A/N: Hi guys! This is my first Grey's story, I just couldn't get the idea out of my mind, I had to write it down. Since it came out of nowhere, I still don't know if this is gonna be a one-shot or if it's gonna be a multi-chapter story.

Few things first:

The plane crash never happened, but Mark broke it off with Julia.

Things went a little differently when Amelia went to Seattle after the shooting.

This is set around the time Amelia visited after she got engaged to James.

Derek is not working in DC yet.

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Shadows of Remembrance

"If little by little you stop loving me, I shall stop loving you little by little…" Pablo Neruda

Mark was standing with Avery at the nurse's station discussing a case, when he heard Derek laughing and the distinct voice of Amelia Shepherd telling him to "be serious, Derek!" He couldn't help the smile that took over his features. He turned around and said "Amy! What are you doing here?"

Amelia smiled widely at him, raised her ring finger and said "I got engaged" yet, as excited as she tried to sound, they could detect the panic in her voice.

Derek, almost laughing, said "And she ran" It seemed weird to him that Amelia hadn't corrected Mark regarding the 'Amy' but he let it slide, she probably had other stuff on her mind, namely, the engagement. Maybe that also explained why she didn't hug Mark, they'd always been close and they hadn't seen each other since she came to Seattle after the shooting, why they didn't hug was beyond him, but either way, he had never understood them.

Mark shook his head, the smile never leaving his face as he looked at her and said "Because of course you did"

Amelia rolled her eyes in response "I'm here to see how Meredith and Derek manage to have a family and a career" She didn't miss the looks that Mark and Derek exchanged, so she added "Ugh! I can't with you two" then, she looked at Avery and told him "Where's the chief of surgery?"

Avery was not expecting her to ask him something. Besides, he didn't know what to say, so he stammered "Oh, uh… He's in his office. I guess"

Amelia grabbed her stuff and, as she left, said "See you later, idiots. I'm gonna get myself some privileges"

Derek yelled after her "Amelia don't you dare steal my surgeries!" but it was to no avail, she had already disappeared down the hall. All he could do was shook his head as Mark laughed at him and said "I'm so glad she didn't choose Plastics"

She had always loved Seattle, the rainy days suited her better than LA's ever-present sun. Look, she didn't go about her days as if someone had kicked her puppy, she joked all the time, she was sarcastic, witty, a firecracker. But that was how she dealt with her demons, if she didn't talk and joke constantly, she'd get trapped in her thoughts, and the only way to stop that head of hers? Drugs. So, yeah, she wasn't naturally sunshiny, like LA, that was a coping mechanism of sorts. Inside, she was more like a perfect storm, like Seattle.

Once she arrived at the Chief's office she knocked and went inside, she wasn't one to stay outside until someone told her to come in. She stood before him and said "Chief"

She could see that she caught Hunt by surprise, the confusion written all over his face as he tried to make sense of who she was proved it. But a few seconds later recognition lit up in his eyes and he smiled before saying "Dr. Shepherd I'm glad to see you. What are you doing here?"

Amelia shrugged and said "I'm visiting Derek" Then, she smiled innocently at him and followed up with it "But I couldn't help noticing that he has a lot of work, what do you say we lift some weight off his shoulders and let me help him?"

Owen could see where she was going, so he smiled knowingly and said "You told Derek about this 'help' you want to give him?"

Amelia's voice was dripping of sarcasm when she said "Oh but why would I say anything if all I want to do is surprise him with my generosity?"

Owen couldn't help but laugh at her antics, he shook his head and said "I'm giving you privileges, but I don't want any part in yours and your brother's drama" as he pointed a finger at her.

Amelia smiled triumphantly and sarcastically said "Please, what drama?" then she laughed with him and said "Thanks Chief, see you later!" and left the office. She changed into some scrubs and was walking to the nurse's station to see Derek's scheduled surgeries when her phone rang, it was a text from Mark saying "ER, Trauma 2" she knew what that meant and she couldn't be happier, Mark probably needed a neuro consult and instead of paging Derek, he texted her. She ran down to the ER before she could run into Derek, or worse, before he could get there faster than her.

