Disclaimer;; I do not own either Remus Lupin or Sirius Black. I just make them do inappropriate things.
Author's Note;; I do plan on revisiting this story with a second or maybe third chapter. We'll see how it goes.
Blood soaked the floor and nothing could be felt but pain.
"Sirius!"
Horrible, mind numbing pain. He could hear shouting: indescribable noise that attacked his mind as madly as the physical pain.
"Get off of him!"
There were harsher, louder noises closer to him and the pain increased for a moment before a heavy weight disappeared. He was floating now. How strange. He was floating and the earth dropped away from him; he could no longer feel it. The pain faded and he sighed, surprised that that no longer hurt. Goodbye everyone. Goodbye Remus.
"Sirius!"
A bone jarring gasp tore its way through Sirius' lips as he woke with a start, chest heaving. He took a sharp breath, dropping his head into his hands, fighting to control himself. His heart pounded wildly in his chest and his breath still came too fast.
It was just a dream…nothing but a dream.
The thought did not calm him though and he pressed his face harder into his hands, attempting to breathe normally. His mind was racing with the memory, the same memory that had haunted his dreams for the last three years and had grown worse over the last year. Death, misery and depression always made the memory grow worse and the mixture of all three made it worse than ever. He made some sort of noise and clambered out of bed, sheets tangled around his feet and trailing off the mattress onto the floor. Sirius ignored them though and pulled his bedroom door open, the slightly cooler hall air feeling nice upon his face. Grimmauld Place was strangely clean and smelled of harsh chemicals and too many people. He wondered for a moment why he still lived here and why he didn't just give up the house and move to a flat. He hadn't come up with a reason by the time he reached the kitchen.
"Hello, Sirius."
He jumped at the sound, not expecting to find Remus sitting at the kitchen table, a slice of one of Molly's pies and a large mug of tea in front of him. Sirius nodded at the lycanthrope though and turned his back to make his own cup of tea. Neither said a word as Sirius did so and came to sit in the chair next to Remus, stirring his cup idly.
"Bad dream?" Remus asked, staring at his tea.
"How'd you know?" Sirius took a sip of his tea and was suddenly aware of his lack of a shirt.
"Your smell, mostly," Remus said, glancing at the dark haired man, "I have them too though and look the same way after it every time."
"I didn't realize it was so difficult," Sirius took Remus' fork and stole a one of the sliced apples, breaking the crust into pieces to find it, "Being a werewolf and all."
Remus shrugged, watching Sirius obliterate his pie, "You'll gain better control the longer you are one. I don't have the dreams as frequently now as I did when I was a child. I expect you'll be able to do this faster than me though. You are an Animagi and one canine already resides in you. I suppose the wolf is calmed by this a bit." Sirius shrugged, unable to speak.
His mind flicked back to the battle at the Minstry. Bellatrix had nearly killed him and Sirius had just managed to avoid falling into the veil. He shuddered, remembering how Fenrir Greyback appeared and brutally attacked him, lashing out at the commands of Bellatrix. Sirius' memory dimmed here; he supposed it was due to the pain, the trauma….his mind blocking it for whatever reason. Others at the Ministry had told him that Remus had managed to battle and single-handedly kill Greyback but it wasn't before the man had been able to infect Sirius. Sirius Black was like Remus Lupin. Both were now werewolves.
Sirius sighed, "It's just…having to learn to control the canine all over again but this Padfoot is just a mean little bastard." He paused, staring at his tea before laughing.
"Hmmm?" Remus cocked an eyebrow, peering over his mug of tea.
"It's just rather…amusing to refer to myself as three different parts. I mean, I'm still Sirius Black, aren't I?" his voice faltered slightly and he glanced at Remus. The weathered man sighed and grasped Sirius' arm.
"Yes, Sirius, you are still the snarky little bastard that got me into more trouble than it was worth and who scored with more fabulous women than you knew what to do with," Remus grinned, "Having this condition does not change that." Sirius gave a half-hearted smile and stood, dumping his tea into the sink, figuring that he might as well attempt to sleep for another hour or two. Remus' words calmed him and he didn't feel panicky. He didn't have the urge to run deep into the woods and let starvation take him rather than live out a life among wizards. Sirius turned around, scratching his chest and sighed.
"I don't know how I would have dealt with this if you weren't here, Moony," he said, shuffling to the door. Remus stood abruptly and followed, abandoning his cup to the table.
"Sleep with me, Sirius."
Sirius paused in his tread, hand on the doorway, "What?"
"Er…I didn't mean it quite like that," Remus ran a hand through his hair, "Wolves are pack animals and I was just thinking that you might sleep better with another wolf nearby. It might keep the dreams at bay."
