'The Hobbit: an unexpected journey' gave us Hobbit book-lovers quite a shock: both in a good way AND a bad way. There were things that were added that made us uncomfortable, and things that were left out that we were dying to see. Also, let's not forget the fact that Peter Jackson divided the book into three movies. And the 48-frames effect on the movie has received many complaints by fans around the world.

A lot of these flaws are flaws that only us book-fans can see… and yet… we still think that the movie turned out absolutely, positively, unquestionably amazing. It had some elements similar to The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but yet it had its own vibe. On December 14, 2012, it was like we were journeying back to Middle Earth.

But there are some… Who have been silent. I have noticed many fans lately who wonder what the hobbit characters would think of this current movie, so I recently traveled down to Middle Earth to hopefully get their feedback, for the sake of this fanfiction site. It was…. Very interesting.

~0~0~0~

It was a few months ago that I traveled to Middle Earth to try and find the main Hobbit characters for an interview (how I was able to travel to Middle Earth is VERY top secret; Middle Earth would meet its peril if all fan girls knew how to get there). I first tried the most obvious place to find a few of the Dwarves: Erebor. But apparently, the guards had known already that I was representing fanfiction, so they 'warned' me not to take another step closer to their border by pointing all of their crossbows in my general direction. My next trip was to the Woodland realm, but Thranduil and Legolas had signed restraining orders not allowing a single 'Mary Sue' to enter Mirkwood. THEIR guards assumed that I was one, and this time they actually tried to shoot me. After I was questioned by them, I was escorted back to the border (Talk about distrust of strangers). Still left with my book-sense, I avoided Beorn's home altogether. I was able to find Rivendell, and thankfully they allowed me in, But Elrond refused an interview. I only stayed in Rivendell for about three days; during that time I was able to get a confession out of Lindir, in which he said exactly "That absurd film made me look like Elrond's slave. Can't anyone tell by my name that I'm a musician?!" and then stomped off to the hall of fire. I was avoided by many of the Elves during my visit, but on the third day they eagerly gave me directions to the Shire, then sent me on my way.

And so, after a long, time-consuming, unpleasant, unsuccessful journey across Middle Earth, I finally made it to Bilbo's front door. It was some time in the evening, but the house was so quiet that no one seemed to be at home. I was about to knock, when it hit me: I forgot to ask what year I was in. It had to be before the events of the war of the Ring; Elrond was still in Rivendell, and Legolas was still in the Woodland realm with his father. I had assume that it was maybe some years after Erebor was re-established. The Shire was going to be my last stop before I would give up and return to my home, so I held my breath, crossed my fingers, and knocked on the door.

To my surprise, Gandalf opened it. "Now who are…" he began, but his cheerful smile turned into a deep frown when he looked down at me. "You're from fanfiction, aren't you?" he sighed.

"Yes, I am Tatharwen315… but It's not what you think," I begged. "I didn't trample all around Middle Earth for days just to see if I could hook up with Legolas, or some other Elf! I came here because I was hoping that I could ask you and Bilbo a few questions…"

Gandalf still didn't seemed impressed. "Your journey was pointless then. Go home," he snapped, and tried to shut the door. I quickly jammed my foot inside keep the door propped open. At this point, Gandalf would need fifty crossbows wielded by the woodland realm's finest archers if he wanted for me to give up and leave. "I only want to ask for your opinion on the current Hobbit movie," I said boldly, "There are many fanfiction authors who are dying to know your feedback. And who knows? This could be to your own benefit."

Through the crack in the door, I could see Gandalf start to look curious. "How?" he asked.

I bit my bottom lip and tried to think. "Well… What are these 'Mary Sue' girls anyways?

Gandalf sighed and opened the door a little wider. "Hmmm, let's see… The origin for Mary Sues came from Paula Smith, who in 1973 published a parody story for Star Trek called 'A Trekkie's tale' which starred Lieutenant Mary Sue who was only fifteen and a half years old. Such characters at that time were generally original female adolescents who had romantic liaisons with established canonical adult characters, or in some cases were the younger relatives or protégées of those characters. "

I nodded, and pretended to listen as he went on about the history of Mary Sues, the constructed criticism about them by many authors around the world, personal essays which described self-insertion, and the different names for male Mary Sues, like Marty Stu, Larry Stu, Mary Joe, and Gary Stu.

Finally, I started to pay attention when he said, "And so as I mentioned earlier, Middle Earth has been having problems with Mary Sues showing up out of the blue. The Mary sues that we're having problems with are young adolescent authors who either show up as themselves, or have the ability to disguise themselves as anything to female rangers, Elvish warriors or meek maidens, and so on. But one of the most common traits about them is that most of them have violet eyes and long golden hair, and all of them are in pursuit of any male character that they find appealing."

I glanced at my reflection from one of the windows and thanked the heavens that I had short black hair and brown eyes.

"And also," he said in almost a whisper, "They all come from YOUR fanfiction site."

Gandalf finished and crossed his arms. I wanted to ask him how he knew all of this, but I decided not to ask in fear of another long lecture. I saw the look on his face and realized that he was waiting for me to say something back. An idea quickly popped into my mind, but it would be until much, much later that I would feel regret about the lie that I told him next. "Well… Did you know that 95% of Mary Sues that come from my fanfiction site haven't read the Lord of the Rings books?"

