Me: I really, really, REALLY wanted to do this for kicks, but it took way too long. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: We own nothing. The Five Nights at Freddy's franchise belongs to Scott Cawthon and One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda. And we didn't use Phone Guy's actual words (way too much work for a fun One-Shot). (SKIP THIS IF YOU ALREADY KNOW ABOUT IT) For those who don't know what Five Nights at Freddy's is, it's a horror survival computer game that revolves around a haunted kid's pizzeria. You play as a security guard and work from 12 AM to 6 AM. I suggest you look it up for more information, but long story short, five kids were murdered in one of the backrooms, and now their vengeful souls are stuck in the animatronics. It really is a good scary game! My favorite!
PS: I purposely made the animatronics OOC. You know, for humor reasons.
12:38 AM
It hasn't even been a full hour yet and Zoro was beyond the simple word of bored. The large building had an unearthly chill to it, making the green-haired security guard shudder every other minute. He didn't think to bring a jacket, on account of it being the beginning of summer. His uniform was an ordinary thin, purple, collared shirt and black slacks, which Zoro wasn't too pleased with at first. Purple usually clashed with his skin tone.
He slouched in his dark blue swivel chair as it swayed on its own, staring directly into the desk fan's hypnotically spinning blades. When Sanji told him about this particular job, Zoro didn't think it would be this easy, or rather, this uneventful. He still wonders why he lets his boastful, thickheaded, egotistical blonde boyfriend convince him into doing certain tasks, but it was too late to back out. Zoro had already accepted the position, and he'd feel awful if they couldn't find a replacement on such short notice. Plus, he heard the pay is quite generous for working only one week.
The manager had strictly told him to listen to the phone recordings as his nights progressed; something about important information, blah, blah, blah, employee training, blah, blah, blah, rules and warnings. Zoro knew he should give the little effort it took to press the worn play button of the answer machine in front of him and genuinely pay attention, even though he could fall asleep from boredom at any moment. Regardless, the button was pushed, and Zoro leaned back further in his chair as an unsure male voice greeted him over the miniature speakers.
"Uh, hello? Hello? Alright, so welcome to the nightshift, new trainee! Here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, there's nothing more heart-warming than the pride you feel in giving our customers the time of their lives and precious memories that will last forever. You, however, won't be feeling that any time soon." There was a smug laugh and Zoro grimaced. "Oh no, your job is to make sure things go swimmingly through the night. I've worked here for a while and, let me tell you, this might be the easiest job on the planet. Wait, I should probably say this now before anything happens out there; the animatronics on stage will go into a, uh, "self-roaming" mode at night, meaning they'll wander around the building. They used to at kids' parties during the day, but there was the Bite of '87 and ehhhhhh…they're not allowed to anymore. It's amazing how the body can still survive without the frontal lobe, huh? A-Anyway, they're harmless to humans, of course, but only when their roaming mode is off. They wouldn't try to deliberately hurt you if their facial scanners actually functioned correctly in self-roaming mode. On that note, don't let them into your office. They'll most likely think you're a uh...a metal endoskeleton without its costume on, and try to stuff you in a suit. This wouldn't be such a bad thing if the suit themselves weren't already filled with springtraps, pipes, crossbeams, and just about anything else you'd find in the hood of a car, basically. So, you've got a monitor screen connected to the cameras in every room, but there are still some blind spots by the doors. Use the lights right outside to see if one of them are near you. The first night should be a breeze because their systems restart every week. Good luck, don't overheat the generator, and keep the treasures of Fazbear's safe! Someone should be in shortly after six!"
Zoro's eyes had bulged impossibly wide in a panic. Those animal things in the dining hall walked on their own? They could potentially kill him within the timeframe of his shift? For five bucks an hour?!
1:18 AM
"Reeeally?! That's so cool~! Man, Zoro, you're so lucky," a voice eagerly shouted over Zoro's cell phone receiver. Though the exhaustion in the voice was apparent, Zoro was just glad that the other even answered at this hour. Luffy normally slept like a log until it was absolutely necessary to wake up.
