Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's probably not mine, or else I've become too predictable…
You are all going to be very pleased to know that this story is actually completed, which means no delays in posting! YAY.
This is a challenge fic, presented to me by the lovely twins Dusk and Dawn. This is the gist of it: A love triangle between Seamus, Oliver and Cedric. You can choose the main pairing. Side of adventure. I'm not I sure stuck to the requirements but it was Dusk&Dawn approved and so I hope you like it.
Plot: Have any of you seen the movie 'Were the world mine'? If you haven't, please do, it's a really wonderful film. Anyway, I've been hmm, shall we say, a little obsessed with it since I saw it. So after a little consultation with Dusk and Dawn we decided that a little 'Midsummer night's dream' was in order. This is loosely based on the film, but hopefully I managed to throw some original ideas into it.
Warnings: There will be some serious Ron bashing in this fic, I don't know, I just never liked that character, even though Rupert Grint did a quite a job at redeeming it... But not enough I guess... Any of you with a Ron fetish, please beware.
There will also be some strong language, and possibly gay sex. We'll see how it goes.
A/N: In this story the Dark Lord is no more. You may take a pick at how he was vanquished. In order to stop the house animosity Dumbledore decided to break the house teams, creating mixed teams instead and also stop with the inter-house rivalry for points. As a result most people are getting along just fine- which brings me to another warning- major OOC. Oh, yeah, and everything from GoF onwards- never happened.
After scanning the original Shakespeare's script, several times, I realized that the guys from 'Were the world mine' took the only decent line there. This name came to me while I was driving home listening to 'Pearl Jam' (not that they have anything to do with it, I just really like their music). Not very safe, I know, having being hit with ideas while driving but…
Beta: Dusk, who had to work very hard on this because I get my best brain waves around four a.m., and that means grammar- out the window!
F is for Feathers, Fairies and Flaming Homos-
Chapter One
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"Gentles, perchance you wonder at this show;
But wonder on, till truth make all things plain."
(Prologue, act V, scene I)
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"This is fucking unbelievable, I'm not doing it! This is bollucks! They can't make me!"
Seamus sighed. Ah, the sound of yet another Hogwarts year starting with the disgruntled voice of one Ronald B. Weasley. And to think Seamus had managed to avoid the red menace completely on the train ride over, and had missed the opening feast. But the bliss was over. Because, as they say, nothing good ever lasts.
For the last seven years, wait… make that five years Ron Weasley, the homophobic git, had been constantly bitching and embittering against him simply because of his sexuality. And what made it a whole lot worse was the inescapable fact they'd been forced to share a sleeping space, their dorm room.
It had been almost five solid years of making a show of not showering whenever Seamus was around, not getting dressed whenever he was in the room, and not letting Seamus have the benefit of the doubt and argue that he wasn't some slutty, I-want-to-fuck-every-guy-I-see sort of fag. Ron made it known to all who would listen that he was utterly disgusted by Seamus' orientation.
Weasley was also the one, although he never actually laid a finger on Seamus himself, responsible for nearly every beating Seamus got during his school days. A fact that brought him high on Madame Pomfrey's list of 'Boys I see way too much for my liking', alongside Harry. But these attacks have been made much more bearable with the help of Hermione and her Touch Repelling Charm, which formed a sort of repelling field around him to prevent skin contact. All these reasons only contributed to Seamus' hatred and resentment of the ginger-haired boy.
But this year was going to be different, Seamus decided, if only because it was his last year of schooling and come June he didn't have to lay eyes upon Weasley's ugly face ever again! But June was eons away from September and Seamus didn't have high hopes of Ron ever changing his attitude and stop insulting, taunting, harassing and verbally tormenting him, but then again Ron was never too creative with those expletives anyway. No, this year was going to be different because Seamus was different, and not just physically and magically.
For one thing, he was no longer a virgin, and for another, well, he had sex! And that brought him confidence, which he planned on wearing like a shield to deflect anything Weasley and the other narrow-minded homophobes tossed his way this year.
Seamus lowered his book and took a deep breath, bracing himself as the portrait opened and let in an influx of students, all chatting and laughing, still catching up after the long summer. The seventh year students spotted Seamus on the biggest, comfiest sofa closest to the fire and rushed over, happy to finally claim the spot as their own. After seating themselves comfortably in front of the fire they continued their summer stories exchange that was interrupted by the start-of-terms feast's announcements.
