A/N: WARNING If you are reading this then you must read my other story 'Darkness of my Past' first or you wont have a clue what is going on here. It follows along the chapters 12-17 but as Darkness is from Raven's perspective this is now from Beast Boy's (aka Garfield). When I was writing those chapters I suddenly really really wanted to tell it from Garfield's point and what the hell he was thinking and so I worked on this. I also hope you are able to detect the difference in the two stories though really they are the same story (confused?)
To those who has read 'Darkness of my Past' and have come to look at this treat, welcome and enjoy!
As ever reviews are much loved EvilSis X
Words Unspoken
I'm sitting on my bed in the dark. Staring at the door where she has just walked through.
I don't know how it happened or even why.
But I do know when it suddenly hit me and the events that led to it.
As soon as I saw him I never liked that Malcolm Dragor guy. He was just way too perfect that it instantly makes you distrust a guy. With his radioactive blonde hair, good looks and clean cut suits, who wouldn't hate the guy? Ok maybe it had something to do with Raven even then but hardly. I'm not convincing you? Fine then I'll explain everything for why I did what I did.
I was bored out of my brain when I had gone round to Dick's work and got him to go visit Raven at work with me. I don't know any other reason but boredom for me to suggest it in the first place, because I hate going into Dick's work. The tallest building in the city looks menacing before you even go in and see all the stiffs in their shirts.
Anyway once I had finally convinced them I really did know 'Mr Grayson' it was easy for me to persuade Dick to snoop on Raven. And that's when we met the one the only Malcolm Dragor. Just the name makes me shudder. I had heard Raven talk about her boss with Kori but I didn't quite expect my instant dislike to him.
Trust me on this. I honestly don't know why I suggested for that guy to come for drinks with us.
"How bout you join us for a drink then?" it had just slipped out before I could think!
"We'll all be meeting up and it'll be great if you could join us Mr Dragor," Dick had added smoothly completely covering the surprise from my suggestion.
And the guy had actually agreed!
I couldn't stop myself from looking at Raven at that moment. She had her eyes fixed on Malcolm and anger that I just can't explain, like nothing I've ever felt before, boiled up inside me.
Before I could say anything Dick dragged me out of the building.
"Why the hell are we leaving?" I shouted as soon as we had stepped through the door, venting my anger on him unnecessarily.
"Calm down Gar" Dick simply said his voice annoyingly calm.
I tried to dissect my anger while we walked but I couldn't think clearly enough. I just knew one clear thing. I didn't like the guy.
"I don't trust him." I stated out of the blue.
"Why?" asked Dick.
"I don't know. I just don't." I huffed.
"Gar are you jealous?" Dick suddenly asked after a moment's pause, his eyes scrutinizing my face.
"What! Of that ponse? As if!" I scoffed.
Can you believe it? Me? Jealous? How could he think I was jealous of that guy? What was to be jealous of being a suit and looking like a boy-band reject?
Dick just shrugged and didn't make any further comment on it.
"I need your help to find out dirt about this Malcolm guy" I said scoffing at the name.
"Gar" Dick said exasperated.
"Come on I don't trust the guy and I need your help, if only to prove me wrong," I bargained.
"You're serious aren't you?"
"Of course"
Dick sighed, "Fine if only to prove you wrong."
"Great you're the best man." I enthused.
"Tell me about it" Dick grinned.
"So how do we do this?" I asked.
"Just leave it to me, come round to mine later."
"Done, I'll see you later."
I left Dick at his office building and went off to kill some time. I felt better about the fact that Dick would help me in finding about Raven's boss. I just knew there was something off about him. I just knew it in the pit of my stomach. And it was strangely a relief to know that we were going to find out. Whatever there was to find out.
I drove my pride and joy, my white mo-ped over to Dick's later that day. His mansion, sorry I mean his 'apartment', is situated in the upper end of the city where everything has clean straight lines and brilliant shinning windows. The apartment, three times the size of Vic's or Kori's together, takes up the entire tenth floor. It's the lap of luxury and yet has no personality and Dick hardly ever spends time there.
Dick was tense and serious as he let me in. Without saying a word he handed me a wad of papers. I scanned over the papers while Dick paced up and down. It looked to be background information on Malcolm Dragor and my eyebrows creased into a frown as I read.
"Is this all true?" I asked the still pacing Dick.
"As far as I can make out." he answered.
