In the Cold of the Night

The cold air whispered softly against the bitter silence of the night. It was times like these that made Tonks feel further apart from her old self then ever before. She had spent the weekend at the Burrow, trying to rest from a hard weeks work at the ministry and had finally managed to escape Molly's sympathetic gaze, the one that brought every thought and feeling for Remus flooding back into her already overwrought heart. She sat in the Weasley's garden where the first formation of frost was settling onto the lawn.

The sound of shuffling feet walking across the grass brought Tonks out of her miserable reverie. She recognised the tread and the broad silhouette flickering from the waning moonlight drowned any fears she may have had.

'Remus,' she whispered softly, her voice catching in her throat. It had been months since she had last seen him, since he had told her he would be spending his time with the werewolf colony. She could feel his warmth as he sat down beside her. The gap between them was evident, like an invisible barrier barring their thoughts and actions. Neither moved any closer… yet neither moved away.

'Molly told me you were out here. It's too cold a night to be sat alone and in the dark.' Remus said quietly, his familiar voice breaking the painful atmosphere.

Embittered thoughts swam into Tonk's mind. It's his fault that I'm alone. But as soon as she gazed into his eyes her heart melted and tears slid down her cheeks. He stretched out his arms and she fell into them softly like they had never been apart.

'Nymphadora, you have to listen to me.'

No. The tone of his voice felt like a blade in her heart. He was going to do it again.

'No. Not again. Remus please…'

He turned his eyes away, not bearing to look at her. She clung to his robe, fear welling up inside her.

'Nymphadora, you have to hear me out.'

'Don't call me that…' She lifted her head forcing him to look at her.

'Tonks…' He said softly, taking her hand in his. The warmth that seeped into her from this simple physical action left her shaking with emotion. 'I have to go. You know how important this is. I have to try and get the ferals on our side. I can't let you get caught up in this not when I have seen things that no living being should have to see. You have to forget me.'

She opened her mouth to protest but he put a finger to her lips and softly quietened her.

'I know you are strong but I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you because of my kind-'

'They're not your kind! You're a wonderful man and I love you. I am not afraid. You forget that I am an auror and I have seen things that would fit in with peoples' worst nightmares. You can't do this on your own. Think of all the people we have lost; Hestia, Emmeline and Sirius. We need to be strong and the only way we can do that is by helping one another. I need you Remus and I'll be damned if you don't need me.'

He let go of her hand and turned away. 'I'm sorry Tonks. You deserve better. You should have a man who can give you so much more then I ever will. I can't just let you give your life up to me when you have so much more to live for. The war has taken so much from us already, you should take every moment of happiness you can find and run with it. Don't look back for me.'

'But every moment of happiness that I want to spend is with you!' Tonks cried, exasperated. 'Surely you know that I love you!'

His eyes were locked firmly to the ground. 'I… I shouldn't be here. The colony will know that I have gone. Please don't make this harder then it already is. You deserve so much more then me. Goodnight Tonks.'

Her sobs drowned the sound of his disapperation as all the pain she had felt over the last few months welled up inside her. Hours she sat there, until slowly the first rays of sunlight stole upon the horizon and with her tears spent she walked into the kitchen of the Burrow.