Clear Water

by infinitemaybe

CHAPTER ONE:

August 2004, approx. one year before Twilight

It was a special day. I was excited, exhilarated even. Sam Uley. The words, the name, the sounds. So sweet on my tongue. Sweeter than honey! He was tall and dark, handsome and brooding. And I loved him even before freshman year, when we started dating. He was so much to me.

I was meeting him today. Just the sight of him made me feel alive. I felt the world spin faster when I was in his arms. The world was a bit brighter, less bittersweet than normal. He made its color burst with vibrance.

But my main excitement was Emily. Emily was coming! My cousin, we were closer than sisters. We had a bond that would never break. 'Best friends' were not strong enough words. Yet Emily was second, Sam coming first. Always Sam.

You'd say I was obsessed. But aren't those who love obsessed? Though obsession was the key component in my downfall. Obsession binds. Its grip is tight, never letting go. And even once loosened, the memories will still haunt. There is no way out.

Back to Emily. Sam would meet Emily. My two best friends in the world meeting each other. Emily was very ecstatic when I mentioned Sam, mostly for me.

"He sounds so wonderful! You deserve him Leah!" she gushed to me over the phone.

I smiled and nodded, thinking of him. Of course Emily couldn't see me nod, but she knew. She had a way of knowing.

Just the other day, as Sam was stroking my hair as we walked down the beach, I told him about Emily.

"She sounds very nice." he said.

I nodded.

"But you are always first. Nothing will ever stop that!" I replied.

Sam kissed me. I felt... no, I couldn't feel. The numbing sensation was perfect. I was floating in clear, calm water. I laughed at that.. Clear water. Like my name.

Leah Clearwater would someday be Leah Uley. I knew it.

As we broke the embrace, Sam whispered in my ear, "You will always be first to me!"

I closed my eyes and took it in. I never knew I'd be my own downfall.

Emily came a few days later. She got out of the car and I ran to her from the house.

"Emily!" I cried, hugging her.

"Oh Leah! It's so nice to be at the reservation. I've heard so much about the happenings but it's different to actually be here."

"You have to meet - " I started.

"Sam," she said, cutting me off and grinning. "I know. I have to make sure your boyfriend is good enough for you."

I laughed at that. Of course Sam was good enough. In fact, in comparison I wasn't good enough for him!

Seth, my little brother, came out of the house. Striding with the typical cockiness of a thirteen year old.

"Hi Emily." he said.

"Hey Seth. How's it going?" Emily asked.

"Good. Same old, same old." he replied.

Emily nodded.

"Know that feeling!" She turned to me. "Now, let's meet Sam."

Seth rolled his eyes.

"Sam? Oh yeah. Leah's practically obsessed with him. They have moonlight walks and kiss at the beach all the time!" he laughed.

I blushed.

"Seth, that's not funny." I growled.

But with Emily being Emily, she was used to it. I'd told her enough anyway. She just laughed.

"Well, now I'll have some questions to ask Sam."

I glared at Seth when Emily was out of eyeshot.

"Sorry." he whispered, but the tell-tale smile on his face told me he wasn't.

"Go away, okay?" I commanded.

He put his hands up in the air.

"Leaving!"

Just as Seth left, I turned. There was Sam! He had come! He climbed out of his car. He was so gorgeous. My heart beat faster than normal everytime I saw him. Emily stared at him, her expression that of suprise.

"You weren't kidding." she whispered. "He's gorgeous and perfect."

I shot her an "I told you so" glance.

I ran to Sam and threw my arms around him.

"Hey Leah. Is this Emily?" he asked, staring at her, not at me.

"Yeah. Emily, come over." I called. "This is Sam and Sam, this is Emily."

"I've heard so much." Emily said, shaking Sam's hand. She was always so formal.

"Sam... Uh, Sam Uley." he said, stumbling on his words. This was unlike Sam. He was always so cool, calm, and collected so much different me. But as they say, opposites attract.

I should have known it then. But I was blinded by my excitement. The two people I loved the most were in love with each other. I couldn't see it then.

Sam began spending more time with Emily than he did with me.

"Don't worry Leah. You don't have to be jealous!" he laughed. "I'm just showing her around."

"I can do that too, you know." I muttered.

"But you already have. She needs a different view." he said.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. There wasn't much feeling in the kiss, and in the back of my mind I knew that. But I refused to think of it and I forgot that we have ever argued.

Emily started to change. We seemed to have drifted apart. I was pulling away I guess and trying to get closer to Sam. Even though Sam was already away from my grasp. They laughed together and smile secret smiles. Like, they were a couple. I only stood in the background, smiling bittersweetly as I watched them.

Then one day, he broke it to me.

"I don't love you anymore, Leah."

The words hit me like darts. I felt a million heartbreaks all at once. I couldn't breathe, much less speak. I was breaking into millions of pieces.

"It's nothing you've done. It's me. It's my fault. I've become - I've become someone different. And I've known it for a while but I tried to be different and now... I can't love you anymore. You are dear to me. You always will be. I just can't love you like I did before." he said, holding my hands in his.

Sam kissed my cheek.

"Why?" I murmured.

"I've... I can't explain. I can't tell you. I wish I could. Emily is... I wish you'd understand. I'd give everything for you to understand. But Leah, someday you'll know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I walked away. I could hear his voice in my head.

"Someday you'll know."

I heard his voice and remembered all the walks down the beach. All of our silent talks, both of us together not saying a word but knowing each other's thoughts.

Tears streamed down my eyes. I couldn't stop them, I couldn't hide them. So instead, I found my solace in them.

A/N: Woot! I'm back! If you've been following this in any way, thank you! I wrote this quite sometime ago and it has been collecting dust for at least a year. But I'm back now! (: Currently I'll be editing Clear Water's chapters to harbor more details and updates. So stay tuned. And review if you please! I love reviews!