AN: My poor excuse of a Ginzura drabble collection. Because I finally decided to try writing something more than gen. In no particular order. Have fun.
Pirates
Being in pirate cosplay is embarrassing. What makes it more embarrassing is being in pirate cosplay with someone else. Someone such as Space Captain Katsuura. Luckily, Gintoki only had to go through the horror once. That being said, he found himself in the company of such a horror on more than one occasion. Gintoki really doesn't see the point in doing something as stupid as dressing in a conspicuous costume while being a wanted man. He changes his mind when he figures out creative new ways of putting Zura's eyepatch and cravat to use. Pirate cosplay is still stupid and embarrassing though.
Delivery
The first thing Gintoki sees when he ambles into Saigou's okama bar on a (paid) delivery for a client is Zurako standing at the door greeting "Welcome~" in that dead serious voice of his. To make his job even more difficult, the okama there had to treat him like he was their long lost sister who had just returned from a long and difficult spiritual journey. The situation could only escalate further when one of the customers launched into a drunken rant, angered the (demonic) bar owner, and got thrown into Gintoki as a result. Gintoki made sure he got reimbursed for personal damages in the form of some room service provided by a pretty lady in purple.
Reminder
When Gintoki sees Katsura again, the other man is sporting a bandage over his left eye. "This, Gintoki? I would never have expected the Shinsengumi to pull their act together today of all days… What are you doing, Gintoki? Hm? How bad is it? The doctor says it will heal within the week. Gintoki! What are you- That hurts!" The silver-haired man refused to relinquish his grip until the other man promised to never let it happen again. Gintoki also refused to let him cover up the wound ("You should air it out anyway"). The incident was never mentioned again after that.
Infomercial
"If you call now, we'll double your order, for only $10 more!"
"And if you order the lime-cutter along with your purchase, we'll add in two more lime-cutters and a lime-juicing kit for free."
"Call now, before it's too late!"
Katsura glared at Gintoki as he took off his apron. "I can't believe you talked me into doing something so stupid, Gintoki." Gintoki smacked Katsura in the head with his own apron. "What are you talking about, I need the money! The client needed two people, and you know I can't bring that sinkhole with me, and Shinpachi's got his Otsuu concert… Besides, friends have to help each other out, you know?" Gintoki's dumb grin earned him an eye roll. When the client came to check up on them later, the filming set had become an apron war zone. Gintoki went home with a reduced paycheck that evening.
Umbrella
Gintoki wasn't usually one to forget his umbrella. On the occasional day when he does forget, shelter can always be found under Katsura's umbrella.
Tea Leaves
On a lazy summer afternoon such as this, Gintoki lounges on his couch and watches Katsura drink tea. "Zura, stop glaring at the cup. It didn't do anything wrong." The other man frowns some more before answering absently, "It's not Zura, it's Katsura. This is bad… My luck just turned bad…" Gintoki throws last week's newspaper at him. "What are you mumbling about? You're reading tea leaves? What are you, some housewife whose husband didn't pay enough attention to her? Stop it, it's annoying me." The hum of summer silence takes over again, until Kagura and Shinpachi return from grocery shopping.
Clouds
Gintoki doesn't mind cloud watching. It's calm, relaxing, and doesn't require any conscious thought. Sprawled out on the park bench, the day passes by without a hint of complaint. One day, Katsura sits down beside him. Gintoki idly observes the clouds drift overhead as he listens with half an ear to his companion's passioned speech about freeing the country and other matters. Somewhere in that droning monologue, Gintoki finds himself watching Katsura instead of clouds.
Time Machine
Seeing Katsura in a high ponytail, Gintoki thinks he's somehow accidentally triggered a time machine and gone back in time. That is, he thought so until he glanced through an open door and saw that monster of a duck ambling around in Zura's current abode. More like, he thought the duck was an evil Amanto out to kidnap innocent children. Which was why he had pulled out his wooden sword, ready to save that cute little boy from his untimely demise, because who was going to lead the Joui if Zura never made it though his kiddie years? Not that Zura would listen to him. That probably explained why they were currently on the ground fighting like stupid kids. Katsura spends the week nursing his sore scalp, and Gintoki swears off visiting, at least until Katsura gets rid of that mutated excuse of a duck.
Laughter
Everyone's laugh is different. Sakamoto laughs like an eternally happy idiot. Takasugi laughs like a madman. Gintoki laughs with the experience of a man who has seen a thousand suns. Katsura rarely laughs anymore.
Electric
Every time Gintoki drags his fingers against Katsura's skin, his electric touch sends shivers through his body.
Technology
For someone so entrenched in tradition, it seems strange that Katsura would choose to use bombs as his method of retaliation against the government. Maybe it's because they make a bold statement, or maybe because in this day and age, swords don't make much of an impact anymore. Or maybe it's because Katsura can always buy them off Sakamoto for cheap.
Maze
In the maze commonly known as life, losing oneself in the endless twists and turns and dead ends can be devastating, but Gintoki finds that as long as Katsura is with him, very little else matters.
Doctor
Doctor Sakata tells Zura that he is overdue for a full physical examination, and that if he didn't comply, he would be overcome with Disease X, which would result in a weakened immune system and let in lethal opportunistic bacterial diseases such as Disease Y. The examination and its results will be fully confidential, of course.
Glory
None of them joined the war to earn glory. None of them survived the war so they can be glorified. In the end, Takasugi is feared, Katsura glorified by revolutionaries, and Sakamoto has a different kind of glory. Gintoki is forgotten, and that is perfectly fine with him.