The security guard scowled slightly at his friend's upbeat tone. He should've known Luffy wouldn't see the problem in this. "No, it's not awesome," he said calmly, glancing briefly at the open door thresholds, "Did you hear a word I said? I could die!"
Zoro practically heard the confused head tilt and raised eyebrow Luffy most likely did. "Why don't you leave then? You have keys, don't you? You're not locked in," the younger man clarified.
"I'm not risking it! What if one of them sees me, idiot?"
Luffy yawned for a long period, and the dull sound of soft scratching seeped into Zoro's ear. "The guy on the phone's messing with you. I might not know a lot, but I don't think those things can get off the stage. I mean, have you seen the way they move? All robot-like and kinda stiff? There's no need to freak out over this."
Zoro got quiet as the reassuring advice slowly sunk in. Luffy was right, the guy probably was pulling his leg! Technology isn't that advanced yet, is it? A constant beep suddenly drowned out Luffy's voice, and Zoro realized someone else was calling him. He bid a quick goodnight to his tired friend, and clicked over to answer, pressing the phone against the shell of his ear once again. "Cook?" he questioned lightly. The grin in Sanji's voice was clear as he gave a sultry hum. Zoro flushed a bright red.
"Hey, sexy," the blonde chirped, "Parents home?"
"Don't you have work in the morning?" Zoro grunted. He held his phone between his cheek and shoulder as he dolefully scrolled through the cameras on the touchscreen monitor. Oddly enough, the bear, rabbit, and chicken hadn't moved yet. Closing his eyes, he breathed a sigh of relief.
"I don't have to go in until noon. Besides, I thought maybe you could use some company."
Zoro raised a thin eyebrow, stopping his curious browse throughout the dimly lit building. Did he just hear what he definitely just heard? "Cook, I swear if you're outside..." he trailed off irritably, earning a unabashedly loud cackle. Zoro gritted his teeth. Fucking cook, tricking him into this hellhole of a job and then expecting him goof around! "Go home! I've got work to do," he growled, leaning back in the chair.
There was a childish whimper, quickly followed by a whine. "But I miss my marimo!"
"Goddamn it, swirly-brow, I'll see you in the mor—!" Zoro was cut off by his own shocked gasp, feeling his heart plunge into the depths of his churning stomach. The bear's head was turned, his plastic eyes looking into the camera's lens straight on as if he knew Zoro was watching. Sanji called his name repeatedly, at first with extreme annoyance, and then concern started to form. Zoro shook his head. He was being ridiculous; he refused to believe those overgrown action figures could act on their own!
As the blonde's voice became more desperate for a response, Zoro cleared his throat idly. "I'm fine. Just...tired," he lied terribly. The intensity of his hammering heart surprised him, for he was not easily frightened or intimidated by anything. Sanji quickly caught on to the fact that Zoro was lying, but couldn't fathom why. Did he seriously not want him to stay the night? It's not like anyone else would see or bother them, right?
"I brought snacks," Sanji coaxed with a devious smile to no one in particular. There was a loud rumble over the speaker, assuming it was Zoro's bottomless belly, and a defeated grunt soon tickled the back of the security guard's throat. What if there really was the possibility of those creepy mascots walking around? Zoro didn't want the other to get hurt for the sole reason of his hunger. It would be best for him to send the blonde home, but the thrilling excitement of having company, forbidden company, gave him a sense of protection and a rush. "I..." Zoro bit his lip; fuck, this was difficult. "I can't, cook. Before you flip shit, there are these weird robots I'm supposed to keep an eye on, and if I don't, they could stuff me in a suit and kill me."
The other side of the line went silent, and Zoro had to thoroughly process what just came out of his mouth, and to exactly who it was explained to. Sanji huffed at him, promptly called him a stick-in-the-mud asshole, and hung up. With a sigh and a roaring, empty stomach, Zoro glanced at the monitor again, nearly falling out of his seat.
The fucking bear had vanished!
