An empty street. A little fall of rain. A girl walking alone silently without an umbrella.
She was in no hurry. She even seemed to enjoy her lonely walk in the rain.
Yes, she loved the rain, because of the solitude that descended on the streets when it fell. It was late afternoon, not quite dusk yet, but she had just finished with school and was now making her way back home. She used these moments to walk alone, again and again trying to find the answers to the questions that often troubled her mind.
The rain soon intensified, transforming into a downpour. The girl smiled and stopped. Storm?.. She contemplated the word.
Not a single person could imagine the intensity of the storm that raged deep in her heart! So many times people told her that her name didn't fit her character at all. Arashi. A storm. A tempest. Outwardly she always seemed so calm and serene. Yet every time people voiced this observation Arashi just smiled. They didn`t know her. Not the true her.
Arashi appreciated her solitude, because these moments of loneliness were so rare. But this day she was lucky. When she ate lunch with Yuzuriha earlier she told her not to worry if she didn't come back home right after her classes were over. Thank goodness the younger girl didn`t offer her company – she had instead mumbled something about meeting "a friend" of hers, and that was that.
"Sorata" was the name of another problem she faced. Every day he waited until Arashi`s classes were over to spend some time alone with her while going back home. But that problem had suddenly been solved: Sorata had decided to teach Kamui some "Mathematics and stuff" as he had called it (though Arashi doubted that Sorata knew Maths well enough to do so), and for the third day in a row they stayed at school for two extra hours of studying.
Arashi was pretty aware of the weather forecast and of the high probability of rain that was mentioned, but she hadn't thought to put on anything warmer than her school uniform and of course left her umbrella at home. She didn`t even think about it. And now, standing in the rain, she slowly realized that she had got used to it… To being unshielded from the rain. That was probably a result of her childhood spent on the streets… Three long months of coldness and despair. She hardly dropped a tear when her mother died. The tempest of all her feelings kept intimately concealed. After despair there came hatred. How dare she leave her all alone and without any hope for salvation and better life? But by the end of the second month spent among garbage cans, little Arashi accepted it at last. Her mother wanted to protect her from some kind of nasty fate. Arashi didn`t have a slightest idea what kind of fate it was – her mother wouldn`t tell her. But if she spent her whole life on the streets, then maybe she`d never meet that horrible fate? If that were so, then that would mean that her mother had managed to protect her.
She shuddered at the memory….When Arashi`s mother had embraced her little girl for the last time, Arashi knew that it would indeed be her last embrace. Mother had been so weak. She could feel death was slowly creeping upon her.
Will Arashi avoid the fate I've brought upon her?.. Will she be able to change her own destiny? Her mother had wondered painfully. Of course… There was no way her poor mother could know the answers to these questions. She had tried to protect Arashi from her destiny, but…
A person builds his or her life and chooses the way to follow it on their own. One's entire life depends on his or her own decisions and actions. And if that was true… Then why shouldn't Arashi be able to choose whether or not to become the one she`s destined to be?..
Her dying mother had desperately prayed that her daughter wouldn`t face her fate as one the Dragon of Heaven. Why Arashi? She had despaired. There are thousands of other seven year old girls in Japan! How does Arashi differ from them?
Her mother was the Hidden Priestess, the inner voice muttered, but in the end, poor mother didn`t pay any attention to it. It meant nothing. She had not been a priestess for more than seven years… Yes, seven years ago she had broken all prohibitions and had given into her emotions, her… love.
..When Arashi saw her mother dead, she realized that she had been left all alone. That now there was no one to care or provide for her. Now she was left to wander through the cold and heartless streets on her own, searching for any kind of food and an appropriate place to sleep.
By the middle of the third month spent on the streets her focus had shifted from worrying about how to survive to something else... How can it be called "life" if you have to eat garbage so as not to fall lifeless and numb? Is it worth living this way? There`s nobody beside me, the girl thought. Does it really matter whether I live or not? If I die, no one will cry for me…
But my mother begged me to live even if she dies.
Arashi did want to do as her mother had told her, but… It didn't make any sense.
That all changed however, and life finally made sense when she had met Kaede-san. She had told Arashi every day that she was destined to become one of the Dragons of Heaven and protect this world. Arashi had believed her without any hesitation, because there wasn't anybody or anything else she could believe.
Nothing has changed her new focus since then. Ten years have passed, and she is still putting her "savior duties" above all other things. Though…if she were truly honest with herself... Arashi feared the time when the final battle would be over and if she managed to survive. What will she live for then? What would she have left to believe in?
..It was still raining, the dark storm clouds pouring great torrents of glistening rain drops. Arashi leaned heavily against the dim street lamp and looked up hopefully at the bleak and gloomy night sky, as if it held the answers to her disheartening questions. Her shoes were soaked, steady currents of water were dripping down from her skirt, and her hair was wet and heavy plastered against her head and neck. But that didn't seem to bother Arashi at all. The thing that did bother her was her head spinning like a merry-go-round. Her suitcase suddenly seemed to be twice as heavy as it used to be, a strange tiredness starting to take over her body… It was high time to go back home.
