on the journey of starting a family.
In true doctor's office fashion, the doctors were running behind the appointments were running late. It was nearly ten thirty by the time a nurse walked out and called Gabby's name.
"Gabriela Dawson?"
Lost in his own thoughts, Matt didn't even hear Gabby's name being called. It wasn't until he felt the sudden movement next to him did he open his eyes. He met Gabby's worried brown eyes as she stood in front of him. "You can stay out here if you want…"
Matt shook his head and jumped up from his seat, "no…I want to come with you." Gabby smiled at him before turning around and leading the way towards the nurse that had called her name.
"Are you Gabriela Dawson?" She asked, reaching for the clipboard of paperwork.
Gabby nodded and handed the clipboard over to her, "yeah, sorry." She was surprised when the nurse had smiled and told her not to worry about it. She threw a nervous glance over her shoulder at Matt before turning and following the nurse back towards the exam room.
It was relatively silent as the nurse moved fluidly around the room taking the different vital numbers from Gabby that she needed to note. Gabby was surprised to see she'd already put on a few pounds and she couldn't help but wonder how far along she truly was. Considering her and Matt had only been together once since breaking up, she knew exactly when she'd gotten pregnant but the simple math was currently escaping her.
"Blood pressure is good," the nurse noted, removing the band from Gabby's arm. "Dr. Gibson will be in here as soon as she can but in the meantime, go ahead and change into this gown." She handed Gabby the folded paper gown and gave her a small smile.
Gabby nodded, "thank you."
The nurse left, shutting the door behind her and leaving the former couple alone in a room that wouldn't let them forget the reason they were there. Matt stuffed his hands into his pockets as he glued his eyes on a very detailed poster outlining each week of pregnancy that hung up on the wall in the far side of the exam room.
"Matt?"
His eyes immediately shifted over to Gabby and he frowned at the look of trepidation that had settled on her features. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head, "nothing. I just…" she hopped down from the table and waved the folded gown that was in her hands. "I need to change…"
"Oh!" He nodded, embarrassed, "right…right." He headed towards the door, "I'll leave."
"You don't have to," Gabby hurried to say, wanting to stop him before he reached the door. Her words were successful and he turned around, a look of surprise on his face. "You can stay…just…just, uh, turn around?"
Matt nodded, "yeah, sure."
A strange silence settled in the room, the only sound coming from Gabby's movements as she changed out of her clothes and put on the less than flattering gown. Discarding her clothes in a chair by the exam table, Gabby settled back on the table and kept one hand behind her back as she held the gown together. Her eyes moved to Matt's form, true to his word, he had stayed turned away from her and kept his head staring straight ahead. "Ok."
Matt turned around but before he could say anything, Dr. Gibson came hurrying in. "Sorry for the delay. We seem to be running a bit behind today." She smiled at Gabby and grabbed the notes the nurse had left behind. "Considering I saw you in February for your annual check-up, I can assume that this isn't just a regular check-up?"
Gabby nodded and managed a tight smile, "I uh…I took a home pregnancy test…" she shrugged, "three to be exact and according to all three of them, I'm pregnant." Her eyes met Matt's as he stood back, towards the door, looking every bit of uncomfortable as she was sure he felt.
Dr. Gibson followed Gabby's gaze and she smiled at the all blonde man as he shifted nervously on his feet. "That seems to be the favorite spot for soon-to-be dads to settle in." She motioned for him to move towards the bed and stand over by Gabby. "Come on over here and join Gabby." Dr. Gibson returned her attention back to Gabby. "So what was it that made you consider the possibility that you could be pregnant."
Gabby smiled at Matt when he met her at her side reached for his hand, she was beginning to think he was more nervous than her. "Well I've been trying to remember when my last period was. I mean, I know exactly when the baby was conceived but as cliché as it sounds…it was when I walked by a jar of pickles and I felt the urge to vomit did the realization hit me."
"You'd be surprised, sudden food aversions is actually the first sign that a lot of women recognize as a possibility that they might be pregnant. You get busy, stressed and you miss your period without even realizing it." She gave Gabby a reassuring smile, "no reason to feel embarrassed."
"Hey," Matt took Gabby's hands and tugged her towards him. He pressed his lips to hers and pulled back, dropping his eyes to meet her worried eyes. "Relax, it will go fine."