When she arrived at Trauma 2 she smiled at Mark and said "What do we have?" as she checked the patient's pupils.

Mark winked at her and replied "Fell down a the hole of an elevator, he's responsive but I don't want to risk it"

Amelia nodded and said "Good call" then she turned to one of the residents and said "let's get him a CT"

It turned out that the patient had a brain bleed, while Amelia performed the procedure to stop it, Mark and Avery did reconstructive surgery on his face. Those who scrubbed in with them could see that this probably wasn't the first time they operated together, there was some sort of familiarity surrounding them and everyone could feel it, many of them felt like they were in a surgery with Derek and Mark, that's how normal it felt having Amelia there.

At one point during the surgery Mark said "Tell me Amy, who is this lucky guy that in a few months is gonna become Mr. Shepherd?"

Amelia rolled her eyes, she had been waiting for this, he had actually took longer to ask than she expected "His name is James, he's an ER attending, gorgeous smile, killer body-"

Mark interrupted her "-and?"

Amelia raised an eyebrow and said "and?"

Mark looked at her momentarily and said "Come on, Amy. There's gotta be something wrong with him, he can't be that perfect" amusement all over his tone.

Amelia was so focused on the task at hand that she absentmindedly answered "He's a Republican" She wasn't about to name any other oh his flaws, but that little tidbit of information seemed harmless.

Mark laughed out loud and said "What?! No way, and you're marrying a Republican?" spitting the last word in disgust.

But of course she forgot that she was talking to Mark of all people, he wouldn't stop at anything to make fun of her, so she decided to fire back with a little of her own venom. She shrugged and said "What can I say? He makes up for it in bed"

Mark answered "He can't be that good"

Without looking up from their patient Amelia said "I'd say he's better than you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings"

Mark laughed again and said "Please, no one is better than me. I can do a survey to prove it"

Amelia pretended to do some sort of math before replying "Well yeah, more women are gonna say you're better because you're a slut and have slept your way across America"

Mark rolled his eyes and sounded like an 8 year old when he said "I'm not a slut" except for the fact that it wouldn't be appropriate for an 8 year old to utter those words.

Amelia cleared her troath and, loud enough for the whole room to hear, said "Anyone in this OR that has slept with Mark Sloan raise your hand" She looked around for a bit and saw that no one had done as she asked, so she said "Come on ladies, if I wasn't busy I'd raise both of them" at that, a couple of nurses and the anesthesiologist raised their hands, so Amelia said "Thanks ladies" Then she looked at Mark and said "See? You're a slut"

Mark winked at those who had raised their hands and answered "Whatever, I'm a better lay than your fiancé and you know it" Then, with a mischievous grin on his face, said "If your memory fails you I have no problem reminding you"

Amelia pretended to ponder over his offer before saying "As tempting as that sounds, I don't think you'd be able to handle me" as a glint of wickedness shined trough her eyes.

In amusement and with the same amount of fire in his eyes Mark said "Is that a challenge?"

Amelia just shrugged her shoulders in response as a smile spread across her face.

Truth to be told, no one in the OR could figure out if they were serious or not, their banter seemed that of friends who loved to mess with each other, but they couldn't help but feel a hint of truth in the pair's words and actions.

Alex sat down in the cafeteria next to Lexie and Meredith. He pointed at the latter and said "Your sister-in-law is here" as he chewed a French fry.

Horror took over Meredith's face and she said "Which one?"

Alex kept eating his fries as he tried to remember the name of this one, a pensive look on his face "Mmm, the hot one. The youngest"

Meredith threw a grape at him "You scared the crap out of me! I though it was one of the others!"

