Up in FanFic Author HQ, where all great fanfic authors go to work and dictate their stories, one of the greenhorns walked in, tossed his flat hat onto the stand, put his jacket down on his desk, and walked over to the only other person here, Charlie. He was a desk manager, and used to write stories on character-building.
"Mornin', Charlie."
"Yo, Syl! How's the recent chapter of 'Heroic League' coming along?"
"Slow. Got everything down, got started, but still trying to make it not boring. It will at least, I hope, be out by next week."
"O.K. Hot chocolate?"
"Thanks." Syl walked back to his desk, plopped down on his chair, and started to doodle robots. After tearing up numerous sheets of paper, the Fanfic God, with his very long bread, and his long white robe, drifted over to Syl.
"Hardman5509, I have a task to which you must not fail."
"And what that may be?"
"Down in the Fanfiction world of Disgaea, the three gangs from the games are having a Christmas party."
"Ironic. This should be slop."
"I need you to make it a romantic comedy."
"…Eh?"
"I need you to make it a good fanfic. Bring in the couples. Make kisses rain down. Do your thing."
"I haven't really had much luck in that department as of late…"
"You're still a green horn. You'll be famous one day. Now I need Adell/Rozalin, Mao/Raspberyl, and whoever has the least amount of good Fanfiction with Laharl."
"Etna?"
"Very well." And with a wave of his godly hand, Syl vanished.
"Why don't I get good assignments?"
" 'Cause you suck."
Syl arrives at Castle Greyskull…I mean, Laharl's Castle in a puff of purple smoke. He choked a little and walked off towards the castle. It was decorated with lots of bright lights (Laharl was probably having a fit.) Syl was having a hard time walking, the lights were VERY bright.
In fact, he fell off the bridge into the river.
It was very painful.
Luckily, there was a way into the castle at the bottom. After dusting himself off, he walked in, quietly. Didn't want any Prinnys catching him, that would be embarrassing. It wasn't a sewer, but it did have an unusual smell to it. It strong enough to make Syl cover his nose.
He found himself under the kitchen, as the smells became bad cooking. He looked up through a drain hole. A pink-haired girl wearing an apron and a chef's hat was cooking something foul on the stove. A door slammed, and stormed in a be-spectacled boy, angry, no doubt.
"WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU CAN COOK? YOU'RE WORSE THAN ETNA!" bellowed Mao. (It was he.)
"But, Mao, it's my special pudding!" said Raspberyl, innocently. (It was her, of course.)
Mao knocked the 'pudding' off the stove, and the mess spilled down the drain, and it landed on Syl's head, scorching him, and making him yell out loud. This caught the attention of the arguing couple.
"Umm…is there someone down there?" questioned Raspberyl.
Syl knew that blowing his cover will mean he will be banned from Fanfiction, and he will have to live the rest of his life here, in this world. It wouldn't be that bad, but people liked his stories, and couldn't let them down.
"Uhh…Dood! That hurt!" The prinny gag worked every time.
"Stupid prinny! And don't think you can't get away from my verbal abuse!" He shouted to a sneaky Raspberyl.
So the two argued, and Syl came up with a way to turn this story into a romance. Bad news was he would waste his ace at the beginning. Well, the others should be easy, oh well.
He pulled out a bottle…which just happens to be there…because God wills it?...with a old label that read, Plothole Love Potion: Fixes Any Fanfiction, no matter how bad a story is, this potion will revive it…with LOVE!
"Ah, my favorite." Syl put some into a sprayer he pulled out of nowhere…GOD WILLS IT… and sprayed up, towards the bickering couple. The two stopped to notice the mist, but before they could react, they became…infected!
Luckily, Syl ALWAYS had a T-Virus antidote on him at all times.
However, it was the right potion, and Mao and Raspberyl suddenly had hearts in their eyes. The smooching came fast and heavy, and soon, clothes started to fall off. They took the business into another corner, allowing Syl go up and sneak out, while narrowing avoiding Raspberyl's bra.
Syl threw away the potion; sadly it always had a one-time use. Apparently, the Fanfic God wanted romance to happen; he wanted to have it done in different ways. So, the potion was gone, and Syl had to improvise from here now on.
