Disclaimer: Koyasu's not mine
Kumon: The plot for this story was thought up by prissygirl
Kekkon: whispers So flame her not us :P
Farfie takes over the world
Do you want to know how Farfie took over the world? Well, it all started on a dull Tuesday morning…
"What evil deed should I do today?" Farfarello pondered as he lounged on his iridescent sofa munching on cheese balls. "Kill the milk man? Nope, done that. Fill Crawford's shoes with liquid Velveeta® cheese? Done that too. Grrrr!" The cheese balls flew across the room in a lovely arch. "There must be something evil I haven't done yet!" The infamous German hare came to mind. "Ah ha! I'll ask Schuldig!" And away he went.
The said Schu-bunny was just sorting though his collection of por…adult material when Farfarello dashed in. "Schuldig, I'm out of ideas. What evil deed haven't I done?" The German bunny shrugged, "You haven't killed Jessica Simpson yet." Far scratched his head. "Why do you want me to? Is it an evil deed?"
Schu-bunny laid a comforting paw on his shoulder. "My poor ignorant Irishman, if you kill Jessica Simpson then I could take her place as the most powerful guy…uh, girl in the world." The Irishman's head tilted. "Where would that leave me?" "Oh, I'd use my unrivaled supremacy to make you the second most powerful person in the world." Farfarello still seemed hesitant. "AND, you can have all the cheese balls you want!" That did it. Far hoisted the Schu-bunny into his arms and kissed his little pink nose. "Really? Let's go!"
"She's in her dressing room," Schu stated mentally. "And she's alone." Farfarello tried not to be nervous; he had been planning how to kill her for hours, but who could blame him? This was the supreme mistress of the world. Schu grinned, "Ok Farfie, show time!" Farfarello slipped down the hallway and (somehow) got past all the tons security and through Jessica's steel plated doors. Jessica turned to him, "Oh, are you Spike our new backup guitarist?" Without answering, Farfarello lifted his overly huge battle axe and swung down. SPLUT! No more Jessica Simpson. Just then, Schu entered (hopped) into the room. "Mwahaha excellent! Now I am the supreme mistress of the world!"
Farfarello set down his now messy battle axe, "Now about my cheese balls…" Schu (now Jessica Simpson) cackled. "Cheese balls, I don't have to give you anything you commoner!" She raised her delicate paw, "Guards, take him away!" Four giant guards came in (from who knows where) and dragged the poor Irishman away. Jessica stroked her beautifully royal ears, "That dummy, thinking I'd ever do something I promised to do!"
Down in the dungeon, Farfarello whimpered. He was betrayed by his friends, lost his freedom, and had NO cheese balls. The Irishman's pitiful cries where heard by another. Farfarello looked up to see his overly melodramatic pet hippo Lilac crouched next to him. "Master," the purple hippo crooned, "what ever is it that makes you weep so?" He dried his eyes, "That (wo)man Schu, (s)he betrayed me and locked me in this prison." Lilac's eyes burned like hot coals of Hades, "Then I shall obtain retribution…"
Upstairs, Jessica was having the time of her life, "Weeee! Gimme another hic carrot daiquiri!", when she heard a knock at her door. "Who is it?" She hiccupped. "A meek commoner with a present for her highness." She grinned "hic I'm coming!" She opened the door, "Wha, a hip-" SQUISH! No more Jessica Simpson.
At that very moment Jessica's brokers came in, "Mss Simpson, your investment in Kleenex® has… What the-" They froze at the sight of the extremely vertically challenged Jessica long enough for Lilac to escape. "Oh no! What are we to do?" The first said clutching his head, "We have no supreme mistress!" "Don't worry," whispered the first, "There's a nice girl down in the dungeon, she can be the new Jessica Simpson." "Wait," said the first, "Isn't that one a gu…" "Shhh! No one has to know that!"
Back in down in the dungeon, Farfarello was angsting enough to make the Dramatic Precious Albums seem tame, when two brokers came in. "Hurry up your highness, your concert is in twenty minutes!" The Irishman frowned, "But I'm not…" he paused then stood up. "Oh, I'll be right there. Make sure my hot pink silk gown is ready."
And that was the beginning of the Irish (wo)man's glorious reign.