Yo! So I just had this sitting around and thought I'd share it. I wrote this, like, a year and a half ago or something.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!
Enjoy. (Or else!)
Neville Longbottom knows he shouldn't be angry. The war has been won; what was there to be angry at? There is no reason to feel like this, so Neville forces a smile and hopes it's convincing.
All around him people are hugging each other; laughing, crying, rejoicing; sometimes all three. Others are sitting quietly, seemingly surprised by the fact that they're alive. Or, maybe, surprised that so many had died.
Neville figures it's probably a mixture of both.
Neville is having trouble taking it all in. 'I'm alive.' he tells himself. 'Obviously.' his mind helpfully replies.
He leans against a wall, watching people run about. His hands clench at his side and Neville has to stop himself from punching the wall.
'Happy. I should be happy.' But no matter how hard Neville pushes his anger down, it won't go away.
'What's wrong with me?' he thinks, miserably. 'Gran will be proud of what I've done. I know everyone else is, they've told me. I can't think of anybody I'm mad at. Maybe…I'm angry at myself? But why?'
While Neville is contemplating this, Hermione Granger catches sight of him and heads over.
"Neville!" she calls out, shaking the boy-man, really- from his thoughts.
"Oh. Hello, Hermione. I see you're doing well." He says. His fake smile is firmly in place.
Hermione smiles and gives a small laugh, but it quickly vanishes. "I can't say the same for you." She tells him, looking him over.
Neville sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Is it really that obvious?" he asks.
Hermione shrugs. "Not unless you know what to look for. You seem…" she searches for the right word, "upset about something. Almost irritated."
It was Neville's turn to shrug. "I am feeling irritated." He admits.
Hermione leans against the wall next to him. "Do you feel like telling me why?"
Neville grimaces. "Sure; as soon as I figure it out myself."
Hermione glances at him out of the corner of her eye but doesn't comment.
They stand in silence for a few minutes, both thinking hard. It's not until Hermione puts a hand on his shoulder that Neville realizes he's crying. It doesn't take long for him to start talking. "I could have been stronger."
Hermione frowns at him. "What?"
Neville grits his teeth. "I could, no, I should have been stronger. I should have been able to save more people."
"Neville, that's ridiculous! You were- are amazingly brave. No one can deny that."
"I-I know, but… I'm just so angry!" Neville presses the palms of his hands to his eyes. "Why did this happen? Why did so many people die? Why?"
Neville wipes the tears from his eyes, though it doesn't help much, and looks at Hermione. "I know it's stupid and doesn't make any sense, but I'm angry at myself. I'm angry that I couldn't do better."
Hermione bites her bottom lip and waits for Neville to calm down a bit, before speaking. "Neville, you did the best that you could and that was enough. It was what we needed."
She tightens her grip on Neville's shoulder and made sure he was looking at her before continuing. "If you think you could've done better, good. That means you can still improve. Your best now helped win a war. Imagine what your best in the future will accomplish!"
Hermione laughs at Neville's surprised expression. "You are alive, Neville, and as long as you are, you can always improve. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don't regret your decisions, you can't change them."
Hermione smiles kindly at Neville. : I know it's hard. I know there's so much that you wish you could change, but it's just not possible. Figure out what you did wrong and don't let it happen again."
She pauses, choosing her next words carefully. "You are a brave man, Neville, and I know you aren't dumb."
Neville snorts and Hermione rolls her eyes at him. "I'm being serious. You've made silly mistakes, true, we all have, but you aren't dumb. I have a feeling that someday you'll do something even more amazing than helping win a war. I truly believe that you'll be a great man; better than you already are."
Neville shuts his eyes and runs a hand through his hair again. He sighs and looks back at Hermione. "Really?" he asks tentatively.
"Really." The girl confirms confidently.
Neville smiles and wipes away the last of his tears. "Thanks, Hermione." He says quietly.
Hermione laughs and pulls him to her so she can give him a hug. "Anytime." She replies into his shoulder.
Neville wraps his arms around her and squeezes as tight as he dares without hurting her. They eventually pull apart and grin at each other.
"Um, so…" Neville says sheepishly. "Sorry you had to deal with that."
Hermione shakes her head. "Many people are having breakdowns. Yours was one of the calmer ones I've witnessed."
"Oh. Okay then."
Hermione presses her lips together. "I should probably find Ron and Harry."
"Um, do you mind if I come with you?" Neville asks.
Hermione smiles at him. "Not at all. I think they'd like that, actually. Come on, I think they're outside."
Side by side they head through the doors.
LATER:
"I'm really embarrassed about crying, though. " Neville tells the trio, cheeks tinged pink.
Harry grins at him. "It's alright, Neville. It was just your Hufflepuff showing."
They all laugh at that.
Looking around, Neville sees Luna Lovegood and Cho Chang talking quietly by the lake. On the steps of the castle, he sees Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan staring up at the sky, small smiles on their faces.
He even spots Professor McGonagall bustling about, helping wherever she can.
'Finally,' Neville thinks. 'Finally I'm happy.'
THE END
I really wanted someone to have a breakdown, just a small one, and Neville came to mind. Sorry, darling.
I hope I got Hermione and Neville right. Tell me what you think, please! Reviews are greatly appreciated.
Anyway, I hope you people liked it.
Oh! And in the 'LATER' part, I wasn't dissing Hufflepuffs. Well, I wasn't trying to, at least. If I went to Hogwarts, I would totally joke about the houses and their stereotypes.