The Only Success

by garnet eyes

A quiet morning in his quarters is the ideal time for reflection on life, selfishness, and the true meaning of change. AU Cloud x Sephiroth.

Title: The Only Success

Author: Garnet Eyes

Archived: livejournal. com, fanfiction. net

Summary: An early-morning moment spent in reflection.

Rating: M

Pairings: Cloud x Sephiroth

Author Notes: I have not had the time to watch/play anything in the Final Fantasy VII universe beyond the original game and Advent Children. Therefore, I am certain there are inconsistencies between my writing and newer games or movies.

Disclaimers: Final Fantasy VII is owned by Squaresoft and I in no way, shape, or form profit off of my writing. This is simply for my own pleasure, and may at any time be removed and/or modified as I see fit.

...

With a languid stretch, the SOLDIER resettled himself in his unnecessarily large bed. Although normally his scant time off was spent reading in his favorite chair, his current circumstances were not precisely normal for him. This morning he awoke bright and early as he always did, however getting up was the farthest thought from his mind. Instead, he lied placid as jade eyes traced over the sleeping figure curled next to him. Thick blonde hair covered half of the smaller man's face, obscuring lightly shut azure eyes and thin lips. Muscles were barely visible under tan skin, regardless of the interminable effort that the man put into strengthening himself. Unlike the thick crown of gold, his arms, legs, chest, and back were all smooth with nearly invisible hairs. Underarms had slightly thicker hair- or at least the blonde tufts were more noticeable. Similarly, the wiry hair trailing from his navel stood out against tan flesh. There was a nearly invisible white scar on the right side of the blonde's collarbone, cause undisclosed. Twin scars on both knees, currently hidden by the light cotton sheet, were from the same unknown incident.

A soft noise hummed in the SOLDIER's throat, affection in jade eyes as he carefully settled himself around his sleeping bedmate. The blonde had always been a hard worker, if a little on the mousy side. For the longest time, the teen had reserved a title of nothing more than "Zackary's pet project" in the silver warrior's mind. The soldier had barely meant anything more than the rest of the endless mass of youths intending to make names for themselves. Only a fluke changed the General's viewpoint. He wasn't even assigned to that particular mission, let alone that team. What had originally seemed like hopeless odds for less than stellar fighters had become a surprising turnaround due to the quick thinking of one tiny, weak blonde. The boy rallied the otherwise hopeless group and managed to keep everyone mostly intact while the incompetent instructor was elsewhere. Unwilling to watch the grunts die against a creature they had no hope of killing, the silver warrior made his appearance to dispatch the beast with an ease born of practice and skill.

The soldiers were all too weak-kneed and petrified from their experience to be quite as irritating as usual. It mattered little to the intrigued SOLDIER. From that moment on, he studied the little blonde soldier in all of his spare time. Although he struggled to keep up in some of his classes, the blonde showed an innate understanding of the battlefield. He did pitiably in his training classes due to the instructors' poor choice of practice weapons. The blonde was lithe and quick, lacking most of the strength of his classmates. He could pull stronger spells from materia than any of his peers, but that was of no help when handed such heavy blades.

Zackary's fondness for the soldier was obviously due to the generally shy behavior exhibited around others. When necessary, the blonde could and did take charge, but he was just as content to be told what to do. The brunette SOLDIER could see the potential and did not want it to go to waste. Sephiroth, however, could see what needed to be done. The boy required weapons tailored to his build and training to gain the strength to use the others. As for the class work he was struggling with, a tutor would be the ideal solution. A little research showed that the teen was born and raised in Nibelheim, a region that did not keep up well with the schooling system in Midgar. While the soldier was proficient in reading, writing, and basic mathematics, there was a severe deficit in Shin-Ra dictated history and an almost complete lack of any scientific understanding beyond the most basic biology.

