AN: Final-Fantasy-Fusion at your service. This is my very first fanfic, and it is a complete, 100%, Grade A CRACKFIC. It was inspired by when a friend showed me the Asian Milkshake video, and I ended up having a nightmare about it. *shudder* Anywho, on to the story. Oh, Disclaimer.
Disclaimer: Fusion doesn't own Warriors. If they did, why would they be here?
Thank you, Disclaimer.
The sun beat mercilessly down on the ThunderClan camp; every cat was sweltering in their pelts. They had had to search painfully close to the RiverClan border to find vines to drape over the dens. The Highrock was almost to hot to stand on. It had been awful for the past several days, and many cats were beginning to lose their patience. The others had already lost their minds…
It was a little past noon, and most of the cats had already eaten, and were sharing tongues. There were very few cats in the clearing, since many were attempting to find shelter from the heat in any place possible. Several had already been tossed out of Cinderpelt's den.
"Where's Firestar?" Graystripe asked. He and Sandstorm had been waiting, but their leader hadn't appeared. "He hasn't eaten yet, and the fresh-kill is almost all gone."
Sandstorm frowned slightly. "I saw him eat a scrawny mouse earlier, but I don't think that would be enough for him." Graystripe shrugged.
"I'll bring him something now. Perhaps a nice shrew will do." Graystripe selected his choice from the fresh-kill and padded over to Firestar's den.
"Hey Firestar, I brought you a – HOLY $ %#!" Every head in the camp was turned at Graystripe's yowl as the tom was sent tumbling by the sudden appearance of their leader…
Or at least, what used to be him. Firestar's chest and lower body were covered by various leaves, leaving his head, back, and belly exposed. There was a vine circled around his head like a crown. His pupils were dilated to the point where they were tiny slits. He opened his mouth and—
"MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!" Firestar howled at the top of his lungs and began to prance on the Highrock like a maniac. "AND THEY'RE LIKE, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS!"
"Firestar?" Sandstorm whimpered as the being that looked like their leader continued his dance. Suddenly, Graystripe appeared next to Firestar, his face shadowed. "Graystripe?" Sandstorm asked nervously. Then, Graystripe lifted his head to reveal eyes exactly like Firestar's.
"And I was like, BABY, BABY, BABY OOHHHHH!" Graystripe leaped off the Highrock, somersaulted in midair, and then proceeded to perform some comic jig in the middle of the clearing, still howling the song as loud as he could.
Sandstorm was frozen in shock for several moments. Then, in a panic, she raced to the elder's den for advice. Surely they, the oldest cats in the clan, could explain this?
"Smallear, One-eye, Dappletail, I-" Sandstorm stared in horror at the appearance of the three elders who were huddled together.
"We have big butts and we cannot lie," the elders rasped in a low hum, their hindquarters moving in rhythm to their chant. "You other brothers can't denyyy…" Sandstorm raced out of the den to one of the most terrifying sights of her life.
Graystripe and Firestar were still singing, but they were no longer alone. The apprentices were gathered in a circle around Cloudpaw, who was dancing like his uncle. The queens, as well as Frostfur and Brindleface, were swaying back and forth. Darkstripe, Whitestorm, and Longtail were leaping in strange patterns at the other end of the clearing. All of them had the same eyes.
"Party Rockers in the HOUUSE TONIIIIIGHT!" The apprentices sang as Cloudpaw hopped in a circle. In the background, Firestar did a backflip, still howling about 'his Milkshake'. Sandstorm's head whipped back and forth between the different groups.
"DAANCING QUEEEEN!" The queens howled as Frostfur and Brindleface did some sort of dance together. "YOUNG AND SWEET, ONLY SEVENTEEEEEN!" From the den, one could hear the tiny voices of the kits singing "I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck…"
Whitestorm was the lead singer, while Darkstripe and Longtail sang backup. "I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! YOU LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! SHE LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT. WE LIKE TO?"
"MOVE IT!" The whole camp howled in unison.
"CINDERPEEELT!" Sandstorm howled in horror, sprinting to the medicine cat's den. "WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
Cinderpelt calmly stepped out of her den. "It appears that there was something in the fresh-kill. Perhaps some Two-Leg contraption. Whatever the case, it should wear off in a few hours, a day at most." From Cinderpelt's den, Mousefur, Brackenfur, and Dustpelt could be heard singing "Now you're just somebody that I used to know…"
"That's a relief," Sandstorm sighed. "But what do we do until then?"
"You can go hunting or patrol the borders," Cinderpelt said, heading into the forest. " In the meantime, I'll go look for some herbs to speed up their recovery."
Sandstorm nodded, and glanced at the others, sighing. At least it won't get any worse, she thought. Suddenly, she heard Cinderpelt yowl from the forest.
"I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!"
Sandstorm fainted.
-The End—
Yeah, it's completely random and probably a little crappy. Ah, well. I haven't read Warriors in forever, so the info in this story is most likely wrong.
Oh, while you're on FanFiction, check out SilverIcefire's page. They've got some good Warriors fanfics.