So... someone writing this AU maid cafe fic inspired this little piece of crack. No, it's not supposed to make sense. It probably makes about as much sense as that damn "making of Kuro II" OVA... -_-
But I hope you get a few laughs out of this.

"Hello! Welcome to Starbucks! How're ya doin' today?" I saw Carolyn greet a customer that walked through the door, one who was not part of our usual morning fare.

He appeared to be one of those tight-laced business men, very polished, shirt pressed, shoes shined. What threw me off was the fact that his hair was coiffed in this devil-may-care look, which wasn't exactly congruent with the rest of his image.

I handed a finished latte to Ricky working drivethru. "Can I get a drink started for you, sir?"

He looked at the board momentarily, and stepping in front of the counter, a most peculiar grin on his face. "Yes, I will need several drinks, actually."

Oh great, I thought to myself, it's probably one of those drug reps who's trying to butter everyone up at one of those meetings. I press down a button on my headset to alert the shift, "Hey, we got a drink run in cafe, and I'm gonna need back up." I saw several cars whip through the parking lot to enter drivethru. "Yeah, back up quick, before Ricky has an episode."

He glared at me as he takes another order from the customer at the menu board.

Loreen came bounding from out the back, "I'm here, sweetie. Whatcha need help with?"

"Imma slide to cafe bar to handle this large order, would you keep drive thru moving?" I inquired.

"Sure thing, hun."

I slid over to the other espresso machine by the hand off station. "Carolyn, whatcha got for me so far?"

She scrambled to toss pastries into a handle bag, and the line behind this strange, tall man was beginning to build up. "It's a long order."

"Okay, fire away."

"I need a quad venti whole milk latte, a grande extra whip white mocha, six tall cinnamon dolce lattes..."

"Woah woah, six?" I looked at this guy like he had lost his mind. He reciprocated with the biggest shit-eating grin I've seen all morning. Kerri recoiled at the smirk on his face. "Okay... I'll get started on this..." Kerri finalized the transaction and my order machine spit out a sticker. I looked at it,

"Vt latte quad whole milk"

and up top it read "order 1 of 11."

I muttered through the headset to Carolyn, "Geez, you didn't tell me you needed a almost a dozen drinks."

"I'm sorry, this guy's just really creepy." She busied herself with the brew station. "He tapped me out of the last of my bold coffee too." She called over her shoulder, "I'll be with you guys in just a moment!" with as much cheer as she could muster.

I had milk steaming and shots pulling for that first latte, and the tall, darkly-dressed man walked over to the hand off. "Sir, you want me to put that white mocha in a venti to make room for extra whip?"

"That is very considerate, thank you."

I heard Carolyn whisper through the headset, "Oh my God, Tinnie, look at this guy's eyes..."

I looked up as I was steaming milk for the white mocha and see him staring me down with eyes that would make a female who was less head strong cringe from their severity. I stared back. "Here's the quad venti." I placed it on the counter.

He's holding two venti coffees. "Do you have a means for me to carry all these drinks?"

"Yeah, you're going to need some drink trays." I pressed the button to pull shots for the white mocha, and reached back for several trays. "Thirteen drinks?"

"Yes." He replied with a cold finality.

"Okay..." I started pouring milk for my six damn cinnamon dolces... He must have to appeal for some very important big wigs...

Carolyn called a soy light foam vanilla latte, and I tell Loreen that she'll have to work that into her drink queue. A couple cafe customers stood by, arms crossed, apparently irritated having to wait for this guy and his impossibly large order. I decided to make conversation, since I was gonna stand there working on this order for a while.

"So... you're not from around here. What brings you to our little neighborhood?" I chirped.

"Traveling."

"Business?"

"...Something like that." His lips curled.

Cinnamon dolce two of six is done, and I was beginning to feel the tedium of his gaze.

"Sebastian!"

I looked over to the door to see a kid had just entered the cafe and oh my God he's wearing the cutest outfit! Light blue frock with frilly cravat, mix matched stockings, shiny buckles on his shoes... he stormed over to the mysterious man by my bar, his tiny top hat askew looking precious despite the sour look on his face. "Where's my drink?"

I piped up, "What didja get, sweetie?"

He ignored me, "Sebastian, what's taking so long?"