***
As Arashi approached the mansion, she could feel that there was indeed something odd with her. She had never felt so weak before. She was still feeling dizzy and didn`t enjoy the rain as much as she did some time ago. Her main goal now was to get home and go to bed as soon as possible.
Finally, reaching the main doors of the mansion with some difficulty, she stopped, hoping that nobody would notice her coming in. She didn't like to draw attention to herself, especially when she looked like that – soaked to the bone and probably ill.
It was somewhat unsettling to her as she realized she was feeling slightly "giddy". She opened the door and had hardly made a few steps through the door when she stumbled over someone`s running shoes. She would surely have met the ground if she hadn`t grabbed the doorknob in time. Of course that was noticed and Yuzuriha appeared what seemed like out of nothing. Sometimes Arashi thought the younger girl had supernatural hearing.
"Arashi-san! You promised to come back not long after class and now it's the evening! What`s happened? I was so worried! Have you been caught in the rain? You look as if you have just had a shower!"
Yuzuriha`s mouth didn't close for a second as usual. Closing her eyes, Arashi tiredly leaned against the doorframe and dropped her heavy suitcase at last.
"Why are you keeping silent? Are you ok?! You must be cold!" Yuzuriha continued to chatter.
Arashi opened her mouth and tried to say something like "I`m alright", but the words stuck in her throat. She suddenly coughed deeply and started to fall again, but Yuzuriha caught Arashi by her hand and prevented her from doing so.
"Arashi-san, there is something wrong with you!"
"I`m alright." Arashi muttered at last after clearing her throat.
Yep, such a fascinating evening was about to be ruined. They say there's a price to pay for everything, isn't there?..
Breaking loose from Yuzuriha`s grip, Arashi headed for the main stairs leading to the bedrooms on the first floor.
"Are you sure you don`t need any help?"
Arashi turned around, but hardly had she opened her mouth to answer when she heard such a well-known voice coming from the living-room.
"…I didn`t even put my shoes away when I came home cause there was so little time left to make dinner! When Nee-chan comes home and sees them just laying there in the middle of the floor she`ll be furious I`m sure. And you`re refusing to eat Kamui, mumbling something about your lack of appetite! I`ve sacrificed so much to make it properly!.."
"Sorata, I`m eating already…"
"You are?! At last! Now I've got just enough time to put away my shoes or something far worse than the end of the world will happen to me!…
Arashi caught herself wanting to laugh light-heartedly at his ridiculous concern, but that is a rather difficult thing to do when you have a sore throat. More than that, laughing wasn`t in Arashi`s character. So she just coughed and suddenly remembered that she had left her suitcase somewhere near the door. I`m completely out of luck today, she thought morosely.
Swiftly returning to the doorway, she picked up the suitcase and hurried back to the stairs, trying to walk properly, despite the fact that the world around her was still spinning. But Sorata hadn`t put away his shoes yet, so naturally Arashi stumbled over one of them and started to fall to her knees for the third time already, only this time, she was far from that saving doorknob…
Arashi quickly prepared herself for an epic fall when she suddenly felt two strong arms encircle her waist, and luckily her nose didn`t meet the ground. The girl sneezed loudly.
"How cute. Nee-chan, d`you know that you`re completely soaked?"
Such a good day now felt like such a failure. Arashi had obviously caught a cold and probably wouldn`t be able to go to the academy tomorrow, and the worst of it was that now she was embraced by the one whose company she couldn`t bare right now above all others…. But did she really feel that way? Perhaps she was just fooling herself?
"I know. Let me go."
Sorata could catch only one meaning of these words. But Arashi wanted him to understand the second one…
"I like hugging you no matter how soaked you are…" he murmured dreamily.
You wish.
Regaining her strength, Arashi pushed away the doting monk and for the third time headed to the stairs. If I don`t lie down right now, I`ll surely faint here, the girl thought, stumbling over nearly every step.
"Nee-chan, are you sure you`re alright?"
Arashi didn`t even turned around to face him. Finally reaching the second floor, she turned left and walked straight to her room. She opened the door with shivering hands, dropped her suitcase and leaned against the wall. Closing her eyes, Arashi tried to calm her spinning head and rid herself of all useless thoughts. Easier said than done, she thought sourly to herself.
When did I get such a cold? Even as a child I had never been so ill… And now? One mere walk in the rain, and here it is. This damned cold.
Arashi sat down on her bed and took off her soaked socks. Finding no strength to put them in a proper place, she listlessly left them on the carpet and laid down on the bed.
The priestess liked delving into deep thought before falling into a fitful slumber. Sometimes she'd lie in bed for two or three hours, staring at the dark ceiling and analyzing her life and destiny. Does a person have only one path in his or her life, which had been predicted and determined before the person was born? And is there anybody in the Heavens who rule this world? Arashi failed to find the answers because one can`t really know them for sure… unless you`re dead…and even then, there's no guarantee.
But now her mind refused to consider these things. Too exhausted to resist the weakness plaguing her anymore, Arashi gave into it and almost immediately fell into a realm of blissful slumber.
