Feelings. That wasn't something Faith was good at. She'd tried that shit and now she was done with it. Sex, though… that was something she was good at and for the last three days at nights she'd been drinking and fucking, and it felt kinda good and bad at the same time. But, there were no feelings involved, so the side of the good prevailed.

One woman had made her feel all kinds of fuzzy feelings and messed with her head and Faith swore to herself she was done with that crap. You have one guess on who the woman in question was. Buffy Anne Summers.

The new girl got kicked out of Faith's bed as soon as she could feel her legs and Faith looked at her night stand. It was so empty without Buffy's picture on it. She'd hidden it in a drawer, she didn't want Buffy to look at her while she was fucking other people. She didn't think Buffy would ever be in her bed again, so what was the point of having her picture there?

Still, as Faith poured herself a glass of whiskey and lit a cigarette in bed, naked, just wrapped into a sheet, she couldn't help wondering: What has Buffy been up to? Does she miss me or is she fucking that beef stick?

A man. Buffy had chosen a man over her, because that was the normal life, it wasn't normal to fuck your ex enemy to oblivion, to feel and do all the naughty stuff even porn directors would marvel at.

Tears burned her dark eyes as she inhaled cigarette smoke deeply, and when she finished her whiskey, they freely ran down her cheeks. That was so not Faith, and she cursed herself and Buffy and the moment she'd let that gorgeous blondie into her stupid heart.

Buffy had chosen a man to date, but it didn't mean they didn't continue having sex. Usually it was after a few drinks or after a night of slaying… Or if they were bored… Somehow they always found a way back to each other. Somehow, this time she thought they'd stay lost on paths they were taking them to different directions.

Buffy- to a path which included being engaged to Mark, living a nice, pretty normal life in the suburbs.

Faith- a path of wild sex, slaying and missions. No love.

Saying bye to Buffy hurt Faith more than she would have admitted, and last three days and night she spent in bed with people that weren't Buffy. No, it was time to pull Buffy out of her damn system, burn her out with the help of sex, whiskey and cocaine.

Let her burn, Faith, let her fuckin' burn.

Buffy was a Head Slayer now. She was in charge and didn't have to go out slaying every night anymore. She went when she started itching for it. For the first time in years her life wasn't a complete chaos. Not on the surface, anyway. Under the surface, it was still chaotic.

Of course, the cause of that chaos was Faith. No one else ever managed to get under Buffy's skin that way. But she knew that they couldn't have a normal life together. They couldn't have a nice place with a picket fence and a puppy. But she had that with Mark, the nicest guy she could have asked for. He was a detective that dabbled in supernatural, so she didn't have to lie to him. Sometimes she jokingly called him Mulder.

He loved her, he was nice, smart and brave… but he didn't make her world explode. That was what Faith was damn good at. Every time they kissed and had sex, Buffy thought she would burst and all that would be left of her would be cinder and ash.

The last three days, though, they were hell. No word from Faith, no texts, no calls. Buffy thought she'd lose her mind. After pacing around her huge bedroom for what felt like eternity, Buffy called the hotel she knew Faith had stayed in.

"Miss Summers…", a friendly and kinda apologetic voice spoke on the other end, and Buffy knew what it meant before the woman said "Miss Lehane hasn't left her room in a few days... Not since you…"

Ran out of there like a hurricane three days ago. - Buffy finished the sentence in her head, thanked the receptionist and hanged up. She blinked tears away and poured herself a glass of red wine, even though it was barely noon.

Faith's picture was hidden in her drawer, covered by a few magazines so Mark wouldn't find it if he went through her drawer for some reason. Girly magazines like Cosmo filled him with dread and she knew if he saw them, he wouldn't dig deeper.

She couldn't keep Faith's photo there while she was sleeping with Mark, but now she pulled it out and stared at it as she sipped her wine…

Nothing good could have come out of her relationship with Faith, Buffy was well aware of it, but she still wanted her so bad it hurt. She moved her thumb gently over Faith's photo and a tear ran down her cheek. She finished her wine and poured another glass.

Mark had proposed to her, and she'd said yes. The fight that caused with Faith was one of epic proportions. They screamed, cried, punched each other, it felt… like someone was cutting into their hearts with each blow. Buffy knew it was her own fault, but she wasn't ready to lose Faith. And now, as she drank her wine, she knew it was really, definitely over.

She put the picture back into the drawer and wondered if she would ever take it out again. It didn't seem very likely.

