It was Christmas Eve and over the scenery of snow falling over in Toon Town, children were preying. The sound of Millhouse said, "I owe everything to Homer Simpson, though he slams the door on me whenever I come over while my parents are in parenting class. Please help him." Rod and Todd's voices said, "Joseph, Jesus and Mary. Help our friend Mr. Simpson." Homer's mom's voice said, "Help my son Homer tonight."
Up in the sky, all the stars came together and Krusty said, "Whoa boy! Homer's got himself in a pickle!"
Duff Man said, "Oh yeah! We should send an angel down there and have her help Homer out! With Duff Beer! Oh yeah! When in doubt, drink Duff!"
"You're right Duff Man! We should send someone down there! Whose turn is it?" Krusty asked.
"That's why I came to you sir. It's the clock makers turn!! Oh yeah! He loves Duff beer." Duff Man said.
"You don't mean?" Krusty said with a sense of nervousness in his voice.
"That's right! Peter Griffin! Come on down!" Duff Man said.
"But he has an I.Q of a rabbit!" Krusty yelled in rage.
"True. But he has faith of a child." Duff Man said.
Peter came over to them and said, "You wanted me?"
"Peter! A brave soul down there needs some help and I thought it would be good if you came down there and helped him." Krusty said.
"Splendid! Is he sick?" Peter asked.
"No. It's worse. At exactly 10:45, he's going to throw away God's greatest gift. His family." Krusty said.
Peter scoffed and said, "How do I do that? All I'm wearing is underwear. What am I going to wear?"
"You'll spend and hour with Homer getting to know him." Krusty said seriously.
"If I succeed, will I get my wings? I've been waiting for 200 years and the chicks still don't dig me!" Peter asked.
"What's that book you have there?" Krusty asked.
"Girls Gone Wild: The Novel" Peter said.
"If you do well with Homer, you'll get your wings." Krusty said.
"Oh sir, thank you! Thank you so much!" Peter said.
"Sit down." Duff Man said.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Peter said confused.
"Well if you're going to help him, you have to know him first don't you?" Duff Man said.
"Of course." Peter said.
"Well pay attention. See that town down there?" Duff Man asked.
"I don't see a thing." Peter said.
"Oh that's right. You haven't got your wings yet. Pay attention and you'll see something." Duff Man said.
They looked down below and saw Homer's child hood. It showed kids sliding down a hill onto the Ice Rink where the hockey players would play. "Yay!" kid Moe said as he slid down the hill onto the ice rink. All of the kids were cheering for one another and Peter asked, "Who's that?"
"That's your problem. Homer Simpson is his name. Now pay attention. You'll see this later on." Krusty said.
Kid Homer was at the bottom of the hill and he shouted, "And here's by ugly babysitter, Patty!"
Kid Patty was at the top of the hill, smoking a cigar and threw some of the cigar on the ground and slid down while coughing. "Why did I start smoking at 12? I should've waited until I was 21!"
When kid Patty got to the ice rink, she slipped through the ice and Homer rushed over and pulled Patty out. "And that's when Homer saved his baby sitters life. But ever since that day he got a sore ass ever since and it hurts when people touch it." Krusty said.
Then time shifted to a few weeks after Homer saved Patty's life. Homer walked into the store and put on his apron. "Who's there? Please don't rob me!" Abe said as walked out of his office.
"Who's that?" Peter asked.
"That's Abe Simpson, the second richest person in Toon Town." Krusty said.
Kid Homer said, "I wish I had a million dollars." He clicked the lighter and a flame sprung up and he said, "Woo!"
Homer walked over to the bar stool where Marge sat and Abe said, "You're late!"
"I'm sorry dad. I was outside with Barney and Lenny. We were playing marbles and…" Homer said.
"Enough!" Abe interrupted.
Kid Selma walked in and said, "Hello Marge."
"Hi Patty." Kid Marge said.
"You want a root beer float?" Kid Homer asked them.