The classroom failings leveled out when compared to survival training. Although he did not do anything "by the book," so to speak, after a month long trip the blonde was the healthiest to return – instructors included. That could be attributed to the area he hailed from and the skills needed to live there.

What to do about his meekness was another question entirely. Sephiroth was not entirely certain how to permanently bring out the leader that lingered under the surface, but his interest had been sparked and the SOLDIER was not one to give up easily. He worked with the little soldier every chance he got and set Zackary to working with him at other times. While all of that effort was rewarded with better scores in classes and better handling of assigned weapons, the blonde remained almost resolutely placid. After weeks of working with the boy, the General could not mentally correlate any particular set of circumstances to what would make the blonde take charge. It was both infuriating and impressive.

Fair's interest in the teen took on less importance the next time the silver warrior chose to notice. What mattered was having the blonde all to himself, training him or simply absorbing the boy's presence. There was something unique and undefined in the soldier, and Sephiroth found himself perfectly content to tinker with that mystery like a child playing with his favorite toy. His own growing hostility towards others' interferences remained unnoticed until his second pointed out a set of behaviors that the General had never exhibited before. Perplexed, the SOLDIER spent a brief week studying his own changing moods, quickly concluding that all of his new behaviors had roots stemming from the little soldier. Surprisingly, he felt himself at a kind of mental imbalance. Previous experience told him the imbalance was chemical and the easiest remedy was simply to find a willing recipient to satiate his normally dormant lust.

The woman was… forgettable. In fact, there really wasn't much he could recall about that evening beyond some very basic tension relief. He could focus again without overtly pressing anyone about the tiny blonde, but in the days to follow that night something simply changed. What had happened, Sephiroth had yet to be able to target. The soldier went cold on everyone, retreating emotionally in the same way he had when the SOLDIER had first seen him take charge, and began a bizarre kind of behavioral metamorphosis. The sweet, innocent youth who wanted very much to please the select few people he cared about but veered away from situations that brought him to the center of any kind of attention be it positive or negative was replaced with a youth who did first and foremost what was on his mind, making decisions and the consequences be damned, without caring if anyone noticed him yet demanding respect from his peers and superiors alike. The leader had come out, challenging and fighting and showing off all of the skills that the soldier had both innate knowledge of and had trained hard to achieve. There was an arrogance simmering under the surface as well, enough to distance him from other soldiers but not like the kind of stupidity that green recruits displayed. The blonde had the self-assurance of a man who analyzed the situation and knew how to act accordingly.

Sephiroth was elated with the change, fascinated by this odd juxtaposition of personalities. The soldier was truly gifted when he no longer cared about stepping on toes or doing something incorrectly. As such, he gained immense respect beyond that bestowed on him simply for garnering the General's attention. It was no longer questionable whether the short blonde would make something of himself in the military. Zackary remained mildly perturbed by the abruptness of the change, but his compassionate nature would not let him abandon the boy even with this completely different personality in place. The brunette was the first one to notice the startling new drive for strength inherent in the small soldier, being the man most frequently available for training sessions. It wasn't apparent to what end the blonde was training himself, but both SOLDIERs could see a clear purpose in his mind.

Several months of side stepping, training, and working with the small youth led to an unexpected revelation. Once the blonde had gained the necessary strength and made a name for himself in the army, his off-time hobby filtered its way up to the silver warrior. Much like the General had spent time warning others off of his blonde, the soldier was now doing the same in return. Somehow, Sephiroth found himself claimed by a teen who had started off as not even a blip on his radar. The realization was nothing if not amusing and really the behavior wasn't hurting anyone so the silver warrior let the information drift into the far recesses of his mind, unlikely to be called on again.

