Return to Total Drama Island

a Total Drama Academy spin-off story

by Lord Akiyama

Author's Note: This is a spin-off story taking place within the same universe as Total Drama Academy. It occurs during the first break period in Year One.

Just remember that the story is created under the assumption that Total Drama Action does not happen. Though I may consider throwing in elements that I like. Meaning this story should be considered alternate universe. Strange how that works, don't you think?

Total Drama and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

Chapter One

Doubleback

(Narrated by Chris McLean)

Fall in Camp Wawanakwa. The once lush green leafs that sprouted life from the trees are now brown and withering. The wildlife working hard to gather supplies for their forthcoming hibernation through the cold winter. The temperatures that were once warm were now beginning to dip to more cooler temperatures. Peace overtaking an otherwise scenic beauty.

But not for long!

For the next two weeks, drama strikes back with a vengeance. There is so much more to be done to fame-hungry and money-grubbing teens who are contractually obligated to endure the pain and suffering. And once again, this majestic island in the middle of Muskoka, Ontario will be the battleground for the emotional tension and physical carnage to come.

Ten of your favorite celebrity victims looking to extend their fifteen minutes:

Beth...

(A toilet is heard flushing and Beth runs up to Chris, having a trail of toilet paper stuck to her foot. Beth - "What did I miss?")

Bridgette…

(Bridgette gasps in horror upon hearing what the hot dogs in front of her are made of. Bridgette - "But… dolphins are our friends!")

Cody…

(Cody - "So… is Sunday out of the question?" Gwen twirls her paddle like a baton and rams it against Cody's groin. Cody - /Strains./ "Uh… got it…")

Duncan…

(Duncan - "The girl can't keep her antlers off me." Courtney kicks him in the groin. Duncan - /In a squeaky voice./ "Can't even bend over…")

Eva…

(Eva - /Fuming./ "This isn't the end of me! You better watch your backs! I'm not done! I'll get my revenge!")

Geoff…

(Geoff - "Beavers, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Beavers proceed to slap him around with their tails, causing him to scream.)

Izzy…

(Izzy - "You'll never get me alive!" Laughs hysterically and runs off with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police helicopter in hot pursuit.)

Lindsay…

(Lindsay is reading a magazine as she does her business, completely unaware that she is being filmed. After a full minute, she looks up and realizes she is being filmed and slowly hides her face behind the magazine.)

Owen…

(Owen - "Stay awake for twelve hours? I can do that in my sleep!" Cheers and then suddenly freezes before keeling over and falling fast asleep instantly.)

and Tyler…

(Tyler - "Oh, you're going down! We're gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we're gonna eat it!")

They will be joined by two attention-starving lunatics in Alejandro and Sierra.

Together, all twelve will be competing for a lucrative crash prize in the name of quality entertainment.

Excitement, drama, action, violence, fresh fruit, passion, thrills, spills, romance, adventure. All the things you can read about in a book. And they await our twelve contestants as they…

RETURN TO TOTAL…

DRAMA…

ISLAND!

(cue Theme Song)

In the beginning, there was no sound but that made by nature. The birds chirping, the bees buzzing, water gently swishing from one way to another, the wind blowing softly in one direction. Everything was calm and at ease. It did not last. Suddenly and almost in a flash, the roaring sound of a helicopter was present. The flying vehicle slowly came into a hovering position over an empty field of grass. Seconds later, twelve bodies were shoved out of one side and landed onto the ground with a thud. They were followed by twelve bags that dropped all around them. Moments later, the helicopter ascended upward and then quickly departed the scene. Leaving the twelve individuals lying on the ground to moan with extreme discomfort.

"This bites…" Duncan groaned as he sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh, why do we have to do this again?" Bridgette questioned with a sigh, pushing herself onto her knees.

"I didn't even get to try out my new Vespa," Tyler complained, not bothering to move from his contorted, lying position.

"That better not be someone's hand grabbing my right boob," Eva uttered darkly. Seconds later, Geoff screamed and bounced into the air, nearly crashing into Bridgette as he came down. Eva shot up to her feet with a vicious scowl on her face. "What the hell is the matter with you, party boy? Playing a never-ending game of tonsil hockey with your girlfriend not enough that you have to keep copping a feel of my boobs?"

"I swear, dudette, I'm not doing it on purpose!" Geoff cried, trying to hide behind the perplexed looking surfer girl. "I don't even want to cop a feel of your boobs for real!"

"O-M-G, I'm actually at Camp Wawanakwa!" Sierra cheered as she jumped to her feet. Then she started giggling wildly. "And I finally get to be with Codykins!" She then reached down and snagged whatever body part of Cody she could get her hands on, pulling it up immediately for a bone-crushing embrace. Too far gone in a lovely daze to realize that he was screaming as if she was killing him.

"She's got my leg!" Cody managed to say between screams. "I don't wanna lose my leg!" Fortunately for him, he did not have to scream any further as Beth grabbed him from underneath his arms and pulled. Seconds later, his leg slipped out from Sierra's embrace and the two crashed down onto the ground.

"What's the matter with you?" Beth asked Sierra in a stern voice. "Can't you see that you are scaring him?" She stopped when she noticed that the other girl was clearly paying no attention whatsoever to her. In fact, Sierra was now doing something extremely creepy. Beth watched almost in disgust as Sierra began sniffing the inside of Cody's shoe that happened to remain in her grasp after he escaped. Cody managed to catch sight of this and started to shiver in terror, curling up into a ball in the process.

"Más vale que valga la pena todo el trabajo…" Alejandro muttered quietly as he began brushing dust and grass off of his sleeves.

"I don't wanna be back here!" Lindsay cried helplessly. "It's all dirty and smelly and icky and nasty! And they put a camera in the potty!"

