Pixie and Dragon decided to write the most epically cracktastic fanfic in the history of the universe.

This is the result.

(We do not own anything that is recognizable to people besides ourselves that make an appearance in this epic crackfic.)

One day, Axel chased Roxas over the rainbow all the way to china. They spent 50,000 munny on random chickens with mohawks of doom. When Xemnas realized that they were gone, he sent Xigbar to get his revenge. Roxas realized that they might have left their hotel room in Vegas open to the public, so Axel bought a flying monkey from Captain America that could become Iron Man to protect their lair. When Xiggy showed his beautiful blue armpits to Captain America, he got a free ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory!

While this was happening, Axel got wasabi on his wenus, and spent 2 hours trying to lick it off. Roxas face palmed himself and out of nowhere, N. II threw a banana at his bellybutton. Demyx ninja-poofed and made Xigbar stop and stare at his bare ass. Xigbar fainted at the glorious sight.

Then Xemnas ninja-poofed with Saix in tow, and got a nosebleed at the sight of Demyx's bare ass. "Puppy!" Demyx squeed happily, as Saix did a happy dance and pranced around on Xemnas' little red wagon.

"What are you clowns doing stealing magic green tomatoes from the back of a drug dealers' caravan?" Xemnas wagged a bowl of chili in front of Axels' nose holes.

"Axel wanted to see the worlds biggest pickle parade." Roxas shimmied up a palm tree while singing "Life is a Highway".

Xemnas sighed, pulling Saix off of Demyx's polka dot trousers, and carried him bridal-style back to the beach they had come from.

Demyx quickly became depressed when his big blue puppy got grounded and went to the emo corner with Zexion and cried raisins out his ears.

Meanwhile, at the Organizations secret hideout in the sewers of New York City, Vexen was busy trying to create a new breed of puppy-sized elephants. "I've done it!" He sang, tossing his half eaten Whopper into a recycling bin. He picked up the midget elephant and flaunted it about to the other members while naming the alphabet backwards.

But Mar-Mar was picking beavers out of the garden, and turning them into little fuzzy wallets, and Xaldin had gotten drunk off of sparkling cider while chanting along to the tune of Miley Cyrus. Sexy Zexy was reading "Fifty Shades of Gray" while listening to My Chemical Romance in his private emo corner. So Vexen had no one to show off his mighty heroic deed to.

When the Akuroku pairing came back, they decided to grab a bite at Wendy's and Roxas ordered a bowl of leaves since he became obsessed with Jenny Craig. Axel powered through 3 Baconators, two large hippos, and half of a snakeskin boot. When he finished gulping down his bottomless Doctor Who drink, he belched loud enough for all of Valhalla to hear.

In a Galaxy Far, Far Hawaii…

"What the bloody hell was that, darling beautiful brother of mine?" Loki asked Thor sex-a-liciously.

"How should I know, brother?" He replied, drinking a cup of coffee, eating poptarts, and stroking his bunny Adele.

Loki shrugged, flipping a page in his "Ass-Guardian Times".

Back on Urth…

Pixie made a random-ass ninja-poof into the hideout of Org. XIII, bringing with her a bucket full of mashed potaters, and flung them at Larxenes' bitchy face.

"WTFBBQ?" She exclaimed, "I farts in your general directions!" The whore-biscuit launched a counter attack of cornpuppies at the unsuspecting girl. Pixie dodged them like a ninja and summoned the God of Mischief to unleash an earth shattering "Loik'd!" upon her slutty face, while fondling his perfect mustache Wendy. As the battled ended, Loki cried to the heavens, "Beam me up, Scotty! Ehehehehehehehehehe!" And with that, he vanished in a double rainbow back to Ass-Guard.

"What the French toast is wrong with you Nobodies!" Xemnas hollered, "As the Phantom of the Opera, I command all of you to cosplay!"

The group took turns poofing into fictional characters of the epic variety. Xaldin, who was still a bit tipsy, took on the form of a graceful ballerina. Saix poofed into Legolas and shot an arrow into Xemnas' knee. Then, Luxord became Gambit and started slinging his cards everywhere. Axel changed into Iron Man, flying up to the roof yelling, "YOOOOLOOOO!" Roxas went all Captain America and followed Iron Axel around like a fanboy. Xemnas cosplayed Batman and started limping after Legolas for taking an arrow to the knee. Xiggy went ape-shit as Tallahassee firing off his Arrowguns in random directions. Vexen didn't feel like following orders, so he went to sleep on a poppyseed muffin. Lexeaus just stared at a wall, watching the paint dry. Zexion cosplayed as a Spotted Pigmy Emo, staying in his little corner. Demyx poofed into George Harrison, and continued playing his Sitar. Mar-Mar did a back flip to become the Burger King and proceeded to scare the shit out of a very masculine ballerina. Pixie became Deadpool and stood there conversing with yellow boxes. And finally, the bitchy whore biscuit turned into a professional stripper and starting flirting with a Moogle.

"Will everyone STFU!" A very pissed off Dragon barged into the room, "Some people are trying to watch That 70's Show in peace!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing, and gawked at the sight of the girl dressed in YGOTAS pajamas.

Xemnas marched his spandex-clad ass over to Dragon, and stared at her with his menacing scowl, towering over her like the Leaning Tower of Pizza.

Dragon stared right back up at him and waved her hands around her face, "You see dis? Dis is me being UNPHASED."

Xemnas backed away from the demon-child, crying like a kid who had just gotten molested.

"Now, if you creepers don't mind, I would like to return to my cupboard and stuff myself with Lucky Charms!"

Legolas raised his hand.

"And no! You ain't ever getting me Lucky Charms!" With that, she moon walked out the window and dug herself all the way to Atlantis.

"Do any of you feel like you're being watched?" Captain America asked.

Everyone looked up at the ceiling in thought…

Meanwhile, up in the TARDIS...

The Doctor could help but ROFL at what he was watching on his Youtube account that was currently live streaming the Organization.

Meanwhile, at Stark Tower…

JARVIS informed Tony of the horrible cosplay of Iron Man that was being posted on Youtube by a bunch of crazy jack-wagons. "Okay, yeah. JARVIS, call up Steve, I need a drink and some Shwarma."

Meanwhile, in Zombieland…

Tallahassee squinted at the computer screen, "If that guy's supposed to me, I swear, I'm gonna bust a cap in his ass."

Meanwhile, back in Ass-Guard…

As the video finally started to end, Loki made a, "Ehehehehehehe!" Thor cried the with the tears of baby eagles, picked up the magical glow screen and threw it on the ground, declaring, "ANOTHAAAA!"

This is what happens when we spent TOO much time together and we get bored.

Hope you enjoyed!

-Pixie (and Dragon)