The Day She Left

by

Trycee

Timeline- Pre-Season 10

Disclaimer- I wrote this for fun not profit.

They had been leading up to it and Scully knew it. It was something she had never thought could ever happen. She loved him. There could never be any doubt about that. She'd sacrificed her entire life for him but now they were older, tired and living a lie. They'd been sleeping separately for months. Mulder, obsessed with decoding Nostradamus and the Mayan Prophecies began to sleep in his office and she found herself wide awake in their bed staring up at the ceiling. The first few times, Scully would get up and walk into his office, pulling him to bed with her. She couldn't sleep without him anymore. But after that, she'd stopped trying to wake him and march him back into bed. Eventually, she found herself able to sleep alone and it became easier to sleep apart, even normal for them.

They were like roommates, passing each other in the hallway. They were growing apart in away she could have never guessed. She began to stay away for longer periods at work and started to come home late. She'd shop for easy to fix meals so Mulder could eat in his office and she could eat her meals in her office at work. It took awhile for Scully to separate herself clinically from Mulder and recognized that he was in fact in a deep depression and so she dragged him out to Our Lady of Sorrow's Medical Offices to a colleague who with her asssistance diagnosised Mulder with Endogenous Depression, a major depressive mood disorder brought on by an adverse life event. In Mulder's case though, that Major Event had been 2012 and the end that had NOT happened. He could not understand why he'd been so wrong. Had he been lied too all along? Mulder began to question his life's work, his sacrifices and even himself as a person. Mulder was a Psychologist and he understood depressive states and the need for medication but for the most part, he'd refused to take his medicine and fell deeper into a depressive state. Scully found herself at a crossroads. She felt as if she were drowning. Did she want to come home to Mulder staring for long periods at his computer screen or searching through books and newspapers, while she sat alone unable to reach him. How could she bring him back?

Scully tried connecting to Mulder. She tried with romantic dates and trying to connect with him through her eyes and soul while making love to him but while his body was willing, she found for the first time ever that they were no longer connecting the way they always had been with mind, body and SOUL. Finally, Scully decided it was time to make a major decision, she'd had enough and made plans to leave him.

Maggie Scully was crushed at the thought of her daughter leaving Mulder and she prayed that it was only temporary. Scully assured her that it was. But Scully also decided that it would be much easier on herself to move closer to her job in D.C. in an apartment and that if she were to move there, she'd move her mother to D.C. to be close to her. She could take care of her and cater to her aging mother's needs as long as she was within reach. And so Scully set about moving her mother first. She found a downtown D.C. apartment, an exclusive 2 bedroom that cost her nearly four thousand monthly on Massachussetts Ave. with granite counter tops, laundry in the unit, a doorman and a patio that lead out to a massive greenspace in the interior, and a balcony overlooking the interior Green space. Scully was sure her mother would be out in the green area, planting flowers even if it were against the rules. And being a Physician, Scully could afford to set her mother up in a place where she could live freely yet someone would be there to watch out for her when she wasn't.

Scully found a similar apartment two miles away from her mother for herself. It was turned-key ready and fully furnished. She'd already put down the deposit and paid the fees and rent. She just needed to find the strength to move away from Mulder and that was the hardest part. Scully questioned herself at every turn. Could she leave him? Should she leave him now when she hadn't before. What would he do when she left? Should she try to work things out with him? Or should she break free before she was swallowed whole.

The moment came when she came home on a dreary hot Virginia day. She pulled up to their little house and she stepped out, looking around at the home she used to love and for the first time, she could not see herself there any more. She walked up the stairs and opened the door and was shocked at what she found. On her living room walls, Mulder had pinned up news articles outside of his office, dragging his obsession into their living space. "I can't do it," she said, to herself. "I can't."

Mulder opened his office door surprised. "Scully," he said, his eyes dead and joyless as he stared at her.

"I'm moving out," she said, noting the shock that registered in his features.

Scully continued. "This whole thing," she said, pointing to the photos and drawings of UFO's that now covered the living room wall. "It's been a stranglehold on my very existence, Mulder. I can't do it any more. I can't."

She watched as his shoulders slumped against the doorway but she noted he made no attempt at arguing with her. "We don't talk any more. We don't love together any more. We're like two passing ships in the night, Mulder, and I feel like that if I stay any longer, I'll come apart."

"Scully...", he finally said, but she noticed it was only a half attempt.

"I love you, Mulder," she said. "I always will but right now, this is too much for me."

"If you loved me so much, Scully, you'd stay," he said, lifting his head to look into her eyes.

"If you loved me, Mulder, you'd take your medicine and get out of this slump your in. But for now, I need you to let me go."

She watched as Mulder stood up straight and then turned his back, slamming his office door behind her.

Scully stood there for a long moment before heading towards their bedroom. She packed quickly, gathering the necessities into her luggage. She'd left men in her past before. But this was not the way their story was meant to be. They were supposed to be together forever. She found herself wiping away tears and she felt him walk up behind her. She turned and laid her head on his chest as his arms circled around her. "Don't go, Scully...", he whispered.

She lifted her head up and Mulder reached down and wiped her tears. He bent down and kissed her lips tenderly. She held him as he rocked her in his arms. She sighed and then pulled back. "Call me anytime Mulder. Anytime," she said, turning back to her task, zipping up her suitcase.

Mulder glanced over to the fishtank. His fish had died and had been floating in the water for sometime. He felt dead inside just like the fish floating in the water. He looked around at the room that had became more of hers than his. His heart was breaking as he watched her tearfully collecting her things. He followed behind her as she gathered her belongings. Scully turned to him. "Put this in my car, Mulder, for me, Okay?", she said, as fresh tears trailed down her cheeks.

Mulder opened his mouth to say something but instead grabbed up her luggage and disappeared from sight. Scully grabbed up two pictures, one of Emily and one of William and placed it in her pocket. She took one last look around. Photos of them as a couple were on the tables and dotted the walls mixed in with family members. This was still her house but she needed to escape for awhile. Scully turned and bound down the steps where Mulder was standing and waiting.

"Where will you be?", he said, his voice weak and cracking.

She stared at him for a long moment. "I moved my mom to D.C. and I got an apartment not far from my job. It's actually not far from the Hoover Building, actually. Ironic, isn't it?", she huffed.

"So you were planning this?", he said, surprised.

"Till the moment I pulled up, I still wasn't sure I could go through with it," Scully said, noticing the dullness in his once bright hazel eyes. "I need some space, Mulder."

"So it's over, is that what you're saying?", his tone growing harsh.

She sighed. "I didn't say that," she said, gripping his hand. "I just need some space."

"For how long?", he said, desperately.

"For as long as it takes," she sighed. "We'll either find our way back to each other or we'll move on."

Mulder dropped her hand. "You promised you'd never leave me, Scully and yet you are walking out...and I never thought you would."

"I need to save my own sanity, Mulder," Scully said. "I love you. That will never change. I'm only a phone call away, Mulder. If you need me, call me."

Mulder watched as she jumped into her car. She took one last look at Mulder and the house they'd built their lives together in and she placed the car in reverse, edging her way back onto the road. She looked at Mulder one last time and drove away.

Mulder waited until he could no longer see her car and then bound up the stairs. He headed straight for the kitchen and then began to rummage through the cabinents, searching for something to ease his pain. He found it in a green bottle. He took off the top and began to drink, letting the scorching liquid burn down his throat. He needed to drink until he was numb. Not once had it ever occured to him that she would leave. He'd let go of his fear of her walking out years before. Mulder slumped down to the kitchen floor and upturned the bottle, drinking it down, wishing that the misery he felt would disappear at the end of the bottle.

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