"Aw, come on, guys!" Owen stated joyfully. "It's not all that bad. A lotta fun things happened while we were here. Like the time we overcame our fears of stuff."

"Oh, I got a better one!" Izzy declared, hopping up and perching on the shoulders of her hefty boyfriend. "Like the time we had to camp out in the woods and I scared everyone on the Screaming Gophers by dressing up like a bear only for a real grizzly bear to show-up afterward! That was so cool!" The others appeared plenty afraid as they stared at Izzy and Owen cackling with delight.

Before any more could be said or done, a helicopter returned to the scene. This time, it slowed its descent onto the ground to stop permanently. Upon watching the vehicle touch down, the twelve teenagers groaned and finally gathered themselves onto their feet. They looked over, waiting for the inevitable of the host introducing himself. The propellers came to a stop and the door slid open. A long red carpet was rolled out onto the ground, further causing the campers to scowl with disgust. But when the host emerged from the helicopter, they were in for quite a shock.

"That's… not Chris…" Cody managed to utter in disbelief.

(Riker Hall Confession Cam)

Chris - /Sniggers./ "I would have joined the kiddies going back to Camp Wawanakwa, but the producers needed me to hang back for some boring, yet interesting meetings. So there will be a brand new host of Total Drama Island." /Sniggers some more./ "If you think I'm terrible to them…"

"Welcome back to Camp Wawanakwa!" the new host announced, stepping out of the helicopter and onto the red carpet. "And welcome to a glorious… Return to Total Drama Island! I'm your host, Blaineley O'Halloran!" The blonde woman was wearing her apparently signature red dress, red high-heels, and red earrings as she glided her way toward the contestants, all of whom were gobsmacked in shock at who they were now dealing with. "Ten recognizable faces and two debuting hopefuls are here to endure a gauntlet of pain, suffering, and torture, all at a chance to win a cool cash prize."

"We ain't exactly here by choice, lady," Duncan noted sternly. "It's only because we ended up with the rotten luck of eating super hot sushi."

"Yeah," Tyler cried, crossing his arms over his chest. "I just won a sweet amount of stuff and I haven't even had a chance to break them in yet."

"More like break them into pieces," Eva muttered under her breath.

"There can't possibly be anything worth being back to this dreadful place for another two weeks," Bridgette proclaimed firmly.

"I could think of five hundred thousand," Blaineley responded, speaking in a nonchalant manner while admiring her nails polished in red. In doing so, she was ignoring the sudden gasps that were heard from the campers, wondering if they had heard her correctly. She looked up from her nails and cleared her throat. "That's right, $500,000 await the lucky winner of your two week stay in Camp Wawanakwa."

"Half a million dollars?" Geoff managed to say breathlessly. "Dudes, that's a lotta dough!"

"Okay," Alejandro said, rubbing his hands together. "Now we're talking."

"Woo-hoo!" Izzy cheered wildly. "Five hundred thousand big ones coming to momma!"

"I wouldn't even know where to begin if I had $500,000," Beth uttered in awe.

"That would, like, make me the richest girl in the whole wide world!" Lindsay cried, bouncing up and down with joy. Completely oblivious to the wondering eyes of some of the male contestants, her boyfriend in particular.

"Alright, $500,000!" Owen yelled, pumping his fist in the air and nearly knocking Izzy from off his shoulders. "That's almost double what I won last time!"

"With that kind of money, I can finally make that life-size Cody doll," Sierra squirmed with delight. Unaware that she was continuing to terrify the object of her desire.

"Now that I have you all salivating of what could be yours, I think it's time we get this party started," Blaineley announced. "For the first half of this venture, all challenges will be straight-up Battle of the Sexes. Sierra will captain Team B-/censored/-ch and Alejandro will captain Team P-/censored/-ck."

"Wait, what?" Bridgette asked in shock. She was not alone as nearly all of the others campers once again gasped over what they heard. "Those are the team names?"

"Are we even supposed to say that on TV?" Geoff questioned, scratching the part of his head underneath his hat with a curious brow raised.

"Would be amusing if it were," Duncan stated with a chuckle.

"But still, those can't possibly be our team names," Cody noted.

"What is a p-/censored/-ck, any way?" Tyler asked with honest interest.

"Oh, fine," Blaineley said, throwing her hands up briefly and rolling her eyes in annoyance. "Should've remembered what whiny little brats you are. Girls will be… Team Cat… and boys will be… Team Snake. Happy?"

"Personally, I liked the other ones better," Eva muttered, again under her breath.

"Can the cats be kittens?" Lindsay asked, having raised her hand out of instinct. "They're more precious and adorably cute!"

"I should be on Team Snake," Izzy proclaimed in objection. "I own a real wicked boa that can swallow three times his size. He nearly ate Owen whole one time."

"Being in his mouth tickled," Owen giggled in remembrance.

"Snakes can do that?" Beth questioned, starting to shake nervously at the thought of anything being able to swallowing something as big as Owen whole.

"But… But I wanna be with Cody…" Sierra whimpered, just seconds away from bursting into tears. This still gave the techno geek little comfort, knowing this girl would likely do anything to be with him.

"Look, we got the team names and Sierra and I are the captains, " Alejandro stated in frustration. "Can we please get a move on? I'm starting to get antsy about how you plan on torturing us."

"As I was saying," Blaineley announced, bringing the attention back to her. "Alejandro and Sierra will be the captains, and are therefore immune from elimination through the first half. This is because of the mandate the producers demand we enforce that they experience as much of the horrors that you ten previously dealt with as possible. They wanted to be on the show so badly, they'll have to earn their stripes."

"So then what's your story, toots?" Duncan asked, raising a suspicious brow. He merely stared back when the host gave him a death glare in her initial response to what he called her.

