Just something I came up with a while back. I'll likely remove this once Season 8 starts if my predictions are wrong, but what are the odds of that?
NOTE: Hayhay, King Worm, Adamshock, and Darkhark are other summoners.
The year is 2018. I sit with some friends to play League of Legends - Season 8.5, Version 3 (Browser Edition) REMIX. The console version is super buggy right now, so I might have to buy a new WiiNis to play that one. Shame, since the console-only Champion Mario Brothers was just released. I log in using my 72 character password and we all join a lobby. We start the queue.
It takes us 2 seconds to find a game. 1 person doesn't accept the queue and is instantly banned for 24 hours. Good to see Riot putting the Tribunal to good use. Ever since they revamped it back in Season 6, it's been favouring players who spend lots of RP, so I never get reported.
We finally get into Champion Select. Hayhay posts inappropriately-named Betty Crocker porn in the chat before instalocking Blitzcrank. Seeing my chance, I yell "top" into my microphone and pick Volibear. I decide to check out his Champion Profile, since they reworked him for my client. Looks like his abilities have been changed- the biggest thing they did was make his ult a toggle, where he deals AOE magic damage and auto-attacks stun up to 5 targets while it's on. Looks like the stun is only 3 seconds though; don't want to make him too OP. I check out his lore. "Is a polar bear". Fucking wow, they didn't just leave it blank like they do for every other Champion. Not to mention it's so in-depth compared to the other Champions with lore. Thanks, Phreak.
Hayhay takes Ghost and Snipe, so he must be going bot lane. No self-respecting Blitz goes bot without Snipe, and Ghost is interchangable with Tidal Wave since it got buffed.
King Worm notices the enemy team picked Tristana (He took Clairvoyance, so he can see their team before they lock in) and locks in Dragon. Smart move- the update last month made Tristana weak to Dragon-Type attacks.
Adamshock picks Tryndamere and calls mid, taking Clarity and Amplify. Must be going AP.
Darkhark decides to go jungle. I don't really care what he picks, as long as he gives me blue.
We enter the loading screen. Moving splash arts have been introduced, but only if you buy them for 1500 RP after buying the skin. As such, only mine can move. Hayhay's got Rock'em Sock'em Blitzcrank, which gives 30% bonus AD (OpieOP). King Worm's got Celestial Blue Eyes White Dragon, which gives max CDR and converts all extra CDR into bonus movement speed. He should be thanking me- he's only got that because I loaned him 6500 RP for it. Adamshock's using Beyblade Tryndamere, meaning his E can be held for up to 10 seconds and silences Champions. I look at Darkhark's Champion- Big Raptor. Nice- he's gonna have some great post-6 ganks.
I don't really care about the enemy team, but I do notice the enemy mid is Akali. Fucking retard- everyone knows Akali can't leave base for 10 minutes once the game starts. They must be new.
We jump into the game, and I'm given the choice of two starting items. Volibear's OP because he's a legacy Champion now, and if you don't have level 20 Mastery with him, you can't play him, so the game won't pull any builds off Mobafire and you can't build against him. Knowing I want to sustain, I take 10 Rainbow Potions and head top. My lane opponent is Talon. Baby shit. I press Control 2 to taunt him, forcing him to walk out of the Fog of War and into the middle of top lane. Since I'm at my tower, I use my Q and flip him into my tower, using Garrison to secure an easy kill and get First Blood. I get Level 6 due to Champion Mastery increasing EXP from Champion kills. Game secured, as long as my team doesn't feed.
Fast-forward 15 minutes. Akali is 26/0. She has not left mid lane. Or backed. I'm only 23/0- not good. I haven't had a reason to back, since Rainbow Potions refill every minute and give scaling health based on your level, but I need to stay ahead of Akali due to her global ult, Death Mark. I check mid, watching Hayhay land a sick curved pull around the minions. Instead of pulling her into him, he throws Akali over to Darkhark, who is killing Vilemaw. Akali kills him and dies to Vilemaw, scoring Hayhay a kill and an assist. Genius play- I take this time to steal our blue and roam. In the enemy jungle, I run into the enemy jungler, Small Krug. He sees me and runs, but my Q flips him over me and into our Nexus, where King Worm was waiting with his ult. Hitting Small Krug with AOE true damage (that scales based on your AD and CDR), he secures the kill.
I run back top and go under Talon's tower, taunting him and forcing him to run towards me. Once he's close enough, I use Volibear's E, which got a well-deserved buff in the last patch. Since it fears all units now, Talon's tower runs into mine, where it's destroyed in seconds. Adamshock comes out of the brush and uses Tryndamere's W, switching to his light form and knocking Talon up before using his passive, Last Breath. Kill secured.
40 minutes in, I take the inhibitor and one of their Nexus towers. Since we've got all their inhibs, all we have to do is destroy their other six Nexus towers and their Obelisk, then we've just got to kill Big Wraith and destroy the Nexus. I activate my trinket, Heart of Gold, and run into their towers. Heart of Gold protects me by covering me in a turtle shell, doubling my Armor and Magic Resist. I consume my Final Spark and upgrade my passive, causing it to activate whenever I take damage. I use my ult and break all of their towers instantly, since I'm so fed. Using my second Summoner Spell, Deathfire Grasp, I hit the Obelisk and tank it for 10 seconds. It destroys itself, and my team is already faithfully waiting at Big Wraith.
The enemy Gromp tries to stop me from backing, but I put Frenzy on auto-cast and bite him for 2764 damage, thanks to Leviathan reducing his Armor by 40. After backing, I buy a seventh item slot- that way I can get the Aegis of the Immortal that Big Wraith drops.
It only takes us 4.5 minutes to kill Big Wraith. That's 3 minutes faster than it usually does- probably because Hayhay was able to ult Vilemaw, silencing him before pulling him into Big Wraith pit. Darkhark used Big Raptor's ultimate, Banner of Command, and forced Vilemaw to attack for him while he went off to get blue buff. I pick up Aegis of the Immortal, granting our team the strongest buff in the game, Spooky Ghosts. Back in Season 7, they put Spooky Ghosts back into the game, but it was such a strong Summoner Spell that they changed it and made it a buff that grants 100 movement speed and 80% CDR. Using Aegis of the Immortal's active, I remove Darkhark's blue buff and give it to myself, removing the timer and making it a permanent buff. This also prevents blue buff from respawning in either team's jungle for balancing reasons.
We charge down mid and kill the entire team using Blitzcrank's Black Hole Punch, and we break the Nexus. In the post-game chat, I report the enemy Tahm Kench and am rewarded with 2000 RP. Looking for a real challenge, we decide to do the most popular, hardcore game mode in League of Legends- Ranked 10v10 Dominion.