The Woolpack was decidedly busy for Valentine's Day, despite the somber atmosphere around the village after the fire; after the deaths. The mood suited Aaron, all he wanted was to drown his sorrows. Jackson was doing his head in with his open relationship idea. It was complete rubbish. He went along with it for Jackson, he seemed determined for Aaron to get on with his life, no matter how many times he protested. So he did it, he went to Bar West, he even met a guy...a guy he was attracted to...a guy that wasn't Jackson. It threw him at first, he felt guilty flirting when his boyfriend was waiting for him at home, but he persisited. They exchanged numbers, went out a few more times, but the guilt never went away. It wasn't the same as with Jackson, he didn't feel the same.
There were no butterflies when he looked at this guy, he didn't feel his heart stop momentarily when he entered the room, his eyes weren't drawn to him like he was a god among men. Simply put he wasn't Jackson. And no matter how many times he went out or how many men he met none would compare to him. Eventually he stopped going out, instead he spent more time with Jackson, but they always ended up having the same conversation, the same argument. He couldn't take it, he stormed out. How could Jackson not see that he didn't want anyone else?
When he woke up this morning he was determined to prove to Jackson that he didn't want anyone else; that he didn't need anyone else. He just needed to remind him that they belong together. He didn't plan a fancy dinner, a takeaway and a few cans, then maybe a trip to the Woolie to hear the lived band Diane lined up. It was simple, but it was them.
He had imagined every detail, practised what he wanted to say, mentally prepared for everything...everything except Jackson and his refusal to see him. Hazel met him at the door of Dale Head, flustered and at wits end. She understood Jackson's reasons for pushing Aaron to an open relationship, but she also knew it was killing Jackson to do it. As much as he claimed he was alright with everything she knew it was a lie. She could hear the sobs at night when he thought she was sleeping, it broke her heart.
"Hazel, please."
"I don't want to see him," Jackson yelled from his bed.
"I'm sorry Aaron," Hazel said before closing the door.
Defeated, he went to the Woolie to find happiness, closure, anything at the bottom of a pint. The band started up, playing love song after love song. He wanted to hate them, to laugh at the words of love and devotion, but he couldn't. They all reminded him of Jackson.
Grabbing his mobile he qucikly dialed Hazel's number, holding his breath until she answered. It took some convincing, but he managed to get her to agree to bring Jackson; after much arguing and telling him that the invite was from Paddy and no Aaron won't be there, he went into town.
He was never one for grand gestures, but for Jackson he made an exception. He needed a way to prove that he was here and had no plans to leave. The band was taking a break, seizing the opprotunity he made his way to the lead singer. He gave her a list a mile long of everything he needed the song to say, doubting that such a song existed.
She gave him a small smile, "I know just the one."
"Nothing too soppy eh?"
"Now that I can't promise," she laughed.
He stayed near the small stage, he had a clear view of the door but was just out of view of everyone. He pulled out his phone again, sending a quick text to Hazel, before resuming his nervous fidgeting. The door opened, Hazel's booming voice echoing off the walls.
His heart stopped when he saw Jackson, dressed in the red checkered shirt from the first time they met. He looked as gorgeous as ever. His nerves gave way to terror, and the nagging doubts rearing ther ugly heads. He couldn't back out now. He gave a small nod to the lead singer of the band, indicating Jackson.
He was nervous again.
"We have a special dedication. This song is for Jackson, from Aaron."
Aaron watched Jackson looking around the bar, watched his eyes fall on the stage as the band started playing.
When I see your smile I will never let you fall
Tears roll down my face, I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Aaron could see the tears falling from Jackson's eyes as the band continued singing. Finally leaving the safety of the shadows he went to Jackson's side, wiping the tears away before placing a small kiss on his forehead.
It's okay, It's okay, It's okay.. Seasons are changing I will never let you fall
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer
And nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Slowly he took Jackson's hand in his, moving his other hand to Jackson's chin caressing the stuble, finally blue eyes meeting brown. Loking deep into Jackson's eyes, Aaron sang along to the next verse, hoping Jackson would finally understand how he feels.
'Cause you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
They both had tears in their eyes as they leaned in for a passionate kiss.
'Cause I'm here for you Use me as you will I will never let you fall
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning grey
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
"I love you Jackson," Aaron whispered, finally able to admit his true feelings.