"Yeah," Tyler began to say in agreement. "How come you're the host?"

"L-O-L, it's quite the story, really," Sierra replied. "Alejandro and I, like, managed to overhear recently that she was originally offered the hosting gig in the beginning, but she ended up turning it down because she thought it was beneath her. But then, and this is where it gets really interesting, Chris negotiated his way into being a producer and thus got to earn more money. That, like, really ticked Blaineley off since she ended up doing Celebrity Manhunt instead."

"Thank you for that illuminating explanation, Sierra," Blaineley stated through gritted teeth. She then tried to reclaim her composure by merely tossing her hair back. "If we can get back to the matter at hand of starting your first challenge. Today will be a non-elimination round, so be thankful you won't have a quick exit right off the bat."

"I'd rather have the quick exit," Geoff declared. "Playa Des Losers is so off the charts awesome, man."

"You don't get sent to Playa Des Losers when you're eliminated," Blaineley announced, a smirk forming on her lips as she spoke. The contestants dropped their jaws in disappointment when they heard this. "Too luxurious of a place to put the losers, really. Not to mention you kiddies would try to intentionally throw challenges in an effort to get off this rock and go straight over there. No, after consulting with the producers, I felt it would be so much better if we sent the losers to a more appropriate location. Boney Island."

"What?" all twelve campers cried in horror.

"That's right, once you're eliminated, you get sent to a cabin that's been recently erected on Boney Island," Blaineley proclaimed rather gleefully. "After watching the show, some idiot thought it would make for a great vacation destination and built a little place there. He hasn't been heard from ever since. But fear not, little ones, we'll have cameras situated all over the building so we'll know if something happens to you during your stay over there."

"That hardly makes it any more safe to be in at all," Bridgette nearly cried.

"I'm starting think that maybe we were better off with Chris as host," Cody uttered quietly.

"What's the big deal?" Eva questioned, clearly not bothered at all by what danger would await them at Boney Island. "Just a buncha dumb oversized rodents that inhabit the place."

"And they all get scared so easily," Izzy added, waving her hand in an unimpressed manner. "So I made a cool, giant bonfire. It's not like it was a nuclear explosion or anything." The initial silence from just about everyone else was supposed to inform her that they thought otherwise. She was either not aware of this or just did not care.

"But it's all dirty and smelly," Lindsay whimpered. "I think I, like, still have some of the quicksand stuck in my boots."

"I don't wanna go back there," Beth stated in an incredibly worrisome tone. "Don't you guys remember what happened when I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to take anything off of the island?"

"Not to mention you didn't necessarily do what you were told in returning the idol to the island only to instead break it into three pieces and tried to flush it down the toilet," Alejandro noted. Beth blushed slightly in response, clearly having forgotten about that part altogether.

"I hope there's a lotta tasty treats here," Owen said, unconsciously changing the subject to the relief of the other contestants as he rubbed his stomach. "I'm getting really hungry and I haven't had anything since Chris let me eat all of those delicious snacks before we left."

"You can eat once the challenge is finished," Blaineley responded, starting to tap her feet with impatience. "And let us get back on topic, if I may, so you can stuff your faces as quickly as possible. Now then, since this is a non-elimination round, it is obviously a reward challenge. The reward being first pick of the cabins and have tonight's dinner catered by Top Chef Canada runner-up Rob Rossi." The contestants began to liven up a little, murmuring among themselves what a delight it would be to have dinner served by an excellent chef for a change. "Otherwise, essentially all your dishes will be cooked by your new resident chef, Ricardo Balbone Montez de la Vasquez Asa Loca."

Blaineley pointed the campers over to the main lodge. There they spied what appeared to be a man of Mexican origin wearing a beat-up sombrero, had a huge bushy mustache under his nose, a dirty white shirt with the sleeves rolled up over his elbows, and half a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He was yelling something in Spanish, although even Alejandro was not even sure he was speaking proper Spanish, in such a way as to suggest he was arguing with someone. Only there was no one else there. He was speaking and cooking at an incredibly quickened pace while still arguing to seemingly nothingness about who knew what.

"Shouldn't you have made sure he cleaned up his language before coming here?" Alejandro asked with a brow raised. "Some of the things he's saying is definitely not right."

"Where'd you get this piece of work?" Duncan questioned. "Outside a Home Depot?"

"Not quite," Blaineley replied with a shrug. "I mean, we did pick him off of the streets and he was willing to work for cheap. What with the money that had to be paid for Mr. Rossi's services tonight. But enough about food!" Owen started to bawl in tears once this had been announced. "We have a challenge to execute. Today, you will all be competing in a game called Endurance Tag, a unique blend of hide and seek mixed with tag. Think of it more as an escape exercise."

"Escape?" Cody asked with a curious brow raised, something everyone seemed to be doing a lot lately.

"You have one hour to avoid any and every thing that comes out of that platform over there," Blaineley continued, pointing to a black platform that appeared almost out of nowhere between the two cabins. "At the start of the challenge, three ninjas will emerge from there and chase you all over the island. If they catch you, you will receive a specific form of punishment each ninja will perform. Upon receiving your punishment, you will be forced to wear a sticker on your person to signify that you have been captured by that particular ninja, and will be given one minute of immunity before another ninja can strike. Each ninja can capture you as many times as possible."

"Sounds like fun!" Izzy cheered with excitement.

"That sounds like crap," Eva retorted with a snort. "I take it we're not allowed to fight back."

"Fighting back will result in a very serious penalization, yes," Blaineley answered with a nod. Eva growled sternly in response. "And it gets better. After twenty minutes, two new ninjas will emerge and chase after the lot of you. Two more will be added every ten minutes thereafter until the one hour time limit elapses."

