Who I Am Hates Who I've Been, a fruits basket fanfic

Me: Hey everyone! I got this idea of a oneshot story from my thoughts in Science class.

Kyo: And were in hell does Science come up in this?

Me: -screams- w-where did you come from?!??!

Kyo: I have no damn clue. I was just pulled into here by sudden force.

Me: Well, if that's it, then you're stuck here.......-laughs evily-

Kyo: W-WHAT?!?!

Me: You heard me, my little feline. -pets-

Kyo: DON'T PET ME!!!

First disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, nor do I own the characters. They came from Natsuki Takaya's wonderful imagination.

Second: I do not own the lyrics to the song "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been". The song and lyrics are owned and sung by Relient K, not by Kyo.

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

All I could do was sit on the roof and think about the girl who has stolen my heart right before my eyes. That girl is Tohru. I could still the remember the first time I met her. I suddenly crashed into her room, wanting to beat the hell out of Yuki for the millionth time in my life. I can remember when I cut that table in half with these very hands and made her get hurt. I didn't even care about her. But that was then.

This was now.

I could still remember the comfortable silence that turned into tension between us exactly two weeks ago. I could still feel every touch....

Start of flashback

"Tohru?!" I yelled, making her literally jump into the air. "Were are you? I need to talk to you!"

"Oh, I'm in here, Kyo-kun!" said a happy Tohru, her smile just as beautiful than any smile he has ever seen before. "Why do you need to talk to me?"

"W-well," I started to feel a blush going across my cheeks, "I just really want to talk to you... Would you mind?"

"Of course I wouldn't mind! Do you want to go now?"

"Oh, uhm, sure..."

She smiled as she took off her apron and put the rice that was in her delicate hands in the rice maker.

"Where would you like to walk, Kyo-kun?"

"Well, I don't really care, anywhere you want to go."

"Oh! Can be go walking in the forest? It's a nice night. We can maybe go to the pond!"

"Yea," I said, getting a mild blush on my face. I felt myself smile as she took my hand. I blushed even more. I started to see a blush come across her face as we started walking side by side.

The first 10 minutes were silent minutes. But at least it felt more like a comfortable silence and not an awkward one. All I did was peer at her every now and then, and took in her intimate beauty. Her hair was a long, glossy brown, which swung just under her shoulders. Her face was the most delicate thing I have ever seen, with her deep, big blue eyes always glistening, even in the sudden darkness. She had the perfect frame, very slender and petite. Her hands were so small and fragile, but so warm and strong at the touch. Her smile was another story. Every time she smiles, I feel a softening come over me, making all of my anger or nervousness come out of me. I could drown in her presence, she was just so beautiful.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a role of thunder, following a sudden strike of lightening. I felt Tohru's hand suddenly come into my arm.

"U-uhm, K-Kyo-kun, I think it's going to r-rain, and you know how y-you get when it rains.." I heard Tohru say, chattering her teeth away. She was obviously cold.

"Oh, well...-" I was suddenly stopped by Tohru's little arms wrap around my waste, pulling me in closer than I ever thought I would get to her.

"I have something to tell you, Kyo-kun. I want to get this out.... I.....really think......" She was stopped by another flicker of lightening. She held on more. "I really think....I love...you..." She sighed as she got the final words out, her breath going all over my chest. All I could do was stand there.

"Your love," I began, "means nothing." When she registered these words into her head, she pulled back. She stood there, looking at the ground, for a few moments.

Then she ran.

End of flashback

Why was I so stupid? Why did I say that to her? I have so many questions to ask myself, and some will probably not be answered. I sit up here every night, thinking about her. Wanting her. Needing her.

It is unbearable. Right now she is probably in her hospital bed, fast asleep, with bandages on her head, cuts on her arms. The night she fell off the cliff shocked me. I ask myself every night whys and hows, but no answers come up. I always thought it was me who made her fall. She felt so much pain in her heart that night, she couldn't pay attention. I blame everything on me, and I know it was me.

I want to see her. I want to apologize. But I don't think it's a very good idea right now. She would probably get too shocked to talk to me, and will probably faint on her little hospital bed. I started to wonder about her, then wonder about my past. My past, I thought, such bad memories, getting picked on and yelled at....being accused of something I didn't do.....all those memories were horrible, except for the ones with Tohru.... I snapped out of my thoughts. All I could think about was one thing:

Could I still play guitar?

When I relized this, I jumped off the roof, went into the house, and took a pencil and some paper and ran to my room.

One month later

I held my breath, reviewing the things I was going ro say to Tohru when she got home. I thought about the plan. "Ok," I said to myself, "I need to just tell Tohru that I need to talk to her, whip out the guitar, and do my stuff..." Would it really be that easy? I don't think so, but I will try to get back to Tohru. For my sake. For her sake.

I heard the door open.

I saw her for the first time in one month.

"H-hello..." she said, more like whispered. "I-i'm back."

"TOHRU!!" yelled Momiji and Kisa at the same time.

"Tohru, it's wonderful to have you back here," said Yuki.

"Yes! Now we can go back to our wonderful meals our little flower used to make....ahhhhh, good times, eh, Kyo?"

I looked at him. He looked at me.

"Kyo, talk to her, i'll get everyone out of here."

Before his eyes, he felt himself walking up to Tohru. He saw fear and regret in her eyes.

"T-Tohru......Uhm...how are you feeling."

"I'm fine," she said with a monotone. Why was she suddenly turning into Hatori?

"That's great," I said looking at her head, since her face was looking at the floor. "Could you spare yourself a few minutes?" I asked her, still looking deeply at her now dull looking brown hair.

"Oh, sure," she said quietly, while being led into my room.

I sat on the floor, and she sat directly across from me. I picked up the guitar, and started the tune.

(A/N: If you ever listen to this song while reading this, listen to the acoustic version to this song. Trust me, It makes more sence.)

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

And this is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

She sat there, staring at me, her eyes peircing me. Her eyes welled up, and she flung herself onto me. "T-that was s-so beautiful, Kyo-kun....-" I stopped her, pressing my lips onto hers.

This was exactly what I wanted to feel this whole time.

She suddenly deepened the kiss, and my mouth opened a bit. She followed. My tongue started to explore her mouth. She followed, but she went slower. I felt her tense up a bit, but then slumped into my arms, and I felt her light body go on top of me.

"I love you....Kyo-kun. That's all I want you to know."

"Tohru," I said, my eyes starting to get welled up also. "i love you too, more than you will ever see...."

"OHMIGOSH! THAT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN SINCE THAT MOVIE I SAW WITH SHIGURE!!!!" screamed Ayame, who just barged into the room at the most horrible time ever. "KYO! WRITE A SONG FOR YOUR DEAR COUSIN, AYAME!!"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" screamed kyo.

----------------------------

Me: WALLA! There ya go!

Kyo: That last part was really dissapointing.

Me: Well, I wanted Ayame in this story, and I also wanted a bit of humor without overdoing it.

Kyo: YOU DID OVERDO IT! Ya damn wrighter.

Me: -hits with waffle- No cussing.

Kyo: -glares-