AUTHORS NOTE: IMPORTANT! The following oneshot is based off of an amazing cartoon found on deviant art. .com/art/Twilight-He-Breaks-Rules-56370549 Hitaru-san, if you havent checked your mailbox please know that if you disagree then you can send me an email and i'll delete it, thanks!

Disclaimer: I dont own twilight steph meyer does

I don't own the cartoon hitaru-san does

ON TO THE SHOW!

Emmett POV

Finally! Hunting weekend is here, I thought excitedly. Time to take my revenge... I laughed maniaclly, oblivious to the raised eyebrows pointed at me.

Bella POV

Ahh! I thought frantically as I started hyperventilating. Emmet's laughing evilly again! The last time that happened he replaced my Debussy CD with the Spice Girls' first album! I shuddered, remembering that awful, awful, excuse for music. Edward stroked my hair soothingly. I sent him questioning look; wouldn't a mind reader know what he was up to? I sent him a classic 'Bella puppy-dog pout'. He sighed, and explained.

"Emmet's excited again because of our upcoming hunting trip during this weekend". I raised my eyebrow.

"Whenever he laughs like that, he's up to something! I know you won't let me come, but..." I bit my lip sadly. Alice jumped up eagerly.

"Don't worry, Bella! I'll videotape it for you! It'll be absolutely fantastic!" she jumped up and down again, smiling evilly.

"You saw what would happen, didn't you, sister?" Rosalie asked suspiciously. "Would you care to share before the actual performance?" she questioned.

"Nooppee!" Alice cried, popping the 'p'. "You'll just have to wait and see!" she grinned gleefully, fully anticipating what was to come. "And no peeking into my head, Edward Cullen!" she glared at her bronze-haired brother while reciting the Periodic Table of the Elements complete with it's atomic number, protons, valence electrons, and molar mass in her head. "And you can't look in Emmett's thick skull because he's singing the llama song, isn't he?".

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation and exhaled. As long as it isn't the bear incident again...

LATER THAT WEEKEND

Edward POV

"Edward, you, Emmet, and Jasper can head of towards the north. Rose, Alice, you can go towards the west. Esme and I shall head east. We'll meet back here in two hours" Carlisle ordered calmly.

"But-" Carlisle smiled good-naturedly towards his pixie like 'daughter'.

"You can get Jasper to film for you if it's really that important to you, dear" Esme cut in. Carlisle through her an appreciative look.

"Okay, thanks mom!" Alice whipped out her trusty video camera that had quite a history. It was named Camera 531-W because of the various cameras that had to be replaced over the years after housing many, many blackmail material. She leaped towards her soul-mate and handed him Camera 531-W, more commonly known as 'ellie'. "Make sure you get everything on tape! You should start filming once you pass the pine tree that smells like.. ugghh... bear crap!" she wrinkled her delicate little nose, took Rosalie's hand, and sped of towards their own meals.

After saying goodbyes and setting out, the boys trailed aimlessly until, as Alice predicted, found the tree that smelt of bear crap. Jasper quickly turned on the camera, and trained it on Emmett. Not five minutes later, a bear came crashing into the clearing they were in, and Emmett snarled at it playfully. Terrified, the bear clambered onto a giant spruce tree, scared.

Emmett smiled happily at the bear, revealing his shiny perfect teeth. "Hiya! My name is Emmett Cullen, and I think your mom killed me, so I'm going to kill you!" he smiled joyfully during the entire 'exchange' as if he was talking about Christmas.

Edward sighed, exasperated. This happened every single time they hunted. Emmett flexed his muscles, and licked his lips. Not a second passed before he pounced on the bear, and began to 'maul' it just as the bear did to him at least half a century ago.

"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN! Don't blame random bears for your death! How many times do I have told you it's against the rules?!"

"Oh shush, you prude!" Emmett playfully snapped. "You wouldn't know! Do you have the freaky ability to read DNA? NO! So he could be the child of that bad, bad bear!" Emmett's face stretched into a wide smile, pleased with his comeback.

"Actually, recent studies say that you-"

"Oh shut up! You seriously need to get laid! Belly Welly will be a vampire soon, but before then maybe you should go visit Tanya! Maybe that might make you shut up and be less of a prude..."

End

Author's NOtes:

Hoped you liked it, but it didnt turn out as well as i htought it would =( review please! oh, and about the camera: if you guys want me to create a new story about the vaiours blackmailing material, gimme ashout! it'll probably be over 100 chapters of oneshots! r &r plz!

xoxo

twilightotaku