"I do apologize, young master, but you know I had to order drinks for everyone in the troupe..." he looked as though his patience for this boy was already tried.

"You should have given these commoners my order first!" he rebuked.

Wow, what a brat, I thought. I decided to give this man a break. "Sir, if you tell me what the boy wants, I'll get started on it right now."

"I want my earl grey tea latte!" the kid piped up. "And don't talk like I'm not standing right here!"

"Be sure you add honey to that, ma'am," Sebastian (I suppose that's his name) requests. I see his eyes boring into the boy. "Young master, how about you go sit down while this young lady makes your drink."

He huffs and plops into one of the cushioned orange chairs in the corner. I get to the ticket for an earl grey tea latte. "He wants seven packs of honey in this?" I have to open all those damn honey packets?

I get to work, starting to get really irritated. "I'm working on your tea latte right now, little man," I called across the bar.

"Don't patronize me, woman." He folded his arms.

"I do apologize for his behavior, ma'am." Sebastian whispered, leaning over. He smells like rose, copal and ash, and for whatever reason I feel myself quivering. "He just gets cranky without his morning tea."

"Right." I've never known a kid to request tea. They usually want a frappuccino or something.

I walked away with a cup that has about half an inch of honey at the bottom (blech), secured a tea bag to the cup and fill it half way with water. My milk finished steaming and I top off the cup. "Okay, hun, I have your tea." Sebastian hands the cup to the boy who decides he would rather remain sitting.

He takes a sip. "You call this tea?"

"Sweetheart, you have to wait a few minutes for the tea to finish steeping."

"You mean I still have to wait? I have my cup and you're telling me my drink is still not ready? What is this tripe?"

Sweet Jesus, the boy's antics were gaining attention by rest of the customers. Loreen reached around me to hand off an iced passion tea to a woman who was more than relieved to get her drink so she could get the hell away from this madness.

I get back to finishing the cinnamon dolces, trying really hard to find something to discuss to ease the tension. "You mentioned a troupe. Are you traveling with several people?"

"We're with the circus."

"Oh yeah, I saw an advertisement in the paper... so you're a performer?"

Sebastian bowed his head slightly. "Oh sorts."

"So cool! What do you do?"

"... knife tossing." He didn't seem keen on discussing the matter.

"So, you're at the Coliseum?"

"Yes, but young master wanted to stay at a bed and breakfast by Tanglewood."

"Oh." This guy was beyond strange, and I had the feeling that there was a lot more to these people than what I was being told.

"Quit your chatter! We have important things to do!" The boy was getting on my last nerves.

I set a mocha down on the counter a little too forcefully. "Young sir," I pointed. "You will be patient while I finish Sebastian's order. Your complaining isn't going to make me finish these drinks faster!"

"Here, young master," he pulls a cookie out of his bag of pastries. "Your blood sugar must be low."

"Maybe that will shut him up," I muttered. Sebastian grinned at my comment.

One last drink, a raspberry mocha. I hate how the raspberry syrup seems to get everywhere...

"Ma'am, have you heard of missing children in this area?" Sebastian inquired.

I had heard of it. "Yeah... the neighborhood just a mile down... It was front page of the newpaper yesterday." Why this man was asking this question was beyond me, seeing as how a circus performer had nothing to do with the incident.

"Very well," he took his raspberry mocha and slipped it into one of his three drink trays. In some uncanny manner he managed to stack all the drinks on one another and was balancing the tower of my hard work with unearthly ease.

"Yup, you're definitely from the circus," I commented.

"Thank you very much, ma'am." Sebastian peered at me through heavy-lidded eyes, and my breath hitched in my throat. Yeah, he was a looker, but something about him screamed danger.

"Finally! We can go now!" The kid jumped out of the chair.

"How's your tea now?"

"Rubbish."

"Well, y'all have a wonderful day!" I said in my most saccharine tone.

Upon their leaving, we baristas breathed a collective sigh, happy to be rid of the two that had given us fifteen minutes of chaos in the heat of our morning rush.

"Loreen, Imma go have a cigarette." I pulled the head set off and stormed off the floor.

"Have one for me too, sweetie!"

In case you were wondering, yes, I work for Starbucks.
Leave your interesting and creative responses... or tell me what your favorite drink is. ^o^