So… yeah, this is just a side story since I'm having another writer's block… again… FUCK!
Anyway, we'll just see where this goes since I do have a plot for it, but yeah, we'll see.
WARNING: I don't own Naruto. Harem story with sarcasm and stupidity from your author… fourth wall breaking. Oh, and some major twists that you might like.
WARNING 2: Possibly no lemons because this is more on plot now. Suggested themes may apply though. Hey, use your imagination, at least you're not that limited.
Besides, if I did write lemons, they'd all be pussy penetration because… it's my fetish… and womb enlargement… and impregnation… preggy… incest for Naruto, milfs, and rape but no threesome or more because my fetish… see?
DISCLAIMER: Read the warnings because if I did? It would be a Naruto x Sakura due to how it developed so fuck off… just kidding, it's the main, sure, but I'd still make it a harem. That doesn't mean they'll be the first to develop though! FUCK YES!
IMPORTANT: Naruto has a new outfit. In all truth, it is practically his outfit in "Naruto Movie 3" but now he's in Shippuden while the movie was when he was still a kid, and you just change the outfit a little. Not that hard. AND FOR FUCK SAKE! Naruto Movie 3 is NOT Naruto Shippuden Movie 3 people! That's what you would call fourth wall breaking if I placed it in the story, and I'm too lazy to explain it. You guys have the internet, search the meaning if you don't know.
ONTO THE STORY!
(Prologue)
Two years have passed since Naruto left on the training trip with Jiraya. Over the two years, Naruto has broken out of his stupidity, though he may still be a little oblivious when it comes to girls and what they say, but he did grow out of his stupidity. In fact, it was during those two years he had his first kill along with a change of outfit.
As far as Konoha was concerned, Naruto was still the Kyuubi Brat. Konoha, which excludes no one except for Jiraya. The old pervert aside, everyone remembers Naruto as that bastard of a child who use to pull pranks every now and then. They also remember him as the loud ignorant brat, but that doesn't count much.
Finally, the subject of the matter steps into the village making the two Chunin guards look on in shock.
"Was that-?"
"No way…"
"Look at him…"
Naruto Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi no Yoko, walks pass the gate with emotionless eyes, and he does so alone. He wears a black shirt under a high collar zip-up sleeveless jacket that was orange in color. His pants are black cargo pants and his footwear consist of black shinobi sandals. He has bandages on the lower half of his lower leg which seemed to merge the pants and sandals into one part of his outfit. His jacket on the other hand has a black hood attached to it via zipper beneath the collar.
His hollow blue eyes stare at the tower where his Hokage resides, but then he doesn't smile. He sighs as Jiraya appears beside him. "What took you?" He asks in such a monotone voice you'd think he'd replace Sasuke.
"You left me!" Jiraya says comically but notices the mood of our blonde hero. With a sigh, he speaks. "Look, I know it's been two years and all, but come on. Don't you have any hope for yourself for going after Sakura?"
Immediately after those words left the pervert's mouth, the Uzumaki sends a death glare to said pervert. "You yourself should know first-hand of how things like this play out." He says in such a low tone that no one but Jiraya could hear him.
Jiraya glares back but then slumps in defeat. Naruto has a point, even until now he's hoping to get Tsunade, but that isn't happening anytime soon. "Alright, so what do you want to do?"
"I'll head to my apartment. Something tells me Konohamaru cleaned it for me. Also, tell Baa-chan that I'll take her "oh-so-awaited" test tomorrow."
Jiraya nods. He's gotten used to Naruto's new behavior, even if it is a pain in the ass.
Still, that behavior is not at all Sasuke's seeing as that Uchiha mother fucker is colder than ice. Hell that was even an understatement if you take everything into consideration. Naruto, unlike Sasuke, actually cares for people, but he is now reserved. He is also not as forgiving as before, but if anything hasn't changed in Naruto, it's the habit of keeping promises. That being said, he will still try to bring Sasuke back if he can, if not then… that's one less Uchiha their world needs to worry about.
Meanwhile Naruto sighs as he lies on his bed before crying himself to sleep. "Why?" That was his last word before falling into the land of nightmares.
(|||)
It was 10pm now and Naruto bolts from the bed with a kunai in hand. With deep breathes, he relaxes himself as he notices no one was in his apartment. Until of course…
"I see you've made yourself at home." A man's voice says.
"What do you want?" Naruto asks to no one.
"Nothing. I just came to deliver a gift, though you could say I should have done it later seeing as I interrupted your nightmare."
"You asshole." Naruto mutters before sitting on his bed. "So what is it?"
"'Are', dear Naruto. Anyway, they are hidden blades, and one crossbow."
The drawer by Naruto's bed slides open to show two 'bracers' and one crossbow
"You expect me to-?"
"You have sealing techniques, dear boy. Don't forget what your clan was famed for."
Naruto growls in an animalistic manner before taking both gifts. "Thanks. I'll put them to good use."
"You always do."
That being said, Naruto takes the blades and puts them on his forearm and then they merge with his being. He takes the crossbow with his left hand and places it on his right outer forearm before it too merges with his being. He flicks his wrists making the blades come out from them, he flicks his wrists again sheathing them. He points his right fist to a wall and squeezes his right arm muscles making four crossbow bolts fly, one from each of his knuckles. He then switches to make his right palm face the wall and once again squeezes his right arm muscles, this time making a spear fly into the wall. Not yet satisfied, he points one finger to the wall, and as if his hand were a gun, he fires a bolt, this time only one.
Finally satisfied, he pops his joints before opening the window. He creates a few clones to take care of the mess he made and then he glides through the roof tops.
(|||)
A new day dawns on Konoha, the streets were slowly being filled by people, and only one person isn't on the streets if you exclude the ANBU patrols and shinobi teams sent on missions.
It was Naruto, the teen was floating in midair and no one even noticed. With a disappointed sigh, he flickers out of existence just in time to miss three people, Sakura, Konohamaru, and Moegi walk out from an alley. "Konohamaru, are you sure he was here?" Moegi asks as she slumps.
"He was… hmm… do you think he went to the tower?" Konohamaru suggests more than asks.
Sakura sighs before nodding. "I still can't believe it though, he hasn't even greeted any of us once he got back."
Meanwhile, Tsunade was having a good day. Not only did she not have a ton of paperwork, she also didn't have any meetings.
"Sup bitch?"
BOOM-CRASH-BOOM-"MEOW!"
In an instant, Shizune barges into the office. "Tsunade-sama! What's the-… oh… it's just Jiraya…"
The old pervert has his eyes swirling as he is on his back by the wall beside the door.
"I thought I told him not to do that." A hooded teen says as he enters the office. His black hood hides his upper face well, and his orange collar hides his lower face without much problem either.
Hearing those words made Jiraya stand with his injuries vanishing in a flash. "Well, now that we're here, why don't we get down to business?"
"Indeed."
"Hold it, who are you?!" Tsunade asks as four ANBU appear by her side with Shizune getting ready to fight as well.
"Wait! Tsunade! He's-!"
In an orange flash, each ANBU are bound by hair-thin wires, Shizune too, in a rather revealing way, and then Tsunade who was immediately bound to her chair. "That's not nice at all. I thought you missed me." He says and then pulls his hood down making the eyes of Tsunade widen. "It's been long, Baa-chan."
(TBC?)
There you go… how is it? Review please.