Need, a twilight fanfic

Hello all Twilight fans! My names Hayley, and this is my first try at writing a Twilight fanfiction. The song in this story is 'Need' by Hana Pestle. This story DOES NOT tie into the twilight series at all, meaning that this story is COMPLETELY AU… and it's all human…

Disclaimer- I own nothing… if I would, do you think I would be writing fanfiction about it???

Warning- INVOLVES GRAPHIC STUFF

I'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here
I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were
Be with me
Stay with me
Just for now
Let the time decide
When I won't need you

It's been a year since he has been gone. It's been a year since he stole her heart away. It's been a year since he left her broken, and alone. It's been a year since Edward Cullen had tragically departed from the world.

Bella Swan lifts her head from her pillow, and looks at the other side of the bed, she sees nothing. She closes her eyes, and hopes that this has all been just a dream; sadly she knows it's not. The blaring alarm clock snaps her out of her trance. Her hand lashes out, and grips the clock, before throwing it against the wall. She sits up in her bed, and screams out into the air. Her pain is still bearing a heavy weight on her chest. She decides to get out of bed, and walks her way towards the bathroom.

She reaches the mirror, and faces herself. She takes in her appearance of her pale skin and lifeless eyes. Her hair is a mess, and she doesn't remember the last time she even bothered to put make up on. She reaches up, and moves a piece of hair behind her ear.

It was early on a Monday morning. Bella was trying out a new hairstyle, but she couldn't figure how to fix it up right. She looks back towards her bedroom, and sees that her partner has gotten out of the bed. She looks back at the mirror, and sees that he's standing behind her.

"Oh Edward." She breathes out, slightly chuckling. Edward wrapped his hands around her waist, and breathed in her scent.

"What are you doing Bella?" He asks her, with his face hidden behind her hair.

"I can't get this piece to work right." Edward gently lifted his head from her shoulder, and looks back at their reflection. He gently takes the strands into his hands. He pulls it back behind her ear.

"Just leave it like that. You are beautiful Bella Swan." He tells her as he places a kiss to the back of her neck.

Bella untucks the strand she just put behind her ear. She grunts loudly and braces herself with her arms on the sink. She looks back up at her reflection, and sees his face, standing behind her and smiling. She screams out loud, and lashes her hands out, smashing the mirror into pieces. She sinks to her knees, on the cold tile floor. She lifts her arms up, and sees the blood and the slices of glass imbedded in them.

My hand searches for your hand
In a dark room
I can't find you
Help me
Are you looking for me?

Can I feel anymore?
Lie to me, I'm fading
I can't drop you
Tell me, I don't need you

She walks into the kitchen, bumping into the walls as her hands and arms continue to bleed out. She leans against the counter, and crashes back down on the floor. She looks over across the room, over at the stove and at the dirty pots.

Bella had walked home from a long day at work. She dropped her bags by the door, and kicked off her shoes. She smelt something good coming from the kitchen, so she followed the scent.

"Edward?" She called out to him when she saw him standing by the stove, mixing something.

"Bella!" He said, turning around in surprise. "You are home early. Is something alright?" He questioned, checking his watch.

"My boss let me off early." She explained as she looked over at him questionably. "What are you trying to do?" She chuckled.

"I wanted to show you that I am a much better cook than my mother. Though she is an exceptionally great cook." He told her as he held up a spoon of what he was mixing to her lips. She took some of the sauce into her mouth.

"Wow. That is really good." She smiled at him, and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Tears started streaming down her face as she tried to stand up. She couldn't take being in the room where they have shared so many memories. The blood from her arms was dripping across the floor as she moved into the living room. She collapsed on her back, and cried out his name.

My hand searches for your hand
In a dark room
I can't find you
Help me
Are you looking for me?

Etch this into my brain for me
Tell me, how it's supposed to be
Where everything will go
And how I'll be without you by my side

She can't do this anymore. Any room she goes in, memories of him pop up into her mind. She looks back at the television screen, and his face is there, looking down at her. She looks over to the couch, and he's sitting there, drinking his beer. She looks over at the window, and she sees him looking out at the snow cascading down from the sky.

