Author's Notes: set Post-S7. Kind of Angsty...
Very few people really understood the unusual attraction between Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano, but even less understood why they couldn't get together.
As was to be expected, Rory was the one holding their relationship at arms length. They wrote letters, chatted on line, and called quite often, but whenever Jess brought up meeting in person, Rory would always have other plans, no matter what. Even her mother was beginning to question why Rory wouldn't just see the boy in person.
Rory said it was a question of forgiveness.
Rory could forgive Jess for lying to her about school and for not telling her he wasn't going to graduate. She could forgive him for leaving her without saying goodbye or so much as leaving a note. She could forgive him for bursting into her life to admit he loved her and running away before she could respond. Hell, she could even forgive him for running into her dorm room and pleading for her to run away with him.
She could forgive every slip and screw up he made from the day he was born until this very moment.
What she couldn't overcome enough to forgive was herself. She had gone to his bookstore. She had lingered until everyone else was gone. She let him get closer and closer until he was actually kissing her, and only then did she bother to stop him. She treated him like a tool to use against Logan. She had no respect for him or his feelings that night, and she was sick with herself because of it.
And even after she treated him like dirt, the last thing he said to her that night started with, "If it makes you feel better..." After she crushed him, he tried to make her feel better.
She knew that when she and Jess met again, it would be a fresh start. A chance for them to make it work once and for all. But she knew that this fresh start would only be killed again by her guilt.
It was a question of forgiveness. Rory needed to forgive herself.