Summary: Life and times of the seven sins. Dead people need no romance, so there is none. Mostly random.
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. If I did...I would be bathing naked in a tub full of money.
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Sinful Pleasure
It was a dark day in Underground Central. But, it always was
so it didn't matter. Lust, Envy, Greed, Sloth, and Wrath were
playing a competitive game of poker. "This is the third time
you delt a bad hand, Greed," Envy said with much anger. "Don't
blame me, I wasn't the one who brought us cards with kittens
on them," Greed said now staring at Gluttony in the corner.
"But kittens are delicious," Gluttony druled. "I swear Gluttony,
I'm going to get you some Jenny Craig," Lust threatend. Gluttony
now quiet in the corner, fed on the small mice.
Two hours later...
Lust, Envy, and Wrath were still at it in poker. Greed had
fallen asleep. Sloth was on the wine. "How many glasses have
you had, Sloth?" Lust asked. "Ha ha ha...Jewish," Sloth answered.
"Four Queens," Envy said with a grin. reaching for the pile,
Envy was stopped by one of Lust's nails. "Straight Flush"
Lust said with a smirk. "Old maid. I win!" Wrath said with an
innocent smile. But Envy fixed that with a back hand. The commotion
had woken Greed up. "That time already huh," Envy said. Time for
bed.
Next morning...
A hungry Wrath awoke to the smell of pancakes. Excited, he ran down
stairs to see Sloth cooking with a pink, frilly apron on. "Good
morning, mommy," Wrath ran over and gave Sloth a hug. "Ohh... not
so hard, mommy has a hangover," Sloth said with a look of pain on
her face. Wrath ate the food without question. Sloth had taken off
her apron and headed out the door. "Mommy, where are you going?"
asked Wrath. "Mommy has a mission to carry out for our master"
Sloth said with a gentle smile.
At the mountain's base, Sloth met up with Lust, Greed, and Envy.
"Where the hell were you?" asked Envy. Sloth had ignored the
question and began to walk up the mountain path. Lust, Greed, and
Envy followed...
Lust and Greed walked up ahead of Sloth and Envy. "G-Greed, are you
reading a bible?" Lust asked. "Yeah, I got it when we went to
Disney World, it was in the nitestand in the hotel. Did you know
that were named after sins?" Greed returned a question. "I think
you being a sin and reading a bible is an oxymoron," Lust
bluntly. "You're the only sinful one. I never killed anyone. But,
hey let me help you compensate for all those sins." Greed grinned.
"Oh, thank you," Lust said. Greed then smacked her with the bible.
"Sin, begone!" Greed shouted and smacked her again. "Oh, thank you
so much," Lust said tearfully. "I can do it again if you want me
to," Greed stated. "You must really care about me to help me like
this," Lust told. Greed smacked with his bible a few times after.
In the back, Envy and Sloth were listening to their iPod. "All the
pimps in the hood, drop it like it's hawt, drop it like it's hawt,
drop it like it's hawt. If a pimp try and get wit you, drop it like
it's hawt, drop it like it's hawt, drop it like it's hawt," Envy
and Sloth sang in unison.
Back in Underground Central, Wrath was being chased by Gluttony.
"Master, Gluttony is trying to eat me again." Wrath complained.
"Wrath, let me tell you the magic word to stop Gluttony." Dante
said. She walked in front of Wrath and was preparing to stop the
charging Gluttony. "...DIET!" Dante yelled. Just then, Gluttony
reached a full stop, shaking.
Lust, Greed, Envy and Sloth had finally reached the top of the mountain. There, stood a dark and dreary mansion. "What are we doing here?" Greed asked. "There have been sightings of another humonculus in there," Lust answered. They entered the mansion.
The inside was dark. There were two doors to the right and left
of them. "Alright, we'll split up. Greed and Envy, take the left.
Me and Sloth will take the right," Lust explained. They walked
through the doors they were assigned.
"A greenhouse..." Greed said with amazement. "Grass," Envy said
with little amazement. The room was a beautiful green. Plants
of all colors were aligned in pots. "Ducks!" Greed shouted.
"Those are peacocks," Envy shouted back.
On Lust's side, there was nothing that much better. "Where
exactly is this humonculus?" Sloth asked. "It should be in
here," Lust answered. Walking around, Lust noticed a plate of
cake on the ground. "Cake!" Lust yelled. While running to the
cake, she tripped and fell, sliding on her face. Poor Lust is
out. Sloth walked up the stairs. While walking she sees a
girl with blonde hair step in front of her. "Oh my god, it's.
Britteny Spears," Sloth said with anger. "You got it ho. I'm
the new humonculus." Brittney stated as she walked down the
stairs. Sloth quickly shot some water at Brittney but she moved
and threw a chair at Sloth. Sloth took in the chair and shot
it back at Brittney. Lust joined in and shot her nails at
Brittney. The nail stab her in the boob and air began to fly
out.
After Brittney was finished deflating, Lust unmasked her. "Jinkys, it's Anna Nicole Smith!" Lust and Sloth said in unison. "I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you pesky--" At that moment Lust shot a nail through Anna. "I hate cliched lines," Lust finished.
Greed and Envy met back up with Lust and Sloth. And the Group headed home.
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The End
This being my first story, please comment me.