I couldn't even begin to think how Dick had found this all out in such a short time but he had. And what he had found out wasn't good. My gut rolled as I read and I could feel anger beginning to boil.
"We have to tell her."
"No wait we can't do that." Dick interjected stopping his continuous pacing.
"But look at all this," I protested brandishing the papers, "drugs, jail, god knows what else."
"Let me just talk to him first, we are meeting him for drinks after all" Dick said.
I frowned not happy that I had to wait. The relief that I had felt earlier and thought I would feel once we knew the truth, had turned to disgust and frustration. This guy was wrong of the worst kind and now Raven was an employee of his. I couldn't stand it.
"Where are we meeting?" I asked after a strained silence.
"At the 'Dragon's Den."
"Appropriate" I muttered, "fine I'll see you there."
"Wait Gar," Dick stopped me before I could leave, "I hate this as much as you do but let's not rush into any accusations."
"I know dude," I answered, though I paid little attention to his warning.
I left his apartment complex and tried to vent my anger through driving my mo-ped around the city. There is something so satisfying about shouting at other drivers when you're pissed off.
To wait and not tell Raven about her thug of a boss straight away was torture. I couldn't even master the energy in the video games with Vic.
The planned moment when we had these so called friendly drinks ticked slowly closer. And then finally we were at the 'Dragon's Den', waiting for Raven and Malcolm to arrive.
How I even managed to not go right up to him and show Raven what kind of man he was, I will never know. But I kept silent as he charmed everyone. It was disgusting to watch.
Dick soon took over and struck up conversation with 'Mr Perfect', keeping a small distance from the rest of us so that I couldn't hear what he was talking about. I tried to pay attention to the conversation I was supposed to be having with Vic but I was really running on auto pilot.
On the second round of drinks Vic challenged 'Mr Fancy Man' to shoot some pool, Kori following after them. Finally Dick joined our little circle.
"Well?" I demanded of Dick, as soon as he was out of ear shot.
"Something doesn't add up." Dick answered shaking his head.
A rush of what I can only think of as adrenaline, rushed through my veins and I was ready to get this out and make sure Raven had nothing to do with this guy ever again.
"What doesn't? What are you two talking about?" Raven asked in confusion, looking at each of us in turn.
"We don't trust him Raven there's something fishy about this Malcolm guy" I said in a rush.
After I said that well….let's just say it got messy.
Raven's eyes went cold and her voice was like steel with anger as she looked accusingly at us when Dick admitted into digging dirt up on him.
"…He's been dealing in some very serious stuff. Very illegal stuff." Dick tried to explain to her.
"What kind of stuff?" Raven asked her voice small and hesitant.
"Drugs for one thing and who knows what else. He's a thug Raven." I said.
I thought that maybe she was beginning to believe us but the look that I saw come into her amethyst eyes. The look of anger was like nothing I had seen before. Her voice, the voice that normally was always soft and soothing, was now low and harsh as she berated us.
"We're looking out for you Raven" I stated unsure why she couldn't see that for herself. My resolve in the argument was beginning to ebb away and I couldn't keep the firmness in my tone.
"Well you don't have to do that anymore" she hissed at me.
I couldn't think of anything to say, I couldn't even make my body move and I watched helpless as she walked away from me and out of the bar. I barely registered that Kori and Vic had noticed Raven rushing out and that guy leave following after her.
I stood trying to get my head to function again but her seething words were the only thing running through my head.
"Richard? Please why has Raven left?" Kori asked as she came over to us.
"Raven had to go, maybe she wasn't feeling very well." Dick answered not telling them the real reason.
"It looked like she was shouting at you Gar man" Vic said looking at me.
Dick couldn't answer and I had to break through my frozen shock state to answer.
"Yeah…we had an argument."
"Oh should I follow after her?" Kori asked, her normally sing song voice ringing with worry.
"No she'll cool down," Dick soothed, "let's just get another drink."
But I couldn't concentrate on anything anymore and the round of drinks seemed to take forever. An acute need to see Raven was beginning to rise to the surface and I was all too aware that that Malcolm had followed out after her. None of the others seemed aware of this so I had to steel myself and stay quite.
When it came time for us to leave I followed after Kori and Dick to the apartment Kori and Raven shared. I hoped that I would be able to see her. To see that she was ok and so that I could talk to her. I needed to see her. It controlled me as if I was possessed.
"Maybe you should leave it for tonight Gar and talk to her in the morning." Dick said his voice low.