He was referring to the dinner they were having with her parents where they would be breaking the news of her unexpected pregnancy. It had been exactly a month since the doctor's appointment that had confirmed her pregnancy and considering Gabby had to abruptly transfer out of Fifty-One, it was no secret among their friends and coworkers that she was pregnant. When she'd told her brother the news after snapping at him once again, she'd begged him not to tell their parents and he had agreed, only after she'd promised to tell them the next time they were in town.
Gabby shook her head and huffed, "you don't understand…my parents are pretty traditional. They firmly believe in the whole first comes marriage then comes baby thing."
"Yes but I think their excitement about becoming grandparents again will overshadow that."
"You think so?"
Matt shrugged, "I hope so."
"Ugh," she groaned, "you're not helping, Matt."
When they arrived at the restaurant, Matt could see Gabby's parents were already there and seated outside. Climbing out of his truck, he hurried around the front of it and opened the passenger side door for Gabby. By the look on her face, he was sure she'd noticed her parents sitting outside too. "It' going to be fine," Matt whispered as took her hand and helped her out of his truck. Once she was on her feet, he went to drop her hand but was surprised when she tightened her grip and refused to let go.
"Don't let go," she begged.
Matt nodded and instead gave her hand a comforting squeeze. He dropped his head so his mouth hovered above her ear. "Never," he whispered before placing a quick kiss on her cheek.
Darling, hold my hand
Oh, won't you hold my hand?
Cause I don't wanna walk on my own anymore
Won't you understand? Cause I don't wanna walk alone
It had been nearly a month since Gabby had found out she was pregnant and with her parents back in town for Chicago's Independence Day celebrations, her brother had dutifully reminded her that she had promised to tell them the next time they were around. At almost fifteen weeks, she was sporting a small bump that was easily concealed with the loose fitting navy blue summer dress she had on.
With Matt leading the way, the expectant parents made their way towards her parents.
Matt took Gabby's hand and led her up the steps and onto the front porch of the house where they met the real estate agent.
"Matt Casey?" The tall guy asked, holding his hand out. "I'm Jermaine Walker, it's a pleasure to meet you." After dropping Matt's hand, he turned and extended his hand to Gabby. "And you must be Gabriela Casey?"
Gabby didn't even bother to correct Jermaine and instead gave him a small nod. "It's nice to meet you."
Matt nodded, his grin growing a little once he realized Gabby wasn't going to correct Jermaine. "Yeah, I really appreciate you agreeing to meet us this morning. Both of us have got crazy work schedules and this was the best time we could come up with."
Jermaine shook his head, "not a problem. When Chris mentioned he knew a great couple who was interested, trust me, I was just as excited as you guys were to find a time to meet."
Gabby frowned, it almost sounded like no one wanted the place. Her excitement was soon starting to settle. "How long has this place been on the market?"
"It went into foreclosure a couple of months ago but from my understanding it's been empty for nearly a year," Jermaine explained as he pulled the key from his jacket pocket and inserted it into the doorknob. "If you look past the cosmetic work that needs to be done, it's really quite a find."
When Matt had brought up the topic of moving back in together a little over a month ago, Gabby had happily agreed….on one condition.
They found a new place.
Not that she was blaming their previous place, but since they'd moved in there, not a single good thing had happened. They'd missed out on their first Christmas in their new place, what would have been their first anniversary. No, if they were going to start over, they needed to start fresh in a new home.
Not to mention, the place wasn't exactly kid friendly. There was no front yard and with Severide taking up the only other bedroom…they were without a place for a nursery.
During shift a couple of days ago, Matt had brought up the topic with Herrmann who had been quick to inform him of a house a couple of streets over from his place that had gone into foreclosure. With four bedrooms, three bathrooms and half-finished basement Matt couldn't help but jump at the opportunity to check it out once Herrmann had told him of the asking price. According to Herrmann, it was a hidden gem. Once a rental, it had been empty for a little over a year as the owner had lost financial resources to keep up with it. It needed a little work and a lot of love, but Herrmann had insisted it was perfect for them.
Pushing open the front door, Jermaine stepped aside and motioned for the couple to go before him. "Go ahead."
Kicking his boots off, Matt slipped out of his jacket and gingerly climbed into bed, not wanting to startle Gabby. Settling on his side right behind her, he draped an arm around her and found her hand that rested on top of her stomach.
"Morning, sleepyhead," Matt whispered into Gabby's pile of hair, he buried his head just far enough to find her neck and trailed kisses over to her shoulder. He felt her shift in his arms as a content sigh fell from her lips. He smiled and stretched his head around to get a look at her face. Her eyes remained closed but the small smile that played on her lips let him know that she wasn't in a deep sleep. He kissed her lips and felt her smile grow, "somebody's awfully sleepy."
