I do not own Syfy's Alice.
Should though. It's my story. Partially anyway.
Not So Mad
Hello there. I'm Hatter.
The one and only.
And that being said, I'm here to clear a few things up.
About me.
What I am. Who I am. Why I am.
First off, Wonderland is not a kid's story.
Just in case you were misled to believe otherwise.
And anyone who says different is selling something.
Also, I don't wear loads of makeup like one of your silly stage clowns.
Well, maybe just a touch of liner sometimes for flare . . . never mind.
And I don't dress in outlandish, garish clothing.
Much.
But I do wear hats.
A lot.
I love hats.
A good hat is the perfect topping to a perfect cake, so they say. Whoever 'they' are.
Anyway . . .
I don't futterwacken or sing (except in the shower) or celebrate me unbirthdays.
I'm not a hundred year old ancient guy.
I don't think.
Hang on, give me a second.
Wonderland times your world . . .
Um, do you have an abacus?
Never mind, I'll figure it out later.
Anyway, I'm not quirky or barmy or mad.
Well, not frequently.
And I don't sit around aimlessly riddling at bizarre, insane outdoor tea parties with singing, hallucinogenic woodland creatures.
I mean, I do like tea. I drink it all the time. It's the perfect swill for nearly any occasion. And there are so many different varieties! For instance . . .
Look, maybe it would be better if I just start from the beginning, yeah?
Back before Alice and her blue dress.
Before Jack and his snooty princeliness.
Before Charlie and his nonnies.
Back before all of it.
When I was just me.
Hatter.
Hey, anybody out there interested in this?
Leave a review if you like.