Spring
Kristoff paced the hallway outside of Anna's chamber. He alternated between running his fingers through his hair, chewing on the beds of his nails, and fiddling with his wedding ring. Every time he heard Anna's groans he swallowed the urge to storm through the door.
He knew it was not customary for the father to attend to a child's birth. Birth was a woman's domain. Things happened during birth that men did not need to see. Jenny, the midwife made that clear.
"I should be in there with her," Kristoff lamented to Anders, his fiery friend and Arendelle's temporary Ice Master, who just happened to be visiting when Anna's contractions began. While Kristoff knew Anders was likely only here to see a certain icy queen, he was glad to have him here.
Kristoff missed the ice, but with Anna with child, learning the responsibilities of being a Prince and nursing his injured thigh after the bear attack in the fall, he thought it was better if he stuck close to home. Anders offered to take on the ice business if Kristoff looked after his reindeer herd. It was a fair trade off and allowed Kristoff some semblance of his old self. He'd lose his mind if he had to deal with courtly matters twenty-four seven.
"I wish I was in there," Kristoff repeated.
"You don't need to be in there. You'd be more useless than tits on a bull. She has Elsa and Gerda for support. Come sit in the drawing room with me. We will have a game of cards or something. It might help pass the time," Anders recommended to his burley friend.
Anders had just convinced Kristoff to take a seat when Gerda entered to give him an update.
"Anna is doing fine. Things are just going a little slow. We think the baby might be turned the wrong way. The midwife is going to try to some things to get the baby in a better position."
"The baby might be the wrong way?" The colour drained from his face.
"Don't worry, Kristoff, they will be fine. Anna is doing great. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years."
But Anna hadn't. He had never been so afraid of anything in his life. He thought about her small frame, heavily burdened with child. Her pains were obvious at morning tea. It was ten at night now. God knows how long she had them before she let on. He could tell she was uncomfortable last night. It all seemed too long.
He was jolted out of his thoughts by an agonizing scream.
Gerda watch the blond man falter, "Why don't you go for a walk? See Sven in the stables. It will be a while before the baby is here yet. We will send word when there is an update."
Once out in the stables, Kristoff rubbed the new velvet on Sven's spring horns.
"Hey, Buddy."
The aging reindeer nuzzled into his arm. Kristoff kept him separate from the herd, out of fear that Lars, the new young buck, would challenge him and he would get injured. Sven had been his best friend for 14 years. He wanted his retirement to be as comfortable as possible. Sven didn't seem to mind his solitude as long as Kristoff, or Elsa, he had grown quite fond of her, visited him regularly and brought him lots of carrots. He didn't care much for the company of reindeer anyways.
"She's gonna be all right. She's Anna. She's tough as nails. If anyone can do this it's Anna," Kristoff voiced his reindeer friend.
"You're right, Sven. Anna is tough. I'm just so scared. If anything happened to her, I'd never be able to forgive myself. I just wish I could be there for her."
Kristoff was barely 8 years old. May, his step father's favourite reindeer was calving. She was having trouble so Benja had brought her in to a make shift stable where he could watch her. Out of concern and curiosity, Kristoff followed.
It was the middle of the night when May's bag of waters began to emerge. Instead of the head of a calf, two small hoofed feet began to protrude.
"F*&K, the calf is breech. Kristoff, wake up," Benja gave the sleeping boy in his charge, a swift kick in the thigh, a little harder then he intended, "We are going to have to help May birth this calf."
Kristoff watched as Benja removed his jerkin and sweater. Goose bumps formed on his arms as the cool spring air hit his bare skin.
"Go get a set of old reins," Benja ordered as he pressed his fingers through the caul to grab the feet of the birthing fawn. May's waters hit the ground with a splash.
Kristoff handed the worn and weathered reins to his step father. Benja secured them around the ankles of the fawn.
"All right, Kristoff. When I say pull, you pull as hard as you can. Got it?"
"Got it."