Raven hadn't been anywhere in sight as we had entered the apartment and we presumed she was asleep in her room. Dick was trying to stop me from walking right into Raven's room and demand she talk to me.
"Oh yes Raven is most easier to talk to in the morning after her Tea." Kori said.
"But…but" I tried to interject, "she was really angry. I need to make sure that she'll talk to me."
"Leave it and come back tomorrow" Dick said more firmly this time.
I couldn't do anything but admit defeat and left. Slowly I made my way back to Vic's apartment hoping that I would be able to see Raven in the morning.
I never expected what a hell of day the next morning was going to bring.
I had meant to wake early and go straight over to Kori's and talk to Raven. But if you know me at all that's not what happened.
I woke late into the morning.
I made my way over to Kori's as quickly as I could get there. But all my rushing and reckless driving on my scooter was all a waste of effort.
"I am sorry Garfield but Raven when out with Richard and has not come back" Kori explained when she answered the door.
"Where is she now?" I asked stepping in.
"I am of the unsure. I did not want to disturb her."
I sighed heavily, defeated. The torture I had felt all night only continued. I practically threw myself down on the sofa and looked blankly ahead of me. Kori looked concerned at me before it evaporated and a smile spread across her lips.
"Garfield would you like to do the hanging out with me today?"
I shrugged my shoulders but when I looked at her and saw the hope in her eyes, I couldn't bring myself to say no.
"Sure Kor that would be great." I said with what I hoped to be enthusiasm behind my smile.
"Glorious! I will finish off getting ready." She beamed and bounced off into her bedroom.
I stared blankly ahead of myself as I waited for Kori. My head just kept churning and churning through thoughts I didn't want to have. What if Raven still didn't believe that Malcolm was a bad guy? What if she was with him right now? Was she even going to talk to me again? My mind kept lingering on that thought and a sharp point ran though my chest. I couldn't bear that, and it shocked me how strongly I felt about it.
A quick thump of someone knocking on the apartment door interrupted my thoughts.
"Garfield could you please answer that" Kori called through the bedroom door.
I sprang up from the sofa thinking that maybe it was Raven.
It defiantly wasn't Raven.
Two huge guys stood in the doorway, they were like gorillas. One was bald and just screamed danger. The other had thick greasy black hair that looked like someone straight out of a mobster movie with a name like 'Tiny Eyes' or something.
Before I could even utter the words "who the hell are you", the bald gorilla pushed his way in knocking me back into the wall opposite. I crashed into the little table there knocking it over as the two walked in bold as you like.
"Hey! What the hell do you think your doing?" I managed to shout after them this time, following in after them.
They both stood in the middle of the living room, looking around them. I looked anxiously at Kori's bedroom door still closed and moved myself so that I stood in front of it.
"Where is Raven Roth?" bald gorilla demanded looking down at me.
Raven? That threw me and the two thugs saw the shock on my face. They looked at one another before the black haired one pushed over the stand with the TV on sending it shattering to the ground. The sudden loud noise woke me from my shock and bald gorilla bent down to look me in the eye.
"Where is Raven Roth? He asked again, stressing out each word.
I thought quickly this time and answered, "I don't know who you're talking about. I don't know any Ra-"
The impact of his fist connecting with my face was enough to knock me to the ground. I could taste blood in my mouth and I knew that he had just split my lip. Two meaty hands pulled me back up by my shirt, pushing me up against the wall and holding me there.
"Look bub I'm only going to ask you one more time. Where. Is. Raven. Roth."
"And I told YOU I don't know any Raven. I'm the only one here."
His fist connected again with my face and he let me fall to the floor. He towered over me and I could see him shift his leg back.
"Duke is this her?"
The dark haired gorilla distracted the bald one so that he stopped his leg in its journey towards me. He looked behind at the dark haired one who held out a photograph towards him.
A photograph of Kori! God don't let them find Kori. I was still near to her bedroom door and I moved myself ready to tackle at any that moved close to it.
"No" bald gorilla answered before looking back down at me. I glared back at him still ready to spring back up off the floor.
"Trash it" he mumbled next and as soon as he had the dark haired one started to kick and smash anything that was close to hand. Bald gorilla still stood over me as if anticipating me to try and stop them.
"Be a good little punk and stay down" he said before he motioned to the other one. I watched still on edge as they moved out of the living room, the bald one still keeping his eyes on me. Only after the splintering protest of the door as they slammed it behind them could I relax. I slumped down where I was, sitting up against the wall.