***
Two hours later the door of her room opened a bit and a pair of hazel eyes stared at the sleeping girl. Just as I thought. Quietly closing the door, Sorata returned to his room, found his favorite warm blanket and hurried back to Arashi`s room. He entered her room quietly, trying not to make any sound. He came up to the bed and covered his sleeping beauty with the plaid blanket. How beautiful you are, the boy thought, adjusting the blanket around her shoulders. Stroking her hair, Sorata noticed that it was no longer wet. He couldn`t resist the urge to sit down next to her and simply caress her head, gazing at her peaceful and serene face. What are you always thinking about so tensely Nee-chan? What are you dreaming of?
Sorata didn't fear her waking up and yelling at him – she didn`t stir when he softly caressed her cheek. The desire to stay with her and guard her sleep was indescribable.
Yet, he had to go. To leave her side. He couldn`t stay with her, because he knew it was not what Arashi wanted. If she woke, she'd only push his concern and affections away. And since Sorata could do nothing about it, he just had to wait until she accepted it.
I wonder if she'll wake up after…
Sorata leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on his beloved's forehead. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the moment, though he was sure that if she woke now he'd get slapped. But luck shone on him this day as she continued to sleep, blissfully unaware of his presence. When he silently stood from her bed she didn`t move. Returning back to the door, Sorata glanced at the sleeping girl for the last time, bid her goodnight inwardly and carefully closed the door.
***
…A little girl was running swiftly along the empty street. She was out of breath, but still kept on chasing after someone. Only one thought was playing in her mind – Reach…. Reach my mother.
But the faster the girl ran, the more distanced her mother became. Eventually little Arashi couldn`t bear running any longer and fell to her knees, gasping for air. She was looking at her mother`s fading figure and couldn`t believe her eyes. Mother left me even thoughshe promised not to ever leave me!
"Mother! Wait! Don`t leave me!" the girl cried helplessly. But it was too late. She felt burning tears shimmered in her eyes, so Arashi could no longer make out the silhouette of her mother. She wasn`t there any longer – she had gone to place from which no one had ever come back. The poor girl desperately stroked her hand on the ground and…
…Arashi woke up, her eyes wide with fear and terror.
Just a bad dream… But how real it seemed to be! Those dirty streets, garbages, ravens always flying around… Arashi remembered all of this so well. She didn`t forget anything – in fact, she wouldn`t be able to do so even if she wanted to. Those three months spent on the streets had influenced her character quite a lot. Every time Arashi would eat or cook she remembered the garbage she had to look through to find something that would help keep her alive several years ago. Sounds disgusting? But Arashi was not the only one who had gone through it. How many lonely children still wandered through the streets in search of food were there on Earth?
A mere glance at a rich dinner-table still made Arashi feel nauseous. That`s exactly the reason why Arashi usually ate little and was very slim, whilst Sorata and Yuzuriha would devour ALL the meals they`d cooked while discussing some interesting topic. Arashi was always the first to leave the dining-room, saying that she wanted to wash the dishes or something like that. She felt very uncomfortable sitting next to cheerful Yuzuriha and Sorata and watching their dining….
…Trying to calm herself down after experiencing so many familiar emotions once again, Arashi raised her head a bit as she realized that something was different. This plaid-blanket is obviously not mine, she thought in confusion. Arashi glanced at the clock as she sat up on her bed, gathering the blanket tightly around her. She slowly came to the conclusion that she had been sleeping soundly for nearly five hours. She felt relieved that there was no headache anymore, and the world around her had finally stopped spinning. But her throat was still scratchy which made it difficult to swallow. At least no headache though, thanks to my long nap.
How warm… She thought blissfully.These moments of warmth were so rare for Arashi… She would wake up every morning not because of the ringing of her alarm-clock, but because she felt terribly cold. But at this moment, the blanket engulfed her in its warmth, and that warmth was vaguely familiar to her… Arashi breathed in the scent of it and immediately understood whose blanket it was and who had come some hours earlier and had covered her with it. Sorata. No doubt that it had been him.
With contentment that she'd never known Arashi closed her eyes as she enjoyed the moment. He managed to warm her up…
No matter what she had said or done, the thing that Arashi had feared most of all finally took over her. She wanted his warmth…
But no, she decided, the time hasn't come yet. I must not let Sorata see this change in my feelings for him. She should continue to conceal all her feelings as she had always done. This is the only way I can protect Sorata from myself.
Half past one… I can`t go and give Sorata his blanket back right now. He must be sleeping. And to tell the truth, she didn`t want to. It was just so warm being wrapped in it… She wanted to make this moment last a bit longer. Even if only until the morning comes. Just to enjoy the warmth and comfort and rid her mind of her cold and exhausting thoughts. Only one night of blissful peace and comfort, and then everything can go back to the way it was. Staying up for half a night, desperately trying to define the essence of her life, to hide her true self from everybody, sending her feelings and emotions to the remotest edge of her heart, shivering with cold and loneliness…
Arashi laid back on her pillows. No. This night I will not be cold.
One thing I would like to mention as an author is that I wouldn`t have published this story in English (because it is not my first language) if one kind person hadn`t revised and edited it. I`m speaking about MikoSwordmaiden01. I want to thank you for all the work you`ve done! I appreciate it. You are the best beta-reader for me.