Disclaimer: Yes, I understand that I don't own ANY of'em. Doesn't stop me from wishing I did, though! Btw, OC's in later chapters are all mine.
AN: First of all, I owe a major apology to all of you who so kindly reviewed my crappy so-called sequel to 'Watching'. I realised that the whole story was a bad continuation to 'Watching' and took it out. I've been working on this story for a couple of months and I'm much happier with this. So thanks, all you wonderful people who reviewed the last one. I think you'll like this one much more too!
Review if:
a) you like it. It'll make me happy, and want to write more.
b) You don't like it. I'm all for constructive criticism. But no flames, please!
So, I'll stop blabbing and let you get on with reading.
Watching. Living. Being: Chapter 1.
She missed them. They were the only ones who had understood her. But they had left her alone. Kurt to get away from watching Kitty be happy with someone else, and Logan to God knows where. Rogue knew she shouldn't be surprised. She knew that she should have expected it. After all, everybody she got close to left, or fell into a coma, or betrayed her. Irene, her mother Mystique, Cody. Why should any of the X-Men be different?
But even as she told herself this, she knew it was not true. She knew that Kurt and Logan genuinely cared for her. Kurt, because he told her that all the time, his eyes reflecting his every thought and emotion. And Logan, gruff Logan, because he didn't have to say anything; calling her 'Stripes' was enough.
Though she told herself not to cry, she could feel the tears well in her eyes. She sniffed, and rubbed at her eyes furiously. She would not cry. When had she become this pathetic, snivelling human being? She was the Rogue, for Pete's sakes! She was a loner by choice, and she liked it that way.
So who cared that her brother was far away? Who cared if Logan was off doing God knows what? And who the bloody hell cared if Gambit was sleeping with every skirt he came across? She didn't care! She was fine on her own. She needed nobody and no one, not Kurt, not Logan and definitely not Remy. Especially not a skirt-chasing, cigarette-smoking, lying Cajun thief, who wouldn't know a woman with a brain if she walked up to him and punched him on the nose.
On an impulse, she walked to her mirror and removed the Queen of Hearts card that he had given her years ago. It was crumpled and torn, but it was her most treasured possession. She could not bring herself to throw it away, but she did put it away deep in her dresser drawer.
She stood there for a long while, staring at the closed drawer. Then, with a sigh, she pulled it open and took out the card. Okay, so ah love the skirt-chasing, cigarette-smoking, lying Cajun thief, she thought. Though a fat lot of good it does meh. Bloody Swamp Rat.
She lay back on her bed, defeated. She was so tired. Tired of being depressed. Tired of not being able to touch. Tired of wanting and never having. Tired of being Rogue. Ah need a change, she told herself silently. If Kurt and Logan can just up and leave, why can't ah? Maybe ah can go to Canada. Or to Los Angeles.
She sat up on her bed, suddenly excited. Los Angeles, the city of angels. A place where she could lose herself. It was just what she needed. A change, a new place, a fresh start. She was twenty five years old, and she had never lived on her own. Maybe it was time for her to try.
Professor, Rogue sent the message telepathically. Ah need to talk to ya.