For your reference: This is set after the events of After The Storm
He jolts awake seemingly out of nowhere. He doesn't know what wakes him until he hears laboured breathing to his right. He turns his head and it takes him awhile to register the shaking figure he finds there.
Then it hits him. He jerks towards her, but stops himself from reaching out to her just as quickly. He doesn't know if it would be a good idea to touch her. But he can't not.
He allows his arm to resume its journey towards her left shoulder blade. She is turned away from him, her back facing him. He gently places his hand on her arm, softly running his thumb over the rounded bone of her shoulder. Her whole body jumps under his touch, her breath quickening as a whimper breaks through her pursed lips. It makes his heart break.
"Kate—" her name comes out as a breathy plea— "Kate, you're okay. It's okay. Kate, please wake up."
He runs his hand over her face, moving her sweat-dampened hair off of her slick forehead, causing a shiver to run down her spine. With a final shudder, her breathing slows, her brow furrows further, and she releases a deep, defeated sigh. There is so much sorrow in that one exhale.
"Hey," he whispers to her waking form, clearing his throat and shifting away to give her some space, "you with me?"
Her breathing picks up again at the sound of his voice and she hides her face further in her pillow.
"Hey, no, Kate!" he implores, turning away from her to lie on his back with a huff. He wants to help her, he recognises what this is, he's seen it before and he just wants to help this time around. And then he hears it. She's crying. He didn't mean to make her cry.
"I-I'm sorry, Cas-s-sle!" She sobs into her pillow, her voice muffled. What?! She thinks this is her fault?
"Wha-? No. Kate—" He runs a hand down his face, willing himself from saying anything further in case his frustration gets the better of him and he says something to make this surreal situation worse. Instead he does something that is probably as equally stupid, and turns his body to her again to wrap himself around her.
Her body wracks with the sobs she is trying to hide from him, but she doesn't shake him off so he takes that as a good sign. Out of nowhere, an idea comes into his head and he can't think of anything better.
"Kate didn't want to cry. She hadn't done anything wrong. She took a deep breath and tried to slow her breathing, curb the sobbing. She wiped the tears from her face and eyes and continued to take deep calming breaths." He wiped away the tears from her red, rosy cheeks as he continued his story. "'Breathe in, breathe out, in, and out,' she told herself and finally her breathing started to get slower."
A small smile of adoration painted itself on his face as she started to follow his narrating. Her breathing came back to normal and she canted into him a little as he resumed.
"She cleared her mind of all the nasty thoughts and just focused on the good. She focused on the softness of the sheets touching her skin, the way the mattress cradled her body, and the pillow under her head giving her neck the much needed support. She focused on her breathing and said a silent thank you to her lungs, her respiratory system, and her heart for all working properly and providing her with everything she needed to survive." Kate's breathing was getting slower, her body growing slack as the stress of anxiety left her. She would be fast asleep soon, but that didn't deter him as he pressed on.
"Kate thought of all the people who loved her. The people who are there for her no matter what. She had her partners, Ryan and Esposito, who loved and protected her like the older brothers they were. Lanie, who would literally help her cover up a dead body. Captain Gates, who looked at Kate and saw herself but so much more. Her father, who is so proud to have a daughter like his Katie, so blessed and grateful beyond words for the daughter that saved his life. Martha, who loved her like the daughter she never had. Alexis, who looked up to Kate, despite Alexis' own bristly attitude towards her at times. And that annoying man-child, writer who followed her around like a pathetically enchanted puppy. The one who thought she was the most remarkable, challenging, maddening, frustrating person he had ever met, but loved her just the same. She inspired him to do great things. Things like jump in front of a bullet for her. And would do it again in a heartbeat."
She was fast asleep by now, her breathing level, her body soft and relaxed into the cradle of his. His words had gotten heavy with the droop of his eyelids, but he persisted just a moment longer.
"'I am so proud of you,' her boyfriend had said to her sleeping form as he placed a reverent kiss to the crown of her head." She would probably kill him, if she were awake, for saying the "b" word so soon in their relationship, but as Rick drifted off to sleep a minuscule smile creeps onto Kate's face before she lets out a sigh of contentment, snuggling closer to her boyfriend.
A/N: Much thanks to Alex for beta-ing. This is my first fic. I couldn't have mustered up the courage to post it if it weren't for this wonderful community of writers. Thank you to Esther, Alex, Raina, Jen, L, and every awesome person that I got to interact with through the Castle Fic Stream Con.