Normally, the ending of a story is the worst part. You can get so into everything, and when you do, you don't want it to stop. I guess you could say it's entrancing. The characters, the music, the exposition and the climax. When you really love a story, you fall in love with it. And you know you're in love if you can't stop thinking about it. So when the tale ends, it's heart breaking in a way.
But see, as sad and doleful as it may seem, people tend to just move on. Find another series of intricate plots and characters to adore; waving away the old fable like dust on our shoulders. It seems uncaring, but we still remember the other beloveds we had. The other tales we fell in love with, and still think about sometimes. We draw their names in new layers of dust without knowing.
You can let go of things, but you can't stop loving them.
I've fallen in love. I fell in love with the most beautiful story I've ever heard. It's probably the most tragic and heart wrenching thing; but so god damn gorgeous. And I think about it, all the time. The tale is never ending in my head and oh god how I don't want it to ever end. I don't want to let go but stay in love. I want to just be in love. It's hard to do that, when you know you aren't loved back. That's the good thing about books and movies, I suppose. You can appreciate the living hell out of those pages and scenes without having to worry if they appreciate you back. That's probably the most unfortunate part of this story- or at least it is from my point of view. That's why I'm starting from the beginning, which -in this case- is one of the more mournful parts of his fable; and mine. It can only get better from here.
I go by the name of Karkat Vantas. I am an acclaimed and brilliant movie critic, and not a narrator or a story teller. But this isn't a story. Or a movie. It's someone's life, that I have without a doubt fallen into the most deep of infatuation with.
I am in love with John Egbert, and if my story does end, then he is going to be my happy ending.