Ok guys... Hope this story is as good as my other one..."A Love Like Ours".

~I don't own Twilight.

Chapter 1 BPOV

"Happy birthday to me….." I am lying on the floor and singing to myself, once again, in an alcohol and drug induced stupor. Today is my 20th birthday, and I am alone…..still. Edward left about 2 years ago and never came back. Then there was Jacob, who ended up deserting me as well. About a month after graduation, Aro found me. Well, not Aro exactly…more like Felix, who took me to Volterra to see Aro.

Since I had no reason to want to be a vampire any longer, I made a deal with him and he put me to work at this dingy strip club of his, "The Other Side". As long as I worked here, I was fine. The moment I quit, either I was to be turned or killed. He didn't care what happened here, since humans worked here, with the exception of a few members of management who were vamps. All the other girls here also have the same arrangement as I do. Strip or die. Gotta love it.

How did it come down to this…my lovely little self-medicated party? That is easy for me to answer. After he left, my life went down hill and fast. Jacob abandoning me for that stupid wolf pack didn't help matters. I turned to drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain of all that in combination with the issues I had with the whole Aro arrangement.

It started with the drinking. It numbed the pain and gave me the "liquid balls" I needed to get on stage. One night, a guy came into the club and was backstage selling drugs to the other girls. It had been a few weeks since the alcohol started not becoming as effective, so I wanted to try something else. I started smoking weed, then tried coke. It just went on from there, and here I am now, blissed out of my fuckin mind.

I have drastically changed from the sweet innocent Isabella Swan that I used to be. I moved out of my dad's house and now live in Seattle a few blocks from work. It isn't the greatest neighborhood, but I can afford the rent and utilities. Every month, I deposit a few thousand dollars into my dad's bank account to help him out. It is kinda my way of saying that I'm sorry for how I turned out. He has no idea that I am the one doing it, and I want to keep it that way. I know that if he found out, he would try to find me even harder and I am too ashamed to have him see me like this.

I don't have to work tonight, but I might go in anyways, just for something to do. There have been a few times that I have done this and nobody says anything to me. I get so bored staring at my walls that I need to get out. I don't talk to anyone from school and I don't have any friends. Mostly that is my fault, though. I have issues with getting too close to people. In the end, they are only gonna leave me like Edward and Jacob did, so there is no point.

As I head to work, I get a feeling that things aren't going to be right tonight. Something is going to happen to change my life forever. I chalk this feeling up to the amount of coke I snorted tonight, and continue on my way. It seems like any other night when I get there. Old rich guys drooling all over themselves while watching the dancers, the smell of cigars emanating throughout the club, and a few rowdy college guys cumming in their pants. Great!

I head backstage and throw on my school girl outfit. Tonight, I am dancing to "Something In Your Mouth" by Nickelback. I chose this song for one of my routines after one of my first nights….before the alcohol. I was nervous and for some reason, decided to suck on my thumb as a form of comfort. Some old perv threw a grand in my tits and told me I looked "so much cuter with something in my mouth". Since that line is in the song, it only became fitting.

My music starts, and head on stage. I hear the whoops and hollers that I am now used to….especially from the college guys. Then I hear it, the one word that breaks me. "Bella?" I look in the direction from which my name was called, unable to really see anything all that well. Deciding to ignore it, I continue on. A moment later, I turn around as my name is said again….only too see someone I wished wasn't here.

Jacob. I gave him a look telling him that right now wasn't a good time. He didn't get it and kept trying to talk to me. Shit! I crawled over to him and whispered in his ear. "I'll talk to you right after this, let me finish this song and I am done for the night." He nodded and sat down. Fuck my life! Why the fuck did he have to come here? I finished my routine and quickly changed back into my skinny jeans and tank top, throwing on my leather jacket, and headed out to face Jake.

When I came out, I saw Jake standing next to the door with Embry, Quil, Sam, and Paul. Great, like I needed everyone to see me like this. I walked up to him, trying to avoid the stares of the rest of the pack. "We can talk at my place. Ready?" I needed so bad to do a line and have a drink before I could deal with this shit. We walked quickly and silently to my apartment. Once inside, I excused myself to the bathroom and told them all to make themselves at home.

I quickly snorted the line of coke I had already waiting for me and sat down on the edge of the tub, placing my head in my hands. Some kind of warning would have been nice…then I would have had 2 lines ready. I can't deal with this shit! He's gonna tell Charlie and my life will be fucked! The Chief of Police's daughter….an alcoholic, drug addict, and a stripper…just what he needs to hear. Deciding that I can't hide in here all night, I head out to the kitchen.

Jake of course followed me and I held up a finger, asking him to give me a minute as I grab the bottle of Captain Morgan from the freezer and proceed to chug until I need to stop and breathe. "What are you doing here Jake?" I can't look at him, so I keep staring at the fridge. He decided that he needed to look at me while talking to me and whips me around to face him.

"That's what I should be asking you, Bella. What happened to you? What happened to the Bella who was sweet, caring, and innocent? This isn't you." I scoffed at his questions. Hare dare he? He has no right to judge me after everything.

"She died. It was either kill her off or be killed. The Volturi found me still human and it was either strip or die. What would you have chosen, Jacob?" He stared at me in disbelief with his mouth hanging wide open.

"What about the alcohol?"

"What about it? That among other things helps to ease the pain caused by both you and Edward. At first, you were helping with me dealing with Him leaving, but then you left me too. It all became too much to handle. The alcohol helps numb the pain." I know I shouldn't get cocky with him, but really. I can't help it. "What right do you think you have to give a shit about me, huh? It's not like you sincerely care." I took another gulp from the bottle and hopped up on the counter. This is going to be a long conversation, so I might as well get comfy.

Please show some love (or hate). I'll take either. Just want to know if you guys think I should keep writing it. Let me know!