"That's eleven ninjas at most during the last ten minutes!" Beth cried in horror.

"Is that a lot?" Tyler asked in a baffled manner.

"Dude, that's whacked!" Geoff stated in shock.

"And you expect us to be running for our lives?" Bridgette questioned in disbelief.

"I don't like running challenges," Owen proclaimed sheepishly. "I get tired really quick."

"Wait until you receive the punishments," Blaineley noted, her smirk turning into a grin. "The ones handed out by the ninjas that enter later in the game get more harsh as time progresses."

"I hope they don't mess up my hair," Lindsay moaned. "It's, like, already been through so much damage since we got here."

"So how is this suppose to determine which team wins?" Sierra asked.

"Once the time limit expires, we'll tally up all of the punishments you've received," Blaineley began to answer. "The team with the least amount of total punishments win. As I noted earlier, fighting back results in a heavy penalty. Five punishments worth." The campers started to groan with displeasure upon hearing this. Five punishment tallies added would certainly be looked upon as a difference maker should the numbers get close. "If I were you, I recommend scouting out good hiding places and knowing how to get to each one quickly."

(Riker Hall Confession Cam)

Chris - /Still sniggering./ "That Blaineley sure is a piece of work, ain't she? Really sticking it to the kiddies on their first day."

"Once I blow this air horn, the ninjas will be chasing after you non-stop for one hour," Blaineley announced, holding up the object she had just mentioned. "Good luck… and may God have mercy on your souls. Begin!" She pressed the button at the top of the air horn, causing it to sound quite loudly.

In an instant, a ninja appeared at the top of the platform, as if jumping up from within. As he started racing down the ramp at full speed, the two other ninjas were released through doors that opened from either side of the platform. The contestants screamed in terror before turning and running for their lives as fast as they could away from their chasers. It was not long before one ninja caught up to Owen, who had no chance of outrunning any of the ninjas in a footrace. The ninja forced Owen into a bowing position before smacking him over the head with a slipper. Owen squeaked in pain before the ninja placed a sticker that read "Slipper" on his back. At least Owen would get one minute to at least try to hide in some way before the ninjas were allowed to attack him again.

(Camp Wawanakwa Confessional)

Owen - /Rubs head./ "Ow! That really smarts! I don't know if I'm going to do all that well in this challenge."

Alejandro - "I don't mind that the teams are boys against girls. What I do mind is when we partake in a challenge that is obviously one-sided. How in the world is Owen not going to get caught every five minutes? Strike that, every two minutes."

Bridgette - "This is absolutely revolting! In no way is this challenge fun! Running for our lives and trying to avoid ninjas that will pop up at every turn. It's horrible!"

Eva - "I really hate this game, you know. The whole point is to run away. Run away as though we were scared of these clowns. Why the hell would I ever do such a thing like that?"

Izzy - "Isn't this great? To defeat a ninja at anything, you must become a ninja yourself. Mastering the art of deception by hiding in places and in ways your enemies would not think twice about. Izzy will be the true ninja. Izzy can lurk in the shadows without ever being caught." /Cackles silently./

Blaineley leaned back in her chair, relaxed as she could be. The occasional yells, cries, and screams of the campers heard in the distance was almost like music to her ears. She had just let out a comfortable sigh when she noticed that someone panting was slowly approaching her. At first, she did not bother to look up. Then the person spoke. And it was someone she was not expecting to see on Camp Wawanakwa at all.

"Oh thank God, I made it!" the person proclaimed through heavy breathing and panting. "I didn't think I would have to swim so fast."

"Josh?" Blaineley uttered in surprise, opening her eyes and looking over at the other. Sure enough, there was a fairly young man with black hair that had silver highlights above the ears, wearing a tuxedo with a red bow tie that had tear marks all over, and was drenched from head to toe. "What happened to you?"

"For some reason, they stopped sending boats to the island," Josh began to explain as he continued to pant. "And all the helicopters were used up. So I figured I could swim to the island since we already know the area where the sharks are kept at. But I think they forgot to mention that there is apparently a genetically mutated shark that's now anthropomorphic. I actually had to run around the other side of the island to lose it before I could come here." He appeared to be on the verge of tears at this point. "And I've never been more happy to see you, Blaineley!"

"Josh, you are the most tolerable person I have ever met," he stated in a rather nonchalant tone. "But what the hell are you doing here? I thought you'd be happy running Celebrity Manhunt all by yourself."

"That's what I thought was gonna happen, too," he responded. "But it seems there's this poll that was conducted that people would rather watch paint dry and find it more amusing than me hosting the show alone."

"Well, when you put it that way," Blaineley noted under her breath. There was no telling if she was kidding or not.

"So they went looking for someone they could serve as guest co-host while you were here," Josh continued, almost uninterrupted. "Once I saw who they brought in, though, I told them I'd be off for two weeks and came straight here."

"Who did they bring in?" she asked curiously. When he did not speak and just merely looked her in the eyes for a full minute, she managed to figure out the answer and gasped in horror. "He… did… not…"

"Welcome to a very special edition of Celebrity Manhunt!" the guest host announced magnificently. "I'm your guest host for this week, Chris McLean! Here to show you how it's properly done, unlike those D-list wannabe hacks who wouldn't know a thing or two about how to properly entertain the people. We've got so much to talk about and in little time, so let's send it over to my guest co-host Chef Hatchet with our top juicy celebrity gossip of the week!"

"Thank you, Chris," Chef said, putting on his best attempt at a smile. It hardly looked anything like a smile and more like him just showing his teeth. "As y'all probably know by now, PETA has been picketin' the MTV offices for three weeks now in protest. They bin accusin' the network of animal cruelty against Snooki for airin' her on TV."

