This was the first time Cloud had actually needed to use the key Sephiroth had given him to his quarters, and it worried him a bit. But he let himself in and set the massage oil up to warm for later on, then just sat and waited for his lover to return for the meeting they'd planned. Sephiroth never asked what Cloud had in mind for their meetings, and he found he liked that, especially how much leeway it gave him to change his mind. Tonight he was planning on a word association game, with appropriate penalties and rewards for the words he approved or disapproved of, finishing off with a massage, from Sephiroth if he'd done badly, for him if he did well. He wasn't sure if they'd have sex after that, or how they'd do it if he decided that he wanted sex tonight and he'd make that decision some time during the game.
But when Sephiroth arrived he knew his plans had changed totally. His lover actually stumbled as he turned to close the door, shocking Cloud because he'd never even heard of Sephiroth being less than graceful except after fighting for three or more days straight, or wounded badly enough to kill most men. But from the stress and pain written in every line of Sephiroth's body Cloud could tell that his lover had reason to stumble, and he moved forward to embrace him, offering support if Sephiroth needed it. Sephiroth wasn't in any condition to play the game Cloud had thought of, but he was pretty sure that a shower and a massage would help him relax.
He kissed Sephiroth almost chastely as he drew him into the room and began undressing him, freezing when he felt Sephiroth shiver underneath his hands.
"Sephiroth?"
"I'm sorry Cloud, but...I really don't think I'm up to sex at the moment. I don't think I'll be able to handle that for the next few days."
"Then it's a good thing I'm not planning on sex. But I've already set things up to give you a massage later tonight, and I thought you could use a shower right now." And he wasn't sure it would be safe for his lover to shower alone considering his recent stumble.
"Ah, thank you." Sephiroth relaxed and Cloud began undressing him again, relieved that his lover seemed to accept his actions without a fight. "It will be...nice to get the lab smell off me." Cloud couldn't smell anything, and he wondered for a moment if that was because Sephiroth was imagining 'the lab smell', or because of how much more sensitive his lover's senses were than his own senses. "But...I normally just let myself collapse once I get to a bed after he finishes with me." Cloud wasn't sure just who Sephiroth was talking about, but from the way he was shuddering, almost convulsively, he had to be pretty bad news. "I...you don't have to do this, take care of me like this. I know you were expecting-"
"Don't even think about finishing that sentence. I want to take care of you. I like being able to take care of you, to make you feel better." Cloud stroked Sephiroth's back, trying to calm him down a bit, but it wasn't working, despite the way Sephiroth was letting himself cling to Cloud. He kept quiet about that, letting Sephiroth cling until he'd got them to a chair. "I need to get undressed myself if I'm going to help you in the shower..."
"So you need me to let go of you for a bit." Sephiroth laughed and let Cloud help him down into the chair, releasing Cloud to strip as quickly as he could. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't cling like this, it's just..."
"It's alright. I...kind of like it when you're a little clingy." It made Cloud feel needed, and usually when Sephiroth was clingy it was after they'd played the dominance games that Sephiroth seemed to need to relax completely. He held out a hand to Sephiroth once he was naked himself, and smiled in relief that his lover wasn't shaking as he helped him up, wrapping an arm around his waist as he led him to the shower. Should he say anything while he washed Sephiroth, or would it be better to just keep quiet? Sephiroth jumped just a little as Cloud turned the shower on, but...he couldn't think what would be the right thing to say, so he compromised, humming the tune to the current most popular song in his platoon.
It seemed to work, because Sephiroth relaxed enough to step into the shower even without Cloud guiding him in. He had his back to Cloud, hands braced against the wall, and Cloud hesitated, before deciding to work from Sephiroth's feet upwards as he washed him clean. Sephiroth started a bit when Cloud touched his left ankle, but he let Cloud lift his foot to wash it without complaint, and he cooperated as Cloud washed up to about halfway down his thighs before standing and working up to his waist.