"Oh," Sirius' hand fell to his side and he bit the inside of his lip, curious as to why he felt vaguely disappointed that that was all Remus had meant, "Well, we could at least try it?" Remus shrugged, Sirius nodded and that was that. Sirius slipped into his bedroom a moment before Remus did, snagging the blankets off of the floor and throwing them back onto the bed.
"Do you always leave your room a mess?" Remus asked, grinning and falling onto the bed.
"Yes," Sirius rolled his eyes and slid onto the mattress in a strangely cat-like fashion, stealing the quilt for his own and curling up in it, "Since I'm the only one in here, I doubted it would really matter as to what it looked like. Besides, it's dark in here. You're not supposed to know what it looks like."
"I feel as if you're now plotting to kill me in my sleep," Remus growled, snatching the sheets for his self and stretching languidly. Sirius rolled on top of him, grabbing Remus' hands at the same time.
"Gasp! How did you figure out my clever plan?" he grinned wolfishly before falling back to his side of the bed and hiding under the quilt.
Remus said nothing for a moment before whispering, "I hate you some nights." Sirius chuckled and closed his eyes. The two had always been incredibly close, their words always dancing on that fine line between teasing and flirting. Neither were openly gay, both having been with a woman or two in the last few years, but their words and actions always made others question just how close Remus and Sirius were. Sirius had always held a fondness for the werewolf and, if only recently, had realized just how much he needed the man around.
"Sirius."
He jerked awake, a hand on his shoulder and Remus' face awful close to his.
"Whaaaat?" He moaned rubbing a hand over his face. He was sprawled over half of the bed, the quilt missing again. Remus was curled up under sheets and quilt, his face resembling a rabbit caught in the jaws of the wolf rather than the wolf.
"Moony?" Sirius propped his self up on his elbow, "Moons, what's the matter?"
"Dream," Remus said, his eyes slightly hollow and gazing at Sirius' bare chest. His hand had fallen to the bed and he looked as if he wanted to bolt.
"Come here," Sirius said and Remus looked at him, "Come here." Remus still didn't move and Sirius sighed and rearranged his body and Remus' so they were both curled under the quilt, Sirius spooned slightly around Remus.
"Better?" Sirius asked, already falling asleep again. He felt Remus nod against his chest. "Good."
Dreams came to him once more but this time they smelled of pack and home rather than fear and blood. Here was the warm sun, the dry earth and the crisp wind. The smell of wolf was safe, secure and centering. The dream was a rush of smells and quick images more than anything, nothing truly imprinting on Sirius and his wolf. But it was safe, comforting and free of the scent of fear and blood. He asked for nothing more.
Sirius woke to lips on his skin, light caresses of fingers on his chest and the soft murmurs of a man whispering to the hardly lit bedroom. He lay quiet, listening to Remus whisper to himself, his eyes still closed as he drank in the sensations of a hand tracing idle patterns across his bare skin. One of his arms was around the other werewolf's shoulder, holding him close to his side and he could feel the slightly smaller man's warmth pressed tightly against his body. He smelled of pack, of wolf and earth and Sirius resisted the urge to bury his face in the other man's skin.
"Sirius?"
Remus' voice curled around him and Sirius' fingers dug slightly into the other's man shoulder.
"I woke you, didn't I?"
He could hear a bit of horror mix with a drop of shame and felt Remus tense as if he was going to bolt from the crook of Sirius' arm. Sirius merely moved to his side, pulling Remus closer. The scent of pack was delicious and so was the underlying scent of Remus himself.
"It doesn't matter, Remus," he whispered, shifting until his face was buried in Remus' hair, lips just touching the crest of the man's ear, "It doesn't matter one bit." Sirius sighed, a little unsure, a little confused as to whether he didn't mind because it was pack-like, Remus' touch, or if he didn't mind because it felt good and right and he would simply love to kiss him right now.
"Sirius?"
"Remus?"
The slightly smaller man shifted so that more of his body was pressed flushed against Sirius', his head leaning on Sirius' chest and one of his legs draped around one of the other man's, "You smell like the forest and wolves." Remus suddenly pressed his tongue to Sirius' bare flesh, the supple muscle sliding over an exposed nipple, making Sirius shiver. "You taste like earth and fur." Remus licked the man again, moving so that his tongue slid further up, outlining his collar bone, teeth nipping softly at the tender flesh that covered a fluttering pulse.