"That… a-/censored/-hole…" Blaineley muttered in fury. She then took a few deep breaths and calmed down, tossing her hair back in the process. "Okay, fine. He wants to play games, I'll be more than happy to take him on. That smug bastard thinks he's all that because he managed to turn this crap into a lucrative franchise. I can one up him. The drama produced this time will exceed that of those that happened under his watch."

"Oh, can I help?" Josh asked, getting on his knees in a begging position. It was almost as though he was turning into a hyperactive schoolgirl. "Please lemme stay and help. I won't be a disruption and I can be of valuable service."

"Hmmm…" she said, lightly rubbing her chin with one finger to think on it. "You do have a knack for making girls descend into cat fights when they don't even hate each other… And your cooking is rather decent, much better than the Mexican chef we picked off the road the other day…" As she continued to think, the distant sound of the Mexican chef arguing was heard for a moment. One would think that he might have picked up on what she said and was fuming in frustration, but that was an uncertainty unto itself. "Oh, what the hell. You be my personal chef and you can help me make sure these kids get violently dramatic on one another. Agreed?"

"I'm in!" Josh cheered, jumping to his feet. "This is going to be great. You and me doing something exciting for a change." He then started rubbing his hands and let out a quiet girlish squirm. "And all the cat fights I can't wait to see happen…"

"Yeah, yeah, we'll work on that in a bit," Blaineley stated, returning to her previous relaxed position on the chair. "Now fix me a turkey sandwich, will you? And don't forget to hold the mustard this time."

"Yes, ma'am!" he responded with a salute. As he turned and ran off to make her dish, a horn was sounded, signifying that twenty minutes had elapsed and two more ninjas were about to enter the competition.

(Riker Hall Confession Cam)

Chris - "Well, this oughta be interesting. Blaineley and Josh running the show their way. Although I do like that Mexican chef they picked up. Not too shabby, if you ask me."

"Owwie…" Lindsay whined as she entered a seemingly secluded area of the forest. She was rubbing her forehead, which was lightly turning red. "I thought when someone flicked a finger at you it would tickle. But that really hurt!"

"At least you haven't been bit yet," Beth said, who was a couple steps behind the blonde. "They might be wearing masks, but they still leave marks."

"I'd be more concerned of the possibility that he might have rabies," Eva grunted. It was not long before seemingly all of the girls were together in this one place, too tired to keep on running. Given the number of stickers they had on their backs, they've been caught plenty of times by the ninjas. "But for half a million, I'm willing to tough out anything."

"I have no doubt you would," Bridgette said through some light pants. She ignored the glare she received from the strong girl. "I just can't imagine $500,000 being worth all the trouble in the end. This is becoming more barbaric than last time and Chris was a horrible human being then as he is now."

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this," Sierra uttered. She spoke with a mixture of awe and excitement, hardly able to contain the joy she was feeling. "I'm on Camp Wawanakwa and I'm participating in a challenge! I didn't think I would be able to do this in a million years! Yeah, it hurts a lot, but that's what makes it even better. The pain is real!" The other girls looked at her with great concern and worry as the purple-haired fan girl bounced in place and squealed. She then suddenly came to a stop, as though she realized something. "Um… where's Izzy?"

"Who cares?" Eva responded with a snort. "Besides, she is probably having a blast being chased after by ninjas and trying to stick with her would only cause us to receive a whole lotta unnecessary punishment."

"But what if she found a good hiding place?" Beth quipped curiously. "One that we could all go to and hide out in until the challenge ends."

"I would, like, feel so much better if I knew where Iggy is," Lindsay noted. "I get so nervous not knowing what she's gonna do and stuff."

"Look, why don't we all just get a move on?" Bridgette suggested. "I mean, this clearing in the forest, while secluded, isn't exactly the safest place on the island to be in."

No sooner did she say this than a ninja appear suddenly from the bushes and grabbed her from behind. The surfer girl screamed in surprise and terror as she was being pulled away while the others bailed as quickly and as far away as they could. Curiosity getting the best of them, the remaining four girls placed themselves in hiding spots while also getting a good view of what the ninja will do to Bridgette. Eva was the only one not covering her eyes.

"I can't look!" Beth whispered in fear, anticipating something horrifying to happen. Moments had passed, but it sounded as though nothing was happening. It was rather quiet, actually.

"What the hell is this?" Eva suddenly raged quietly.

The other girls dared to look through their fingers to see what was going on. They were instantly perplexed, though they were probably not as perplexed as Bridgette herself. The surfer girl squatted on the ground, a bewildered look on her face, as the ninja executed his apparent punishment upon her. By forcing her to play jacks.

"I don't get it," Lindsay uttered in a low voice. "Is that supposed to hurt Brianna or something?"

"Maybe she gets punished if she loses," Sierra noted in a whisper.

However, it seemed that the outcome of the game was of little consequence. When the game was over, the ninja placed a sticker that read "Jacks" on Bridgette's back and then took off. The surfer girl was still as confused as she had been throughout, if not more so than ever. To simply put, this was indeed the strangest thing she had ever encountered during any of her stays on Camp Wawanakwa.

(Camp Wawanakwa Confessional)

Bridgette - /Still looking perplexed./ "That was… odd…"

Eva - /Frustrated./ "Is this suppose to be some sort of joke? You got ninjas that are trying to terrorize us, and then here's one that forces the dolphin lover to play jacks? Was whoever made up this game smoking crack?"

Sierra - /Gushing with excitement./ "This is, like, so amazing! I'm in the Total Drama Island Confessional! I mean, I'm actually inside of it and making a confession! This is so cool! It's like my dreams are coming true! Now I just need to have one dream in particular come true…" /Giggles like a schoolgirl./

Believing that Owen may have found a good hiding spot and with little else as an alternative, the rest of the boys joined him in a cave. The number of stickers on their backs indicated that they received a healthy amount of punishment from the ninjas. The number of stickers on Owen's back indicated that he got more an an ample amount. Which did not sit well with the others.

