Learning To Love With A Broken Heart

(Chapter One: The End Of Forever)

Olivia laid on the roof of her apartment staring up at the sky, her black dress a crumpled mass as it fell around her. Her apartment was full of people, people she was not yet ready to face. This was the one place she could come to be alone. Tears streamed down her face as the summer rain started to fall, but she just laid there too tired and weak to move.

Downstairs, Elliot weaved in and out of the room full of friends and strangers. He made sure there was enough food and drink for everyone, then went in search of her. He opened the door to the rooftop, he knew Olivia well enough to know this was where she went when she was trying to escape. He stood in the doorway and watched her for a moment. She didn't move, barely breathed and just laid there staring up into the rain as if searching for answers to the questions she wasn't sure how to ask.

Elliot walked across the rooftop in his two thousand dollar black suit, the only one nice suit he owned. He stood beside her for a moment with his hands in his pockets as he inspected the view of the city from this place. He knew why she came here. This was their place, she and Elliot's. Their get away and with the beautiful view from where he stood it was the closest place to Heaven in the city.

Elliot took a deep breath and laid down beside her, not saying a word. Her hands laid motionlessly out to her sides and her hair sort of fanned out framing her pretty tear stained face. She didn't look at him, she just stared up, in search of something he could not give her. Elliot looked at her for a moment watching closely through the rain to see her tears. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces and she was feeling the worst pain she had ever felt, Elliot had no idea how to fix it. He wanted to take her pain away. To somehow fix everything that had gone wrong and bring him back to her. Anything to mend her broken heart. But it was impossible. What was done, was done. Now no one could ever bring him back. Olivia was going to have to learn to live with out the love of her life.

Elliot stared up into the sliver clouds as the rain fell down around them. They were both completely soaked now, but he didn't care. He wasn't leaving her side, not until he knew she was going to be alright. She couldn't tell him now, but she needed his here. So here he would stay, by her side, doing the best he could to try and comfort her.

Elliot reached beside him as he looked up into the clouds and slipped his hand into hers as it laid limp and almost lifeless. He squeezed it gently and felt her squeeze his. This was her way of letting him know she knew he was here, her small little thank you and all the conversation she had the energy for at the moment.

They laid in that spot, in the rain, holding hands for nearly two hours before she finally turned her head to look at him.

"Hey pretty girl." Elliot said softly as she stared at him with heart ache in her eyes.

"Hey," she replied almost breathlessly as more tears rolled down the side of her face.

Elliot locked his fingers in hers and raised her hand to meet his lips.

"I know it doesn't feel like it now Liv, but you're gonna be okay," he whispered.

"I don't want to be," she sobbed. "I don't want to have to learn to live without him. He is supposed to be here. Right here, beside me. Forever. He promised me that." She raised her hand to wipe the tears from her face and Elliot looked at the large diamond engagement ring, as it sparkled even in the rain.

"He loved you so much. You were his world. He never would have made that promise if he didn't think he was going to be able to keep it."

"But he still isn't here."

"He's here," Elliot said combing his fingers through her hair. "He'll always be here."

She raised up propping herself on her palms with her arms stretched behind her as she looked at Elliot. Her hair was completely rain soaked and tiny droplets of water beaded up on her eyelashes.

"We should get you out of this rain before you get sick," Elliot suggested.

"I don't think I can face all of those people," she said wearily.

"I have an idea," he said tucking a strand wavy wet of hair behind her ear.

Elliot took her by the hand and lead her down the fire escape one floor. He opened a window that lead to the hallway in front of the elevators and helped her to climb inside. They took the elevator to the ground level.

"Wait here," Elliot said softly as he kissed her forehead.

He walked around to the parking lot and pulled his car around then helped her inside. Then they drove.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked looking into her eyes.

"Anywhere. Anywhere, but here."

Elliot nodded. "Have you eaten anything today?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Liv, that isn't what I asked."

"No," she said softly as she stared straight ahead into the city traffic.

Elliot went by a Greek restaurant that she really liked. She waited in the car as he went inside and got them some food. He then drove back to his apartment, where is was quiet and they could be alone.

"I'll get you some dry clothes," he said dropping his soaked suit jacket at the door.

Elliot walked down the hall into his bedroom and got out a tee shirt and a pair of pajama pants with a drawstring. He walked back into the living room and handed her the dry clothes.

"There are fresh towels in the bathroom closet, if you'd like to take a shower and get warmed up."

"Sounds good," she said softly as he bottom lip trembled a little.

"Take your time," Elliot said squeezing her hand. "When you're finished I will make us a plate."

"Okay," she whispered fighting back tears again.

Olivia walked down the hallway and into the bathroom. She laid the dry clothes on the counter and locked the door. She adjusted the water in the shower and pulled a towel and washcloth from the closet. Dropping her wet clothing into a pile in the floor she stepped into the shower pulling the curtain closed behind her.

For what seemed like hours she just stood under the heat of the steamy water, letting it pour over her body. After a while she picked up the washcloth and poured body wash onto it. She smoothed it across her skin hoping to wash away the heaviness of the heartache that had settled inside her. She rinsed off and reached for the shampoo. She smiled a little as she noticed the bottle of Mr. Bubble, bubble bath sitting in the corner. Elliot must have had the kids over the weekend. She picked up a bottle of strawberry scented shampoo, obviously belonging to Maureen or one of the other girls and shampooed her hair.

She stepped out and wrapped herself in the soft security of the fluffy white towel. She stood for a moment staring at her reflection in the mirror. She almost didn't even recognize herself. She hadn't eaten or slept in the three days since she had heart the news. The news that would change her life forever. What had started out to be the best day of her life, had quickly turned out to be the worst.

She pressed her lips together and got dressed. She towel dried her hair and smoothed Elliot's comb through it, then headed back into the kitchen where he now stood. She climbed onto the barstool in front of the counter and watched as he pulled the food from the bag and fixed them each a plate.

"Would you like a glass of wine?"

"You have wine?"

"From the last time I fixed you dinner here. But I assure you it is still good."

"I really shouldn't."

"Liv, one glass. It might help you feel better."

"Okay, one glass."

He poured two glasses of her favorite wine and took a seat beside her. She sipped her wine and ate a few bites of her food. Elliot could only imagine what she was feeling right now.

"I can take you back home whenever you're ready. But you are welcome stay here as long as you'd like."

"Thank you," she said softly. "Maybe just tonight."

"Okay," Elliot said holding her hand once more. "The guest room is set up. It is yours as long as you want it. If you need anything else, just let me know."

Olivia nodded slowly.

That night as she slept she whimpered. Elliot stood in the doorway and watched her as she almost cried in her sleep. Not so much having a nightmare, but dreams of the one she had lost.

He stepped into the room and tucked the blanket around her, then kissed her forehead gently.

"It's gonna be okay sweetheart," he said softly. "I am right here beside you. You are not alone."

He took a seat in the floor beside the bed and watched over her as she slept.