This was a gift for 15north (for an Office themed secret Santa exchange that went on over at LJ).

I haven't written much fiction since my Creative Writing days back in High School (let alone posted any online), so I feel pretty rusty. And C&C would be greatly appreciated.

Title taken from the Silent Hill Origins OST.

Hope you enjoy 15north, and Merry Christmas!

Standing in front of his desk in his swanky New York office, Ryan Howard had the sickening feeling his life had suddenly come full circle. And that was bad. Holy crap, was that ever bad.

Sighing, he circled around to his chair and sat down, running a hand through his hair. He reluctantly pulled out his Blackberry and checked the time. 10:36 AM. Seven hours and twenty four minutes until D-Day, he lamented to himself. He wasn't even sure how he had allowed himself to get into this mess in the first place.

Early last evening he had received a call, interrupting his dinner. Immediately he knew it was from Kelly. He hadn't bothered to remove her number from his contact list, let alone the stupid little song she programmed to go with it whenever she called. It was Pink. Or Beyonce, maybe. Fergie? Whatever, it didn't matter. It embarrassed him either way, but she had insisted on it and if there was one sure thing about Kelly, it was that she was stubborn. She knew what she wanted out of life and she did whatever was necessary to get it (even when that amounted to crying and begging, which it usually did). Secretly, Ryan had always sort of admired that in her, her chutzpah, if you will. So even after they broke up, he couldn't bring himself to erase it from his phone. There was something oddly endearing about it.

Besides, he never really expected to hear from her again. Sure, during the first few months after their breakup she had called him constantly, with that fierce determination of hers, trying desperately to win him back (he didn't admire her resolve so much at this point).

He started to ignore her calls, and she got the hint. And that was the last he had heard from her outside of work; (her "I'm pregnant" antics were another story entirely). That is, until now.

Taking another bite out of his microwave pizza (ah, the glamorous life of Dunder Mifflin's best and brightest), he debated with himself whether or not he should pick up. Deciding it could only end badly, he let it continue to ring, until the warbling voice of whatever female diva was belting out their latest craptastic hit fell silent. Turning the phone to "vibrate", he finished his dinner in peace.

Later on, Ryan found himself doing his best to unwind in front of the television. Lost was on, only sort-of holding his attention, but after a couple of beers he decided to call it an early night and turn in. It had been a long day and he was ready for it to be over. He found he was having more and more days like that. It was almost like he was back working in Scranton again. Pretty depressing, actually.

Suddenly something was vibrating against his thigh, and he fished his phone out of his pants to check the incoming number. Kelly. There was that persistence again.

Sighing, he answered, curiosity getting the better of him. "Kelly?" he offered warily. "Haven't heard from you in a while."

"I kind of got the impression that was what you wanted, Ryan." She sounded very restrained, unlike herself.

He ignored what he thought was obvious baiting. "Well, what do you need? Is this work related? Have you gotten more calls about Michael making inappropriate comments about his sex life to clients again?"

"Oh, no. Well, yes to the Michael thing, but that's not why I'm calling."

"He's going to get us slapped with a lawsuit one of these days," Ryan mumbled, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. "So what's going on?"

"Look. I was really afraid to call you; I didn't know how you'd take it." Her voice faltered and she fell silent, probably hoping for some sign of encouragement to go on, that Ryan was willing to hear her out. Ryan groaned inwardly. "What's up Kelly?"

She continued, voice a bit stronger now. "You remember Angela mentioning that she was a volunteer at Noah's Ark, the Scranton animal shelter?"

"No, not really."

"Oh. Well, she is. Anyway, today she mentioned that they were holding a charity dinner in honor of their 10th anniversary, and she said it was open to the public. I know how much you love dogs, well, at least you love Riley, and I thought maybe…." she trailed off again, nervousness palpable through the phone.

Ryan knew where this was going the minute she mentioned a dinner. Initially his first reaction would have been to end the call, throw the phone down and run away in utter terror, but thoughts of Riley were rapidly overtaking him. Riley, his beloved German Shepherd, who was currently living with some friends back in Scranton.

Ryan's promotion, as ecstatic as it had made him, was sudden, and if he were honest with himself, a bit unexpected. He had left a lot of people behind in the process. Family, friends, everyone at the Scranton branch. None of that mattered so much to him; they were only a few hours away, for those of them he cared enough to see again. He was upgrading, moving on to bigger and better things, everything he had worked hard for had finally paid off. It was going to be great, and he didn't have a single regret.

When he found out Riley wouldn't be allowed to move in with him to his new condominium, his heart broke.

Ryan wasn't necessarily a huge animal lover, but dogs always had a special place in his heart, and Riley was the best. Of course, after Michael's grill accident, every time he gave Riley a heartworm pill he couldn't help but envision his boss's nasty, burned foot.

Distasteful mental imagery aside, the dog was a good companion and Ryan was crushed to have to leave him behind. Thankfully some friends of his agreed to take Riley in, and Ryan went to go visit whenever he was in town. Kelly must have known bringing him up was a sure way to open his heart up, just a little. Just enough.

So maybe it was that, or perhaps it was a combination of the alcohol and exhaustion, but Ryan relented. He went to the place he swore he would never go again.

"Ok, Kelly." He was a sad, defeated man.

"Ok what?"

"Ok I'll go with you to the dinner."