"Moony," Sirius whispered, his eyes closed and his body still, lost to the soft ministrations of Remus drinking in his taste, his smell. Remus' fingers dug slightly into his skin, leaving behind half-moon marks as he moved his lips from the still man's pulse point to his warm neck, a day's growth of stubble tickling his mouth. Encouraged by Sirius not pushing him away, Remus slid out from under the blankets and on top of the other man, sliding one leg completely over the man so that his clothed chest pressed solidly against the other's bare. He hovered over Sirius, hands pressing into the mattress by the dark haired man's shoulders, his own brown hair falling into his face.
"I'm sorry, Padfoot," he whispered, leaning down to kiss the man lightly, "I'm sorry but Moony…he wants you, he wants you so bad." Remus pressed his lips to Sirius again, softly, gently and pulled away, earth brown eyes searching steel grey.
Sirius reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind Remus' ear, "Don't be sorry and just kiss me again." He raised himself enough to kiss Remus, his lips opening slightly. Remus growled softly and the kiss grew more passionate. Teeth nipped at flesh, tongues danced slowly, tauntingly around another, lips were caught and sucked on and growls and moans emerged from both men as they tasted one another. The air grew hot, thick with the scent of burning pine and the musty smell of wolf pelts. Their kisses grew urgent, harder, more masochistic and sadistic. Sirius pulled away suddenly, the metallic taste of blood welling in his mouth.
"I think you bit me," he panted, touching his lip gingerly. A wound was there, the slick liquid dark against his fingers when he pulled it away. He looked at Remus and realized that man's eyes had slid to wolf gold. "Remus…Remus." The werewolf closed his eyes for a long moment before looking at Sirius again, that soft warm brown color having returned.
"I…I'm sorry," Remus whispered, leaning down and licking at the wound. Sirius shivered and sighed, wincing slightly as Remus kissed him again.
"Remus," he cupped a hand around the werewolf's face, "I'm not sure if we've stilled our wolves or only harassed them more." Remus pulled away, sitting up, hands spread on Sirius' chest. He bit his lip, strands of hair falling into his eyes. He looked like a lost child.
"You're right," he stilled, his eyes slipping away to that hollowed look again, his face wearing with age. He crawled off of Sirius and crossed his legs.
"Moony," Sirius murmured, sitting up and reaching for Remus' hand, "Moony, I'm okay with this. And neither my wolf nor Padfoot seems to mind." He kissed Remus' forefinger gently, licking at the appendage lightly. "Your presence stills my dreams, calms my beast and keeps me sane. If you hadn't suggested sleeping near each other tonight, I'm sure I would have had that…nightmare again. I always do." He looked at Remus, reaching out to touch the man's jaw lightly. Remus looked at him.
"Sirius, I don't think you can even begin to imagine…" his voice trailed away and his gaze fell to where his fingers were entwined with Sirius', "I hadn't meant for…I hadn't meant to get carried away. I just needed…comfort for one night. Just one night with the dreams, the memories and something told me you could give it to me." Remus flexed his fingers, squeezing Sirius' hand lightly. "I don't know if it's Moony who wants you or me or if I don't actually want you but the comfort and warmth that your wolf gives me. I don't know, Sirius, I just don't know but its right and this…" He kissed the back of Sirius' hand. "This is perfection."
"Good," Sirius whispered, kissing Remus with one of those oh-dear-lord-my-knees-are-melting-what-an-amazing-kiss sort of kisses that simply made Remus moan and lean towards him. Sirius pulled away, a thought having jumped into his head and killing his focus on Remus' lips.
"Why did you save me that night? I mean, why bother attempting to take on Fenrir by yourself for your friend?" Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, quite aware that this was a rather inappropriate time to bring up such a thing.
"Because I couldn't just let you die," Remus said matter-of-factly, "It was either I try to save you and accomplish the feat or we would both die. There was no other choice. I…I couldn't see myself living without you." He looked down at his feet, giving the appearance of a small boy who had done something wrong. "I just couldn't."
"I think I would've done the same, Remus," Sirius said, kissing Remus' cheek. The werewolf turned to him and Sirius was suddenly hit with the realization that this man might just love him and that he, Sirius, might just be afflicted with the same. It felt fast, rushed, brilliant, wonderful, lovely, made him want to jump over the moon and curl up under a blanket with Remus all at the same time and yet, it was easy. It was right.
"This is so strange," Sirius said, moving closer to Remus.
Remus looked at him, an eyebrow cocked, "What are you talking about?"
"Remus, we just went from best mates, to pack mates to something deeper in less than a full night," Sirius said, "It's just a little strange, don't you think?" Remus shrugged, leaning against Sirius. He felt cold to the touch and the two wormed their way back under the blankets, Remus curled tightly against Sirius. Their legs tangled together, arms wrapped around a torso or shoulders and peace pulled them back into sleep more quickly than either ever thought possible.