Broadcast
Once, when Gintoki asks Katsura out to dinner in less than roundabout words, it gets broadcast live on national television. It was a good thing then, that Gintoki's client was a producer from a relatiely unkown TV station, and most people had never heard of that TV station. Thus, Gintoki was able to go home relatively unscathed, and Katsura was spared from committing embarrassment-induced seppuku.
Go
Playing Go with the two of them always promises to be an interesting experience. One plays step by step with time-tested strategies, generations old. The other plays with reckless abandon, wild, unpredictable.
Uniform
He doesn't spare a second thought as he puts it on. He takes it off, mindful of injuries. He wonders what Zura would say if he had seen him.
Curry
Hot and spicy. That is the Red Curry Ninja. In contrast, the Yellow Ninja is mild yet flavourful. He carries plates of yellow curry rice, laced with laxatives. Where he got those laxatives, no one knows. Who cooked those plates of curry rice, no one knows. Why there is even laxative in those plates of curry rice, no one knows. Those are the secrets of the Yellow Curry Ninja.
Nurse
Every doctor needs a good nurse as his assistant. Together, they tackle the medical concerns of patients, be it big or small. This small partnership of medical professionals is sacred, built on deep mutual trust and understanding. Or so Doctor Sakata tells Nurse Zurako as he undoes the buttons on that really hot nurse uniform. Did he mention the nurse has really sexy legs, especially in lace stockings?
Map
Gintoki groaned. "I keep telling you, Zura, we're not lost. The road we're on just happens to have been dumped by her boyfriend the other day, see, and she's a bit emotional right now. You can't blame a poor sweet girl who got played like that. That's just cruel, Zura." Katsura squinted at the map. "It's not Zura, it's Katsura. Gintoki, you need to turn right- I SAID TURN RIGHT, YOU ASSHOLE, NOT LEFT!" He smacked Gintoki upside the head with the map. The scooter nearly swerved into a telephone pole. Gintoki yelled back, "What are you trying to do, kill us both? I've been telling you, you're holding the map wrong, Zura! With hair like that, there's no way you would be able to hold a map right!" Katsura wisely decided not to smack Gintoki again. "It's not Zura, it's Katsura! You're the one who gave it to me like this, Gintoki, so if you want to blame someone, blame yourself! Only you and your ugly permed head can commit a crime such as this!" Gintoki managed to avoid hitting a pedestrian. "The client was the one who gave it to me! And you're the one who volunteered to read it, so it's your fault!" Katsura unwittingly smacked the driver's head again. "Because you told me you're too lazy to read it, that's why! Why must you be so lazy, Gintoki?" The driver reached back and whacked his passenger. "Shut up, Zura! Why do you have to nag so much? You're not my mother! Dammit, I'll read it, so give it here!" They parked the scooter by the road and huddled over the map.
"Gintoki."
"Aah."
"This is bad, isn't it."
"Aah."
The client had accidentally given them a map to a maid café instead of his house.
Swamp
Being lost is a bad thing. Being lost in a swamp is a very bad thing. Having very bad things happen to people tends to make them angry. And when people are angry, they tend to put action before thought. That probably explains why Gintoki and Katsura are waist deep in swamp mud right now. It's not really Gintoki's fault that he slipped and fell into a mud pit. It also was not his fault that he pulled Zura down with him, because wasn't there a song about how you're supposed to lean on your friend when you're not strong? So really, it wasn't his fault. It's the fault of this murderous, evil swamp that's out to get him. And Zura's hair. Because Zura's hair is, and will, always be at fault. Therefore, it is logical to say that Zura's hair is the reason why they're currently stuck and can't get out of this mud pit, no matter how hard they try.
Gintoki could feel the wet mud climbing up his stomach. Mutant mud pits trying to eat you is really scary, so Gintoki ended up screaming things like "KAGURA! SHINPACHI! FAREWELL!" which earned him a slap to the head for nearly making Katsura deaf.
A few hours later, the mud pit was still slowly sucking them down. Having finally given up, Gintoki glares at Katsura's hair. "Zura, you're disgusting". Katsura tells him off for glaring and "It's not Zura, it's Katsura. You're the disgusting one, Gintoki. Look at you, you have bugs nesting in your hair." Gintoki switches from glaring at Katsura's hair to glaring at his face. "Look at you, Zura. You have frogs laying eggs in your hair. Apologize to the frogs' children, Zura! They're going to grow up in your disgusting hair thinking it's swamp vegetation when in reality it's actually your disgusting hair!"
They end up throwing mud at each other until a park ranger accidentally finds them and only fishes them out because in the dim evening light, he mistook Katsura for a woman.
Shampoo
Gintoki stared at the row of shampoos and conditioners in front of him. He wondered if using them would make his hair straight and smooth. But maybe he had to use them in a certain order to get nice hair. Maybe if he used them in the wrong order, they would fry his hair and make it more hopeless than before. Gintoki's fingers hovered over the shampoo labeled "Smooth and Sleek". They grasped empty air as a knock sounded on the closed bathroom door, followed by Katsura's voice asking him if he'd gone and drowned himself in the toilet.
Pothole
Even though Katsura complains long and hard about it, Gintoki makes sure to drive his scooter over every single pothole in his path, just to make Katsura hold on even tighter.
Childhood
Sensei is always in front of Gintoki, leading the way, but Katsura will always be running with him by his side.
AN: I lied. I wrote Ginzura childhood. But it's only one sentence.