Eyes meet at the reaping

"Peeta Mellark." The name echoes in my ears, but it does not seem my own. My feet, almost of their own accord, guide me towards the stage. I don't have to worry about the crowd. They part in front of me, and as I stare blindly around, I can see that all bear the same expression on their faces. Pity. Sorrow. Some aren't tactful enough to cover up their relief, while others manage to mutter short condolences. I know that I must look in shock, a deer in the headlights, but the reason isn't my name being drawn. It isn't the thought of the ideal to come, of the horrible deeds I will soon see committed, and most likely commit. No, the reason I look so shocked is the girl looking down on me from the stage. The one girl in the world I wish wasn't standing there. Katniss Everdeen.

I still remember the first day I saw her. The first time my blue eyes met her piercing grey ones. Of course, back then her eyes didn't have the edge they do now. They didn't carry the sorrow of one bearing responsibility many years older than herself. They were the happy eyes of a child, walking with her Dad on the first day of school.

It was my father who pointed her out first. We had reached the school gate, and I had suddenly stopped. I tugged at my father's hand, trying desperately to pull him away from this place, back to the bakery where I felt safe. But he had crouched down onto his haunches and looked me in the eye, trying to find something to say, something that would cheer me up. But he was never very good with words, so he tried a different tack. Distraction.

"Peeta" He said, pointing to a man and girl already at the school gate. "Do you see that girl?" I nodded, still sulking. "Well, her mother was the first women I ever loved." This got my attention. I looked up at him. "She had the most beautiful blonde hair. But what made me notice her was that once, she found a bird who was dying. She took it home, and tried to nurse it back to health. She cared so much Peeta. And that was why I loved her."

I looked into his eyes, his eyes which mirrored mine almost exactly. "Why did you stop loving her?" He sighed, and I saw sorrow in his face. "I didn't. She didn't love me, and she never did. Her heart belonged to another man. That man in fact." Once again he pointed at the man with the girl. "Why would she want him? You're a baker, and he's only a miner?" I had asked. He smiled at me. "Because when he sung, even the birds stopped to listen." He let go off my hand, and gave me a small wave. He had walked me right up to the gate.

In the first lesson, in an attempt to break our nerves, the teacher thought we should sing. So she asked if anyone knew the valley song. One hand went up, quick as a flash. The teacher brought up the girl, the girl with the grey eyes, made her stand on a chair and asked her to sing. When she did, everyone fell silent. Even the always chirping birds stopped. Even the birds stopped to listen.

"Up you come then" The shrill capitol accent of Effie Trinket brought me ripping out of my memories. She held out her hand, but I don't take it. I climb onto the stage, and stand there next to Effie, next to Katniss. Katniss. Even thinking her name gives me a thrill.

"Let's have a big round of applause for our male tribute in the 74th hunger games!" Effie trilled. When she had done this with Katniss, nobody had applauded. Instead they had raised a three fingered salute, a symbol of admiration. No one saluted me. But they didn't applaud either. For that I was grateful. They didn't applaud my death sentence.

The mayor stepped up and gave a speech. I didn't listen, instead trying not to look at Katniss, not to give away my feelings. It wouldn't have mattered. She was staring ahead, in a whole other place. We are told to shake hands. With a pang I realise this is the first time we've touched. As we grasp hands, I can feel her trembling, and instinctively I give her hand a squeeze. She looks at me, and our eyes meet.

My blue ones and her grey. And I know then that I couldn't harm this girl, let alone kill her. I know then that I have to protect her. Whatever the costs.