Slowly Kori opened her door and peeked through; she saw me and came flying out towards me.
"Oh Garfield" she cried her hands fluttering out towards me as if to help but not knowing how.
"I'm okay Kor" I tried but I couldn't hide the wince as my lip stung when I talked. Now that the adrenaline was gone I was all too aware that my face hurt. I could already feel blood running down to my chin from my lip and the throbbing pain where his second punch had got the right side of my face.
"What…I don't….what did they want? I could not hear" Kori asked, tears already streaking down her face.
She didn't hear. She didn't hear them asking about Raven. And I don't know what made me decide this but I knew I couldn't tell her.
"They wanted…something. Money I think. We weren't what they were looking for."
"I called the police" she said wiping the tears off her face, her eyes already clear and focus. "I'm sorry Garfield I wanted to help but I…"
"No it's ok" I interrupted quickly reassuring as her delicate hands clenched into tight fists.
I was always surprised when it came to Kori. You could never underestimate her and I knew that there was a high chance she would have flown out of that bedroom and tried to take on those two thugs. I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I imagined Kori pummelling those two gorillas like some kind of Amazon woman. That was a fight I wanted to see.
Kori got some ice for my face as we waited for the police to arrive. The boys in blue took us to the station to get a statement from the two of us. While Kori was being questioned I phoned Vic to tell him where we were (Kori had already left a message for Dick) in hindsight I was probably a little bit too vague on the details. He was bringing Raven with him but I wasn't going to get to see them arrive as it was my turn to be questioned.
"So correct me if I'm wrong Mr Logan, but these two men forced their way in, damaged Miss Anders' possessions and left?"
This cop just wasn't getting it was he? And I was pretty sure I had said all this before an hour ago.
"Yep exactly" I answered.
"Did the men say anything? Why was it that they attacked you?" asked the cop, a stocky guy that looked like he preferred chasing after the bad guys then questioning someone like me, he looked uncomfortable in his black suit.
"Well technically it was only one of them that attacked me" I corrected smiling.
"Well why do you think the ONE attacked you?" the cop asked me again, getting a little exasperated by me now.
"They said we owed them money or something, I told them they had the wrong place and…well they didn't like that very much."
"And you're sure that was all they were looking for?"
"Yes" I answered firmly. My gut was telling me not to say anything about Raven and I was following it.
"Would you be able to identify the men again Mr Logan?"
"Sure" I could have identified those two ugly mugs anywhere.
The cop placed out a bunch of photographs out on the table in front of me that I had to shift through.
"That's him, that's the one that attacked me" I said pointing to one photo, "but I don't see the other one in any of these."
"Thank you Mr Logan this will give us the start that we need."
"Good so can I go now?"
"In a moment, we'll take you to where your friends are waiting for you now. Someone will come and speak to you shortly and then you will be able to leave." the cop said collecting up the photos.
"Ok well thanks I guess" I said not really sure if that's what I was meant to say.
"If you remember anything else about the incident, anything at all no matter how small, please contact us," the cop said his dark eyes intense on me that all I could do was nod, "Thank you Mr Logan, PC Greg will show you where to go now."
PC Greg walked me in silence to another interview room, which all looked the same to me. They were all there waiting for me and it wasn't long till Vic was shouting at me.
Saw that one coming.
"Look it's done, what can you do about it?" I retorted back.
That shut him up. But I didn't like the fact he had to point out that I had a black eye, funnily enough I knew that already. I couldn't get a clear enough look at Raven's face from where she was sitting at the interview table and it bothered me. I desperately wanted to know what she knew. I needed to talk to her, to warn her. These guys had been after her.
After what felt like forever of me continually reassuring Kori that I was fine, a little girl cop came into the room.
"Miss Anders, Mr Logan you'll be able to go home now but please contact us if you remember any further details. We also advise that you don't stay in the apartment tonight, there is a possibility they may come back."
Kori and I nodded in agreement to her instructions and I thought that would be everything and that we could leave. But I didn't like hearing what followed.
"We would like to speak to your room mate Miss Anders if you could pass on her details to us."
"Actually I'm here" Raven suddenly said standing up from the chair.
"Perfect, Raven Roth is it? If you could come with me we would just like to ask you a couple of questions. We won't take up too much of your time."
