An Aokise one-shot told through texts to Kuroko.
Kise and Aomine fought a lot. Usually they fought over every single small thing. But sometimes, which was still several times a week, they're fights escalated to the point where Kise would text Kuroko, forcing him to intervene. Although Kuroko insisted that Kise and Aomine fights were important, Kagami still thought their fights were ridiculous. Usually they're fights went as follows:
Kuroko was leaning against Kagami as they watched a movie. On the table, Kuroko's phone buzzed. As Kuroko reached for his phone, Kagami sneaked a glance at the screen. Kagami groaned as he slumped against the couch. The text was from that idiot sparkly blonde.
Kise: Kurokochiiiii... Aomine is so mean! We're breaking up. I'm done with him. ヾ(ﾟдﾟ)ﾉ
Kuroko: What did he do this time?
Kise: I asked him to help me to at least wash the dishes but he told me he wanted to finish watching this basketball game. And no matter how much I begged or asked, he wouldn't help me! He totally loves basketball more than me! o(╥﹏╥)o
Kagami snickered because it was probably true. That guy was such a basketball idiot. Kuroko shot him a look and shifted away to lean on the arm of the couch instead.
Kuroko: Just go back and talk to him, I'm sure he'll help you wash the dishes this time.
Kise: No, I'm done with that stupid idiot. He's always so mean to me!
Kuroko: I'll treat you to something so promise you'll go talk to him again.
Kise: Really? Kurokocchi sankyuu~ ヽ(^◇^*)/
-a couple hours later-
Kuroko: Have you talked to Aomine?
Kise: Yup~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 'kay can't talk now
A moment later Kuroko received a rather blurred picture of what he presumed to be Aomine pushing Kise down as he shoved his tongue down his throat. With his usual stoic look, Kuroko deleted the photo.
Kuroko was snuggled up against the side of Kagami as they sat together on the couch playing video games. It was one of those rare days that Kuroko was feeling cuddly. On the table, Kuroko's phone buzzed. Setting down his controller, Kuroko reached out to pick it up. Kuroko glanced at the screen as he settled back into Kagami. Kagami was still intensely playing and was startled when Kuroko paused the game.
"The hell Kuroko..." Kagami moaned, "Is it from Kise again? What, are they fighting over drying the dishes this time?"
Kuroko glanced at Kagami and for a moment Kagami could swear he was furious. But in his normal monotone voice he answered, "It's from Aomine." Now that caught Kagami's attention. Kuroko continued, reading the text aloud, "Have you seen Kise? We fought... some days ago but he hasn't come back." Kagami sighed as Kuroko began texting. Stupid Aomine and Kise taking all of Kuroko's attention. And now Kuroko had even stopped cuddling with him. Groaning, Kagami stalked off to his bedroom where his bed welcomed him instead.
Kuroko: He hasn't texted me. I didn't know you guys fought... what did you do this time?
Aomine: I swear I didn't do anything... that bad...
Kuroko: ...
Aomine: I was reading a magazine. And then Kise starts bitching about how I'm always staring at tits. And that he doesn't have any so which do I love more. And fuck that was a hard question so I had to think about it. But before I could answer he just storms out of the apartment.
Kuroko: idiot.
Aomine: Well what did you expect me to do? Tell Kise I hate boobs and he's my one true love? 'Cause even Kise knows that's a fucking lie. And besides why can't I love Kise and tits?
Kuroko: Kise hates sharing. Especially you.
Aomine: Fuck, I know. D'ya know where he's at?
Kuroko began texting Kise, Kise, where are you? Aomine's worried.
Kise: fuck that stupid idiot. He can go love his stupid damn tits.
Kuroko: Kise
Kise: I mean he's supposed to love me! But obviously he doesn't. Cause boobs are all he needs.
Kuroko: Kise, do you like basketball?
Kise: ...of course I do
Kuroko: So do you love basketball of Aomine more?
Kise: ... Dammit Kurokochi
Kuroko: Go back and apologize.
Kuroko then switched back to Aomine, I talked to Kise, he should be coming back to your apartment.
Aomine: 'k thx
-the next day-
Kise: We're back together~ ＼（＾○＾）人（＾○＾）／
Kuroko blinked wearily at the screen. From the kitchen he could hear Kagami making breakfast. Yawning, Kuroko stumbled into the kitchen to announce the news. Kagami only grunted in response as he reached for some plates. He shoveled a mountain of food onto one plate and a more realistic normal people portion onto the other. Kagami and Kuroko sat down next to each other and began to eat.
"Hey Kuroko... Was Kise never jealous of basketball?"
"No, I think even he knows that no matter how hard he tries, Aomine will always love basketball more than him."