2:47 AM
By the time 2 AM hit, Zoro had transformed into a rather paranoid, suspicious mess. Each time he took his eye off the screen, one of the damn robots had wondered into another part of the building! How the fuck was this possible?! He figured the rabbit was extremely amused taunting him with its mouth hanging open on CAM 2B, revealing what appeared to be another set of teeth in the back of its throat. It twitched rapidly in various, abnormal ways, but Zoro wanted to blame it on the camera quality. Yes, that had to be it. Robots didn't twitch like that. Then again, before tonight, he also didn't think robots could fuck with him on such a mental level.
"You little shit," he shouted, accusingly pointing to the screen's corner, "You were just in the dining hall, how the hell did you get yourself in the closet? Wait, where's the rabbit?" The security guard's finger vigorously scrolled from room to room, a spike of panic and fear bubbling in his chest with each unsatisfactory result. Where did that purple bastard go?
"-but be careful, there are blind spots, especially by the doors."
Zoro whipped his head over to the two brightly shining buttons on his left, one a light green and the other a plain white. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he gave a soft push to the latter, immediately illuminating the hallway. Thankfully, nothing was there except a few harmless children drawings on the wall. Zoro took a deep breath. He was getting too worked up. Surely he could defend himself against seven foot toys. Suddenly, he felt a presence close by, right on top of him. It sent his guard spiraling upward, and he slammed a tanned hand down on the opposite door's light switch this time.
"Fuck!" Zoro screamed, terror blooming unexpectedly in his chest. The chicken stared hungrily at him through the small window, and its bib proclaiming "Let's Eat" did nothing to ease Zoro's mind. They both stood perfectly still with Zoro's hand planted on the button, afraid to make the slightest movement. "Go," the guard grunted, failing miserably to put a bit of authority in his voice. The chicken's head drooped crookedly and its eyebrows raised. Was it confused? Zoro tried again, this time more firmly, "S-Shoo! Instead of standing there, go find the rabbit for me...or something." It only continued to stare. Zoro sighed. Maybe these things were just stupid after all.
"Dumbass chi—" He stopped in mid sentence as the color drained helplessly from his face. The chicken erupted a long, strange, high-pitched sound, like a battle cry. The longer it sounded, Zoro began to compare it to that of a child's scream, which alone disturbed him. "Hey," he yelled over the sound, though every inch of his conscience begged him not to associate with it, "Hey, stop that! Are you malfunctioning?" To Zoro's complete surprise, the chicken did, in fact, stop making the hideous noise on command. So they could understand him; that was a good sign at least.
"—if they make their way to your office, don't let them in."
Zoro knew he should've closed the door sooner, but when it wasn't acting like a hyper nuisance, it was kind of cute. In a horrific, monstrous, creepy way. "I'm...gonna close the door now," he announced awkwardly after a serious moment of gazes. The metal door slid down at a mild speed, but the chicken didn't budge from its affixed place in the window, its hungered glower seeming to dull as Zoro took his hand away from the light switch. He clicked it again a second later, and it was already gone.
Zoro massaged the front of his neck softly as he stared off into space. He hadn't screamed like that in a while. Admittedly, his throat ached.
3:53 AM
Just two more hours, Zoro repeatedly reassured himself. Just two, then he would be able to return to his safe, warm home and sleep like there was no tomorrow. He wasn't coming back; there was nothing on Earth, there could never be any amount of money offered to him to ever step foot into this place again. It was already decided. Once the wall clock hit six, he would run. Zoro probably won't even remember to lock the door behind him.
He eventually noticed that using the cameras not only wasted a generous amount of power, but it ended up making him extremely nervous. It was like looking into the eyes of a feral beast right before you knew the inevitable bite would occur. There was a counter embedded inside the wall above Zoro's head, screaming 48% POWER in flashing red words and symbols. He couldn't resist the unsettling urge to check on the robots again, and after he found all three of them, the counter now clearly read 46%. Zoro dreaded the thought of it reaching zero.
