Their secret relationship had come to an end when out of the blue Emma left Regina and masking her hurt she moved on. Month's later Regina's life is at risk, and to stay safe she must stay at the 'un'-Charmings. With no spare room Regina and Emma are forced to share a bed, and much more.

Yes I am alive, and I'm back!

So I have decided to set myself a challenge; to post art or ff every day of see all my entires follow me on Tumblr at the same name.

This is the first part of my Daily December challenge, a angsty one shot. Kinda beta'd ish

Some of you will be pleased to hear that TGIBDSMF will resume in three days time


Difficulty Breathing

Well this isn't awkward, Emma mused to herself as she lay flat on her back to the left of the king size bed, staring at the ceiling. The paint was beginning to flake, loose particles precariously clinging to their siblings in a desperate attempt to defy gravity, frightened fledglings fearful of their very first flight into the unknown, not yet prepared to bid goodbye and to become the inevitable snowstorm of misery…The décor really wasn't all that fascinating, but Emma was doing everything in her power to distract her mind from the brunette that lay just mere inches to her right; and her mind was failing, miserably.

Regina was trying her best to will an expansion of the gap between them, like Moses' parted sea. She was barely held by the mattress, lying as far as humanly possibly from the blonde.

The room was dark and cold to match the mood. Regina wasn't sure which had materialised first; the atmosphere or the temperature, frankly she didn't care. She was tired and she was pissed off, and she was forced to stay against her will at the un-bloody-Charmings and as if that wasn't bad enough, she had been forced to share a bed with Miss Emma—I'm-oh-so-perfect-so-I'm-allowed-to-get-away-with-being-a-total-cunt Swan! A threat had been made against Regina's life, and for her protection she had been swaddled into Mary Margaret's hobbit sized house, with three other adults, her son and a screaming baby Regina considered death a relief from the droll torture of her life.

Gritting her teeth, she decided that maybe, if she just ignored Emma's very existence she would in time forget she was there at all, unlikely, but worth a shot nonetheless. Closing her eyes she let out a controlled breath to relax herself as she went to her 'happy place'.

"Are we going to talk about it or not?" Emma interrupted into the darkness.

As her 'happy place' felt the first shudders of an earthquake she let out an irritated sigh as she opened her eyes. "Apparently so, I was naively hoping that we could manage this without having to converse so unnecessarily, but clearly I had forgotten with whom I was dealing. She added bitterly.

They hadn't really spoken much in a long time, nothing significant, and never unless the really had to, and then it was always kept short and curt at best. This was the first time in several months they had even been alone in the same room together. "I'm sorry." Emma merely said.

"Don't!" She bit back the other words threatening to erupt from her, it was late and she really didn't want to discuss anything with Emma, least of all this. "What's done is done, now go to sleep."

There was a moment's silence, before Emma reached cautiously out into the darkness, and stroked the back of her hand tentatively against Regina's cheek, causing the brunette to flinch and pull away, rolling over to stare pointedly at the wall. "I miss you."

"How dare you!" Regina snapped resentfully. "You have no right to say that." Rage began to descend like a hazy fog. "You walked out on me, not the other way around! You left me, and if you had stayed then you'd have nothing to miss, so don't you dare!" Through the mist drifted wisps of heartache and longing, clutching at her heart like claws, their grip vice like.

"I know, I know!" Emma's heart faltered, she could hear the crack in Regina's voice. She knew her, she could read her so easily, her bitter anger was a thin veil to mask the pain, pain that she had caused. "And nothing I can ever say will excuse walking out on you, but I was stubborn and I was scared and….

"Of me!?"

"No!" Emma exclaimed in surprise. "Oh Regina you have never frightened me, not even when we first me, not even when you probably should have, you have never frightened me." It was true, she had instinctively always trusted the Mayor, even when all rhyme and reason told her not to; there was something about the look in her eye. With Regina she was never in any real danger. "I trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone."

"But not enough to stay with me." It wasn't a question, just an empty softly spoken statement. "I never asked anything of you…" Her voice was betraying herself as her throat tightened. "I gave no demands to you, not physically, emotionally, mentally. I never asked for anything from you!"

"You didn't have to…"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Regina asked angrier now as she turned to face Emma, who remained silent as she mused over the words. "No Miss Swan you started this damn conversation, now you will tell me what in the hell you mean!"

"I love you!" Emma finally snapped, before adding a much softer "I love you."

"No." Shaking her head she moved to get up. "How dare you!" She had to get out of there, away from the manipulation and the lies, away from the woman who said the words, which she had been longing to hear for so long.

Grabbing her wrist to stop her moving, Emma pulled her back, straddling her small frame and pinning her arms down against her pillow.

"Get off me Miss Swan I am warning you!" She fought back against her restraint, desperate to get away.

"No, you will listen to this!"

She fought back the tears, as she fought back at Emma. She couldn't use her magic, maybe she'd forgotten how, maybe she didn't really want to leave, and maybe she was just too feeble, too broken. But without her magic, Emma was stronger, Emma could pin her down. Regina was a mere shell of a person, made too weak from personal tragedy, loss and pain, the emotions Emma's small words had elicited finally breaking her, she felt like her entire soul was crumbling, that if Emma held her any tighter she would crumble to dust and just float away.

"No, Regina, look at me."

Regina's gaze was fixed on the wall as she bit down on her lip, desperately fighting the flood that threatened to erupt.

"I am sorry for a lot of things." She whispered. "I'm sorry for how I treated you, but I am not sorry that I love you."

Like a burst dam, once the tears started, they continued to fall, heavier and heavier, her entire body shook with the force, as she sobbed into Emma's shirt as strong arms wrapped around her shaking frame.

"I've got you, and I'm never letting go."


This is my first attempt at angst… Thoughts?