Life continued on as it always had, occupying the General with endless paperwork and duties. The SOLDIER candidate exams came and went, bringing fresh blood into the pool of prospects and dropping some of the old back into the regular ranks of the soldiers. When the SOLDIER candidates went to get their test treatments of Mako, the General was admittedly more interested in the results than he could ever recall being. His disappointment in the glaring "rejection" written next to the blonde's name was short-lived upon learning that the soldier had a better absorbency percentage than even he did. That meant that Hojo's interest would be perked, and although the vast majority of him screamed that he should hide the boy away from the madman, a small, potent part of him wished that the second-rate scientist could use that natural absorbency to make the soldier into a higher caliber fighter than any of the other SOLDIERs. That ability to use nearly all of the condensed Mako with so little poison expulsion could be the key to Sephiroth finally achieving his physical equal. It was a selfish desire but the General could not help himself. Sure enough, without any interference on his part, the rejection was countermanded by Shin-Ra's current leading scientist and an entirely new treatment program was constructed for the blonde soldier.

Disturbing as it was to have Hojo find you interesting, the blonde seemed wholly unaffected and merely trained harder. The scientist, surprisingly, both recognized Sephiroth's zealous behavior toward the blonde and encouraged such occurrences. The brunette obviously found something he liked in the soldier or he would have done something permanent to return the General's focus to other matters. Although he would never admit it on pain of death, the silver warrior was grateful and indebted to the scientist for the work he was putting into developing a regiment that would allow the blonde to grow accustomed to his new strength. Oddly, while his muscle strength grew, the outward definition of the soldier's muscles remained nearly imperceptible. The blonde's characteristic speed became ever more pronounced and his mind even seemed to sharpen, but his figure remained nearly childish. Hojo was positively thrilled regardless, undoubtedly thoroughly ensconced in new ideas and experiments intended to see precisely how strong the soldier could become. Sephiroth minded very little when he was requested to come to the labs for some comparison test or another, easily able to tell from expressions alone that the head scientist was seeing quicker growth than could be accurately predicted. The weak, frail little blonde was gaining power too rapidly to calculate.

In some oddly altruistic fashion, Hojo requested and achieved all kinds of special allowances for the blonde, setting him up in a way much like the General. The teen was outside of soldier programs and could not be placed in "inferior" SOLDIER programs, and so Sephiroth's own schedule was unceremoniously ripped from his hands and reconstructed to suit the scientist's desires. Zackary took over his duties, since fighters of his caliber were notoriously underutilized when stationed in Midgar. The General found himself frequently isolated with the blonde, training him anew for the awkwardness of all of his sudden drastic physical changes. On occasion during these sessions, the blonde used some unaccountable technique that shoved his sword clear through concrete as if it was air. It would take at least months to hone his skills to the point that the blonde could keep up with his expedient development, but the SOLDIER's heart still hammered in his chest when he saw little flashes of power that could even surpass his own.

The first full Mako immersion had done something not even Hojo seemed able to predict. What should have left the soldier exhausted and weak – something even the General could not escape after his scheduled immersions – had sparked something powerfully instinctual in the little blonde. Sephiroth had been ready and waiting to take the painful bundle of hurt and weakness to a bed so that he could sleep off the after affects. He had not expected a naked, barely rinsed off teen to exit the chamber of his own accord, grab the silver warrior by the leather harness crossing his chest, and physically propel him to the floor. The sheer strength that required left the SOLDIER far more startled than the actions themselves. His initial attempts to extract the blonde from lying against his chest merely had his hands batted away. A more forceful attempt found his wrist grabbed in a painful grip and smashed against the floor by his head as a primal growl rumbled in the column of the teen's throat. When the little blonde's mouth clamped down on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, a sudden insight came to the silver warrior about the soldier's earlier behavior and the apparent "claim" he had staked on the General. Hojo did not interfere, a glint settling in his eyes that the SOLDIER had never seen before. Uncertainty caused him to lie still for a time, complacent until the blonde's hands suddenly began working off his belts. Sephiroth made no claim to modesty, since the vast majority of his life had him as a test subject for Hojo's whims, but he was more than a little uncomfortable with the clear intentions put on display in his blonde's gestures. He had no interest in the scientist watching any part of his sexual habits and the surprise had long cleared from his mind.