Suddenly, as if the night couldn't get any weirder, something scuttled across the hallway. It was faster than the rabbit, yet its shape seemed incredibly slim. Zoro frowned, flipping urgently through the cameras until he spotted something different. Pirate Cove was closed off by a dark purple curtain, decorated with stars and glitter, when a fellow employee gave Zoro a tour. A white sign that read "Sorry! Out of Order" in childishly written letters was posted in front of it. But now, the curtain was cast open wide with nothing behind it, and the cutesy sign no longer gave off an adorable vibe. It somehow became a blood-splattered mess, revealing the eerie words "IT'S ME" on the canvas.
Rapid footsteps could be heard approaching Zoro's office; the sound of metal slapping repeatedly against titled floors. Zoro couldn't recall what exactly was in Pirate Cove, but he did not want to find out like this. The sound was getting closer and closer, until Zoro finally let his paranoia set in, and slammed a tanned hand down on the left door's glowing green button, breathing heavily. There, it would go away now, right? That's what the guy on the phone said. Silence made the tiny office seem even smaller in hindsight, and Zoro decided to wait a few more seconds before reopening the door. Suddenly, a loud, unyielding knock bashed against it, as if the one knocking had metal knuckles.
Zoro gritted his teeth as the insistent knocking continued, "Piss off!"
The knocking paused, and then resumed a little more politely. Zoro briefly glanced at the opposite door before dully browsing through the building. "You are not getting in," he clarified.
Whatever it was out there, it shifted from the door to the window. Zoro looked up to find a horrific sight. Was it some kind of withered ferret? No, wait, it was a fox. With extremely sharp, menacing teeth and...an eye-patch? It only got worse from there once the fox tapped a hooked limb against the glass.
"Seriously?" Zoro muttered to himself, "I'm starting to doubt that this is a kid's place."
4:45 AM
Zoro couldn't have been this tired, but then again, he probably was if it meant something this bizarre was currently staring into his soul. He glanced away, and then glanced back just as quickly only to find the newly arrived golden bear seated limply on the tiled floor, blocking the fan's waves of air. The security guard nearly jumped out of his skin once its head moved. "And what do you want?" Zoro demanded boldly, welcoming the late return of his backbone. "Are you gonna scream at me? Twitch? Pull out a hooked paw?"
Everything happened too fast; the sounds, the grabbing, the pure terror that temporarily stopped Zoro's heart. However, the bear had vanished, no longer searching his eyes with its own deep, empty sockets. He had sworn the…the thing had taken him, crushing his full lungs into insignificant shrivels of ash. But there he sat, basically ass-glued to the swivel chair with sweat, and panting like he'd just raced a six-wheeler.
"Zoro!"
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?" the green-haired man yelled into the hallways, poorly shielding his massive build.
"I know everything about you, shithead."
That voice. That snarky, gloating tone. Zoro looked towards the right threshold with so much disbelief on his features that it actually made him a bit dizzy. There was no way in hell that the cook was in such a God forsaken place. Zoro sheltered his face in his hands stiffly, sighed, and slowly rose up to meet the bastard's unbelievably adorable smile.
"I told you not to come here," Zoro grunted, trying to ignore the sudden sense of protection Sanji gave him. He did not need protecting, he was a protector, damn it. He shouldn't have felt so relieved at having another person in the building with him.
Sanji stepped into the cramped little space with him, and hopped up on the desk, directly beside the Freddy Fazbear band poster. Zoro shivered at the thought of those machines. "You should be fucking grateful; it took me forever to get back on this side of town. I almost made it home before my brain screamed, "Hey, remember when your boyfriend thought it was a good idea to microwave boxers?" After that, I expected you to be having seizures on the floor or something." Zoro gave a heated growl at the mention of that memory. It's not like he knew microwaves were even capable of setting clothes on fire! The goddamn dryer had broken, and he was late for work. What was he supposed to do, go commando? Not while little kids insisted on using him as a jungle gym all day, that's for sure. Sanji shrugged loosely, tapping his short fingernails on the desk with no intended pattern, "You sounded so miserable on the phone, too…and it's not like it matters. We'll be done by morning."
Zoro shot an eyebrow into his hairline, "Done with what?"