"Your child kept me up half the night," she murmured.
Matt frowned, "oh?" Instinctively, his hand went to Gabby's stomach and he waited for the movements of their unborn child. The movements of their son were steady and Matt's worries eased a little bit. "Did you get sick?" It didn't happen very often but there were still times when the nausea would randomly hit Gabby at full force but she would always recover quickly and get back to whatever she was doing. Now that she was a few weeks into her third trimester, Matt wasn't sure what to expect.
"No," she murmured. "I had dinner with Antonio last night…"
"Oh," Matt suddenly understood. "Spicy food?" He grimaced, just thinking about some of the spicy food the Dawson siblings managed to consume as if it were no big deal.
"Mhm…it was seriously heartburn from hell," she whined. "And I'm not so sure the little guy appreciated it."
"You know, I took one of your books to work to read during downtime and it mentioned something about heartburn being a possible sign of the baby having a full head of hair." He ran his fingers through her messy curls, "and with your hair, I wouldn't be surprised if it were true."
Though he loved her hair however she wore it, he especially loved when it when she kept it in its natural state of curls.
Gabby open her eyes and turned her head just enough to meet Matt's eyes as he rested his chin against her shoulder. "You took one of my pregnancy books to work?"
"Yeah…" with her voice still thick with sleep, he couldn't quite read her tone. "Was that ok?"
"Of course." Groaning, she shifted out of Matt's arms and rolled onto her back. She smiled up at him as his face hovered above hers. "I think it's cute."
Matt raised a brow, "cute?"
"Yeah. Not a lot of guys would carry a pregnancy book into a testosterone filled environment like Fifty-One."
"Well, you know…" he tilted his chin up in pride, "the guys no better than to disrespect their lieutenant."
"You threatened them with drills, didn't you?"
"Oh, definitely."
Gabby laughed, her eyes dancing in amusement. "I wouldn't expect anything less."
"Well with you on leave, I've got to make sure somebody keeps them in their place," he joked. He kissed her lips, "so what's the plan for today?"
"Well, it is Halloween…"
"So we'll be staying home and passing out candy to trick-or-treaters?"
"You might be but I'll be serving drinks at Molly's."
As soon as she'd started her third trimester, she was told that she could no longer go out into the field and investigate possible arsons and after a few weeks strictly on desk duty, she'd went ahead and started her maternity leave.
Matt sighed and tilted his head, "Gabby…"
"Don't start, Matt. I spend most of my days doing absolutely nothing and I really look forward to working at Molly's. Besides, it's only going to be for a few hours."
"But we all know how rough the Halloween crowd can be and I don't want you over-exerting yourself." It was a subject that came up more and more the farther Gabby got in her pregnancy. It wasn't that Matt wanted the pregnancy to slow Gabby down but he was aware of the toll it was taking on the amount of energy she managed to maintain throughout the day. He'd also noticed the mornings after she worked a shift at Molly's, she usually slept in and woke up grumpy.
"It'll be fine," she assured him. "Besides, I have to be there…I'm one of the judges for the costume contest."
"Right…the costume contest." Despite the amount of talk that had taken place over the past week at Fifty-One in regards to Molly's Annual Halloween Costume Contest, Matt had forgotten all about it. He sighed, "well, you probably need someone to consult in regards to the finer details of the construction of the costumes…"
Gabby grinned, perking back up as Matt decided not to argue with her. "Oh, no doubt. We all know the shortcuts that some people take in putting together their costumes." Her stomach growled, startling Matt and she laughed.
"Someone's hungry," he quipped as his hand moved across her stomach waiting for his son to kick in agreement.
"You're going to get him wound up, Matt." Gabby stretched her arms out above her head and smiled, "I keep having this image in my head of when he's older and running through the house to greet you by the front door as you walk in after work."
As excited as her words made him, he frowned, "you make it sound like you won't be by my side when I walk through the front door. I thought you were planning on returning to the firehouse as soon as possible."
Gabby shrugged, "I don't know. Working in arson…it's grown on me. There's something gratifying about being able to get justice." She dropped her eyes from Matt's, "like with Shay…"
Matt jumped from his desk and discarded his pen, no longer concerned about the stack of paperwork in front of him. "Hey!" He met Gabby by the door and pulled her into his embrace, capturing her lips with his. "What are you doing here?"