The little cop indicates the door to Raven and they walk out. I have a feeling I moved forward to follow after her but stopped when the door shut behind them. Why were they talking to Raven? Did the police already know but I had been so careful in not showing her involvement. I didn't even know her involvement myself!
The others made plans to head off home as another cop told us they needed the room and we were free to go.
"I'll wait for Raven, you go on ahead." I told them hovering by the front entrance.
"Ok man I'll take Kori and come back round to get you and Raven." Vic said as the three of them walked to the cars.
My imagination was getting the better of me, thinking that they were going to put Raven under protection and that we wouldn't see her, that I wouldn't see her. It was a relief when she finally came walking out.
Her face was set in that usual mask she always wears when she's under stress, angry, upset. So pretty much the stoic expression she always wears then. She didn't answer me when I explained to her where the others were.
"What did the police ask you?" I couldn't help but ask, my imagination was going to be the death of me if she didn't tell me what had happened.
"You didn't have to wait for me" she said ignoring my question. In fact she looked like she was going to plain out blank me as she hadn't even looked at me once as we stood there.
"I wanted to – Hey wait where are you going?"
"I'm going to the apartment" she answered over her shoulder walking briskly away.
"Wait I'll come with you." I said running after her.
"Do what you like" she said coldly continuing to walk at a fast pace.
I tried calling after her a couple of times without much luck, in the end I just kept my mouth shut. She was angry, that much was clear but I wasn't going to stand down on this. She was going to listen to me whether she wanted to or not.
Along the way I rang Vic to say that we would be at Kori's apartment not at the station. It meant that Raven was already in the apartment going through the damaged stuff and putting anything un-repairable into a black bin bag.
"Should you be moving stuff around?" I asked watching her move around.
"I don't care" she stated flatly, her voice giving nothing away.
"Raven I need to talk to you."
She did exactly what I expected her to do and ignored me.
"Raven stop that a minute, I need to talk to you its important." I insisted again.
Again she ignored me.
I sighed, god she could be frustrating and it left me with nothing but to say it out straight.
"Raven the men that broke in they were asking for you"
That stopped her and I could visibly see her body stiffen.
"Did you tell the police?" she hesitantly asked her voice now small that I had to quickly reassure her.
"No I haven't told anyone not even Kori knows. I told those thugs that I didn't know you."
She didn't say anything, just stood there frozen to the spot. I didn't know what else to do other then to plead to her.
"…they know who you are, where you live! Raven this is serious who are they! Talk to me."
I hadn't even realised that I had reached my hand out to touch her until she had knocked it away from her, crying out not to touch her. I stood shocked my hands still reaching out towards her like an idiot. But what shocked me more was the look in her eyes that I had never seen before.
Raven was scared. She was scared from the fact I was going to touch her. And now she couldn't look at me anymore.
"I want you to go" she said, her voice cold after I had demanded she told me what was going on again.
"No" I said back my voice just as cold and hard as Raven's had been.
She moved her hands up from where they'd been at her sides and for a brief moment I thought she was going to hit me. But instead she moved her hands up to her hair, the sleeves of her jumper rolling up her arms with the movement.
My eyes locked frozen on her arms. Without thinking about how she would react I grabbed a hold of her left hand to look at her arm more closely. There on her pale skin was a large purplish bruise going round one side of her left wrists with smaller dot ones, like fingers. My stomach rolled and it took all my will to keep my voice steady.
"What are all these bruises?"
"It's nothing" she lied, snatching her hand back from me.
.
"Stop that" I tried to say but my tongue felt thick in my mouth, "Stop pushing me away, I don't like it."
"Then you stop interfering, this has nothing to do with you!" she retorted.
"Nothing to do with me!" I cried out loosing the last remaining hold I had on my anger, "Is caring about you interfering?"
I stopped dumbfounded at what I was saying but my shock quickly turned back into frustration. I turned away from her and slammed my fist into the wall with a satisfying thump. I tried to calm myself back down, running my hands through my hair before turning back round to face her.
"It was Malcolm wasn't it."
She couldn't hide her emotions when I said that. A look of such hurt and betrayal that I felt my own heart twist. As if I had been the one that was betrayed.
"That bastard!" I shouted before I could stop myself, "When I see him-"
"Don't! Don't go anywhere near him!" she interrupted her voice giving way to slight panic.
"That bastard hurt you Raven! How can I..."
How can I not want to rip that smug look off his face?