"Owen, may I suggest that the next time you're running from a ninja, consider farting at them," Duncan said through heavy breathing. "I'm more than positive it will buy you enough time to get away from them scott free."

"Dudes, this is so bogus," Geoff complained, rubbing a spot on his forehead that was slightly turning red. "That finger from that one ninja is harsh, man."

"I'd still take that over being bitten," Cody muttered, lifting up his left leg. "Did he have to bite so hard so as to rip open my clothes? It's bad enough when…" He paused and started to shudder. "… When she does it…"

"We're so gonna lose now," Tyler stated in a huff, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't wanna lose. Not after I won last night."

"Look, we'll just hide out here until the time limit expires," Alejandro suggested. "This is actually not a bad place to be in, giving us a lot of ways to keep out of sight of the ninjas."

"And they would never come in here," Owen said, still maintaining a jolly expression even after all the punishment he had received thus far. "Not since this is where Mr. Bear lives." Within seconds, the rest of the guys rushed out of the cave as quickly as possible, screaming as they did so. Owen looked rather bewildered at seeing the others bail the way they did. "Hey, guys! Where are you going? I thought this was a great place to hide in?"

"What's the hold up, Owen?" a familiar voice called from within the cave. "This game is so much better with multiple people playing!"

"Coming, Izzy!" Owen responded, his sense of worry and concern for the other guys washing way in an instant as he walked in happily to join his girlfriend and the grizzly bear in playing a video game.

"We're so taking down the blue team today, boyos!" Izzy declared in a cackle. The bear merely grunted and contorted his facial expressions as he played the game.

The rest of the boys continued to run for their lives, having ignored Owen's call that the cave was indeed safe. They were so afraid of the grizzly bear that they forgot about the fact that ninjas were hunting after them. They were reminded instantly of this fact when one tackled Alejandro to the ground. The attacking ninja was joined by two others as they hoisted the Latin newcomer to his feet and led him to a seemingly specific location.

"Oh, what now?" Alejandro grumbled in disbelief. Within seconds, he saw that the ninjas were leading him to his proper punishment. One that caused his eyes to shoot wide open in horror. "No. No! No, anything but that!"

"No way," Tyler commented quietly to the others, watching what was happening from behind a nearby tree. "He's gonna get that again."

"What did Chris call it again last night?" Cody asked in a whisper. "The chinko machine?"

"Dude, that's whacked," Geoff cried in a very low voice.

While it truly was the most terrifying device known to man, and man as in the male gender as opposed to mankind as a whole, the other boys watched with great fascination and interest. Alejandro was forced onto the device, placed in a standing position with his legs speed just far enough apart. Seconds later, the catapult-like lever swung up in the blink of an eye and connected against its intended target. Alejandro let out a screaming that echoed throughout the island and beyond. After placing a sticker that read "Chinko" on his back, the ninjas departed, leaving him to drop to his knees and cover his injured area with both arms.

"They keep this up and the poor bastard won't be able to make babies," Duncan sniggered.

(Camp Wawanakwa Confessional)

Alejandro - /Hisses in pain with ice bag placed over injured part, steaming coming off it./ "So I'll be subjected to a whole lot of pain just because I'm new… That's fine… I'll endure… I'll win that $500,000… Somehow, some way…" /Hisses again./ "Querido Dios, me duele tan mal…"

Owen - "It was great of Izzy to let me hide with her in the cave with Mr. Bear. He's actually not that bad of a bear, once you get to know him."

Grizzly Bear - /Continues to play video games despite being in a new location, tongue sticking out to one side./

Izzy - /Dressed as a cheerleader, speaking in a Russian accent./ "Natasha Blatzky has landed her biggest part yet. It's the role of Cheerleader Number Three in an episode of the Emmy-nominated Crime Scene: Barstow! Natasha has, of course, done some serious character work. She's not one to come to the set unprepared. She's developed an elaborate backstory for Cheerleader Number Three which, sadly, the narrative doesn't give her much room to explore. But that's what acting is all about. During her big scene, she snaps her gum in a way that only a Russian spy posing as a cheerleader could snap. And when she says, 'Oh, my God!' what she's really saying is that she misses her childhood in the tundra of Kamchatka, harsh though it was. But it's not until Cheerleader Number Three flips her pom-poms just so that we realize the truth. That this Russian spy is merely posing as a cheerleader as research for her role as Cheerleader Number Two in an upcoming episode of Crime Scene: Dayton!" /Throws pom-poms in the air and cackles, then instantly looks miffed with hands on hips./ "Turns out that Russian spying doesn't pay all that well, after all. Despite what it says in the brochure."

Thirty minutes had elapsed in the challenge and two more ninjas were added to the chase. One of the new ninjas was actually hiding within a pond that Lindsay was nearby. She screamed in terror when the ninja emerged, too scared to move before receiving her punishment, which was a hard slap over the head with an extremely wet and heavy seaweed.

The other ninja arrived in a car, chasing after a screaming Tyler until he ran smack into a tree. The ninja, which looked almost as big as Owen, stepped out of the car and gave the winded jock his punishment. An extremely hard slap to the face that nearly knocked him out. The punishment actually paled in comparison to having been chased by a speed car, leaving Tyler traumatized for the remainder of the challenge.

Forty minutes had elapsed and two more ninjas were added. One chased after Duncan before finally cornering him at the thousand-foot high cliff. The juvenile delinquent gave some serious thought to jumping into the lake, but then he noticed that there was something strange about the shark swimming below and decided to take his punishment instead. Which ended up being two hard whacks to the back of the head from the oversized harisen fan.