"I missed you this morning," Gabby mumbled against Matt's lips.
Matt smiled and pulled back to look at her, "you were sound asleep by the time I had to leave…I know you haven't been sleeping well so I didn't want to wake you. "
Gabby nodded and slowly made her way over to Matt's bunk and lowered herself to the mattress. "I know, I'm not upset," she insisted. "I just finished lunch with Antonio so I convinced him to swing by here so I could see you." She took a breath and pressed her hand against the side of her stomach, the aches were constant and she had no doubt it would stay that way until she had the baby.
"You ok?" Matt asked, settling next to her and placing his hand beside hers.
Gabby took another deep breath and slowly exhaled. "Yeah. Just the usual aches and pains." She massaged her stomach, trying to ease the dull ache that had settled as soon as she'd gotten herself out of bed a couple of hours ago.
"Well, only a few more weeks and until we finally get to meet our little guy."
Four more weeks to be exact.
"And those four weeks can't go by quick enough."
"He'll be here before you know it." There was a knock on his office door and Matt groaned, his guys knew better than to disturb him when Gabby was visiting unless it was absolutely necessary. "Yeah," he called out.
The door cracked open and Antonio poked his head through, he gave the couple a sheepish look. "Sorry to interrupt but Diego and Eva will be out of school soon. I don't want to be late picking them up." This would be Antonio's first weekend with his kids in over a month.
Gabby nodded and took a breath, "ok." With Matt's assistance, she stood up.
"Hold on," Matt said, reaching for his coat that was draped across the back of his chair. "I'll walk you guys out."
"Lieutenant!" Otis called out as he watched the three of them leave Matt's office. "What happened to not disturbing you when you're in your office with Dawson?"
Cruz tried to conceal a chuckle, "dude! Dawson's brother drove her here, you really think the lieutenant would be bold enough to be getting it on with Dawson in his office knowing her big brother was right outside?"
Matt rolled his eyes as he slipped into his coat, "don't you guys have something to be cleaning? The showers are starting to look a little dirty."
"That's the candidate's job," said Otis.
"Well my job is to tell you two what your job is and right now I'm telling you guys to go clean the showers." Matt pointed his finger back and forth between the two troublemakers. "So, you two…get to scrubbing."
"Looks like we know which parent will be the bad cop," Antonio muttered under his breath as the three of them continued on through the firehouse.
Gabby scoffed, "are you kidding me? Matt's an absolute softie when it comes to kids. This baby will immediately have Matt wrapped around his tiny finger."
Antonio smirked, "on second thought, you have always been the mean one, Gabs."
"Shut up, Antonio," Gabby mumbled but unable to hold back a smile as she gave her big brother a slight nudge in the side.
"See! I rest my case!"
Matt just shook his head, laughing off the antics between the siblings. Making it to the passenger side of Antonio's SUV, they stopped walking. "Are you sure I can trust you two to get along for the rest of the day?" Matt joked as he moved closer to Gabby and slipped an arm around her, pulling her towards him and shielding her from the harsh Chicago wind.
"I think we'll manage," Antonio quipped as he moved around to the driver's side, "I'll give you two lovebirds a few minutes." He motioned to his watch and gave his sister a knowing look, "but Gabs…"
"Yeah, yeah…I heard you the first time Antonio." Giving her brother one last look as he climbed into the SUV and shut the door, Gabby turned her attention back to Matt and winced as the wind smacked her in the face. "Try and call me later if you can?"
"Absolutely." Matt rubbed his hands up and down Gabby's arms. "Same goes for you, ok?" He kissed her. "Now get in the car before you freeze your tiny little butt off."
Gabby rolled her eyes, "my butt is anything but tiny but I do appreciate the lie."
"But it's not a lie," Matt insisted as he pulled open the door and helped Gabby get in. "I love you," he called before shutting the door and heading back into the firehouse.
Recovering from another contraction, Gabby fell back against the stack of pillows behind her and tried to even out her breathing. Throwing an arm over her eyes, she tried to remind herself that she was still in the beginning stages of labor and Matt would make it before it was actually time to deliver the baby.
She'd felt contractions off and on most of the day but it wasn't until a little after ten when she was lying in bed wide awake did she realize they'd become regular. She'd attempted to call Matt but with no answer, she'd assumed he was probably on a call—something that had made her panic even more. With her parents still in the Dominican, Gabby was nearly in tears when she called her brother.
So lost in her own thoughts, she hadn't heard the door to her room open up and was completely startled when she heard his voice.