How can I do nothing?
How can I not want to protect you…?
"He didn't come close to hurting me. I wouldn't let him." she said her voice low and threatening.
I couldn't bring myself to answer. A cold feeling, like numbness was moving through my body that I turned away and began to move towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Raven called out to my retreating back.
"I'm just going outside, Vic should be here soon." I replied not looking back at her.
I walked out of the apartment and then right out of the building all together. I just kept on walking and walking, my body already knowing where I was heading for before my brain had even registered.
I couldn't get the damn image of Raven's porcelain skin covered in ugly dark bruises and that scared look in her eyes out of my head. The numbness that I had felt before was beginning to ware off and I could feel my blood raging through me. This was anger like I had never felt before, like I was a completely different being all together. My eyes saw red and my thoughts cleared so that I became conscious for the first time of where my body had taken me.
I stood on the opposite side of that bastard Malcolm's office building watching him moving about his office. I had no sense of what time it was or even how long it had been since I left the apartment, but I knew that it was later then the normal clocking off time. There were very few people on the streets, everyone already moved on to the bar and restaurants.
I stood watching until he came out, turning his back to me and locking up the building. He still hadn't noticed me standing there.
Perfect.
I crossed over the road so that I was standing in front of him when he turned around. He jumped slightly when he turned to face me but that damn smug look soon came on his face.
"What? Has Raven sent out her watch dog?"
I grabbed hold of his shirt pulling him up the alleyway on the side of the building. I slammed him against the wall and held him there.
"You bastard I'm not going to let you get away with this!"
Malcolm laughed in my face and I'm pretty sure that I bared my teeth at him.
"Get away with what exactly? I've already gotten away" he said still smiling at me.
"Shut up!"
"You're honestly saying she didn't want it? She wanted it. She wanted me."
My fist connected to the side of his face. He took one look at me before his own fist crashed into my stomach. The air was knocked out of me that I lost my grip on him and doubled over on my self to my knees. While I was down his fist impacted on my face so that fresh blood flowed from the cut on my lip.
"That's a lovely black eye you got there by the way." He said stepping over me, about to walk out of the alleyway.
"It was you!" I shouted after him so that he stopped. Turning back at me he looked vaguely interested as I pushed myself back up again.
"It was you. You sent out those goons after Raven." I accused through gritted teeth.
"So the dog does have a brain!" he mocked, "but I'm afraid you're only half right."
"It's enough"
"So what are you going to do about it?" he taunted.
"This!"
My fist connected to his face a second time, this time making him stumble so that I was able to push him back further into the alleyway. He stumbled and turning back round tried to take another swing at me. But it was like I was that different person again, that I blocked his hit with my left arm and my right came crashing down on his face again so that he fell to the ground. I stood over him, not giving him a chance to get up, and my fist came down on him a fourth time. I pulled my arm back for the fifth hit only for it to stop halfway.
A hand held my arm in a vice like grip while another went around my other arm to pull me back and off Malcolm. I struggled against the hold, my legs kicking out in front of me.
"Let go of me! Let go!"
"Shut up you idiot" Vic's voice came from behind me that I realised it was Vic that had a hold of me.
"That animal should be locked up!" Malcolm spat at me, sitting up. Blood covered his face that I had to secretly smile to myself.
"You're not really in a position to be saying anything right now" Dick said stepping forward so that he towered over Malcolm.
"It was him! It's all been down to him!" I shouted as I stilled struggled against Vic. My arms being held in what can only be described as some sort of wrestling hold.
Dick seemed to think about this for a minute before crouching down next to Malcolm, who still sat on the ground staring daggers at me.
"You remember who I am, don't you Mr Dragor? And what power I have?" Dick said in an icy tone, a threat in every word. Malcolm stopped looking at me and gave his full attention to Dick.
"I don't know who's been paying you off." Dick continued, "I know your type and it all comes down to money. So consider this. Whatever amount they have said they'll give you, I will make sure you will loose three times that amount."
Dick stood up so that he towered over the bastard again.
"Oh and don't think I can't keep tracks over you. Trust me I can follow every single thing you do. Enjoy your life Mr Dragor."
And with that threat finished Dick turned and started to walk out of the alleyway. Vic finally let go of my arms but kept one hand on my shoulder so that I was forced to follow after Dick to the car.
"Damn you can be scary when you want to be" Vic said to Dick once we were all in the car, the two of them in the front, me in the back.