He gave a soft moan as Cloud washed his ass and between his legs, but he didn't harden, and Cloud knew that it wasn't anything more than a reflex response to that particular touch. He'd seen signs of damage as he undressed Sephiroth, signs that were slowly healing even now, but he didn't think any of the damage was remotely sexual in nature, and Sephiroth's response encouraged that belief.
"Sephiroth, it will be easier to work from here if you'll sit down." Sephiroth turned around slowly, before he nodded and let Cloud help him sit down, making sure his hair wasn't caught underneath his legs. Cloud hesitated, then when Sephiroth tensed just a bit he decided to start with washing the front of Sephiroth's body, moving on to take care of his back once he'd relaxed some more. And after that Cloud couldn't resist the temptation to wash Sephiroth's hair, slowly, using the shampoo and rinsing it without trying to do anything about how badly tangled it was, then taking the opportunity to work out some of the tangles as he worked the conditioner into Sephiroth's hair.
"Should I...return the favour?" If he was sounding that reluctant about it...
"No need. I told you, I want to take care of you. I like it." Cloud kissed Sephiroth's forehead before he turned the shower off and climbed out of it, drying Sephiroth first and wrapping his hair in a towel before drying the water from his own skin while Sephiroth pulled on a robe. "Come on. I'll dry your hair for you." He wondered if he should offer to support Sephiroth again, but it obviously wasn't necessary since Sephiroth walked off, towards the bedroom, and Cloud just followed him. It was a surprise when Sephiroth stopped dead still just inside his bedroom, but Cloud didn't bump into him, wasn't following Sephiroth closely enough for that, and looking around Sephiroth's body he could see the coffee scented candles he'd set out for later, as well as the massage oil heating in a bowl of warm water.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, not really, it's just...if Zack had done all of this preparation I'd have been...irritated I suppose. That he'd made himself so at home here, without asking me, but with you...this feels, reassuring, makes me feel cared for, and I don't feel guilty about the work you've done going to waste the way I would with Zack."
"It doesn't have to go to waste. I mean you like the way those candles smell, don't you?" The scent wasn't really strong enough for Cloud's tastes, but he could smell it, and with Sephiroth's senses his preferences came first.
"Yes, and it works well with the cinnamon of the oil. I...light them, please."
"As long as you go and sit down on the bed to wait for me." Cloud waited until Sephiroth started moving before he picked up the box of matches and began lighting all fifteen of the candles. He needed the ceiling light to dry Sephiroth's hair, but perhaps when he moved on to giving his lover a massage they'd be able to manage with just the candles. But he, they, could decide that later. When he turned to the bed he was a bit startled to realise that Sephiroth had the hairdryer and a wide-toothed comb out ready for him, but Cloud didn't mind that, he was glad, because it meant Sephiroth was coping well enough to start thinking again, not just reacting the way he had been for most of the evening.
"Thanks. Just relax, and I'll sort out your hair for you." Cloud kissed Sephiroth on the forehead as he took the comb and hairdryer from him, then moved around to sit behind him, enjoying the trust Sephiroth was showing, even when he was so clearly under stress. He took his time drying Sephiroth's hair, doing it properly, or at least as properly as he could manage, even if he didn't know how to do the fancy sort of drying that left women's hair looking so smooth.
Cloud was beginning to feel a little guilty for how much he was enjoying the process of drying Sephiroth's hair, and detangling it, when Sephiroth took some of the hair near his face between his fingers and pulled it forward, presumably pressing it to his nose.
"I can't smell him on my hair anymore. Thank you Cloud. I...maybe I won't dream of him tonight."
"Do you...no. I'm sorry, forget it." He couldn't ask Sephiroth if he normally dreamed of this mysterious man after he'd spent time in the labs, in Hojo's labs, but Cloud refused to consider the possibility, no the probability that this man his lover was so scared of was the same man who'd raised him. His sudden suspicion was probably accurate, but he didn't want to think about it, and unless Sephiroth confirmed it freely there was nothing he could do without hurting him - and there probably wouldn't be anything he could do even if Sephiroth did tell him freely.