Benja placed his hand on either side of the emerging fawn. May groaned as he slid his hands inside her but she did not protest. Benja waited for the next contraction.
"One! Two! Pull!" Benja counted down.
Kristoff pulled on the reigns with all his might. Benja eased the calf unto the ground. He tore away the caul from the fawn's face. He wiped the newborn buck's airways clean with his fingers and blew on his nostrils. He began to give the calf a good rub but motioned for Kristoff to take over so he could check on May. The doe had collapsed.
The fawn was sticky and Kristoff could feel its ribs under his skin as he rubbed him awake. Slowly and unsteadily the calf stood on its feet. It turned to look at Kristoff and nuzzled him with his wet snout.
"Come on May. You got to stand. You got a baby to feed," Benja couched his beloved reindeer to standing. She stood tentatively before dropping back to the ground. Benja looked like he might cry.
He tried 6 times to get the deer to stand. Each time she dropped back to the ground in exhaustion.
"Let's go back in the tent, Kristoff. Hopefully, with some rest all will be well in the morning."
"I'd, I'd like to stay out here," Kristoff stammered.
"Suit yourself."
In the morning, Benja found Kristoff curled in the hay. The baby reindeer curled into his waist. He left them sleeping and checked on May. She did not look well. Her nose was hot and dry. She was burning up. There was no evidence that she passed the placenta. That was a bad sign. With a sigh, he went back into the tent and brought out his hunting rifle.
Kristoff woke to the shuffle of Benja's feet. His eyes widened as he watched Benja place the end of the rifle behind May's ear.
"No! What are you doing?"
"It's better this way, Kristoff. This way she won't suffer. This birth was too difficult for her. She has not passed the placenta. If I don't put her out of her misery now, she is in for days of agonizing pain. She isn't going to recover. It's better this way."
Benja repositioned the gun and pulled the trigger. The sound of the shot, echoed throughout the Sami camp.
"It's better this way."
Kristoff and Benja spent the day at the unfortunate task of harvesting May. She wouldn't be wasted. Kristoff was a growing boy and needed new clothes for the cool Dosland climate, the hoofs would be boiled for glue and because Benji suspected infection the meat set in bear traps, rather than cured and dried for their own consumption.
Benja spent that evening with a drink in his hand, drowning his feelings. He loved that damn deer.
"She was just a reindeer," Benja reminded himself, "There is a whole herd out there. Kristoff, what are you doing?"
He watched as Kristoff lugged the small baby reindeer and a glass bottle of milk to his bed roll.
"Our neighbour Eva's doe lost her fawn so we tried to see if she would take in little Sven here but she wouldn't. We are going to try again tomorrow. In the mean time, she showed me how to milk her and feed him. I am going to have get up in the middle night to feed him again and he needs to be warm, so I thought it would be easier to just bring him in here."
"You can't sleep with that reindeer in here, Kristoff."
"But, he needs to be warm and feed and…"
"He needs a mother, Kristoff. He won't survive."
"He'll survive, he has me."
"You are a little boy, my lad. You'll make a poor substitute for reindeer's mother. You'd be better off to leave him to the wolves now then get too attached."
"No! I am not leaving him to wolves."
"It would be for the best."
"I am NOT leaving him to the wolves!"
Benja was tempted to give the boy the back of his hand for mouthing him but today was hard enough and he saw the boy had resolved to save this deer.
"Fine. Try to save the damn deer. I am just trying to protect you from the inevitable." Benja sat back down on his own roll and took another swig.
That night Kristoff awoke to the sound of Benja screaming his mother's name. His terror and despair cut through Kristoff like a knife. He buried his face into the new born animal at his side.
"No, Johanna! No! Oh, Johanna. I can't. The boys need you, not me! I can't."
He knew what Benja was dreaming about. He had the nightmare often enough himself.
Kristoff was only 6 when his mother died but some memories remained stitched into your being forever.
