Once upon a time there was a girl and her name was Elsa and she said she wished she could find a really cute guy who was cute and tall and smart and handsome and had big muscles. She was walking one day in her castle when she looked out a window of a big tower and saw him standing there outside. He was tall and cute and his smartness was showing on his face and Elsa could already tell that he was very well endowed. Her cheeks turned red and she moaned.
She opened the window and then fell to the ground and landed with a loud bang. She cried because she broke her legs. The handsome guy saw her and walked to her.
"Hey girl are you okay?" he asked, super concerned. He had no facial hair which was good because facial hair was gross.
"I'm fine." Elsa said, looking up and smiling wildly. "I just broke both my legs."
"Oh snap girl." handsome dude said. "Let me get you a bandage. Oh and my name is Edward Cullen III."
He ran away. Elsa sighed. He was so beautiful and the way he was swinging his arms like a windmill while he ran made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She massaged her broken legs and created a snowman and played catch with him while singing a song called I Like Flowers. After a second or something Edward was back and he had a bandage.
"Here," he said, giving one to Elsa. Elsa put it on her leg.
"What about my other leg?" she asked.
"Gosh darn it, I forgot!" said Edward smacking his head with his palm.
"No don't hurt yourself baby your beautiful face will get bruised." said Elsa. She was very worried.
"Here you can use my shirt as a bandage." He took off his blue top, showing off his rippling 12-pack abs and melon-sized biceps. Elsa reached out and touch them.
"You like dis?" he asked. Elsa nodded slowly, her eyelids fluttering.
She stood up, her legs all better thanks to the healing power of her bandages. "Whisk me away my prince." she sighed, clambering up onto Edward's back.
"Yes my lady. Let's go start a family."
"Ok."
THE END