"Shey, you missed quite a dinner!" Dean announced as he plopped down on the sofa, giving Seamus just enough time to fold his legs away before they got squashed under his weight. Seamus shrugged,
"I wasn't feeling too well." He offered as a way of explanation, even though that wasn't entirely true. Over the years Seamus had developed a habit of missing out the opening of term feast. It was just his way of having a few quiet moments to himself before another year of hell started for him. He much preferred having the common room to himself for a few hours, reading and nibbling on whatever he had left from the Hogwarts Express sweet trolley. Without everyone staring at him, whispering at him and making rude comments about his preference. Seamus hated the fact that people defined him by his sexual orientation.
"Oh, you're ill Faginan?" Seamus grated his teeth, trying unsuccessfully to block out the voice of Ron Weasley, "That's so sad… And here I thought you were too scared to show your ugly, homo face around." Before Seamus had even time to contemplate ignoring the git, Parvati swooped over and placed a soft hand on his forehead,
"Are you alright, Seamus?" She asked in concern, and Seamus gave her a little smile. "You do look a little pale, doesn't he, Lav?" She called to her best friend. Lavender Brown walked over, running her eyes critically over Seamus,
"Yes, you do. Maybe you should go see Madame Pomfrey?" She suggested, but Seamus shook his head, somehow he didn't think the old matron would be too pleased at seeing him this early in the year,
"Lavender!" Ron cried out and Seamus had a hard time suppressing a smug smile. Having all these girls fawning over him, especially Ron's girlfriend was a great laugh and basically what made it all bearable, just by seeing how angry it made the ginger git.
"What?" Lavender turned surprised blue eyes at Ron, brushing locks of blond hair from her shoulder, "He's ill. You should let up a bit."
"But he's a fag!" Ron yelled back. Next to Seamus, Dean was making a 'What the fuck?' gesture with his hands, and Seamus shrugged, it was best not to try and understand the way Ron's mind worked, it could give anyone a mental hernia…
"You are such an ass sometimes, Ron!" Lavender snapped and made her way primly to the other side of the room, frowning at her homophobic boyfriend's comment. With Seamus all but forgotten Ron trotted at her heel trying to appease her with his lame apology and explanation. If Seamus hadn't found their antics sickening, it would have been funny…
"I'm fine," He said to Parvati, who still looked oddly at him, "Just one too many cauldron cakes on the train, I guess." He said brightly but she didn't look convinced. That was the problem with having a girl for best friend, they were far too observant for their own good! "So, what did I miss?" He asked brightly, trying to divert attention from his deteriorating health. Harry snorted from the armchair he was sprawled over,
"Dumbledore has officially gone around the bend!" He pronounced darkly. Seamus frowned at him a little,
"Yes, and it only took 400 years…" Dean added, when Hermione lifted her head from the book she was absorbed in,
"Come on, guys. It's not that bad. It could be fun…" She sounded a little unsure of herself as if she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.
"So is swimming in the lake in the dead of winter, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna do it!" Harry crossed his arms over his chest, not budging from his original point,
"True, but on this, you don't have a choice." Hermione reminded him with a grim smile. Seamus looked between his friends, feeling nervous about this predicament, what the hell was so bad that had them all bitching and moaning like that?
"What are you guys talking about, what does Harry has to do?" Dean laid a heavy hand on Seamus' knee, looking at his best friend with such intensity that had Seamus practically squirming,
"Not just Harry," He said gravely, "All of us. Including you."
"Gods, what is it?" Seamus could feel the blood draining from his face, and his heart thumping loudly in the silence that fell upon their corner. Dean took a deep breath,
"Act." For a full thirty seconds there was dead silence, until Parvati cracked and let out a small giggle, which broke the damn, causing all four teenagers to burst into hearty laughter. Seamus glared at them, ineffectively, before thumping Dean's shoulder,
"Oh, for fuck's… Dean you total bastard!" He cried, and the others laughed harder, hard enough to cause even Ron and Lavender to lift their eyes from their heavy snogging season on the armchair nearby. "What's so bad about acting anyway?" He asked with a shrug, if that's all that Dumbledore came up with, it couldn't be that bad, right?
"Well, as you know, there are eight magical schools around Europe…" Hermione began her explanation of Dumbledore's new plan,
"If you say so…" Seamus shrugged, and from the looks on the others faces he knew he wasn't the only one who wasn't privy of that knowledge, after all, the only ones he's ever heard of were Beauxbattons and Drumstrang.
