South Park Red Badge of Gayness Alt-ending

Chp. 1

Disclaimer- I do not own Stan Kyle Cartman or any other south park characters that appear here they all belong to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

What if Cartman had won? What would he have made stan and kyle suffer.

It had been a week since Cartman had succeeded in getting the president to admit the south won while they didn't get to become their own country it didn't matter.

Cartman had won.

Stan and Kyle had been dreading the hell they knew was coming they were Cartmans slaves and who knows what he'd do if they tried to back out. But Cartman hadn't so much as mentioned it to them and they were starting to worry what he might be cooking up.

They were walking towards shakeys pizza when they saw Cartman smirking by the front asked "What do you think fat-ass is gonna tell us to do?" Stan replied in a laughing tone "Probably ask us to go get him some tasty cakes so he can shove them into that fat fucking mouth of his." As they approached Cartman pulled out a list. "Well you gahs I have some tasks for the both of you I hope you've been enjoing the extra time I've let you have I just have been busy planing and plotting…"

The way he said it told them he didn't care if hey knew something bad was coming infact he wanted them to know…and to realise they couldn't escape.

"Now onto your tasks!" shaking stan and kyle from their respective thoughts. "Kahl your first task is to use your jewish money for a good purpose go get me some twinkies!" Both stan and kyle had to fight themselves to stop from giggling as stans prediction came true. Cartman either didn't notice or didn't care "Stan…dump Wendy." Stan turned white as a sheet.

"W-what? Come on!" stan nearly shouted.

"You heard me dump her unless you wanna back out of your agreement in which case you will be the laughing stock of the world within 24 hours and then kahl here will have to suck my bahls!." Kyle just glared but some part of him wanted to thank Cartman for making stan dump wendy he hated that bitch all she did was make stan feel bad about himself.

Stan reluctantly replied "Fine I'll do it…" putting his head down he went into shakeys pizza to find Wendy since she said she'd be there if he got bored…(which of course he didn't tell kyle who got mad whenever she was mentioned) Stan really liked the girl at least he thought he did but either way theres no way he was gonna abandon kyle like that cause he knew kyle would never back out of a deal with Cartman and give him more material to use against Jews.

"Hey Stan!" Wendy cheerily said as she walked up to him.

"Hey wendy we need to talk…" Stan said slow and quietly.

Wendy suddenly froze face turning red with anger. How did that girl know what he was gonna say before he said it?

"How dare you break up with me! You bastard! I hate you!" and with that she ran off. And then stan thought wait a minute…didn't she allways break up with him? He never once freaked out like that…and at least he had the decency to tell her himself instead of sending kyle or something…maybe he didn't really want to be with her after all…

As he walked back out a defiant smile on his face stan said "There fat-ass I broke up with her and rumors about me are probably already spreading…wheres kyle?"

Cartman currently sitting on the curb writing something while stuffing his face with a slice of pizza. "Huh oh good job go get me a soda…" Stan getting slightly pissed at the lack of attention he was being paid "I asked you where kyle was fat-ass now tell me" Cartman looked over like he had just noticed stan was there "Jesus don't get your panties in a bunch I sent your boyfriend to get the twinkas cause I was hungra now respect my fucking authorita and get me a soda!"

Stan had to seriously restrain himself from killing Cartman right there because if he did he'd be sent to juvi or some mental hospital and that would mean no kyle time…wait kyle time? Wouldn't umm being confined be the bad part of being confined? Not missing your boy-er bestfriend…god damn it Cartman was gonna pay.

At the grocery store.

Kyle was standing in line waiting to pay for fat-asses twinkies with his own god damn money but for some reason he was happy. Why? Because stan had chosen to dump that bitch instead of aandoning kyle to Cartmans fucking sadistic nature. He wanted to gloat in her face haha he chose me bitch! Hes mine!...wait he didn't belong to kyle…well sort of…they were just super best friends…right? He was shaken from his thoughts by the cashier. "That will be 3.50 please." He stuttered as he handed the cashier the money "h-here you g-go" and in his head all he thought was god damn it I sound like butters…

When kyle finally returned he found stan sittin shivering on the curb while cartman sat on his jacket.

"uh stan dude why arent you wearing your jacket?" Kyle asked throwing the twinkies at Cartman.

"Fat Ass said his ass was getting sore which isnt a surprise considering the weight its gotta put up with everyday…"

"Ay! Respect my fucking authorita! You guys are mah slaves and as such you will treat mah with respect!" Cartman yelled in his stupid forced accent voice.

"Oh yes master!" both stan and kyle replied in a heavily sarcastic laughing tone.

"Fine you guys don't get to hang out or even talk to each other for 2 days!" Cartman smirked.

Both boys stopped instantly two days wasn't a long time but when was the last time they hadnt seen each other for that long? Even when they were sick they'd still sneak over and hang out and when they were grounded they at least they saw each other in school.

"Come on Cartman we're sorry we didn't mean anything by it!" Stan said quickly trying to appease the hitler reincarnate.

"Yea Fa-err Cartman it might affect our scheduels as slaves if you separate us" Kyle added.

That was a good idea kyle had if Cartman thought it would benefit to have them both together then nothing would stop him stan thought way to go kyle! He was always the smartest in class so it shouldn't surprise him but it still often did.

"Hmm the jew makes a good point fine but you two are still gonna pay for anymore disrespect towards mah!" And with that he turned and shuffled home throwing the empty twinkie container in the trash.

What a fat-ass…