She closes her eyes, and tries to get her mind off of him, but she just can't. She wants to be with him, she wants to end her pain. She screams out into the air, her breathing has become erratic. Her skin is covered with a light layer of sweat. Her eyes shut, as she tries to stand up. She needs to get out of her house. She makes her way towards the door, but she's lost a lot of blood. She becomes light headed as she collapses by the doorway. She reaches up towards the doorknob, the pain shoot its way down her arms. The door swings open, and she pulls her body out of the room.

She stands up, so she could shut the door. She leans against the doorway, and slams the door shut.

Bella is sitting on lying down on her couch. It's nearing nine o'clock at night, and she knows that Edward is going to walk through the door any minuet. She smiles back at this morning, when Edward finally told her that he loves her while they were making breakfast. She didn't say it back, because she really wanted to mean it when she said it, she didn't want to say it just because he said it.

A knock on the door broke her out of her trance, and she looked at the door, waiting for it to open. She finally realized that as soon Edward walked through the door, she would tell him that she loved him. The person at the door knocked a second time.

"Edward, use your key!" She called out to him; she was too comfy to get off of the couch. The person at the door knocked again, and this time, Bella stood up from the couch. She walked over to the door, and out of the peep-hole she saw Alice and Carlisle standing outside, with red eyes and grim looks on their faces.

"Hey, Alice." Bella greeted nervously as she opened the door for them. Carlisle looked up into her eyes and his heart broke.

"Bella…" He said softly. Bella looked at him curiously. Alice was unable to look up at her, for it would break her heart also.

"What's going on?" She asked, with a slight quiver in her voice. She ran down the list of things that could have happened, but nothing came to her mind. She thought of one possibility, but wanted to ignore it.

"Bella… It's Edward." Her heart shattered the moment that name came out of his mouth. Bella couldn't move, it was as her heart stopped beating in her chest. Her life lost all meaning at that moment he said his name.

"How?" She muttered out. Edward was at work at the hospital all day long, there was no way he died there.

"There was an accident. There was a patch of black ice on the road, which was almost impossible to see. He swerved straight into the side rails going full speed. He died on impact. Bella, he didn't suffer." Bella felt her throat clench shut, her vision became blurry, she couldn't hear anything else he was saying. She put her arm out and held herself against the doorway.

"No…no… that's a lie… he…he…NO!" She cried out as her knees started to go weak. Carlisle's strong hands reached out and caught her before she hit the ground. He patted her hair as she punched and clawed at his chest. Alice turned away from her, and walked away from them, wiping at her own tears.

Bella yelled out again, as she fell to her knees. She started crawling towards the elevator; she needed to get away, to forget about him. The blood leaves a trail mark of where she has been crawling. She can feel herself start to slip away from the world. She stops, and lifts her arms up. Her cuts are deep, but not deep enough to do the damage she wants it to do. She looks over, and sees a pen lying on the floor. She grabs it, and closes her eyes. She sees his face in her mind, shaking his head, directing her not to do what she's about to do. She opens her eyes, and yells out again.

She takes the pen, and puts it in her wounds, screaming out again. She drags the pen across her cuts, and makes them deeper. She has done enough, and she throws the pen back across the hall. She sees the blood flowing freely from her wrist, as she smiles to herself. She will finally get to be with him, once again. She closes her eyes, and lets fate take over.

The elevator 'dings' signaling that someone has arrived at her floor. She hears something drop, and then heavy footsteps coming closer to her. She feels herself being lifted into strong arms, and she feels someone holding her wounds, applying pressure. She opens her eyes, hoping to see Edward, but instead sees Charlie praying for her to hold on. She looks over, and sees flowers lying by the elevator, and she sees Carlisle calling an ambulance. She looks Charlie in the eyes, and realizes that he's crying. She weakly lifts her hand that he's holding to his face, and places a finger over a tear, and wipes it away. She smiles up at him. Her eyes close. Her hand drops.

My hand searches for your hand
In a dark room
I can't find you
Help me
Are you looking for me?

I know that this is graphic, but I did put a warning up there. And after watching New Moon, I realized how attached to Edward, Bella is… and decided that she CAN'T live without him!!

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