The blonde patted down his slim blue jeans, and when he didn't find what he was looking for, scavenged through his jacket's contents. Zoro's mind took this time to really focus on the big picture. "Wait, how the hell did you get in? All the entrances are locked."
Sanji stopped his search, and gave the other a stupidly obvious look. He was quite good at those kinds of expressions. His glares could make the word "stupid" itself feel ashamed. "One of the other employees; the one walking around in the chicken suit opened the door for me."
"R…Really?"
The blonde nodded curtly, "Yeah. Didn't even ask questions. Cool guy."
Zoro raked a hand through his hair shakily, bringing his hand back down to his mouth to control the sudden wave of nausea.
Sanji held off the search again once Zoro started gagging quietly, "What now?"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Zoro chanted, browsing carefully through the cameras. The rabbit was in the dining room, the bear had went back on the stage, but the chicken had yet to show up. Zoro didn't even know they could open doors. That probably explained why his office doors didn't have handles. But why would their programmers even consider letting them...? Wait, never mind, he refused to think any more about this until that devilish bird was found. "It just let you in?" Zoro questioned with mild interest, still clicking around as the power dropped vigorously, "It opened the door and left? It didn't try to maul you?"
Sanji scooted back further onto the desk until his back hit the poster, moving the metal fan over a few inches. He didn't seem to understand the potential danger he had walked himself into. His lips pursed softly, as if they were guiding him through his confusion, "Why would he?"
Zoro shoved the security tablet into the blonde's lap hurriedly, and let the left door slide close at its unbelievably slow pace. Wild metal pounding suddenly attacked the door more savagely than earlier, making Sanji nearly topple over from surprise. Zoro wondered if the robots knew there was another living soul they could torment with him. "Hey, calm down out there! Zoro, you dumbass, open it."
The green-haired guard's eyes widened as he snatched the tablet back, "Are you nuts?"
The blonde tried to reach for the white button, but Zoro slapped his hand away like a persistent madman. Sanji roughly kicked his shoulder upon reflex. "What? It's obviously important."
Zoro absently caressed his throbbing bone while scowling. The banging outside seemed to become softer, as if the fox had lost some of its aggression. Did they just need to wait until it tired itself out? Could robots even get tired? A sudden familiar high pitched screech came crashing down into Zoro's ears, and he barely had time to slam the forgotten door shut. "Cook," Zoro said simply, clear terror apparent in his eyes, "I'm trying to tell you it's not a person!"
Sanji blinked, then furrowed his curly eyebrows. "The fuck do you mean by that?"
It only took a few long minutes for Zoro to fully explain what the hell was happening. Once he was finished, Sanji understood perfectly well, but that didn't necessarily mean he believed a word of it. The screeching slowly became lower and human-like until it resembled a toddler's bloodcurdling scream. It lasted for several more moments before Sanji finally let his uncomfortableness show. Zoro's security tablet had frozen entirely, the purple rabbit's menacing glare forever stuck on the fuzzy screen.
"What's going on?" Sanji questioned, a slight fear dripping from his tone. Zoro didn't respond as he looked at the clock ticking down above their heads; 5:56 AM. There was a smidge of power left over, no thanks to keeping the doors shut for so long, and it probably wouldn't be enough to make it towards daylight. The fox's violent knocking started anew; the reckless blows were leaving dents within the steel. Zoro began to sweat in panic. Only 1% POWER remained.
Then, sudden darkness. No more knocking, screaming, lights, or sounds. Zoro stood up out of his swivel chair and almost tripped over his own feet in order to get closer to the unusually quiet blonde. Fear clouded his mind; he recalled his experience with the golden bear, and wanted to save the cook from such a terrible sensation. "Sanji, can you hear me? Are you still there?"
"'M fine, 'm fine, mosshead," Sanji brushed off the frantically wandering hands on his arm. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Zoro exhaled a long, energy consuming breath he didn't know he was holding. The office doors had risen incredibly fast, snapping up into the walls quicker than when they came down. Zoro peered into the hallway, meeting nothing but darkness and an uneasy feeling spiraling in his chest. "We're not safe here," he spoke lowly, making Sanji slightly confused for a split second. "We have to leave."