Alex looked at her with confusion and raised his arms defensively "Calm down dude, they're not that bad. Besides, you should've known what you were getting into, they're related to Shepherd"

Avery heard the end of their conversation as he sat down, he said "Shepherd's sister? I was just in surgery with her and Sloan, they were flirting up a storm. If I didn't know better I'd say they're sleeping together"

Lexie remembered Amelia very well, after all, they had worked together on Erica's case and she had seen her and Mark making out in the halfway of his building a couple of years ago, back when she still had hope that she and Mark could work. But a lot had happened since, Mark had a daughter and she found happiness in her career, as cliché as that sounded it was true, of course she would always love him, but they were in different places and she wasn't willing to sacrifice herself for him. Yet, she was curious about this thing with Amelia, so she intervened for the first time saying "What do you mean if you didn't know better?"

Avery took a sip of his drink and said "I was with Sloan when she arrived this morning, told him she's engaged"

Alex snorted and said "That hasn't stopped Sloan before. I'd bang her, engaged or not"

Lexie rolled her eyes and said "Well, that's because you're disgusting"

Before Alex could reply Amelia entered the cafeteria and went to their table, excitedly she said "Mer!" as she got closer. Then she looked at Lexie and said "Hi Lexie!" Lexie smiled and waved in response.

Meredith stood up and hugged her before saying "Amy! What are you doing here?" She knew that Amelia was in Seattle and that she was engaged, but she didn't know exactly why she was there. Besides, she wasn't about to let her know that they were just talking about her.

Amelia raised her ring finger for what felt like the 100th time since James proposed and said "I'm here to learn from you and Derek. I'm engaged!"

Meredith beamed and said "Congratulations, that's great!" she was really happy for her sister in law, she knew that she had struggled with addiction, and even though she didn't know the details, she guessed it must've been very hard for her to deal with something like that. Besides, she knew how much Amelia loved Zola and Bailey, she always asked about them, and she was glad that her children had a good role model in their aunt. So she asked Amelia "Did you see the kids?"

Amelia looker around the cafeteria and answered "Actually, I came to grab something to eat and then I'm headed towards the daycare. I still have to see Sofia too.

"Oh. I'd join you, but I have surgery in 15 minutes"

Amelia frowned, gave Meredith a lopsided smile, and said "I didn't ask you to join me"

Meredith laughed in response and then sighed "I see you're still not filtering"

Amelia gave Meredith a huge smile and replied "Nope"

The rest of the day Amelia played with the kids and then took a nap in an on-call room. She was in the lobby waiting for Meredith and Derek, when she spotted them both walking down the stairs. She went over to them and once she saw the way Derek was looking at her she raised her hands defensively and said "Hey, I didn't steal anything from you, you were busy. The patient could've died, you know"

Derek rolled his eyes annoyed, he wasn't mad at her, she just drove him insane. He huffed "We both know that's not the case Amy"

Meredith laughed and said "Don't listen to him, he has stolen plenty of surgeries from me"

At Meredith's words Amelia looked at Derek and said "Ha! You're worse than I am!"

Meredith smiled at the siblings and asked Amelia "Are you staying with us?"

Before Amelia could answer, Mark appeared at her side, threw a hand over her shoulders and told Meredith "She's not" Then, he looked at Amelia and said "Dinner's on me, pasta?"

Amelia smiled, shook her head in disbelief, and said "You know me too well" she wrapped her arm around his side, turned to Meredith and Derek and said "Bye guys! See you tomorrow"

Once Amelia and Mark left, Meredith looked at Derek confused and said "Wasn't she here to see how we managed a family and a career?"

Derek shook his head in response and said "I'm not gonna pretend I know how her mind works" then he laced his fingers through hers and they went to get the children at daycare.