While trying to get over Buffy, Faith found out that she had a talent she'd never really explored. One night at her favorite rock bar, Faith got on stage and sang "Nothing Else Matters". The audience loved her performance so much the manager asked her to have a little concert next week. When he asked for her name, Faith said "Hope Lyonne". It was a pseudonym she'd used on a Rogue Slayer Hunt once and she liked it. It had a ring to it.

Being a rock star was cool, everyone wanted to buy her drinks and take her home. That was exactly what she needed.

Fun, no strings, no feelings. Hell, even names weren't necessary. For sure, she'd never given any of her conquests her real name. Still, someone knew it. Her heart beat faster when she heard someone say "Faith? I never thought I'd bump into you here."

Her first instinct was to run, but she couldn't help being curious. She lifted her head while pushing a microphone in her bag. "Junior? What are you doing here?"

"My name is actually Kennedy, you know.", the younger Slayer couldn't help smiling. She'd missed Faith, who'd kinda become like a big sister to her.

Faith waved to the waiter who brought her two JDs without even asking anything.

"Cheers… Good show."

"I gotta feeling you're not here to listen to my music, Junior. What's the what?"

"Demon trouble. My team got sent here and we decided to go for a drink after a particularly hard night."

"We? I don't see anyone but you."

"That's because I hid when I saw you.", Buffy's voice came from behind Faith and almost gave her a heart attack.

Faith turned so quickly, feeling like electricity passed through her.

"B?!"

Kennedy didn't know that many feelings could be bottled into one single letter. Her eyes moved from Faith to Buffy and back, she'd never seen that much tension between two people before.

"Ok, guys, I'm gonna give you some privacy. You… talk.", Kennedy said, smiled and walked toward a group of girls, thinking maybe she could even score. It looked like those two might.

"So, how have you been?", Faith asked when she was sure that her voice would co-operate with her. It still sounded huskier than usual.

"Uh, Faith… I know it was my fault that you… disappeared… but ever since, I've been… going through the motions. The world without you sucks, it's gray and horrible."

"Yeah… Mine too. When I saw you… My mind ran to our fun times… And I've never had that much fun with anyone. Never felt that much.", Faith admitted, wondering if the devil possessed her and made her say that… What the hell… She was never one to talk about her feelings.

She waved to the waiter again, ordered a Gin Tonic for Buffy and a double JD for herself. She suddenly needed it.

"First Cut is the Deepest? Was that song for me?", Buffy asked and moved a bit closer to Faith, she was dying to kiss her, but didn't wanna make a too big step too fast…

"Every song I ever sang was for you. But didn't think you'd hear any of them… Uh, how's Mark?"

"You didn't hear?"

"Hear what? That you got married? I did. I got so wasted I couldn't get out of my bed for days. It was a good thing I had company constantly..."

Buffy sipped her Gin Tonic and fought tears. Faith didn't know.

"B?"

"I didn't get married, Faith. I got to church and… I couldn't lie in there. I didn't love him. I loved… you. I'm single now."

Faith's jaw dropped. She stared at Buffy for a moment, then looked at her hand, there was no wedding ring there. She couldn't believe…

"Buffy, I…", Faith caught her hand gently and stared into those green eyes that always haunted her at night… "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you no matter what…"

"We… we don't have to keep living like this, Faith… Maybe we can make it work this time?"

When Buffy said that, Faith pulled her into a passionate kiss… Buffy returned it with all she had, and Kennedy grinned happily when she saw them. It was about fuckin time. It was interesting how fate got them back together…

"I've been keeping your picture in my wallet.", Buffy whispered when they broke the kiss.

"Yeah, I got yours too. Damn, B."

"We've both been so stupid, haven't we?"

Faith kissed her again and this kiss spoke volumes… It told them both they'd missed out on so much while pretending they were ok without their other half.

"B… I've been a mess, but… I wanna change. I wanna be better for you."

"Would you… come home with me?"

"Yeah… Think it was about time I did that. So, how about the demons you've come to slay?"

"Slain. The world is safe for now… And, I'm feeling pretty happy."

"What's up, love birdies? All made up?", Kennedy appeared, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yeah, Ken, I'm taking her home.", Buffy grinned back, feeling so happy she wanted to jump around.

Home wasn't something Faith was familiar with, but she wanted to find out what it would be like to have a home. Being with Buffy was what mattered. After all the time she'd spent fighting the idea of having a relationship, now she was ready for one. It wasn't even that terrifying… She knew that Buffy wouldn't let her down, not this time.

Their fingers entwined, two Slayers walked out of the club, and Kennedy said "Hallelujah!" and returned to the girl she'd been chatting to. She didn't want to disturb the Horny Two. She imagined they would probably destroy the hotel room…

She wasn't wrong.