"Well someone's got to use their head."
"You shouldn't have stopped me. I would have-"
"Would have what Gar?" Vic interrupted me, "got yourself banged up that's what. Damn it Gar, Raven said you were going to do something stupid but THIS really tops your list of most stupid things."
The mention of Raven only distracted my thoughts for a second. My blood was still boiling and all I wanted was to go back and make sure that bastard would never look, let alone talk to Raven ever again.
I tuned out the voices of Vic and Dick and lost all sense of even being in a moving car. I just couldn't focus or calm myself down. Even though my body eventually stopped fidgeting, my hands opening and closing into fists, the numbness coming back to me. My thoughts still continued on to torture me with his words, her face, and his face, then back round again, over and over.
It felt like no time at all that we were at Vic's and I was being frog marched out of the car and into the building, Vic in front of me and Dick behind me. Honestly it was like they didn't trust me, that I would run back and finish him off. But then again I probably would have.
Vic opens the door and I follow in after him and see her. Reality comes all crashing down on me with her face, as if I could actually forget what I've just done, what I was going to do. I can't look at her. I can't bear to see the fear, not again, and I don't want to see the disappointment the anger. I walk ahead heading for my room, my eyes averted strongly to the floor. But my blood still boils and before I can even stop myself I kick a stupid table over that's near by. It loudly crashes to the ground but I'm not satisfied with it.
"Hey!" Vic shouted grabbing a hold of my arm before I can go any further, "Show some respect, you know where to go if you act like that." His anger was thick and heavy.
"...I know" I turn my head away from Vic refusing to look at him, at any of them, especially her.
I hear Vic sigh as he lets go of my arm and I move away from them and straight to my room, the door closing firmly behind me. I suddenly hate being in this place, being in my room. But I don't do anything.
I stand there looking down at myself for the first time and from the street lights outside I can see that there is blood on my white t-shirt. His blood. And I hate the sight of it; I nearly rip it off me, kicking the black shirt away from me, holding the t-shirt in my hands as if I'm going to rip it to shreds. But I keep it in my hands, staring at my bruised knuckles.
The last of my anger leaves me and I slump down to the edge of the bed. I can't stop staring at the blood and my knuckles. And right at that moment I don't even have the comfort of being numb. Its all there, all raw and I sit thinking why? Why did I do it?
The soft opening and closing of my door and Raven coming in can't even make me look up. And I realise I'm scared of what I'm going to see because of course she knows now.
"You idiot!" she shouted at me and starts on a long string of insults at me. Venting all her anger and yet I still can't look at her. How can I? I deserve every word, every put down and worse probably.
"How…?" she finally managed in a horse voice, "How could you think that this would help?"
"He hurt you" I answered and my voice is thick, as if it hasn't been used in months.
"But you're hurting me" she said suddenly, her voice heartbreakingly soft.
Suddenly I'm looking at her and I see it. See the last thing I ever expected. Raven is hurt and I did that to her. She speaks before I can say anything.
"To go out and physically hurt someone and for me to be the reason for it, hurts me more then anything Malcolm could have done."
She turns away from me and it feels like my chest has just been crushed. It feels like I shouldn't be able to breathe, that I shouldn't be alive.
I'm up before she can open the door and leave and my arms were around her shoulders, keeping her there with me.
"I'm sorry" I said, my face buried in my hair.
"I know" she answered, her voice hushed, the anger all gone, "you were trying to defend me in your own stupid way."
I tighten my hold on her, pressing myself against her back. The smallest flicker of thought that this feels right pops into my head before it's gone again. I speak her name softly into her hair and move her round so she faces me. I never realised how purple her eyes are and it's like I'm seeing her for the very first time.
She flinches away from my hand that I hadn't even realised I raised. I quickly took a step away from her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.
"Sorry" Raven apologised.
But the apology is unnecessary as I sat back down on the edge of my bed. I feel strangely calm and I feel it largely has something to do with Raven.
"Don't worry" I reassured to her.
Before I can say anything else, Raven walks out of my room without looking back at me. But I'm already lost again in my thoughts and that same question of why pops up again.
Why did I do all that?
Why did I feel so strongly? It was like no other emotion I had felt before.
And that's when it hit me.
"Oh Crap" I muttered to myself in the dark.
I was in love with Raven
'I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs. But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.' Fall Out Boy 'The (shipped) Gold Standard'