Flipping them over and using his larger frame and weight to his advantage, the General held his blonde in a tight lock to prevent any further mishaps. Azure eyes glared up into jade, animalistic instinct still in the forefront of his clouded gaze. For a moment the soldier struggled, unaware of the force he used that nearly knocked the silver warrior back. Although he remained expressionless all the while, inside of his mind the General felt a whole new level of shock. Not even Fair could hope to disengage from him once he'd been captured in a full-body lock.

It took nearly an half an hour for the fogginess to recede from bright blue eyes, during which time Sephiroth did not dare lift his hold on the boy. When it was clear that the soldier had returned to himself, he was allowed a proper shower, after which point he dressed and returned to his quarters with the SOLDIER as his escort. Once the blonde was safely inside the half of the top floor of the SOLDIER barracks that had been converted into his apartment, the General entered his own chambers in the other half of the floor. Changing from his work attire, cat-like eyes marveled at the still visible bruise on his wrist uncovered when he removed his gloves. A tendril of fear crept silently into his mind, recognizing just precisely what kind of strength that the blonde would come to possess.

His training of the small soldier accelerated at Hojo's command. The possessiveness that had cropped up in the little blonde was cultivated whenever the scientist had the chance to do so and it only took a few sessions in the labs with the teen for Sephiroth to realize that Hojo was creating a control mechanism for both of them. The SOLDIER was to be used for manipulating the soldier in his less lucid moments due to the Mako and likewise the blonde's life was dictated by the General's current behavior. Becoming offended was pointless, and so Sephiroth willingly submitted to the strain of his next immersion, knowing that the blonde was in the chamber next to his and that he would be incapable of preventing anything that might happen afterward.

From what vague memories he could recall after his session, he had been thoroughly sodomized in full view of all attending lab personnel. He was aware of how, following that action, the soldier carefully settled around him and guarded him in Sephiroth's exhaustion-induced sleep. The weeks to follow regressed the blonde into such a fully instinctual level that all Mako treatments ceased immediately and perhaps permanently if the soldier could not recall himself. Unnaturally subservient, Sephiroth both figuratively and literally bared his throat to the blonde, realizing his own roll in the soldier's mind. In a sense, it was pleasant to be thought of as one who needed to be protected. Not wanting to risk damaging an experiment that could still work out entirely in his favor, Hojo was careful not to do anything that garnered the blonde's wrath. That meant Sephiroth did not attend any of his usual lab sessions. Training always happened without spectators then, fear of the little soldier's instability being set off by others who did not know about it causing the scientist to flex all of his power in the company. The General found himself missing Zackary, since he expressly forbade the brunette from coming up to the top floor in case the blonde did not recognize his friend.

It took two months for lucidity to return, although there was still a question about mental strain. Hojo gave both of them thorough checkups but declined to start either of them up on any more tests, shots, or exposures right away. Instead, he demanded that Sephiroth open his apartment to the blonde on a permanent level. Part of him wished to resist if for no other reason than because in the past few months Hojo had literally taken every decision from him. A small part of him did not want to give up the relative refuge of his personal areas, even to the soldier being made into his equal. The choice was not truly his, however, and he acquiesced without a noticeable pause. For a few days he remained perfectly uncertain, but the blonde stayed in his own rooms and merely visited on occasion. If not for the knowledge that the soldier could enter his rooms at any time, for any reason, with or without the silver warrior's consent, everything seemed to suddenly return to how it had been before. The brunette SOLDIER came frequently, relieved that both of his friends were well; the General found himself busy at his post again; and the young teen returned to heavy training.