Sanji hopped off from the desk casually, as if Zoro overreacting was a normal thing. "What?" he asked dully.
Zoro's eyes widened suddenly. There were sounds now, except there were far and slow, like a distant metal pounding. He soon realized they were coming closer towards the office. They were footsteps? Delicate music tones gave off a foreboding atmosphere; the serene lullaby was anything but. The mutilated fox appeared to have vanished, along with the psychopathic chicken. Why did they flee so fast? What was coming down the hall to make them scatter like this? And why did the music seem so loud from where they were?
The footsteps stopped. Piercing white eyes flashed like a dimming light bulb from the left hall, making Zoro take a few cautious steps back. It was the bear, staring creepily hard at both confused men at the same time somehow. The unmistakable lullaby had remained at the same volume, even though the animatronic was clearly under their noses now.
And, of course, like the fucking skeptical bastard he was, Sanji had to start a conversation with it. Zoro nearly wanted to let the damn machine take him, just so the blonde would genuinely believe him for once.
"Hey, buddy, you know where the fuse box is? I'll take care of the blackout," Sanji offered, walking up to the unmoving, dark figure.
"Cook, don't—"
It happened all too quickly. The chef had yelled out, the shuffle of fabric, a sudden creak of old, rusty joints; it only took seconds for Zoro to start frantically searching the now empty space of air beside him. His heart pounded fiercely as a few nervous sweat drops ran down his forehead. Oddly enough, the fan was still running despite the loss of power, drying the fearful perspiration on his face like a gesture of reassurance.
Then, he felt something. It was barely a brush, but at least he could tell his heart to stop the damn marathon it was running. It was probably Sanji he was touching, though, he wasn't sure exactly which part of him he was feeling. If he was going on basic shape, it was like a nose? If he went by texture, it was…
"Zoh-roh…" came the unmistakable sound of the blonde's smoke-hazed voice.
The security guard yanked his hand away in mild disgust, only to bring it back down to the cook's sunset-colored T-shirt, quickly wiping off the wetness. Sanji kicked the other's shin hard, but missed slight since it was dark. He smiled softly, "You're alive."
Zoro was thankful that the other couldn't see him, because his face felt twisted in a scowl from his throbbing leg. The regular force would have most likely broken his bone. "What's your problem?" the gourmet chef questioned.
"I was concerned, that's it," Zoro grunted.
Sanji gave an unseen smirk, chuckling, "Aw, scared of a few costumes?"
Zoro rolled his eyes. He glanced at the repeatedly flashing POWER sign above them, and for a split second, there was a flicker of a different shape. What it was, Zoro couldn't tell, but he definitely caught it. And it felt…wrong to have seen it, strangely.
Bright, blinding backup lights took a hold of their visions for a good ten seconds. The POWER sign had reset to 100%, and the digital clock proudly told them it was 6:00 AM. Sanji squinted and breathed a sigh. Zoro looked around the tiny office space, finding no blood, no gore, no anything that indicated demonic death. Zoro wanted to laugh suddenly. He wanted to laugh as merrily as he could while dragging the blonde off the premises by his hair. No, not his hair, by his curly eyebrows.
"I can't believe we're alive," Zoro grinned savagely, "We beat them!"
"Beat who?" Sanji was in the processing of retrieving a cigarette as he spoke, irritated and frowning, "I'm tired of being left in the dark."
Zoro was in too of a dorky, euphoric mood to acknowledge Sanji's anger. He pointed upwards, still grinning massively, "You're not in the dark."
After being told promptly to "shut the fuck up," Zoro laughed aloud, stepping back to double over. He accidentally kicked something into the far wall, and both men looked curiously at each other. The object had rolled on its side a bit before landing like a coin. Again, like the skeptical piece of shit Sanji was, the blonde went to pick it up. It was obvious not to mess with it in Zoro's opinion, but unfortunately this was not the severely heedful green-haired man. "Cook, no," Zoro protested, knowing full well he couldn't put a stop to it. What if it were a trick by one of the robots out there? What if it were a bomb? Granted, the robots would have been blown to high heaven along with them, but what if they didn't even care?
