Sailor Moon S(poof)
by
White Wave Dancer
Author's Note: Like the title suggests, this is a spoof on my favorite season of Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon S! Please understand that I am a major Sailor Moon fanatic, and this is all done in good fun. In this part, I am using ALL the dub names, because there will be a little bit of dub-bashing, but overall, it's just poking fun at the season itself, and in part 2, I will be switching back to the original names. Also, I cannot take all the credit for this. My brother, Denis, came up with a lot of the jokes here. Thanks, bro! With that, enjoy, Sailor Moon S(poof). *applause* Thank you, thank you!
Sailor Moon S(poof)
Part I: Kaorinite
(Scene 1: Dr. Tomoe's lab)
The day begins like any other. Kaorinite watches Dr. Tomoe making diamohns. When he pours the bubbling concoction into his beaker, the cell inside begins to swell, until the beaker shatters
Dr. Tomoe: Shoot! Not another one! That happens every time I try to make another diamohn! Maybe I should make these things smaller.
Kaorinite: Or just buy bigger beakers.
Dr. Tomoe: I don't have any money! I spent it all on these glasses that glow in the dark!
Kaorinite: Wouldn't it be cheaper just to buy one big beaker instead of constantly buying new ones?
A long pause
Dr. Tomoe: Do you have our next target, Kaorinite?
Eugeal: You see, Kaorinite, that's why, in the future, we'll use my idea of mass production with an easy bake oven.
Kaorinite: (indicates the audience) Get out of here! They're not supposed to know you exist yet!
Eugeal: Sorry! (leaves)
Dr. Tomoe: Kaorinite, do you have our next target?
Kaorinite: (As the diamohn's attack music begins playing in the background) Yes, doctor. It's a man who--
Dr. Tomoe: Excuse me. (to the band) STOP THAT!! (music stops) Alright, Kaori, as you were saying?
Kaorinite: I have our next target. It's a (music begins again)
Dr. Tomoe: (to the band) SHUT UP!!
Band member #1: Sorry, dude. We thought you wanted music.
Dr. Tomoe: Not that music!
Band member #2: Um, that's all we can play.
Dr. Tomoe: What?!
Band member #2: That's our specialty, dude. Each band here specializes in one of the pieces used most often throughout the Sail--
Dr. Tomoe: Alright, alright! But you guys don't come in until the diamohn attacks, got it?
Band member #3: Sure, sure.
Band member #4: Ummm...is this the attack?
Dr. Tomoe: NO IT IS NOT!! We're trying to set up the episode if you don't mind!!
Band members: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! Don't go postal, Tomoe!
Dr. Tomoe: That's better. Now, Kaorinite, do you have the target?
Kaorinite: For the third time, yes!
Dr. Tomoe: Who is it?
Kaorinite: He is a pure-hearted man who (music starts again)
Dr. Tomoe: THAT'S IT! YOU GUYS ARE FIRED! CLEAN OUT YOUR DESKS!
Diamohn egg: Um, I've been hovering here for quite awhile. Isn't their something I should be doing?
Kaorinite: Oh, just go already! (Diamohn egg flies out the window, leaving a large hole in the glass) You know, the door was open!! Jeez, they always have to use the window.
*************************************************************************************************
(Scene 2: Tokyo)
(The Sailor Scouts are in the middle of an art museum, standing with a young man, who, unbeknownst to them, is the diamohn's next target.)
Serena: Remind me again why we have to meet this guy.
Amy: Shhh! He's the target for today. We always have to meet them at the beginning of the episode.
Serena: Oh, yeah.
Man: Okay, let me introduce myself. I'm Bob.
Mina: What kind of a name is that for a Sailor Moon character?!
Raye: Never mind, Mina. Bob is a perfectly sensible name for a man. Besides, at least they can spell his name correctly. I mean, come on! Rei, Raye! There's no difference in the pronounciation, and the first way looks better anyway!
Lita: Alright! Alright! Calm down, and let's get on with it. (to Bob) Okay, it's nice to meet you. I'm Lita, that's Amy, Serena, Mina, and Raye.
