Friday, September 17, 1982
Today is my birthday, Diary. I am 11 today, and so my grade 6 teacher gave me you. Ms. Warren is the nicest teacher I have ever had and she said that I am one of her best students she has ever had. She doesn't know that school is my escape, and that this is probably the only gift I will get this year, unless my brother, John, gives me one.
I am happy she gave me, you, Diary. You're probably the only friend I have ever had…
I hear someone coming, I have to put you away before they see you and take you away.
Love, Sara Sidle
Monday, September 20, 1982
Sorry I haven't written in you for a couple days, but I couldn't afford to have you taken away from me, friend.
Mother made me make the meals on the weekend, and I will have to do them until her arm heals. She fell down the stairs, or that's what she told the doctor. I don't know why she just does not tell the truth.
Anyways, we went on a school trip to the local museum. It was awesome. My parents do not know about it though, as I got John to sign it for me. I do not dare to ask my parents , because they will say no. I also got an A+ on our last test in science, though I am not surprised, science just comes easily to me.
Write in you soon,
Love Sara
Thursday, April 18, 1983
I feel so horrible, Diary. I have not written in you for awhile. Mother said she would take me away from father, but she hasn't yet. Father has started hitting me as well. John tries to defend me, but father just pushes him aside, then mother tries, but he beats her till she can't get up on steady legs.
I think Ms. Warren suspects something as I am always wearing long-sleeved turtle necks, even on warmer days. Oh, how I wish she would help me.
Father broke my wrist on my right arm, which is why I have not written in awhile. We have to switch hospitals ever few months, and even go into Toronto hospitals, so doctors won't call social services…
Thanks for being my friend,
Love Sara
Friday, October 28, 1983
Father came home today drunk again. He stated yelling at mother. What did she do this time? Last time it was that dinner was not ready when he came home. A few years ago I had tried to talk to God, but then when my prayers were not answered, I stopped praying. But then came you came along, and I had an outlet again. Im sorry I am not consistent in my writing in you, but I try.
Hopefully I will write in you sooner than last time,
Love Sara
Friday, October 28, 1983
Late Afternoon…
I did not think I would be writing in you this soon. When my father stopped yelling and started heading to my room, most likely to take his anger out on me, I could hear rustling in one of the kitchen drawers.
I then heard a cry of pain from my father. I opened my door and looked down the stairs to see my mother… stabbing my father. I gasped and ran down the stairs and put my fathers head on my lap. My mother had stopped stabbing him when I came down the stairs and just stood staring at what she had done.
I stroked my father's hair to try and calm him as he tried to breath. Before he took his last breath, he looked at me and said "Im sorry for all I have done, my princess" then he faded.
I watched as his eyes glazed over and the life go out of him. I cried for the farther that used to be before he turned to alcohol.
My mother called the police on herself. She told me she was sorry and that she did it for me, but I never wanted this. Yes, I wanted to go away, escape this house. But I never have wanted death to come upon him or anyone.
A social worker took me away. I don't remember her name, but I remember her letting me grab you. For that I am grateful.
I don't know what will happen to me from now on, but as long as I have you, diary, I will make it through.
Love Sara
September 24, 2009
I can't believe I found you after all this time. I am now 38 years old. Reading this has brought back a lot of memories, some good, some I would rather not speak of again.
I was cleaning out our house in Vegas, when I came across a box I hadn't even touched since being in college. And there you were, purple cover worn from the years of my inconsistent writing. And let me tell you, which you probably already know is that some of this stuff is very deep.
However, I have moved on, put my ghosts to rest and I couldn't be happier. There were some bumps along the way like being kidnapped by a serial killer and left stranded in the middle of the desert to die. But I have gotten over it.
I have married the love of my life and I am getting our house ready to move back into while Gil finish's his seminar in Paris, France. It was nice there but I missed our friends and I didn't really have a lot to do there so we agreed I could fly back home. Adding to my wanting to be back is that I found out I am pregnant. I have told Gil and he agrees with getting the house ready.
We have not told our family (close friends as we both don't have any family left other than my mother and brother, both of whom I do not speak with) as we want to tell them when Gil comes home from France.
It was nice seeing Greg, Nick and Catherine again as I have missed them immensely, even though it was sad that Warrick could not be with us (bless his soul). Ray Langston is quite a fellow and it seems he has fitten in pretty well with everyone. But who I missed the most was Jim. He has and always be like a father to me. The others don't know this but we flew him to Costa Rica to walk me down the aisle.
It is good to be back and I am excited on how my life has turned out. Maybe someday I can show this to our son or daughter and show them that if you work hard enough you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
I hope this is the last time I will write in you,
Love Sara Grissom