"You are all illiterate idiots! Haven't any of you read 'Magical Education throughout Europe'?" She snapped, "Anyway, now that Voldemort is gone," She pronounced the dark lord's name slowly, enjoying the collective shiver that ran through her friends, "Dumbledore decided to promote inter-schooling unity."
"What, like that triwizard tournament?" Hermione snorted in dismissal,
"Gods, no! That's a barbaric tradition, people die in that sort of thing, you know." Harry leaned towards her, looking as serious as he possibly could,
"So, you're all for it then?" The others looked away sniggering, while Hermione fixed her best friend with a glare,
"Funny…" She drawled, "Dumbledore thinks the way to unite the schools and strength the bonds between them is through the theatre and arts."
"Meaning what exactly?" Parvati rolled her eyes, if it was left to Hermione to explain they'll be here all night learning about magical schools in Europe rather than hearing about Dumbledore's plans, she leaned towards her confused Irish friend,
"Meaning we have to put on a play. Each year a different school will choose an author and their works will be acted out by the hosting school." Seamus nodded slowly,
"How would that promote unity?"
"There will be a festival…" Dean said with an eye roll and a tone that indicated exactly what he thought of the idea, "At the end of the school year, where we invite all the other schools seventh year students to watch us perform and mingle."
"Oh, so it's just for the seventh years?" Seamus asked, he hadn't decided whether this was good or bad, but he was sure of one thing, if only the seventh year students were to act, that meant there was a much bigger chance he'd have to perform… A little flock of butterflies took off in his stomach, making him gulp a little.
"Yes," Hermione answered, "Since we're going to be leaving school next year this is the perfect opportunity to meet new people and make connections before we head out to the 'real world'." Seamus rubbed his forehead, wow, that was quite a lot to take in. having to act out a play in front of the entire seventh year student body from all over Europe…
"Oh! I completely forgot!" Harry cried out, straightening in his chair and causing the others to jump up, "Guess who's coming back!"
"Back from where?" Harry waved his hand in dismissal,
"No, back here, to teach!" Seamus looked at his friend's bright eyes and took the bait, knowing that this was what Harry had been waiting for,
"Who?"
"Cedric Diggory! And Oliver Wood!" Seamus felt like his heart was being squeezed tight, making it hard to breathe, the butterflies in his stomach turning to lead and dropping heavily to the pit of it. Oliver Wood… Of all the people Harry could have mentioned Oliver Wood was the last name Seamus expected to hear. It was one thing to admire the handsome Quidditch player a.k.a. sex-on-legs, from afar, have the occasional sex dream about him- alright, more than occasional… In fact, pretty much all of Seamus' favorite fantasies involved the sexy dark haired keeper, moaning Seamus' name with his thick Scottish accent and having Seamus running his hands over those gorgeous Quidditch muscles. But having Oliver here, alive and kicking and ever so close… Seamus wasn't sure if he could handle it. Taking a deep breath he tried to compose himself and drawl in his best bored tone,
"Really?" Dean nodded, sniggering a little, he wasn't fooled by Seamus' attempt of casualness, after all, one can't spend seven years being someone's best friend without knowing a thing or two about them. And Seamus' little crush was something he was all too aware of.
"Yeah, professor McGonagall decided to take a sabbatical and shipped herself off to Greece." Harry explained and Parvati giggled, covering her mouth with her hand,
"Can you imagine her on the beach in a stripy long legged one piece?" She quickly succumbed to her own giggling, spurred by the disgusted noises and snorts of laughter from her friends,
"Oh, Parvati, that was bad!" Dean cried, dramatically placing a hand over his stomach, "You're going to make me lose my dinner!" Seamus was mightily glad he'd missed dinner, the mental image was… Hmm, too much to bear… Once his friends clamed a little, Seamus decided to broach the subject, trying to get the full picture and get some answers along the way,
"So, Wood would be teaching Transfiguration?"
"Nope," Harry replied happily, "Cedric will. Oliver is going to be head of Gryffindor house, Quidditch referee and director of our little play." Oh, brilliant, Seamus thought, not only was Oliver Wood going to be head of Gryffindor house, he was also going to be directing the play, which apparently was mandatory to all seventh years… There was no escaping him…
"Oh, this'll be so much fun…"
"You don't seem too excited." Hermione observed, her shrewd brown eyes boring into Seamus and letting him know she was suspecting he was hiding something from the rest. Seamus never liked that ability of hers, it was downright freaky.