Eva was not particularly pleased about being caught by the second new ninja. The ninja had managed to catch her off-guard for just a slight second when he popped down from a tree above her. With a grumble, she stood still to take her punishment. A whack on the head with a rubber chicken and then being forced to wear the dreaded chicken hat for the rest of the day. The anger that built up inside her was such and her face was turning so red that she could have easily set the chicken hat on fire.

Blaineley had not been joking when she said that the latter ninjas, specifically those introduced in the final ten minutes, would be more punishing than the others. Sierra was the victim of the first. She was brought over to a tree where plastic hooks were placed just inside her nose. The hook was then being pulled up by a line, almost as though she was being fished and it caused her to squirm in pain. The line continued to tug and tug for a few more seconds before the ninja seemed satisfied that Sierra had been punished long enough, removed the hook from her nose and placed the "Fishing" sticker on her back. She doubled over onto the ground, clutching her nose as she moaned.

Geoff did not fare any better with the second new ninja. Upon being captured, the ninja led Geoff out into a clearing, where a group of more ninjas waited along with a strange object. It looked like a big wooden triangular block. Right away, Geoff could sense what was going to happen. They were going to force him to sit on the top of the object. It was painful enough, but then it got worst. The lead ninja blew a whistle and the others lifted the object with Geoff on top into the air. The ninja whistled again, causing the ninjas to lift the object higher up and back down onto their shoulders, increasing the pain Geoff was feeling from sitting at the top while he screamed. Each whistle blown came more quickly than the last, resulting in the visual of Geoff riding a triangular block that was bucking him. The other guys could not help but laugh at Geoff sudden misfortune before he was finally let down and having a sticker that read "Matsuri" placed on his back. He let out painful sighs while curled up in a ball on the ground.

"One minute left," a deep voice announced, echoing throughout the island. "Releasing the last ninjas." A horn sound followed after the frightful message was made.

"No way," Geoff moaned. "They're releasing more in the last minute?"

"I don't want any more," Lindsay cried.

Out of sheer luck, virtually all of the boys and all of the girls managed to somehow gather together in one spot. The only ones missing being Owen and Izzy, though that was the least of everyone else's concern. They were more worried about just how many more ninjas were coming after them in the last minute and what sort of punishment they were going to execute.

"Do you think we can outrun them?" Beth asked.

"This bites…" Duncan muttered.

"Here they came," Eva called out.

It seemed that all of the campers felt helpless in this one moment as what appeared to be an army of ninjas came running into view. None of the contestants moved, seemingly resigned to their fate. Until the ninjas ran past them without any sort of hesitation. Curiously, the teenagers watched as the ninjas appeared to have run into a cave. Seconds later, a yell was heard followed by a series of grunts and groans. For all of the ninjas were carrying Owen out of the cave. Izzy followed behind, perched on the shoulders of the grizzly bear, just to watch out of pure interest.

It seemed like an unusual punishment as all of the ninjas proceeded to toss Owen into the air and catch him when he came down. They did this over and over and over again while Owen screamed both in fear of being so high off of the ground and with delight as the rush of exhilaration flowed through him. The ninjas finally dropped him onto the ground, more so from the fact that he was just getting far too heavy for them to hold up any longer, just as the final horn was sounded to end the challenge.

"Thank goodness!" Bridgette exhaled in relief.

"I don't ever wanna do anything like that ever again," Cody uttered, letting out a slight moan of discomfort.

"Man, I hate that challenge," Tyler grumbled, kicking the dirt on the ground in frustration.

"And to think, this is only the beginning of what's to come for the next two weeks," Alejandro noted in despair.

"Oh, I can't wait to see what they do next!" Sierra cheered with delight.

"Aww, I wanted to get body tossed, too," Izzy pouted. The grizzly bear merely grunted in bewilderment and shrugged.

"That was fun!" Owen declared through some giggling as he got to his feet. "Let's do that again!"

Moments later, the campers arrived at the cabins. They were somewhat surprised to find that the platform from which the ninjas came from had disappeared all of a sudden, as though it had never been there in the first placed. They divided themselves into their respective teams before their host arrived to finally bring the challenge to a close.

"Congratulations, boys and girls," Blaineley announced, clapping her hands with great subtlety. "You have just made it through your first challenge on the… Return to Total Drama Island!" Most of the campers groaned at hearing her sound so condescending. "Well, it seems quite obvious how this turned out. Izzy barely having any stickers at all, Owen received quite the plethora splashed all over his back in a short amount of time. Everyone else appear to have an equal amount of punishment all around. But in the end, it leaves me with little doubt that Team Cat, aka the girls, have won the day." A lot of the girls were too tired and exhausted to even let out a mock cheer. Izzy and Sierra, on the other hand, acted like they had been victorious over something grand. "As the winners, you girls will get to pick your cabin of choice and will be catered dinner later tonight courtesy of Rob Rossi. So which cabin will you take."

The girls took a moment to examine the two cabins before them. There was something about the former Killer Grips cabin that did not make them feel all that comfortable. Even though there was hardly any evidence on the outside that it had barely changed since they last saw it, they felt as though they should not chance it.

"We're taking the Screaming Gophers cabin," Sierra announced.

"Wise choice, girls," Blaineley said with a smirk. "That means the boys will be shacking up in the Killer Grips cabin. I should warn you boys that you'll be sharing your pad with a couple of stowaways that managed to come here with the chef cooking your dinner tonight."

Out of curiosity, the boys immediately went over to their cabin and opened the door. Though they probably should have expected it, theytill were nonetheless quite surprised that there were some roaches inside. Two bad roaches, rather. Two that were the size of humans and wearing bandanas on their heads. One was even holding a knife.