He snuck into the room where the tree was standing, the stockings hung. Flonne was setting up the mistletoe up, while Rozalin and Etna made Adell and Laharl set up the rest of decorations while they drunk hot choco.
Hey, it rhymes!
Syl figured that he should start with Adell and Rozalin, the two were just hapless. He watched as Laharl argued with Etna over the dropped box of light bulbs as he decided to do Adell and Rozalin first.
The two sat down on a sofa, but sadly for Syl, he needed the other three away. But without them going to the kitchen, that would be awkward! Syl soon saw his chance when a bunch of prinnys came down. Heh heh heh…
Syl reached into his never-ending bag of tricks and pulled out a smoke bomb. He set the timer to 5 seconds, and threw onto a prinny's backside. It released a thick black cloud which covered the room. Etna, being a Prinny Trouble Meter, grabbed Laharl and Flonne and chased the prinnys upstairs, where the cloud followed behind.
…GO WITH IT.
Adell and Rozalin coughed for a bit, but remained on the couch. Syl was saving an old trick for last, so he thought for a minute to get the two loving each other. He pulled out a long cane, one he used to pull away others from doing something stupid. It also had other features, like a 'pusher' which it was a rectangular box. He twisted off the curve, and attached it. He took his position.
Wait for it…
"So…how are things going?" asked Adell after a quiet minute. Rozalin opened her mouth, Syl took his shot.
Insert awkward smooching sound effect here.
It was very weird moment for a second, but then it became romantic as the two faces went from shock to tender, then to 'suggestive.' Syl left, and nearly dodged Adell's shirt. On to the last couple, with his favorite weapon in tow…
The prinny disarmed, Flonne walked off to make a cake while Laharl and Etna continued their bickering fight. She was humming a hymn, and was in a good mood.
Imagine her face after seeing Mao and Raspberyl without any clothes on.
Syl snuck through the rafters, and reached the bedroom where Laharl and Etna were.
How interesting convenient.
"How come your prinny had a smoke bomb on his back? Are you trying to take over again?" bellowed Laharl.
"I don't have any smoke bombs! It must been some dumb prank by another prinny! And I thought I was complaining on your holiday cheer!" replied Etna.
"I hate Christmas."
"That's because we never celebrated it before!"
"Exactly! Why should I celebrate a holiday I know nothing about!"
"Ohhh…stop being a Grinch and enjoy the holiday!"
And so on, and so on.
Syl withdrew from the bottom-less bag a fishing rod and a spring of mistletoe and hooked the mistletoe and lowered it under the couple. Just hope they didn't see the wire.
"Give me one good reason why I enjoy this holiday!" yelled Laharl.
Etna pointed up to the mistletoe.
"So? What is that anyway?"
"Mistletoe. People kiss under it."
"WHAT? NO WAY! NOT WITH YOU!"
"Please?"
"NEVER!"
She made him anyway.
After five seconds, Laharl broke free, spat, and wiped his lips.
"For disobeying me…you need to learn your place as a vassal."
Etna sighed. "What is the punishment, O Overlord?"
"Lay down."
Both smiled as they continued the kisses on the bed, getting more and more sexual by the minute.
Christmas, the sexist time of the year.
The mission was finished. A portal opened up near Syl. Smiling, he took his leave.
But first, he threw back Etna's panties.
Flonne's chest was still heaving after she saw Mao and Raspberyl. She was far off balance, her angelic eyes still in shock.
Then she walked back to the tree room…
"Well done, Hardman. You have completed your task. You may take the rest of the day off." God said before disappearing.
"That was fast." Said Syl as he grabbed his stuff. He walked towards the door, but Charlie stopped him.
"Merry Christmas, Syl."
"I'm Jewish."
He walked out.
Flonne was going to have a heart attack. Twice she seen 'it.' Twice she screamed. Twice she saw both bodies naked.
And she walked into the bedroom.
"WHEN AM I GOING TO SOME?"
A short story to ease up my fans. Will be updating XIII Knights and Heroic League soon. If my schedule works out…
PLEASE REVIEW!!!