"Well, I hardly know the guy, do I?" He tried to smile, "I've never been into sports…" This sounded feeble even to his own ears. Luckily he was saved by Parvati,
"I think it's great. Oliver Wood is so dreamy! I want to have his babies…" She gushed, and Seamus had to fight a momentary urge to strangle her for even considering laying a finger on his man. His virtual man, of course, which would make it a lot harder to explain if he did strangle her…
"If he's going to be directing us the same way he was captaining the Quidditch team back in the day this is going to be sheer hell." Harry observed gravely, still remembering the days under Oliver's captain-age, and not too favorably.
"He can boss me around all he likes…" Parvati was still swooning, while the others rolled their eyes at her,
"You really are determined to make me lose my dinner…" Dean muttered darkly, and ducked just in time to avoid Parvati's slap to his head. Seamus, not wanting to be caught in the middle of their little cat-fight, was curling further to the edge of the sofa,
"Guys, please…" He cried. Dean gave him a cheeky smile while Parvati flipped Dean the bird. Seamus sighed, breeders… "So, what's our play going to be?"
"'A Midsummer night's dream'." Harry answered, and everyone groaned in despair around him. From the corner of the room Ron's voice carried out to them, full of scorn and malice,
"I bet you'd have liked it to be Oscar Wilde…" Seamus didn't even bothered with a fake smile,
"Sure, an Irish author would have been nice but I hear this Shakespeare fellow ain't half bad." He drawled sarcastically, making Ron's eyes narrow further, especially since the others seemed to find it rather funny,
"That's not what I meant, you sodding poo…" Dean straightened up in his seat, sending Ron a death glare,
"Thanks for playing, Ron; go back to your face sucking now!" He snapped. Before Ron had time to respond, Lavender took his face in her hands and brought their lips together again, effectively shutting the man up. The others sat in silence for a while, trying to come up with something to elevate the mood back up after Ron so effectively destroyed it. Seamus stretched out, pulling himself off the sofa and gathering his book,
"Well, that was fun. I think I'll head upstairs now." Dean sent another baleful glare at Ron's direction before he too rose to his feet.
"Yeah, me too. I'm knackered." He declared. Harry quickly jumped from his seat, nodding his assessment and the three boys made their way up to the seventh year dorm on top of the Gryffindor tower. Once inside the room Dean flopped on his bed, rolling onto his side to fixed Harry with his sharp eyes,
"Harry, mate, I know he's your best friend, but what a fucking arse!" Harry lifted his hands,
"I'm with you mate, he's a real tosser sometimes. I'm really sorry, Shey…" Seamus shrugged, sitting on his own bed and folding his legs under him,
"You don't have to apologize; he's the moron, not you." Harry gave him a sad smile, still feeling the need to defend his friend, and at the same time hating Ron for having to do so. "Hey, what's going with… You know who…" Seamus asked with a conspiratory wriggle of his eyebrows. Harry immediately blushed and Dean dropped his head backwards, laughing out loud,
"Gods, he messed that one up quite beautifully." He exclaimed. Seamus looked at Harry with pitying eyes, while Harry did his best to look offended,
"I did not!" He cried, "All I did was say hello!"
"Didn't we agree on the train that you were not going to say anything to her?" Seamus argued. It was clear to everyone who knew that Harry would not be able to keep his word, the man was completely smitten. It was sheer luck all he did was say hello…
"It was just hello. I was just being polite." Seamus and Dean exchanged a tell-tall look, and Harry huffed at them, "Oh, bugger off you two. I was just saying hello to Hannah, there's nothing wrong with that."
"No, but you know very well that she'll only reject you more if you keep fawning over her like a bloody stray!" Dean said levelly, now also sitting on his bed.
"Yeah, I mean, we all know the only reason you want her is because she doesn't fall at your feet like every other girl in this place." Seamus added. Harry sighed, why did they always have the same bloody conversation when it came to his fancying Hannah Abbott. It was rather annoying, not to mention, not… well, maybe a little true, but not true enough!
The door opened causing the boys to fall silent and in slipped a ragged looking Neville, who closed the door and leaned against it heavily and let out a hearty sigh.
"Can anyone tell me how the hell did I get chosen to be Head Boy?"
"You're the best Gryffindor has to offer…" Harry supplied with a shrug. Neville sneered playfully,
"Are you using this sort of lines on Hannah too? No wonder she won't give you the time of day…"
Harry's jaw dropped in shock. Spurred by Seamus and Dean's laughter he pounced on Neville, sending the laughing Head Boy to the floor and tackled him with his tickling fingers.
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A/N: Ok, that was chapter one. Just to explain a few things. Next time we'll start for real…