"Kristoff, yes, Mommy hurts, but I'm going to be fine. You go with Benja. When he brings you back you will have a new brother or sister and I will give you the biggest hug I can muster." Johanna pulled the worried boy into her chest. He took in her familiar smell and felt her belly tighten under his small hand.
Benja took him fishing with Eva's red haired boy and his father. The pool was far enough that they were out of the way but close enough to be reached when needed.
Kristoff remembered Eva approaching, red and out of breath, with a look of alarm on her face. She didn't have to say anything. Benja leaped up and began running back to where their tent stood. Kristoff followed as fast as his little legs could carry.
He could hear the cries of the brother who would not last the night before he reached the opening of the tent. Large arms, he was unsure whose, caught him and held him back from following his step father into the tent.
He heard Benja call out, the same thing he was calling now.
"No, Johanna! No! Oh, Johanna. I can't. The boys need you, not me! I can't."
Kristoff broke free from the arms that restrained him. He entered the tent and threw his arms around his mother, in the biggest hug he could muster.
She didn't hug back.
"Anna will be fine. She has to be fine," Kristoff told Sven.
He wiped his tears with the back of his hand. It felt good to cry. He felt less tense as he made his way back to the castle. He walked down the hall and knocked on Anna's door.
Gerda opened the door wide enough to squeeze her body through and shut the door behind her.
"Everything is fine, Kristoff. Anna is ready to start delivering the child," She reassured him and turned to disappear behind the door. Kristoff moved to follow her.
"Kristoff, you will be of no use in here."
"I know. But she is my life and I need to be with her," Kristoff persisted this time in a tone that commanded authority, "If Anna doesn't want me there, I will leave. Just let me see her."
"Very well, but if she doesn't want you in here, you're out," Gerda failed to hide her mother bear.
"Fine."
"Kristoff!" Anna opened her arms and beckoned him over to her bed side.
"Anna!" Kristoff took her hand in his and kissed her forehead. She looked exhausted.
"The baby is being a little stubborn. It takes after you," She groaned as she pushed with the contraction that ripped through her body.
"Umm, I am pretty sure that trait belongs to you." He squeezed her hand.
If she wasn't filled with agonizing pain, she might have laughed. The contractions were on top of one another now. The muscles in her abdomen tightened to a point where she felt like she was being crushed by a boa-constrictor. It was hard to breathe. A fire stoked between her legs.
She wanted to give up.
"I don't know if I can do this," Anna pleaded, her blue eyes searching her husband's brown ones.
"You can do anything," Kristoff encouraged. He brushed a hair out of her face. His warmth and strength rejuvenated her. With the next contraction, Anna pushed with all her might. She felt a burning gush and a sense of calm and relief as the baby slipped into the waiting arms of the midwife.
Jenny gave the child a quick once over, "Congratulations, it's a boy!" She smiled up at the new parents.
Jenny cleared the air way of the young prince with a brown bulbed syringe before laying the pink and squalling baby boy on the chest of his mother. As she rubbed him with a towel, the infant got madder and madder.
"He's got good lungs," Jenny laughed before tying the cord, "maybe he'll be a singer."
"Hi Baby, I'm your Mommy," Anna cooed in awe of the life that now lay in her arms. Kristoff was in awe of his wife. The baby quieted at the sound of her voice.
Jenny gave them a minute before showing Anna how to put the little one on her breast, "This will help bring in your milk and deliver the afterbirth." She blushed at Kristoff but if he was determined to be in the room, he was going to have see and hear what happened in it. She wasn't going to shelter him.
Jenny massaged Anna's stomach until all was passed. Anna hardly noticed she was too enthralled with her son. She didn't see how she could love someone she just met so much.
Kristoff climbed into the bed beside his family. He kissed his wife on the crown of her head. He was proud of her. He had never loved her more than in that moment. Anna bore him a son. They were a family.
He touched the baby's tiny feet and hands. The boy grabbed his father's finger. Still attached to his mother's breast, he turned his milky grey-blue eyes to his father.
Kristoff cried for the second time that night.
"He's perfect."