His admission was met with loud squeals of delight. Grimacing, he held the phone away from his ear until she calmed down a little.

"Ryan, you will so not regret going, I swear, it will be totally awesome and we're going to have a great time. You're such a good person, to help out a good cause like this. Who knew, Ryan? Who knew?" She was talking a mile a minute. "Plus, since this isn't really a date or anything I'm sure Darryl won't mind."

Darryl! Ryan had completely forgotten about him. "Woah, woah. Wait a minute. That's right, you're dating Darryl now. What are you thinking? Are you trying to get me killed?"

Kelly was genuinely puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"Darryl could snap me in half just by looking at me, there's no way I'm going to risk pissing him off by taking you to a dinner. In fact, he'd probably be angry we're even having this conversation."

"No way, Darryl is a totally chill guy. He's not like you at all, he'll be cool with it, I promise."

That stung a little. "Not like me, huh? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm sorry Ryan, forget I said it. I'm just sooooo excited you agreed to come! This is going to be the best ever! Oh, did I tell you we'd be sitting with Angela and Andy?"

Oh God, please no. "No, you failed to mention that," Ryan forced through gritted teeth.

"Well, I assumed you'd kind of figure it out, since this is Angela's thing in the first place."

"Mm-hmmm."

" Plus, Andy is a really sweet guy. Well, besides the whole punching-a-hole-through-the-wall thing. Weird, but sweet. You, me, some friends from work, helping out needy animals…doesn't that sound like fun?"

"It sounds like a nightmare."

"Well, you already committed, and I just sent Angela a text and told her we'd be there."

"Wait….you and Angela text message each other? Since when? Kelly, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Angela hates you. She hates me. This is a terrible idea. I almost prefer the thought of your manipulative pregnancy dinner dates over this."

"Still sour about that, huh?"

Violently squeezing a nearby pillow, Ryan did his best not to imagine throttling her. Murder wouldn't look good on the resume he'd inevitably need after being fired for killing another employee. "No Kelly, I'm not still mad. In fact, I think it was hysterical. Ha ha," he deadpanned.

"Still unnecessarily sarcastic I see. You know, I really was hoping your new job would start to mellow you out a little, I mean you finally got what you wanted, right? Are you ever going to be happy?"

"Happy means different things to different people, Kelly. Not everyone has to run at the mouth all the time to prove something."

"That's not fair. I just…I was hoping you'd change, be more content. I still care about you, Ryan."

This conversation was treading dangerous ground. "Stop acting like we've been broken up forever. It's only been six months."

"Six months is a long time."

Ryan didn't even begin to digest what she was saying. He was tired and it hit a sore spot. He just couldn't deal with it at the moment. "Six months isn't that long, and people never change, for better or for worse. Working at Dunder Mifflin should have taught you that. Twenty years from now, Jim will still be slacking, Angela will still be scary, Michael will still be clueless, and probably jobless, and Dwight will still be insane."

He grew quite for a moment. Speaking of change, having an actual, meaningful conversation with Kelly was disconcerting. What was Darryl doing to her?

Kelly paused. "That's a shame, actually."

"You're telling me, Chatty Cathy," Ryan sank further into the couch. "I think I need I need another drink."

"Oh no you don't. You need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a big night."

"This is tomorrow?" Ryan rubbed his forehead.

" Sure is. I am so excited Ryan, this is going to be great! Pick me up at 5:30, ok? See you then!"

Before Ryan could protest, the line on the other end went silent and he was left to commiserate to himself for the rest of the evening.

And so that was that, and after a restless night of getting absolutely no sleep whatsoever, Ryan sat in his office, trying to decide how much medication he'd need to take beforehand to make it through the night without wanting to kill himself.

Leaning back in his chair, he pouted, sort of enjoying the self-pity he was allowing himself to indulge in. Part of him realized maybe he should try not to be such a jerk and to attempt to make the evening work. Sure, that was usually a difficult endeavor whenever Kelly was involved, but he hadn't always been Prince Charming either. Meh. She has her claws sunk in me deeper then I realized. I refuse to get sentimental over this…

Still….

Why had he agreed to go? He liked to think there were a lot of factors involved, but the most blatant and obvious one was nipping at his consciousness, and he refused to acknowledge it. It scared him like nothing else, the idea that when he let go of Kelly, he lost more then he bargained for.

He loved her at one point, he thought. Maybe. To be honest, he was never sure what it meant to be in love. He wasn't the type of guy to ever hear music, see stars and explosions, walk on clouds, so there was no meter for which to measure his affection, no way to gauge his feelings.

Perhaps it dawned on him when he would come home from work and throw himself down on his bed, exhausted and drained. She would come lie besides him, holding him close to her body, never saying a word. Just letting him wallow in the sad existence of what he was, a paper salesman who couldn't make a sale, and despite his self-loathing, she never judged, not once.

It was then he could close his eyes and sort of see this thing going on forever, the two of them together, a confused, hopeless, lovely mess, tangled in each others arms. If he squeezed his eyes really tight, sometimes he thought he saw a little baby lying between the two of them and sometimes, sometimes, it didn't make him want to run away.

But it would never be. Kelly would never be the business-minded woman he wished she was, and he could never learn to live with the person she actually was, no matter how much he missed her sometimes. People never change, he repeated to himself, a mantra he used to grasp the reality of the situation. People never change. Especially not me.