"Yes, I normally do dream of him, of what he could do to me after...visiting the labs." Sephiroth shuddered at that and Cloud paused to wrap his arms around Sephiroth from behind, hoping he was doing the right thing. It seemed to work, because Sephiroth relaxed at once, putting one hand on top of Cloud's interlaced hands. "Thank you for this. You are helping me."
"Good." Cloud pressed a kiss to the nape of Sephiroth's neck and waited for Sephiroth to let his hand fall away from Cloud's before he went back to drying Sephiroth's hair. Once he was finished he braided Sephiroth's hair, tying it off carefully with one of the hair bands wrapped around the handle of the comb and stood to put the hairdryer away, reluctant as he felt to lose contact with Sephiroth. Then Sephiroth grabbed hold of his sleeve before he could move away from him, keeping him in place unless he wanted to tear his shirt. "What is it?"
"Could you turn the light off before you give me that massage? Please?"
"Yes...I was going to suggest it anyway. Could you take your robe off and lie down while I'm doing that?"
"Face down." There was something oddly defiant about the way Sephiroth said that, so Cloud just smiled and nodded his agreement until Sephiroth let him go. He put the hairdryer and comb away quickly and glanced over at Sephiroth before he went to turn off the light, relieved to see that he'd coiled his braid on the pillow beside his head where it wouldn't get messy from the oil. Once he'd seen that he turned the light off and made his way carefully back to the bed, pleased that the candles gave as much light as he'd expected they would without the ceiling light to interfere. It wouldn't be enough light for reading or anything like that, or at least not for Cloud to read, but he did massage by feel rather than by sight, and he could move well enough by candlelight.
As soon as he touched Sephiroth's back Cloud could tell that turning the lights off had been a very good idea; he'd been able to feel the tension in his lover's body every time he touched him this evening, but now that tension had fallen, dramatically. He didn't get why, but it didn't matter, what mattered was getting rid of the rest of that tension. He reached for the massage oil, pouring enough of the warm oil to get started into his hands, and moved to straddle Sephiroth's back to start work. The first area was the neck and shoulders, easing the most obvious of the knots out of Sephiroth's muscles, enjoying the feel of his tension melting away.
He wasn't an expert at this, and when he hit a knot that was beyond his abilities Cloud did some work on it, enough to prove to himself that it wouldn't yield to him, and then moved on past it, to another area where there was tension. The sounds Sephiroth made as he worked were almost sexual, certainly sensual, and Cloud enjoyed them almost as much as he enjoyed the sounds Sephiroth gave voice to when he made love to him. After he'd reached Sephiroth's ass he moved back up, checking on the knots he hadn't managed to work out of Sephiroth's body before, relieved to find that they yielded to his efforts now that he'd removed a lot of the tension surrounding them. Then he finished with a quick rub down of Sephiroth's muscles before pulling back and climbing off the bed.
Sephiroth rolled over at once, reaching out for him, and even in the dark Cloud could see that his pupils were dilated enough to almost look like normal human pupils. He didn't try to avoid the hand Sephiroth wrapped around his wrist, although he suspected that if he had tried Sephiroth would have allowed it.
"Please, stay with me tonight?" Cloud was surprised by the request, and more so by the hint of pleading in Sephiroth's voice; he'd assumed that of course he was going to spend the night with Sephiroth, and it hadn't occurred to him that Sephiroth might think otherwise. But he'd hesitated too long, and Sephiroth pulled back, looking away from him. Cloud bent over, kissing Sephiroth to silence him just as he was about to speak.
"I'd assumed I was staying. It startled me that you thought I might not. But I need to blow the candles out for safety before we go to sleep. Why don't you get under the covers while I do that?"
"Ah...yes Cloud." Sephiroth sounded content then, and when Cloud joined him he turned, offering his back for Cloud to spoon against, ceding the dominant and protective position to Cloud easily.