Gandalf nearly gasped in shock. "So that must be why the Mary Sues here are so dumb!"

I nodded. "Of course! So if you let me in this Hobbit-hole for an interview, I can publish the answers on my profile, have the Mary Sues read it, and in some way convince them to read the books!"

Gandalf instantly changed into a brighter mood and laughed. "So if they read the books, then means that they'll gain more knowledge about middle Earth and stop showing up for the hope of having their favorite male character fall in love with them? Brilliant! Why didn't you mention this earlier? Oh, never mind, come inside, we're all here!"

I grinned, thinking that this was the best lie that I have ever told. He stepped aside and allowed me to walk in, and as I did, I began to wonder what Gandalf meant by 'We're all here'.

To my surprise (and confusion) ALL THIRTEEN of the Dwarves and Bilbo were sitting around the hearth! "What year is it!?" I cried out to Gandalf. He slumped his shoulders and gave out an irritable sigh. "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to discuss the time-frame for this dimension….. It's a bit complicated."

"Who's that?" Bilbo asked in a slightly timid voice, who was sitting on the couch. All thirteen of the Dwarves looked up, noticing me for the first time, and immediately got out their weapons and formed a circle around me and Gandalf. I instantly spotted Thorin as he walked up to Gandalf, who didn't look like a Dwarf who received enough hugs in his childhood. "Why did you let HER in here?" he demanded in a gruff voice (like Peter Jackson, I had imagined that the Dwarves had an accent similar to Scottish, but when Thorin spoke he sounded like he had more of an Angelo-Saxton accent.)

"Now, now, she traveled all the way down from Erebor to look for all of you, you have to give her that," Gandalf replied in a calm voice. "She's here on an important errand to supply current authors on our opinion about the hobbit movie that just came out. You know," Gandalf added in a whisper only for me and Thorin to hear, "She said that she could even stop the Mary Sues from coming. You can do this for the sake of your nephews!"

Thorin sighed and glanced over at two Dwarves who were the youngest and had yellow beards. Those two seemed to be holding their weapons tighter than the other Dwarves, and glared at me like I was going to attempt to make out with them at any given moment in time.

"They've been attacked by other authors?" I whispered to Thorin. He nodded. "That's why we're here. There were so many trying to get into Erebor that we had to flee to the Shire. We're just hoping that they'll stop showing up so we can go home soon."

"Understood" I said. Gandalf straitened his back and cleared his throat. "Well? Do you agree to let her help you out or not?" he said, trying to hide his impatience. Thorin was silent for a few moments before he slowly nodded. "Alright," he sighed. But then he grabbed his sword and pointed the blade at my throat. "But if YOU are just some Mary Sue in disguise, then you'll have another thing coming!" I trembled but nodded. I knew right then that it was going to be a while before I would fully gain the Dwarves' trust.

I didn't move until he lowered his sword and put it back in its sheath. Thorin gave the signal for everybody to sit down, and I hastily walked to the door to get my computer bag. "So as you may or may not know…" I began as I set up my laptop on the coffee table, "A recent movie has come out which stars all of your characters, but have been acted out by chosen actors. Now this movie has raised much controversy, not just in my world but here too."

A fat Dwarf that was sitting on the floor raised his hand. "Yes Bombur?" I asked.

Bomber thought a while before asking, "Why has this movie raised controversy?"

"That's a very good question," I said like a kindergarten teacher, "The movie raises controversy in many ways. The biggest thing is that many people say that Peter Jackson, the director of the film, did a terrible job at sticking to the books." A few of the Dwarves growled in anger, and even Bilbo seemed vexed.

"That's when all of you come in." I continued, "Through this Laptop, I will show you the entire movie, and occasionally pause it to get your feedback. All you will have to do is compare and contrast this movie to the book, and when the movie is over, all I want for you to say is whether you liked it or not."

A few of the Dwarves glanced at each other with uncertainty. "That sounds boring," one of the Dwarves piped up.

"Well it's either this, or you continue to be molested by those fanfiction authors, you have your pick Kili!" Thorin snapped at his youngest nephew. Kili hesitated, before he looked up at me and said "Sorry, continue please," in a forced polite tone.

I reached into my computer bag and got out the DVD, along with a notebook and a pencil. "Now, let's begin," I said as I inserted the disk into the laptop. Everyone crowded around the electronic device as the screen began to light up.

~0~0~0~

I had hoped to have this all completed into one chapter, but I'm afraid that there were many things that happened that makes it impossible for me to do so.

You may be holding the accusation against me that I am some form of a Mary Sue since I'm a control freak that can hop in and out of Middle Earth on my own accord. I describe "Mary Sue-ing" as a form of self-insertion, but the difference is that the character that the author created based on his or herself has qualities that make them better than who the author is. Their character is someone who can save the day, and if they choose for their character to die honorably, their death is grieved for by an entire realm. I don't describe myself as a Mary Sue, because I'm very honest on who I am… But I guess that having the ability to travel to Middle Earth instantly makes me one anyway.

P.S. If you are an author that has done some Mary Sue writing, then don't be offended by anything I say.

P.P.S. If you want more information on Mary Sues, then simply look it up on Wikipedia. I won't place anymore discussion on them in my next chapters.

~Tatharwen