Amara: Don't forget us! I'm Amara Tenoh, and this is my cousin, Michelle Kaioh.
Bob: Okay, that was weird. It sounded like you said "cousin" but your mouth said "lover."
Amara: Nonsense. I distinctly said she was my clover.
Bob: Your what?
Amara: My co...lo...clo...I have to go. (Aside) God, I'm so confused!
Michelle: Never mind her. Like she said, I'm Michelle Kaioh, and I can do practically anything more beautifully than you. Would you like to see my art gallery?
Bob: Uh...sure.
Michelle: Right this way.
(Leads Bob and everyone else to her art gallery.)
(Shows them a picture of a storm on the ocean. So like her, ain't it?)
Michelle: This is one of my greatest paintings, which I call "Noah's Ark."
Bob: Where's the Ark?
Michelle: It sank.
Bob: What a happy thought.
Michelle: (dully) I'm a very happy girl.
Serena: Michelle, can you explain to me why the lable on your painting says it was painted by someone named "Kaioh, Michiru?"
Michelle: Oh...um...well...You see, my name is Michelle, but it's spelled like Michiru.
Mina: Either that, or you have a twin sister we don't know about.
Raye: Don't be silly, Mina. It's just like how the it says "Mamoru" on Darien's door.
Mina: Oh. Then can you explain why we're valley girls from Tokyo?
Raye: We're not. You're just trippin'. (Audience members moan and cover their ears) What did I say?
(Suddenly, out of nowhere, a really pissed off Diamohn egg appears)
Diahmon egg: Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I would like to get on with my part! It's not a big part, not at all! Fly out of the lab, infect some poor idiot's prized possession, turn into a she-demon, attack, and die! No, not a big part at all! Oh, but I intend to do it right! Now I believe by now I should be merging with Bob's doomed item, except that I can not choose what to infect without knowing WHY THE HELL I'M ATTACKING THIS GUY!! So, stop yaking, and KINDLY INFORM THE AUDIENCE WHY THIS GUY'S HEART IS SO DAMN PURE!
Lita: Jeez, Tou-chy!
Amy: (whispering) Cloverway cut her salary in half.
All: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
Serena: So, Bob, why is your heart pur--er, um, why do you like art.
Amara: Real subtle, Serena.
Bob: Well, you see, I've always wanted to be an art dealer because then I could trade really good pieces for money and retire to the Bahamas.
(Blank looks from the senshi. Then, finally:)
Amy: THAT'S the basis of your "pure heart?!"
Bob: But...
Michelle: No need to check this one. No way it's going to be the right crystal.
Bob: Wait! You don't understand!
Serena: It's gonna take me hours to figure out a speech to go with that!
Diamohn egg: Well, you're on your own, sucker! I've got my target, and I'm outta here! (Leaves, laughing maniacally)
Artemis and Luna: Does anyone realize that we have not been in this fic yet?
White Wave Dancer: No. Now go away.
Darien: Hey, I haven't been in here, either!
White Wave Dancer: GO AWAY!! (Luna, Artemis, Darien, and White Wave Dancer start fighting)
Amy: (Wisely ignoring them as the Sailor Scouts walk arm-in-arm into the sunset) Don't worry, Serena. You'll have plenty of time to come up with a speech during the commercial break.
Raye: And you'll probably manage to flunk a few tests and pig out on cookies on top of that.
Serena: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! You're mean, Raye. (Slaps White Wave Dancer for her momentary lapse of creativity)
Mina: Wait a minute! This episode isn't over, is it?
Lita: NO! IT'S JUST THE COMMERCIAL BREAK!!