"Shut up," the blonde spat back. Zoro waited for the inevitable boom.
"It's a cupcake?" Sanji announced, asking more than telling. "Oh, it's a cupcake; plastic. With little googly eyes, that's cute."
Zoro forced himself to look at the other's cupped hands. It was, in fact, a bright pink cupcake toy (decoration?) and obviously not a bomb, so the security guard didn't have to slap it out of the other's grip. Sanji looked pleased with it, probably because it was food based. Was he going to keep it like some kind of souvenir? Ah, yes, a great reminder of the vivid nightmare they've faced together. Cute, indeed.
"C'mon, let's go home. I'm exhausted. Didn't even get to do what I wanted in the first place," Sanji muttered under his breath as he strolled out the office. Zoro followed closely behind, giving one last look at the place he'd never return to again.
The pizzeria seemed completely innocent in the light of the rising sun; children's finger paintings stuck to the walls, but there was one which gave Zoro the creeps. It showed a circle of kids surrounding a severed head of one of the robots. Why would a kid even draw that? What kind of kid would draw that, thinking it was appropriate? And who in the hell taped it to the wall?
They eventually made it out of the halls, past the bathrooms, and finally, the dining room. The bear, chicken, and rabbit had been propped up like they were never touched, all stiff and holding their own instruments. Frankly, it pissed Zoro off to see them so casual and fake. He knew what they could do already! It was like pretending to be sleep when the person who caught you saw your eyes open. It just didn't work anymore.
Sanji didn't seem to put together the oh so broken pieces of how the "employees" were now lifeless on the stage. He also didn't pay attention to the drawings. Not to criticize his loved one, but how dense could you be not to noticed that nobody else had punched in all night?
The blonde beat him outside, politely holding one of the double doors open and tucking a hand away in his jeans out of habit. With a somewhat disappointed look, Sanji slowly pulled something out of the left pocket that made Zoro want to bite his head off.
It was lube.
"You really expected...that to happen?" the former guard asked, clearly in disbelief but also annoyed that he didn't expect this from the blonde horn dog.
Sanji shrugged lightly, "I mean, it's not like we couldn't have, right?"
Zoro could have lashed out, spouting all the definite Do's and Don't's of the pizzaria's work requirements, but, surprisingly, he kept his lips pursed thickly. He gave up on trying to explain his actions. He supposed he'd never be believed.
The loud roaring rev of an engine was the last thing Zoro expected to hear so early in the morning, especially with such abnormal serenity. Then again, a part of him was relieved that he didn't have to leave the premises unsupervised. Haunted or not, it was still his responsibility, and he took pride in doing satisfactory job. The small beige car parked crookedly in the first available parking slot by the entrance, putting a good seven feet between it and Sanji's sky blue truck. A young man eventually got out, with sandy brown hair trimmed above the eyes and a slight weary look. His clothes matched Zoro's, except the other wore khakis instead of jeans.
The blonde shook hands with him first, firm and short, and then wordlessly took his leave. Zoro politely did the same, but with more of a charming expression and not a bitchy attitude. Sanji might have still been a little pissed off about the failure of his plan. The two security guards nodded at each other once Zoro let go, heading towards the already running truck. He only looked back when his replacement couldn't get the key into the lock, fiddling loudly with the numerous keys on the chain. At one point, he even dropped them and had to start over again. It made Zoro smile, chuckling supportively, "Have a nice day, Mike."
Mike flashed a toothy grin, waving enthusiastically before closing the double doors.
Wait a minute.
He wasn't going to let Mike walk into that deathtrap, was he? Zoro realized this too late, as Mike already disappeared into the building. What was he waiting for? He should storm in there and help-
Sanji honked the horn consistently with a scowl on his face, mouthing the other to "bring your green ass." Zoro briefly thought about the effort it would take to alert Mike of the dangers, and supposed nothing would happen during daylight, if the phone guy's words were truly to be trusted. And who knows, after looking at those drawings, Zoro speculated dealing with the children could be a fate worse than the nightshift.