"Yes please." Marge said.
"No thank you." Kid Selma said as she put out her cigar.
"I like him." Kid Marge said.
"You like every boy." Kid Selma said.
"What's wrong with that?" Kid Marge asked.
"Well if you like every boy, you're going to wind up with an alcoholic husband and be screwed for life." Kid Selma said.
Kid Selma started coughing and ran out of the store coughing more and more. Kid Marge faced Kid Homer and said as she pointed at Homers butt, "Is that the one part where you can't feel anything?"
"Yes. Whenever I go to the bathroom it's like a race out of my butt and everybody won!" Kid Homer said with a smile.
Kid Marge giggled and said, "Homer Simpson, I'll love you until the day I die."
"Homer!" Abe shouted.
"Yes dad?" Kid Homer asked.
"I need you to run across the street and get my vitamins." Abe said.
"Yes sir." Kid Homer said and ran out of the store and tried to avoid getting hit by any horse carriages. Once Kid Homer got into the drug store, he looked at a slip of paper that said, "Viagra" on it. Homer looked everywhere and asked Bender, "Excuse me, do you have any Viagra. I need it for my dad."
"I don't know if we have any. But let me check the back room." Bender said as he stepped away from his work station. Homer watched Bender walk into the back room and moments later, Bender walked out from the back room with a can of pills.
"What is it?" Kid Homer asked.
"Viagra." Bender said. "Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yes sir. Thank you." Kid Homer said as he rushed out of the store.
Kid Homer skidded into the store and rushed to Abe and said, "Here you go dad."
"What is this?" Abe asked as he took the pills.
"Your medicine." Kid Homer said.
Abe took 3 pills and said, "What are you trying to do? Leave! Now!"
Kid Homer struggled and Abe kicked kid Homers butt and Homer yelled, "Stop it! That's my sore butt!"
A time switch happened and it paused at young Homer in his 20's. He wore a fancy suit and Peter asked, "Why did you stop?"
"I want you to take a good look at that face." Krusty said.
"Is it Homer?" Peter asked.
"Yes it is." Krusty said.
The time frame continued and young Homer said, "Well boy's, we're going to make big money! We're going to make lots of cash at my brewery!"
"Your brewery?" Young Moe asked. "I think you mean my brewery."
"Why can't we all share?" Young Lenny said.
"Lenny has a point. We should all share the profit of the brewery equally." Young Carl said. "We can call it, 'T.G.I Fridays'"
Young Homer looked over at Moe and said, "I'm thinking Moe's Tavern."
Young Moe nodded and said, "We shall call it, Moe's Tavern."
Later that night there was a bunch of noise. "Keep that racket down!" Bloo shouted.
"Oh leave them alone." Abe said.
Bloo sighed and ran up the stairs and smacked young Homer and said, "Dinner time!"
"Damn it!" Young Homer said as he grumbled down the stairs.
Everyone was gathered at the table and Homer took some turkey and said, "You know dad, Lenny, Carl, Moe, and I are going to have our own bar one day."
"Your own bar? How are you going to do that?" Abe asked.
"You'll see! We'll have a dozen of customers coming every day to get drunk." Homer said. "And I'll finally ask Marge to marry me."
"Marry you? But what if you're not her type?" Abe asked.
"Don't worry dad, nothing will go wrong. Speaking of which I need to borrow some mugs." Homer said.
"Not my good ones." Abe said.
"Don't worry it's just for the brewery!" Homer said as he grabbed some mugs from the kitchen.
At Moe's Tavern, almost everyone in town was there. Calvin and his band were playing, "Shout" and Hobbes was doing back up singing. The place was packed. Dexter was in charge of lighting and Moe was in his outfit behind the bar. Homer walked up to Moe and said, "This place is packed! I've never seen a lot of people in one place." Homer said.
"The best part about this job is the free peanuts." Lenny said as he took a peanut.
"Put that down." Moe said. "The free snacks are for the customers."