*************************************************************************************************
Listen to Lita, people! This fic is NOT over! This isn't even the end of part 1! I just wanted to get this up, so you can check it out. And PLEEEEEEEEEEEZE review it! I might not put up the conclusion to this episode, and certainly not part 2 if I don't get any reviews! Oh, just a few little notes, I know Haruka would not outright say that Michiru is her lover, but for this fic, it works. Okay? Okay. Thanks, and stay tuned!
by
White Wave Dancer
Author's Note: Like the title suggests, this is a spoof on my favorite season of Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon S! Please understand that I am a major Sailor Moon fanatic, and this is all done in good fun. In this part, I am using ALL the dub names, because there will be a little bit of dub-bashing, but overall, it's just poking fun at the season itself, and in part 2, I will be switching back to the original names. Also, I cannot take all the credit for this. My brother, Denis, came up with a lot of the jokes here. Thanks, bro! With that, enjoy, Sailor Moon S(poof). *applause* Thank you, thank you!
Sailor Moon S(poof)
Part I: Kaorinite
(Scene 1: Dr. Tomoe's lab)
The day begins like any other. Kaorinite watches Dr. Tomoe making diamohns. When he pours the bubbling concoction into his beaker, the cell inside begins to swell, until the beaker shatters
Dr. Tomoe: Shoot! Not another one! That happens every time I try to make another diamohn! Maybe I should make these things smaller.
Kaorinite: Or just buy bigger beakers.
Dr. Tomoe: I don't have any money! I spent it all on these glasses that glow in the dark!
Kaorinite: Wouldn't it be cheaper just to buy one big beaker instead of constantly buying new ones?
A long pause
Dr. Tomoe: Do you have our next target, Kaorinite?
Eugeal: You see, Kaorinite, that's why, in the future, we'll use my idea of mass production with an easy bake oven.
Kaorinite: (indicates the audience) Get out of here! They're not supposed to know you exist yet!
Eugeal: Sorry! (leaves)
Dr. Tomoe: Kaorinite, do you have our next target?
Kaorinite: (As the diamohn's attack music begins playing in the background) Yes, doctor. It's a man who--
Dr. Tomoe: Excuse me. (to the band) STOP THAT!! (music stops) Alright, Kaori, as you were saying?
Kaorinite: I have our next target. It's a (music begins again)
Dr. Tomoe: (to the band) SHUT UP!!
Band member #1: Sorry, dude. We thought you wanted music.
Dr. Tomoe: Not that music!
Band member #2: Um, that's all we can play.
Dr. Tomoe: What?!
Band member #2: That's our specialty, dude. Each band here specializes in one of the pieces used most often throughout the Sail--
Dr. Tomoe: Alright, alright! But you guys don't come in until the diamohn attacks, got it?
Band member #3: Sure, sure.
Band member #4: Ummm...is this the attack?
Dr. Tomoe: NO IT IS NOT!! We're trying to set up the episode if you don't mind!!
Band members: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! Don't go postal, Tomoe!
Dr. Tomoe: That's better. Now, Kaorinite, do you have the target?
Kaorinite: For the third time, yes!
Dr. Tomoe: Who is it?
Kaorinite: He is a pure-hearted man who (music starts again)
Dr. Tomoe: THAT'S IT! YOU GUYS ARE FIRED! CLEAN OUT YOUR DESKS!
Diamohn egg: Um, I've been hovering here for quite awhile. Isn't their something I should be doing?
Kaorinite: Oh, just go already! (Diamohn egg flies out the window, leaving a large hole in the glass) You know, the door was open!! Jeez, they always have to use the window.
*************************************************************************************************
(Scene 2: Tokyo)
(The Sailor Scouts are in the middle of an art museum, standing with a young man, who, unbeknownst to them, is the diamohn's next target.)
Serena: Remind me again why we have to meet this guy.
Amy: Shhh! He's the target for today. We always have to meet them at the beginning of the episode.
Serena: Oh, yeah.
Man: Okay, let me introduce myself. I'm Bob.
Mina: What kind of a name is that for a Sailor Moon character?!
Raye: Never mind, Mina. Bob is a perfectly sensible name for a man. Besides, at least they can spell his name correctly. I mean, come on! Rei, Raye! There's no difference in the pronounciation, and the first way looks better anyway!
Lita: Alright! Alright! Calm down, and let's get on with it. (to Bob) Okay, it's nice to meet you. I'm Lita, that's Amy, Serena, Mina, and Raye.