The next sparring session Zackary initiated left him with a broken arm and a bewildered soldier following him to the infirmary. After that it occurred to everyone just how strong the little blonde had become, contrary to outward appearance. His name became famous in the army although he did not take on any of the responsibilities that he would have if he had followed the normal SOLDIER program. Instead he spent much of his time transitioning back into working with others. The General could tell his soldier was exhausted every evening, but he was at a loss as to what to do. The answer literally stumbled into his vision one night that Fair had off duty and had convinced "his two favorite guys" to head out and meet "his favorite lady."

Aerith was a sweet-natured girl with a knack for growing things and a generally positive outlook on life. She was pleasant enough, but Sephiroth remained uncertain as to how to treat her. Emerald eyes alight with the same mischief his second was prone to, she started an innocuous conversation with the little soldier. He responded as social rules dictated, but it struck the silver warrior that he had never seen the blonde talk to anyone, save himself and Zackary, about anything personal. When the brunette SOLDIER made a motion to rub his eyes, the pink-clothed girl gave him a speculative look before shaking her head in bemusement. In a fashion that certainly only a woman was capable of, she shooed both the silver and blonde fighters out of her modest house in the Sector Five slums and ushered the brunette warrior up to her bed in what seemed like the span of five seconds, all without coming off as the least bit rude. The next evening, Sephiroth calmly waited in his rooms, having ordered a meal that would easily reheat to be brought up.

He hurried impatiently to the door and out into the hall the moment he detected the shrill sound of the elevator chime, pleased to see that the soldier was at least not stumbling this night. His offer was better received than he had expected. The blonde slept comfortably in a bed big enough for three people, not quite touching the older male but also not far enough away to allow so much as half a turn of the pale SOLDIER's torso before their shoulders would bump. It was… awkward, that first time. In his feral state the blonde did not sleep when Sephiroth did, acting as a silent guardian. When the General had bedded others before, he did not invite them into his apartments and he certainly did not sleep in the bed afterward. It was really the first time he had experienced such a thing.

The following day he awoke first and busied himself with his normal routine, hesitating a moment before ordering double the amount of food he normally did. The blonde woke up just before the food arrived and they spent breakfast in a comfortable silence. Experiments began slowly working back into their schedules and over time it became routine for the small soldier to stop in for breakfast every morning. All too soon, however, the blonde needed to prove his mettle and was sent out to lead platoons on monster hunting excursions. This became a frequent enough occurrence that it in turn became difficult to spend any time with the teen. When their schedules did not conflict, they slept together through the nights and continued peacefully in their peculiar, not-completely-defined relationship. Waking up after such nights became the highlight of the silver warrior's days – infrequent though the occurrence may be.

A soft noise rumbled in the blonde's throat, waking the SOLDIER from his daydreaming. Usually he would be up by now, ordering breakfast or doing something constructive, but he so rarely got the chance to simply be with the younger warrior any longer and it was unheard of for their days off to coincide so well. Gentle hands groped over sharp hips as the smaller man began to awaken. Murmuring a soft sound of approval, the silver warrior caressed a hand over the little newly titled SOLDIER's back as the boy turned toward him. There were still some oddities in his behaviors, mostly after Mako treatments, but according to Hojo's diagnostics those peculiarities were negligible and they did, after all, have the key to keeping their experiment in check in the form of Sephiroth. Amusingly, the tiny blonde was far more feared in the halls of Shin-Ra than the General himself, although his name was virtually unknown outside of Midgar. The groping lulled to a mimicry of the long strokes Sephiroth was using on him before piercing blue eyes opened and settled on jade. A small, genuine smile lit the teen's face before he sat up, curling his head down to press his lips to the General's forehead.

"Good morning, Sephiroth. Did you sleep well?"

The strange possessiveness inherent in the blonde's interactions with him had long ceased to gain his attention and so the taller man nodded his head to the question.

"It is fortunate that the requests went through for us to spend time in the Icicle area after tomorrow's mission. Do you intend to do something in particular?"

Stretching his arms over his head to release the kinks, the blonde grunted absently in reply.

"I was thinking of snowboarding. You?"