"Hey, you're on our turf, man!" the roach with the red bandana said, speaking with a grizzled Latin accent.

"Hey man, I cut you!" the roach with the green bandana stated, waving the knife it held at them and also speaking in a Latin accent. "I cut you up so bad, you… you gonna… you gonna wish I no cut you up so bad!"

"Dude, those are bad roaches," Geoff uttered after the boys quickly closed the door.

It was evening at Camp Wawanakwa. A fancy dinner table was set up outside near the cabins and only the girls, being the winners of the day's challenge, were allowed to sit there. Even Eva had trouble containing some excitement as they all waited with great anticipation for their meal.

"Ladies," their chef, Rob Rossi, announced as he appeared before them. "Since today was your first challenge, I decided to go with the first dish I cooked on Top Chef Canada, which just so happened to be the winning dish. It is seared BC halibut with butter poached lobster, crushed potatoes, creme fraiche and a tarragon foam." Most of the girls were in awe as their dishes were being placed before them. Rossi turned to Bridgette with a smile that could have melted her heart. "I understand you are a vegetarian, so I made you a dish that I designed when I was executive chef at Mercatto in Toronto. This is a tagliatelle with almond pesto, garnished with a peppery arugula." Bridgette gasped with joy as her dish was placed before her. "Enjoy, girls."

The girls wasted no time taking their first bite of their dishes. And it was majestic. They had never tasted anything so divine and delicious as what they were eating. They could not speak they were so overcome with wonder. And this was only the first bite. They all decided to savor their dishes, knowing full well that this would probably be the only time throughout the two week stay they will ever have anything as magnificent as what they were eating.

"O-M-G!" Sierra sang with a swoon. "I love this dish!"

"I could, like, totally die right now and be happy that I ate this," Lindsay stated with joy.

"Bridgette, you so gotta try the mushroom purée from our dish," Beth proclaimed, immediately getting a spoon and picking up just enough for Bridgette to taste. "It is really good."

"This is Heavenly!" Bridgette exhaled after tasting the purée. "And my own dish is absolutely fantastic, too."

"I would usually eat something like sloppy joe," Eva managed to utter, almost sheepishly. "But I gotta admit… I like this dish a lot."

"Now this is a meal!" Izzy declared proudly. "This is the kind of dish we should be eating everyday. Not the slop Chef Hatchet makes." The girls toasted their glasses in agreement before returning to the merriment of indulging in their dishes and just having a grand time in general.

In the main lodge, however, the atmosphere was far from joyful. The boys were being served their meal from the new resident chef. And it made them just as nervous as any dish from Chef Hatchet would. They were not even sure what the dish was supposed to be since the Mexican chef appeared to still be on a rampage in arguing with nothingness and seeing no point in even pausing. The boys used their forks to nervously picked at their dishes before finally deciding to take a bite. It was hardly a bite worth treasuring.

"This isn't even bland," Alejandro noted with disgust.

"I can't figure out the textures in this," Cody stated with bewilderment.

"Makes me crave for dog food," Tyler said, contorting his face to show just how much he disliked the food in his mouth.

"Maybe there's a way to make it better, bras," Geoff suggested before turning to the chef. "Hey, uh… Señor Duderino! You got any guacamole we could use?"

The chef paid absolutely no attention to Geoff. Nevertheless, he appeared to have whipped something up and threw it at the party dude, which smacked him on the forehead. As he had been doing since long before they first saw him, the chef was still arguing in Spanish, if it was Spanish he was speaking, to who knew who about who knew what. The boys looked over at the small hand-sized bowl that Geoff held and were even more perplexed than ever.

"Since when has guacamole ever been purple?" Duncan asked.

Back outside, past the girls who were still in enjoying their dinner with great wonderment, Blaineley sat near the dock with her own plate of the meal the girls were served. As she ate, Josh was going over a series of notes and papers with a pencil placed over his ear, his tongue sticking out to one side.

"The girls have taken the first win of the new series," Blaineley announced to the camera, gently wiping off a dab of sauce that was on the corner of her mouth with a napkin. "Will they be able to maintain the momentum? Or will the boys even things up? Who will be the first to be eliminated and spend the rest of their stay on Boney Island? Find out in the next… Return to Total… Drama… Island!"

Team Cat
Sierra - Captain
Beth
Bridgette
Eva
Izzy
Lindsay

Team Snake
Alejandro - Captain
Cody
Duncan
Geoff
Owen
Tyler

So the idea is to show a contrast of how the cast, split in half, are enjoying their two week break from classes. As voted by you folks, Total Drama Academy: Year One will follow those who were fortunate enough to stay behind at Richmore Academy. And then there's the unfortunate half being forced to Return to Total Drama Island. Those staying at Richmore would be having a much more pleasurable experience while those back on Camp Wawanakwa will have anything but a good time. Furthermore, I wanted to establish Blaineley as being just as, if not more sadistic than Chris, largely in an effort to prove that she not only deserved to host the show, but also reap the same rewards Chris did. Let me know if you think I'm going a little too far and if whether or not it's a good thing.

I like the Mexican chef I sort of created on a whim in Total Drama Action Redux and decided to carry him over into Total Drama Academy. I think it's fun for them to have to deal with a character, even if for only a brief moment, who they cannot understand in any way, shape or form. I originally intended Josh to fill the Chef Hatchet role in full, but now he doesn't have to cook the meals for the kids. The idea would have been that he would purposefully cook bad meals for them and good absolutely delicious meals for himself and Blaineley. But now that's obviously changed to him merely making a decent turkey sandwich for Blaineley.

DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!

Next Up: The Tournament of Pain