Amara: Don't forget us! I'm Amara Tenoh, and this is my cousin, Michelle Kaioh.
Bob: Okay, that was weird. It sounded like you said "cousin" but your mouth said "lover."
Amara: Nonsense. I distinctly said she was my clover.
Bob: Your what?
Amara: My co...lo...clo...I have to go. (Aside) God, I'm so confused!
Michelle: Never mind her. Like she said, I'm Michelle Kaioh, and I can do practically anything more beautifully than you. Would you like to see my art gallery?
Bob: Uh...sure.
Michelle: Right this way.
(Leads Bob and everyone else to her art gallery.)
(Shows them a picture of a storm on the ocean. So like her, ain't it?)
Michelle: This is one of my greatest paintings, which I call "Noah's Ark."
Bob: Where's the Ark?
Michelle: It sank.
Bob: What a happy thought.
Michelle: (dully) I'm a very happy girl.
Serena: Michelle, can you explain to me why the lable on your painting says it was painted by someone named "Kaioh, Michiru?"
Michelle: Oh...um...well...You see, my name is Michelle, but it's spelled like Michiru.
Mina: Either that, or you have a twin sister we don't know about.
Raye: Don't be silly, Mina. It's just like how the it says "Mamoru" on Darien's door.
Mina: Oh. Then can you explain why we're valley girls from Tokyo?
Raye: We're not. You're just trippin'. (Audience members moan and cover their ears) What did I say?
(Suddenly, out of nowhere, a really pissed off Diamohn egg appears)
Diahmon egg: Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I would like to get on with my part! It's not a big part, not at all! Fly out of the lab, infect some poor idiot's prized possession, turn into a she-demon, attack, and die! No, not a big part at all! Oh, but I intend to do it right! Now I believe by now I should be merging with Bob's doomed item, except that I can not choose what to infect without knowing WHY THE HELL I'M ATTACKING THIS GUY!! So, stop yaking, and KINDLY INFORM THE AUDIENCE WHY THIS GUY'S HEART IS SO DAMN PURE!
Lita: Jeez, Tou-chy!
Amy: (whispering) Cloverway cut her salary in half.
All: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
Serena: So, Bob, why is your heart pur--er, um, why do you like art.
Amara: Real subtle, Serena.
Bob: Well, you see, I've always wanted to be an art dealer because then I could trade really good pieces for money and retire to the Bahamas.
(Blank looks from the senshi. Then, finally:)
Amy: THAT'S the basis of your "pure heart?!"
Bob: But...
Michelle: No need to check this one. No way it's going to be the right crystal.
Bob: Wait! You don't understand!
Serena: It's gonna take me hours to figure out a speech to go with that!
Diamohn egg: Well, you're on your own, sucker! I've got my target, and I'm outta here! (Leaves, laughing maniacally)
Artemis and Luna: Does anyone realize that we have not been in this fic yet?
White Wave Dancer: No. Now go away.
Darien: Hey, I haven't been in here, either!
White Wave Dancer: GO AWAY!! (Luna, Artemis, Darien, and White Wave Dancer start fighting)
Amy: (Wisely ignoring them as the Sailor Scouts walk arm-in-arm into the sunset) Don't worry, Serena. You'll have plenty of time to come up with a speech during the commercial break.
Raye: And you'll probably manage to flunk a few tests and pig out on cookies on top of that.
Serena: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! You're mean, Raye. (Slaps White Wave Dancer for her momentary lapse of creativity)
Mina: Wait a minute! This episode isn't over, is it?
Lita: NO! IT'S JUST THE COMMERCIAL BREAK!!
*************************************************************************************************
Listen to Lita, people! This fic is NOT over! This isn't even the end of part 1! I just wanted to get this up, so you can check it out. And PLEEEEEEEEEEEZE review it! I might not put up the conclusion to this episode, and certainly not part 2 if I don't get any reviews! Oh, just a few little notes, I know Haruka would not outright say that Michiru is her lover, but for this fic, it works. Okay? Okay. Thanks, and stay tuned!