Sitting upright, the older SOLDIER flicked his hair out from under him in a practiced move.

"I may join you."

Nodding, whether in agreement or simple understanding the General could never be sure, the smaller male cast a lingering glance at the silver-haired man. Ignoring his nakedness as the sheets shifted, Sephiroth slid gracefully from the bed and headed toward the bathroom. He could feel Mako tainted eyes following him and for once welcomed the invasion of his privacy. How long had it been since he had felt truly comfortable in his own skin? The General couldn't remember being so… content with his situation. He could not claim any true control over his own time, schedule, or person, but mentally he had fewer arguments against that particular fate. Shinra was pleased to have two impossibly strong SOLDIERs at his command and Hojo seemed more readily able to cede to the blonde's demands for time off. When the young SOLDIER made plans to do anything, Sephiroth was inevitably involved and so the General found himself spending less time inside the labs. That settled fine with him and Hojo remained oddly complacent.

"Anything in particular you would like to eat?"

Plus there was one important factor in his current situation that had never happened before.

"I will eat whatever you choose to order, Cloud."

The blonde cared about Sephiroth as a man, not as an experiment or a weapon or some distant ideal. It was a hard realization that put a lot of things into perspective. The General wouldn't have submitted so readily for anyone else had another proved more capable of absorbing Mako. He certainly wouldn't have worried about harming the primal blonde had it been any other project of the mad scientist. Allowing what little he could control to be systematically usurped into another's hands would have met far more resistance with anyone else. Before he had been consciously aware of any of it, Sephiroth had subconsciously looked for the one who would be best for his emotional health. Fortunately, his blonde had graced his life and he wasn't left in an unbearable situation.

The shower turned on with a burst of hot water and the SOLDIER relaxed under the spray. Hojo fully intended to push the blonde's strength to its limits and Cloud was starting to show signs of being able to consistently overpower the General. It was somewhere between humbling and thrilling to have a superior to his skill – to be able to go all out, use all of his tricks, and hold nothing back and yet still have a chance of losing.

Lowering his head and letting the cascade of water ease him into a less tense state, the silver warrior placed a palm flat against the tiled wall. Should he look up, a distinct "1" would be glaring at him from the back of his hand – something his blonde had not yet received. So help him for this cruel selfishness but Sephiroth well and truly wanted what he was being given. He could be weak finally – at least privately – and did not have to worry. His beautiful, hardworking, possessive Cloud would keep him safe. His blonde, who at times behaved more like an animal than a human, would protect him and care for him and Sephiroth could not help his desire for that chance to be cared for. Even if he did eventually become notably weaker than the little blonde, the General knew plenty about the behaviors of wild beasts and he had been claimed – mated, as it was. His blonde would never leave him, no matter how the tables turned between them, and the older SOLDIER could taste an oddly liberating freedom that would come with being second best. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once, knowing that he could become disposable to Shin-Ra.

He could become just as expendable as all of the soldiers were thought to be, should Cloud make a true name for himself. But there was a new kind of safety net, more secure than the one created due to his battle successes, weaving together for him. Should the blonde surpass him, nothing in this world had a chance against the short teen. The only one who could calm him in his feral state was Sephiroth. The only one who could imply any order or demand without meeting violent hostility was Sephiroth. Not even Hojo could create the proper control outside of the silver-haired male; Cloud's psyche was not damaged by the Professor's tactics. As a prized fighter, the General may indeed fall from Shin-Ra's graces, but he was more indispensable than ever now.

This was all assuming that the blonde managed to surpass him and retain his mental clarity. If that happened, the teen could expect the older SOLDIER to give him one hell of a fight. The boy would have to earn the glory of defeating Shin-Ra's prized War General. Sephiroth wasn't about to let anyone overcome him in combat for anything short of total exhaustion. If Cloud ever managed to best him, well then he would have to do it often because the General was not about to give up a new opportunity to grow and be challenged.