"Gabby?"
She dropped her arm from her eyes and instantly met his eyes. The tears she'd been holding in started to fall, "Matt!"
"Hey, hey…" he leaned down so his face was just inches from her's and cradled her face in his hands. "It's ok, I'm here." He kissed her lips before pulling back and searching her eyes. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm ok," she mumbled. She took a breath, "remember how I said I wanted to do this without any drugs?"
Matt couldn't help but smile, he knew exactly where she was going with this. Throughout Gabby's entire pregnancy, almost every woman she knew that had experienced childbirth had suggested she take whatever drugs the hospital would be providing. But with every suggestion, Gabby would quickly shake her head and tell them she didn't want anything. Matt didn't dare voice his doubt but instead, just told her he would support whatever decision she made. "Yeah."
"I changed my mind," she admitted sheepishly. "It really hurts, I….oh!" Squeezing her eyes shut she gripped both sides of her bed and cried out in agony as she battled through another contraction. "I'm sorry," she cried as soon as the contraction subsided and she again found Matt's eyes. "I can't!"
"Babe," Matt soothed, trying to calm Gabby down. "I'm fine with whatever you want to do. You're the one that's actually delivering this baby."
Unfortunately for Gabby, her labor had progressed so quickly that she was past the point of being able to have an epidural.
"You're doing great Gabby," Dr. Gibson assured her patient. "Just a few more pushes and you'll get to meet your little guy so I need you to focus, ok?"
Despite her exhaustion, Gabby nodded and continued to push as hard as she could with each contraction that hit.
"You got it, you got it! I see the head, keep pushing," Dr. Gibson encouraged.
"Matt!" Gabby cried as she pushed their joined hands into the side of her bed.
"I'm right here…right here," Using his free hand, he reached out and brushed the sweaty clumps of hair from her face. "You're doing amazing, Gabby. You've got this."
Gabby cried in agony as another contraction took over. They were coming so quick she barely had time to catch her breath in between.
I'm ready for this, there's no denying
I'm ready for this, you stop me falling
I'm ready for this, I need you all in
I'm ready for this, so darling, hold my hand
The next few minutes went by in a complete blur for Gabby and it wasn't until one of the nurses was placing the tiny little being into her arms did she realize what was going on. "Oh my god," she whispered, smiling through the tears as she stared in awe down at her son. She laughed and looked up to meet Matt's own watery eyes. "We did it!"
Matt shook his head, his grin so wide his face was starting to hurt. "No, you did it."
After being cleaned up and getting checked over, both Gabby and baby were given the go ahead to be transferred out of the delivery room. After being set up in their new room, the medical personnel left the new family of three alone.
With their baby boy sleeping comfortably in Matt's arms, Gabby could feel herself falling into a much needed slumber but refused to allow herself to fall asleep.
"Gabby, it's fine…I can only imagine how exhausted you are."
But Gabby shook her head, "not until we have a name."
Matt nodded and settled on the edge of her bed, lowering the sleeping newborn to Gabby's level. "Any ideas?"
Gabby reached out caressed the side of her son's face, she'd spent the past week really trying out different names but nothing had really stood out to her.
"On shift the other day, I was scrolling through that baby name app I'd installed on my phone and I was looking through names and there was one name that stood out." Gabby looked back up at Matt, silently waiting for him to continue. "Ethan," he paused, trying to read her reaction before continuing, "it means strong. Well, that's what the app said but when I looked it up online another definition was strong and enduring. But either way, I think it defines how our relationship has grown over the past several months. And yeah, while I know that we were in the process of finding our way back to each other before you got pregnant…in my mind, this pregnancy made us stronger."
Matt's words and the love that he held in his gaze put her at a loss of words. She struggled to keep her tears at bay and come up with something coherent.
"I mean…" Matt shrugged, taking her silence as disapproval. "It's just a suggestion. If you don't like it…"
"I love it," she interrupted. She looked back down at their son and whispered, "Ethan Casey. Definitely has bit of a ring to it. But we still need a middle name." She leaned her head against her pillow and looked back up at Matt, "you seem to be pretty good at this naming thing. Any other names you've got up your sleeve?"
"Jude," Matt whispered. "It was Andy's middle name. Ethan Jude Casey."
Gabby smiled, "perfect." She reached for Matt's hand, "everything is perfect."
I'm ready for this, so darling, hold my hand.
Review? Good? Bad?
P.S. Hopefully I'll have chapter thirty of How Will I Know up by the end of the week. :)