The drive to Mark's apartment was a peaceful one, she was tired from the long day. She had, after all, traveled halfway across the country and performed a 5 hour surgery in the same day. Once they got to the apartment, she kicked off her shoes and sat at a barstool in the kitchen, as Mark put on some music. Then, he handed her a cutting board, a knife, and a few potatoes and onions, she couldn't cook to save her life, but she could use a knife, she was a surgeon. They fell into a comfortable rhythm, him doing the actual cooking and her chopping the stuff he needed, anyone watching would think that they had been doing this their whole lives. Neither had said a word since they left the hospital, the air around them turned somewhat serious, gone were the jokes of the OR, each was lost in their own thoughts

Once the food was ready, Mark took the plates to the coffee table in front of the sofa as Amelia filled two wine glasses with sparkling water. They both sat comfortably on the couch and started eating the pasta Mark had made, halfway through the meal he said "You're not here to 'learn' from Meredith and Derek" looking her right in the eyes. Somehow, his tone didn't reveal any feelings, he just looked at her expectantly, like he knew what she was about to say. And he did.

Amelia shrugged and said "Well, that could actually be helpful. But no, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to get a divorce" she took a sip of her water, and tried to speak casually, as if they were talking about the weather, but she failed, he could detect a mix of emotions in her tone when she said "I can't marry James if I'm still married to you"

The second he heard the panic in her voice when she said that she was engaged he knew why she was in Seattle. She could've emailed him the divorce papers, but this was Amelia they were talking about, she had a tendency to panic and run when she wasn't sure of something. He almost kicked himself for feeling hopeful over the fact that she decided to make a trip across the country to see him, he couldn't help but feel that it meant that she wasn't done with him, that she was doubting her engagement because of him. But then reality set it, she probably was doubting her engagement because he cheated on her, she probably ran from getting married because she didn't know if she could do it again, and that was his fault. Yet, his hopeful side wanted him to believe that that was not the case, he needed to know how she felt, he tried to act as normal as possible, but she could see the mix of sadness and hope in his eyes as he said "You could've emailed me the papers. It's not like we have anything to settle"

Of course he would read her like an open book. He always had. He was the one that always got her out of trouble when she was a teen, he was the one who didn't stop talking to her after she overdosed and was dead for 3 minutes, he was the one she fell in love with out of nowhere, like he fell in love with her, he was the one she eloped with, he was the one she didn't talk to for years because he cheated on her with Addison, but he was also the one she called when she found out her baby didn't have a brain. He had been with her every step of the way. She couldn't stay away from him, and she guessed that it was because he was one of the only constants in her life, through the good and the bad, he had seen her at her best and loved her through her worst. Of course, he hadn't been her only love and she hadn't been his, they had been separated for 10 years, this was her second engagement during that time period, and he spent the better part of it either chasing after Addie or after Lexie Grey, asking both of them to marry him at some point. It was funny, how they thought about marrying other people but didn't ask the other for a divorce, after all, you couldn't marry someone if you were married to someone else. And if you asked her, she couldn't tell you why they hadn't gotten a divorce in all of those years. Maybe it was because it gave them some weird sense of security, that if everything else failed they'd still have each other, she felt stupid for thinking that if they divorced he wouldn't be there for her, because she knew that was not the case at all. It was something about saying that he was hers that stopped her from divorcing him, she knew that he stopped being hers years ago, but on paper he was, and she didn't want to lose that. She didn't want to lose him. That was it.

She knew him as well as he knew her, and him asking her about her decision to come to Seattle only showed that he shared her fears, after all, he didn't break their marriage off either. Her suspicions were proven correct when she asked him "Why didn't you file for divorce in all these years?" and he failed to answer and looked at the floor instead. She had no idea what to do with that information, she didn't even want to think about it. She grabbed their plates of unfinished food and set them on the table, when she was done he already had his arm up waiting for her to nestle under it and put her head on his chest. It was strange, how they never stopped being in synch, perhaps that's what 15 years of being in and out of someone's life did to you.

God, what were they going to do? They weren't in love with each other, after so many years they couldn't be in love with each other, could they?

"…My love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live, it will be in your arms without leaving mine." Pablo Neruda.

A/N: Thanks for reading! What did you guys think? If I have the time to continue, I will. I already have some sort of plot planned out, but I have to actually sit down and write the story. Also, I couldn't help but squeeze in a liiiiittle Slexie and a liiiiittle Omelia.